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Junior Taskmaster Season 1 Episode 6

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00:00Right let's go
00:11Can you take this to my head?
00:15Cool plus cool
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:30Hello and welcome to Junior Taskmaster. I'm Rose Matafail, your Junior Taskmaster.
00:42And week after week it has been my job to crush the dreams of hopeful young children and I gotta say I've been loving it.
00:49And I can't believe it, we've made it to the semi-finals.
00:51It's been a long road to get here and we've lost many fabulous contestants along the way.
00:56And I mean literally lost them.
00:58Some of them are just still wandering the woods near the Junior Taskmaster house.
01:02And you know what? We wish you well.
01:04So, over the series we've seen 25 contestants wolf down a smorgasbord of delicious tasks.
01:10They willingly served up their sanity, integrity and morality for you to get stuck into.
01:15And now we've got five contestants here tonight who are dangerously close to reaching the final
01:20and getting their cheeky chomps around this.
01:23I must warn you though, even though it looks like a giant Ferrero Rocher,
01:26do not bite into it, it will chip a tooth.
01:30As always, tonight's winner will take home the prize tasks and they'll win a place in the grand final.
01:35But that's not all. The person who comes second tonight also goes through and there is one last final spot available for the third place contestant who wins the most points across both semis.
01:47Got it? Understand all of that? I hope someone does because I barely do.
01:53So, it's time to meet the semi-finalists who are already and raring to go.
01:56So, please welcome Anita!
01:59August!
02:01Friendly!
02:03Roger!
02:05And Scarlett!
02:08And finally, my procky assistant.
02:11He's been with me since day one, he's been supportive, he's been polite and he didn't even complain very much
02:16when I backed over his foot with my car.
02:18It's Mike Wozniak!
02:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:23Thank you, Waze.
02:26Ultimately, this is a show about the dangers of horse racing.
02:29We know the smaller the jockey, the faster the horse, so the best jockey is no jockey.
02:35LAUGHTER
02:37You can't say that. Like, 90% of our viewership is jockeys, OK?
02:41It's very, very insulting. Right, Mike, prize task me, please.
02:45Riddle me this. What walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the afternoon?
02:50Or some or none of the above? That's right, a thing.
02:54And the category for this week's prize is the best thing with eyes.
02:58Rose will give five points to the best thing with eyes, and at the end of this episode,
03:01the overall winner will have five best things with eyes to take home with him.
03:04Hmm?
03:05Take it away, Rose.
03:06OK, don't tell me what to do, but yes.
03:08Uh, welcome back, Anita.
03:10Are you excited to be back at the semi-final?
03:12Yes.
03:13Yes. What have you brought?
03:14I've brought in a collage with David Attenborough in the shape of an eye.
03:18Um...
03:20Wow!
03:22What makes this the best thing with eyes, Anita?
03:24Yeah, it's the best thing with eyes because David Attenborough and his documentaries are an eye-opener
03:28and they draw you in.
03:30Oh, my God!
03:31He's enthusiastic about the planet, he loves animals and plants,
03:35and he encourages us to, um, recycle and litter pick.
03:41APPLAUSE
03:43You put me in a very difficult position there, Anita.
03:45Because imagine if I'm like, one point!
03:49Boring!
03:50Oh, I want to save the planet!
03:51Oh, the sweetest little speech I've ever heard in my damn life!
03:55LAUGHTER
03:56What's the favourite thing you've seen, David Attenborough do?
03:59Like, going to Antarctica and stuff.
04:01Yes.
04:02Would you go to Antarctica?
04:04Maybe, if I had lots of coats.
04:06LAUGHTER
04:07LAUGHTER
04:08Uh, alright, moving on to August.
04:12S'up, man, what's up?
04:13What's good, what's good?
04:14LAUGHTER
04:16Hit me with what you got, August.
04:18Potato!
04:19Oh.
04:21I mean, no, no, no, no, no.
04:23No, no, okay.
04:24If we're clapping a potato, have all of our standards slipped.
04:28LAUGHTER
04:29Look, August, we're talking about the best thing.
04:31Yeah.
04:32And that's a potato?
04:33Hit me with what you got.
04:34OK, first of all, this is an unpleasant-looking potato.
04:37Oh, you'll be like, oh, where's the eyes?
04:39Where's the eyes?
04:40Yeah.
04:41The, you see the brown spots?
04:42That's where the root comes from.
04:43Yeah.
04:44Those are called eyes.
04:45You didn't specify what type of eyes.
04:46Always like to get caught on a technicality.
04:48Uh...
04:49I know, potatoes have eyes.
04:50I knew that, yeah.
04:51Yeah.
04:52Does everyone know that?
04:53Yeah, I knew that.
04:54You knew that?
04:55We all know eyes.
04:56LAUGHTER
05:01All right, I'm going to move on to Finlay.
05:03Good to see you again.
05:04Good to see you too.
05:05What have you brought in, Finlay?
05:06Well, I brought in a trophy of the words winning.
05:09Oh, okay.
05:11Because winning is a good thing, you see.
05:13It's got two eyes, like a human does.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:17Why do you like winning so much, Finlay?
05:19Because I'm such a competitive person.
05:21OK.
05:22Everybody knows that about me, especially my family.
05:24How do you celebrate one of these wins?
05:26A celebratory dance.
05:29LAUGHTER
05:31Uh, look, Finlay, I appreciate that to you, the best thing ever would be to win.
05:35However, unfortunately, that is entirely under my control.
05:38LAUGHTER
05:40APPLAUSE
05:42Next up is...
05:44Patricia.
05:45Hello, how are you doing today?
05:46Good.
05:47Yeah, okay.
05:48I'm very excited to see what you brought in for your prize star, so hit me with it.
05:50So, what's the best thing that looks like eyes?
05:52Googly eyes.
05:53LAUGHTER
05:54I thought, what's the best thing with googly eyes?
05:57The best thing written in googly eyes.
06:00Oh.
06:01OK.
06:02Wow.
06:03I mean, I've got a soft spot for googly eyes.
06:04I do.
06:05Why are googly eyes your favourite thing, Persia?
06:06They're all around my house on all of the photos.
06:07Oh.
06:08So, you see this family photo when I was a little baby?
06:10Yeah.
06:11Bam, googly eyes.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13You know, I love the idea of being like a family ancestor, passing my portrait down from generation to generation, only to be absolutely disrespected by googly eyes.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:20I'm going to come to our last contestant. Hello, Scarlett.
06:21Hello.
06:22Hello.
06:23What have you brought in, which is the best thing with eyes?
06:24Well, I brought in something with real eyes that they can see out of.
06:25OK.
06:26I brought a guinea pig.
06:27You brought a guinea pig?
06:28Well, it's like a voucher for a guinea pig.
06:29LAUGHTER
06:30OK.
06:31That downgrade happened within milliseconds, yeah?
06:32LAUGHTER
06:33I mean, I literally can't get out of it.
06:34I have a guinea pig.
06:35I can't get out of this.
06:36I've just got a little bit of the impression, only to be absolutely disrespected by googly eyes.
06:37LAUGHTER
06:38I'm going to come to our last contestant.
06:39Hello, Scarlett.
06:40Hello.
06:41What have you brought in, which is the best thing with eyes?
06:42I brought in something with real eyes that they can see out of.
06:43OK.
06:44I brought a guinea pig.
06:45You brought a guinea pig?
06:46Well, it's like a voucher for a guinea pig.
06:48LAUGHTER
06:59can't see an eye in that prize task, Scarlett.
07:02Well, you go and buy the guinea pig with the prize task
07:05and the guinea pig has eyes.
07:07And it comes with the eyes, you're saying, yeah, as a package.
07:10If you get the guinea pig without the eyes,
07:12then it'll just look like a weird blob of fluffiness.
07:17So you have a guinea pig yourself?
07:19I've got two.
07:19What are their names?
07:20Cheddar and Cheeto.
07:22Scarlett, why did you not bring in your own guinea pig?
07:25Because I'm not giving my guinea pig away.
07:27Looks like someone didn't come to play today.
07:32The stakes are high.
07:33This is a semi-final, Scarlett.
07:38OK, look, honestly, you all have done an amazing job here.
07:41That's true.
07:42So, look, I can't believe I'm not giving a potato a one point.
07:46Let's go!
07:49Scarlett, as much as I love that, I didn't see any eyes.
07:51So it's one point to Scarlett, all right?
07:54Two points to a potato, three points to Finlay,
07:56and these are both very, very good.
07:59But I think what pipped it is that I just think he's a national treasure.
08:01So four points to Persia, but five points to Anita.
08:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:05To Katie Gattenbrough, the maid of eyes.
08:07APPLAUSE
08:09All righty.
08:09Yeah.
08:11OK.
08:12Michael Elizabeth Jane Pennywether Wozniak,
08:14if that even is your real name,
08:16what is the first task?
08:18This task revolves around your friend and mine...
08:20..milk.
08:21GASP
08:22Oh, this...
08:22Oh, this...
08:23MUSIC PLAYS
08:24MUSIC PLAYS
08:26MUSIC CONTINUES
08:29MUSIC CONTINUES
08:32MUSIC CONTINUES
08:34Hello.
08:36Hello, August.
08:37Hello.
08:38Hello.
08:39Hello, pleasure.
08:40Hello, Scarlett.
08:41Everything OK?
08:43Terrifying.
08:44Terrifying.
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46Hi.
08:47Hello, Anita.
08:48Yoo-hoo.
08:49Finlay.
08:53Why?
08:54Ah.
08:55LAUGHTER
08:56Pump up the inflatable cars.
08:59When the doorbell rings...
09:01You must remind Mike that he needs to buy some milk.
09:03Mike?
09:04Yeah?
09:05Buy your milk.
09:06Exactly.
09:07When the cowbell rings...
09:09PHONE RINGS
09:11You must answer the door.
09:12Shout,
09:13Is that the milkman?
09:15Then tell Mark, the milkman, a secret.
09:18If you fail to respond to the bells,
09:21ten seconds will be added to your overall time.
09:24The fastest person to pump up five inflatable cows wins.
09:29Are you much of a milk guy?
09:31I am.
09:32I do drink milk quite a lot.
09:34Ever milked in sheep?
09:35No.
09:36Apparently you milk sheep on their backs.
09:38Did you know that?
09:39I do not believe that you are talking the truth.
09:42OK.
09:43You know, I get that.
09:44About that.
09:45I don't think you can even milk a sheep.
09:47You can milk a pigeon, mate, if you try hard enough.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:51What would it take for you to reveal a secret?
09:54Good grief.
09:57Would you like me to tell you a secret?
09:59If you want to.
10:01When I was your age, I went into Mr Jamison's office.
10:05I stole a fig roll.
10:07You know you just told, like, loads of people, not just me.
10:11APPLAUSE
10:13Finlay, you've had a lot of milking chat with Mike there.
10:21Oh, yeah, yeah.
10:22Have you been on a farm?
10:23Ever been on a farm, Finlay?
10:24Once.
10:25Yeah? How was that?
10:26Terrible.
10:27Pumpkin picking, got all my claws dirty.
10:30How would you cope at a farm, do you reckon?
10:32You could run a farm?
10:33I could work at a farm.
10:34Do you reckon?
10:35But at, like, a farm, like, the gift shop.
10:37Yeah.
10:38LAUGHTER
10:39Did at some point Mike say that you could milk a pigeon if you had to?
10:42No, you can't.
10:44You can't milk a pigeon.
10:45Pigeons are a resident pigeon expert.
10:47Well...
10:48Pigeons eat crops and pigeons can feed their young pigeon milk.
10:52They brew it in their special pouch.
10:56Yes!
10:57LAUGHTER
10:59Well done.
11:00APPLAUSE
11:02At one point, Anita did this, which was quite dark, I've got to say.
11:07What was that?
11:08Was that an expression of how good you are at keeping a secret?
11:10Yeah.
11:11How many secrets are you holding right now?
11:13I'm not going to show.
11:15Wow!
11:16That's MI5 level!
11:18LAUGHTER
11:20OK, it's a bit of a silly one here, Mike.
11:22Whereas all of our other tasks so far have been deadly serious, of course.
11:25Who are we going to see first?
11:27First up, it's Persia and Scarlet.
11:29Hmm.
11:32Got a strategy?
11:34Pump.
11:35Just pump the cows.
11:37Pump the cows.
11:38Two at a time.
11:40Mike, do you need a bag of some milk?
11:42Oh!
11:43I'm going to get jiggy.
11:48Is that the milkman?
11:49BUZZER
11:54You're the milkman?
11:55No-one knows this, but I'm going to see Taylor Swift.
11:59He's a secret.
12:00I'm doing taskmaster.
12:05You need to buy some milk.
12:11Is that the milkman?
12:12My best friend has a boyfriend.
12:18Take him out of the table.
12:20Oh, my Lord.
12:21You need to buy some milk.
12:24Mike, you need to buy some milk.
12:29I have a secret friend from Norway.
12:33You need to buy some milk.
12:36Is that the milkman?
12:37I want another dog, but my dad can't know.
12:42Come on.
12:43Yes.
12:45I'll be back for you, Cal.
12:48You need to buy some milk.
12:51I love potatoes.
12:54Mike, get some milk.
12:57You need to buy some milk.
12:59No, he's buy some milk.
13:01And they're all done.
13:03WHISTLE BLOWS
13:04Thank you, Scarlett.
13:06Thank you, Poja.
13:07Goodbye.
13:08Goodbye.
13:09APPLAUSE
13:11Poja.
13:12Has your friend been warned about the outing of the boyfriend situation?
13:21Mm-mm.
13:22Mm-mm.
13:23Oh, my God.
13:24Girl.
13:26Is she going to freak out?
13:30That face says it all, to be honest.
13:32That face says it all.
13:33Um...
13:34Scarlett.
13:35Is it true, though, that you are going to see Taylor Swift?
13:37Yeah.
13:38Ooh.
13:39I mean, who is that a secret from?
13:40Taylor Swift?
13:42It's not really a secret anymore.
13:43I kind of told everyone.
13:44Right.
13:45Yeah.
13:46Everyone knows.
13:47Everyone knows, because you're a massive Taylor Swift fan.
13:48Yeah.
13:49Fantastic.
13:50And Poja, you mentioned that you would like another dog, but your dad can't know.
13:54Mm.
13:55Well, it's too late now.
14:01It is time for an air break.
14:03So, go put the kettle on for Auntie Rose.
14:04Go on.
14:05Milk.
14:06It's not going to make itself.
14:07See you in a few.
14:17Well, hello there.
14:18Welcome back to Junior Taskmaster, the show where we make children miss days of vital schooling
14:23to pop balloons and juggle eggs for our amusement.
14:26It's severely impacting their learning.
14:28What's next, Mike?
14:29It's time for Anita and August.
14:34Oh!
14:36You need to buy some milk.
14:37Oh, thank you.
14:40Mike, you need to buy some milk.
14:42Thank you, Anita.
14:43That's good.
14:44That's good.
14:45Danielle.
14:46So, how I've got my haircut is that I cut it myself without my mum knowing.
14:53That's scary.
14:56Are you the milk man?!
15:01Man!
15:09Hi.
15:10Hello.
15:13Bye.
15:17Go to buy milk.
15:24Are you the milkman?!
15:27Did you know Mike told me a secret?
15:29He once went into someone's room and stole a fig roll.
15:39My secret is that you should cut your moustache.
15:44Anita.
15:45You need to buy your milk.
15:47Wait, I could just do two at a time.
15:49How much time do I have left?
15:51It's fastest wins.
15:52Yes.
15:59Why?!
16:00Um...
16:02My secret to, uh...
16:05Buy milk!
16:08Can you brush me that false cow, please?
16:12I've finished.
16:13Buy milk.
16:15You need some brush of milk.
16:16Thank you, Anita.
16:20I love that.
16:21Did you enjoy that, August?
16:24No.
16:26Oh, come on.
16:30Oh, wow.
16:31Good job, Mike.
16:34How did you feel when you did that task?
16:36I was fed with regret.
16:37That...
16:38Yeah.
16:40Anita.
16:41Nowhere in the task did it say that you had to scream it at the milkman.
16:46Why did you want to scream at Mark?
16:47Because he's annoying.
16:50All of you seem very frustrated with the task.
16:52I mean, did you guys find that quite frustrating as well?
16:54Yeah.
16:55Because no one tells me secrets.
16:57Why do they tell you secrets?
16:58Because I just tell everyone secrets.
17:00LAUGHTER
17:02Like my dad says, I'm a blabbermouth.
17:04You've got to be open, you've got to be honest in this world.
17:06Scarlett, never change.
17:07LAUGHTER
17:10We do have one person left, don't we?
17:12We do indeed.
17:13And it is Finlay.
17:22Is that the milkman?
17:23Is that the milk...
17:26Oh, you need to buy your milk.
17:27Oh, thank you.
17:34He's wearing Crocs!
17:40Here's your milk.
17:42Thank you very much, Finlay.
17:44Oh, I need to pump up the...
17:47Do you need to buy your milk?
17:51Hi.
17:53Mike doesn't brush his teeth.
17:56Stop ringing the bell!
18:01Is that the milkman?
18:03Is that the milkman?
18:04Is that the milkman?
18:06I'm incredibly tired.
18:10Is that the milkman?
18:13I have finished with this task.
18:15They're all blown up.
18:18Could be back in a sec.
18:19I've got a trophy.
18:22LAUGHTER
18:24I've got a trophy.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:30Thank you, Finlay.
18:32Poor Mark.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37Oh.
18:38What kind of sick person would offer a head as a trophy?
18:42Don't look here.
18:44Don't look. Don't look here.
18:46Finlay, talk me through what I've just watched.
18:48Where were you at in this task?
18:50Well, I was in.
18:52Finlay's brain does not work.
18:54State of mine.
18:56What would you have done different?
18:57Through Mark's head across the room.
18:59But he's not even real, Finlay.
19:01He's a mannequin.
19:03He's probably back in a shop fight now.
19:06LAUGHTER
19:08Finlay, you are talking about my closest personal friend.
19:12He was Mike's best man at his wedding.
19:15So you're literally saying Mike has no friends
19:17because his best friend's a mannequin.
19:19That is exactly what I'm saying, yeah.
19:21LAUGHTER
19:23So, Mike, hit me with some stats.
19:24Missing a bell or misinterpreting a bell, there was a penalty for that.
19:29Finlay missed 29 bells.
19:31OK.
19:33Which meant your total time technically was 13 minutes and 48 seconds.
19:36Anita missed 11 bells, so got a total of 14 minutes and 5 seconds.
19:40August only missed 3 bells, 12 minutes and 19 seconds.
19:44Scarlet was very quick with no missed bells at all, 5 minutes 57.
19:49Persia also missed no bells and blasted through it in 4 minutes and 53 seconds.
19:52OK, all right, so...
19:55APPLAUSE
19:57Very close hat.
19:59Anita is one point.
20:00Finlay with two points, three points to August, four points to Scarlet,
20:03but that is the full five points to Persia.
20:06APPLAUSE
20:08Shall we see how that all looks on the scoreboard, Mike?
20:11We certainly can.
20:12Here we go, it is very tight indeed.
20:15Three of them on five points and one on six,
20:17but lurching ahead is Persia with nine points.
20:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:23Good points.
20:25All right.
20:26Mike, you better have another task for us.
20:28Also help me God.
20:30The strangest thing has happened.
20:32I really miss my dog.
20:34It's very odd, cos I don't have a dog.
20:38Not my words, the words of Bono,
20:40which, in this next task, couldn't be less helpful.
20:43OK.
20:44LAUGHTER
20:45Hello, Anita.
20:59Hello.
21:00Pleasure.
21:01Hi.
21:02Hello, August.
21:03Hello.
21:04Hello, Finlay.
21:05Hello.
21:06Hello, Scarlet.
21:07Hello, Mike.
21:08How's it going?
21:09Good.
21:10Oh, yeah, I can do a talent.
21:11You've learnt a new talent since I've seen you.
21:13Right, so, I'm Scouse.
21:14Yeah.
21:15But I can turn London, like...
21:18You've learnt a London accent?
21:19Shall we go to the Pole?
21:20To the North Pole?
21:21To the Pole, like a swimming pole.
21:23It's meant to be Pearl.
21:24I understand you when you say it in Scouse.
21:26LAUGHTER
21:27On the next task, write down a number between one and ten in the first hole,
21:36a letter of the alphabet in the second hole,
21:39and one of the five objects in front of you in the third hole.
21:42You have one minute.
21:44Your time starts now.
21:45So, here's your next task.
21:46You can see there's a hole for the number.
21:48First hole, second hole, third hole.
21:50Here's a pen.
21:51OK.
21:52What number are you going for?
21:54I think I'm going to go with...
21:56Four.
21:57Three.
21:58Seven.
21:59Eight.
22:00Nine.
22:01Nine. Why nine?
22:02Because nine's my age.
22:04Best age so far?
22:06OK.
22:08What's the next one?
22:09Letter of the alphabet.
22:10G.
22:11F.
22:12L.
22:13S.
22:14And an object in front of me.
22:16One of these five objects.
22:18A briefcase pad.
22:19A yoga mat.
22:20Yeah.
22:21A tray.
22:22And that's four.
22:23There's no other thing.
22:24Yeah, there is.
22:26May I put it up in the snow?
22:27Certainly.
22:36Ooh!
22:37OK.
22:38APPLAUSE
22:41Anita, best age, nine.
22:43Do you stand by that?
22:45Nine's good.
22:47Did anyone have a favourite age?
22:49Persia?
22:50One.
22:51Pff.
22:52Everyone cleans up after you.
22:53You never get in trouble.
22:55You can scream in public.
22:56Only people look at you weird.
22:58To be fair, you can do that at 32 as well.
23:01What was your favourite age, Mike?
23:03Oh, right now, yeah.
23:05But I think I was born a middle-aged man.
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08The first man to be 44 for his entire life.
23:11LAUGHTER
23:12All right, I want to know more about this task.
23:13Who was up first, Mike?
23:14You bet.
23:15It is Anita, August and Finlay.
23:17OK.
23:19Balance seven different things, beginning with A.
23:23Nine different things, beginning with G.
23:26Balance four different things, beginning with L.
23:29And a frying pan.
23:31Fastest wins.
23:32You have a maximum of ten minutes.
23:34Your time starts now.
23:36Oh.
23:37Oh.
23:38G.
23:39What's actually G?
23:40Ooh.
23:41A jump...
23:42A jumper?
23:43A jumper.
23:44Can I go to the shed?
23:46Wait.
23:47Jumper didn't start with a G?
23:48No.
23:49Is that just a J?
23:50That's a shame, isn't it?
23:51Yeah.
23:52G-g-g-g-g.
23:53Mollipop sticks.
23:54Wait.
23:55Question.
23:56Yes.
23:57Can I say things like A banana?
24:00All the information's on the task.
24:02I would say so.
24:03A brick.
24:05A brick.
24:06Glasses.
24:08Glass.
24:10Light.
24:11Bright.
24:12That's a torch.
24:13So you picked up a light and then dismissed it as a torch.
24:17A torch.
24:18A tennis ball.
24:19A gloom.
24:20A ukulele.
24:21A tennis ball.
24:22A gloom.
24:23A ukulele.
24:24A...
24:25Baking thing.
24:29Green balloon.
24:30Green balloon.
24:31Green stick.
24:32Green stick.
24:33Green thingy-mabob.
24:34Green thingy-mabob.
24:35It's a torch.
24:37I'll classify as a light.
24:38You'll classify that as a light, so that counts, is it?
24:40Green tape.
24:41Oh.
24:42You found an L.
24:43And cards.
24:44It's actually begins with A.
24:45OK.
24:47Meta-ficking tools.
24:48A brush.
24:50OK.
24:51That's it.
24:52Balance.
24:55One.
24:56Two.
24:57The pan can't be on the table.
24:58You've got to be standing holding the pan.
25:00Five.
25:01Six.
25:02Let me know when you've done it.
25:03Done.
25:06Zip.
25:07Oh!
25:08Oh, my glass!
25:10Eight.
25:11There we go.
25:12It's good.
25:13You done?
25:14Yes.
25:16Wait, I'm on one leg?
25:18One.
25:19Good Lord.
25:21OK, bye.
25:25Wow.
25:29OK, Finley, you went with L.
25:32Because I have an amazing little sister called Lily.
25:35Shout out Lily.
25:37August, I glue.
25:39You think I was born yesterday, dude.
25:41Hold it, hold it, hold it.
25:42Hear me out.
25:43If we say, oh, I need a toothbrush.
25:45You want to say, I need toothbrush.
25:47I need a brick.
25:48You want to say, I need brick.
25:49You say, I need a brick.
25:50Anita.
25:51Anita.
25:52You're challenging me.
25:53You don't think I should accept As.
25:54No.
25:55The girl who's saying green everything is telling me I shouldn't accept an A.
26:01So, you've got a noun.
26:02Yes.
26:03But the noun doesn't start with the A.
26:06You have the A, then you have a finger space, then you have the noun.
26:11You've got an adjective finger space noun.
26:14LAUGHTER
26:16It's all coming from the wonderful lady who brought us Gumpa.
26:21LAUGHTER
26:24Oh, gosh, Mike, I think there's something under your shoe, actually.
26:27Yeah.
26:28Oh, what's that?
26:29Oh!
26:30Oh!
26:31Please, enjoy these ads.
26:32APPLAUSE
26:45Welcome back to the show where plucky young bakers battle it out in the tent
26:49for the honour of my coveted hand...
26:50No, sorry, that's the wrong autocue there, sorry.
26:52LAUGHTER
26:53No, anyway, you're watching Junior Taskmaster.
26:55What's up next, Mike?
26:57We have Scarlet and Persia.
26:59One of the things in front of you.
27:04What are you thinking?
27:06Probably a briefcase.
27:07Yeah?
27:08You could be an item.
27:09Well, some would see that as an insult.
27:12I'm going to say Mike.
27:14You're going to say Mike?
27:15Yep, you.
27:17Balance eight different things, three different things,
27:20beginning with S.
27:22Beginning with F on a briefcase on a mic.
27:26Like...
27:27Fastest wins.
27:28You have a maximum of ten minutes.
27:30Your time starts now.
27:32OK.
27:33How am I going to balance things on you?
27:35I've got salt.
27:36You've got one object, OK?
27:38One.
27:39I'm going to the shed.
27:40I don't know if anyone's ever balanced anything on me before.
27:43This is a plush fish.
27:47This is a rubber fish.
27:49Are they different things, are they?
27:51Yeah, they're different materials.
27:53That's a salmon.
27:54Ooh, stick.
27:55Straw.
27:56String.
27:57S.
27:58The letter S.
27:59What glasses?
28:00Spectacles glasses?
28:01Yeah.
28:02Daddy?
28:03OK.
28:04I've done them.
28:05Flashlight.
28:06Flashlight?
28:07Flashlight.
28:08Ooh.
28:09Americana.
28:10Let's go.
28:11OK.
28:12Straw.
28:13Stick.
28:14Spoon.
28:15Spoon.
28:16S.
28:17OK, Mike.
28:18Yes.
28:19I'm going to need you...
28:20Yeah.
28:21..to sit like this.
28:25Golly.
28:26Done.
28:31Hey, done.
28:32Mm-hm-hm.
28:39Thank you, Persia.
28:40What?
28:41Do you respect me, Persia?
28:43Yep.
28:44APPLAUSE
28:45I mean, look, why do you even ask that question, Mike, when so clearly she doesn't?
28:58I think it's quite nice to regard him as an item.
29:00I think that's a compliment.
29:01But what was...
29:02Was there a...
29:03Like, I only heard four in that task.
29:04The fifth item was the table.
29:06Oh.
29:07OK.
29:08No-one went for the table.
29:09Which would have been a potentially easy thing to balance stuff on.
29:12Yeah.
29:13Er...
29:14Two fish, dear Persia.
29:15OK.
29:16OK.
29:17OK.
29:18So...
29:19Yeah.
29:20There's a lot of things different about these two fish.
29:21Number one.
29:22Mm-hm.
29:23One's this big, the other's that big.
29:24OK.
29:25One was made out of rubber, one's plush.
29:26Those are different.
29:27Yes.
29:28That doesn't make sense when you say plush fish, because on the footage...
29:31Mm-hm.
29:32..they wrote in that fancy cool writing...
29:34Yeah.
29:35Bracket.
29:36Yeah.
29:37..fish bracket plus...
29:38Yeah.
29:39..not plush bracket fish.
29:41That's quite good.
29:43I do want to, er...
29:44I do want to talk to Scarlet.
29:46Why did you choose S?
29:47Scarlet.
29:48Oh, Scarlet.
29:49Oh, yeah, that's your name.
29:50Um...
29:51But I must remember them.
29:52Um...
29:53Look, I'm going to accept everyone on their terms.
29:56So, this task was all about how fast you did that in.
29:59Mike, what are the stats?
30:01If it's just times you're after...
30:02Yeah.
30:03The slowest was August, with eight minutes, 58.
30:05OK.
30:06Then Anita, six minutes and four seconds.
30:08OK.
30:09Finley, five minutes and 49 seconds.
30:11Scarlet, three minutes, 55.
30:13Persia, absolutely blazing ahead on one minute, 43 seconds.
30:16OK.
30:17All right.
30:18Perfect.
30:19I'm taking it as it is.
30:20So, one point to August, two points to Anita, three points to Finley,
30:25four points to Scarlet, but five points to Persia.
30:27There we go.
30:28That's it.
30:29That's how I'll read it.
30:30APPLAUSE
30:33What's next, Mike?
30:34The next task focuses on the engine room of the British economy.
30:38Poetry.
30:39Yes!
30:40Oh...
30:41I know I hated this one.
30:43Hello.
30:44Hello, August.
30:45Hello, Persia.
30:46Hello.
30:47Hello, Scarlet.
30:48Hi.
30:49Hello, Scarlet.
30:50Anita.
30:51Hi.
30:52Hello, Finley.
30:53How are you?
30:54Good.
30:55Write a poem about your favourite celebrity.
31:00Your poem must have at least four lines.
31:01She must perform your poem.
31:02To Mike in ten minutes.
31:03Best celebrity poem wins.
31:07A bonus poem will be awarded for the most dramatic,
31:09especially in one last week.
31:12Time to do is find where she is in two sections.
31:14Oneice of Spicy, two points, one in five sections,
31:16and three points, two points, two points.
31:19Another one, two points.
31:22One points, both points.
31:23On this point, we'll be awarded for the most dramatic performance.
31:27Your time starts now.
31:31Have you got a celebrity in mind?
31:33Yes, Adam Sandler.
31:36The Rock.
31:37There we go.
31:38The Rock?
31:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:39Dwayne The Rock Johnson?
31:41Yeah.
31:41Dare I ask who your celebrity might be?
31:44Taylor Swift.
31:46Obviously.
31:47I had a feeling.
31:47With someone who's been on Taskmaster Count as a celebrity.
31:51I know who I'm doing.
31:53Who?
31:54Hello.
31:55Hello.
31:55Who's the celebrity?
31:57You.
31:57Me?
31:58Gus.
31:59Gus Khan?
32:00Yeah, he was just generally a good contestant.
32:03I want to do a limerick.
32:05You like a limerick?
32:06It's the easiest.
32:07It's the easiest.
32:08I'm doing acrostic.
32:10Are you?
32:11Do you know what acrostic is?
32:12So you could do marvellous Mike and then ignorant Mike.
32:18Icon, what rhymes with icon?
32:20You tell me.
32:21Icon, schmicon.
32:23Icon, like on.
32:26I'm not doing a rhyming poem.
32:32Shout out, Paul and Sandler.
32:35I mean, who has shown you the ancient text of Adam Sandler?
32:39Adam Sandler first.
32:41He's amazing.
32:41He plays the same character in every movie, which I love.
32:45I've watched Just Go With It.
32:46I've watched Grown Ups.
32:48I've watched every single...
32:49I've watched Hotel Transylvania.
32:50Wow, it's amazing.
32:52I'm just laughing because Just Go With It is like literally a rom-com with Jennifer Aniston.
32:57I know.
32:58I know.
32:58I know.
32:58It's amazing.
33:00Scarlet.
33:01I love it in yours, though.
33:03You've chosen Taylor.
33:05You started with icon, and that was the non-negotiable word.
33:09Yeah?
33:09Because she is an icon.
33:11She is?
33:12You can't just have a poem about Taylor Swift, Gavin.
33:15Taylor Swift is amazing.
33:16Now, Taylor Swift is an icon.
33:18She's an icon.
33:19Icon.
33:20Icon.
33:20And I love the only thing you came up with was Icon Schmeikon, which sounds very sarcastic.
33:27Persia, you could have chosen any taskmaster contestant, and, you know, you didn't go for me.
33:32I just want to say.
33:32You didn't go for me.
33:33I just want to say.
33:33Yeah, you want to say?
33:34Yeah?
33:35You are the best one.
33:37Yeah?
33:37But offstage thus made me laugh.
33:41I'm not saying that you didn't make me laugh, Gus.
33:43Hold me back.
33:44Hold me back, Mike.
33:44Hold me back.
33:45I don't want this to take a damn turn.
33:48You were evil.
33:49Yeah, okay.
33:50If I am evil with Gus, that's fine.
33:52Okay, so, I'm looking forward to seeing the celebrity poems.
33:54Who is up first?
33:55It's Finlay and August.
33:57Oh, okay.
33:59Are you ready for my dramatic performance?
34:01I'm most certainly ready.
34:02No, you're going to need some popcorn.
34:04Can it be imaginary popcorn, please?
34:05Yes.
34:08Adam Sandler is very bold.
34:10He plays in some movies that are very cold.
34:15Or so I've been told.
34:19If you look at him, you would see he's quite old.
34:25But that's nothing that we can't fix,
34:28because he's only 46,
34:31and he'll be able to pay us with piles of his gold.
34:35Was that dramatic enough for you?
34:37Do I get bonus points?
34:38That's up to Rose.
34:40Dwayne The Rock.
34:42His acting will give you a shock.
34:45He was a fighter.
34:47An actor as well.
34:49Not a writer.
34:50To get his autograph,
34:52it will never be in stock.
34:56Done.
35:01Well, okay.
35:03August, I enjoyed that.
35:04It was like a beat poetry delivery of that limerick.
35:07I didn't follow the basic syllables or the structure of it.
35:12No, I think you kind of did.
35:14I think you nailed it.
35:15I mean, like, do you ever perform?
35:16No.
35:17No, not a performer.
35:17I'm chill.
35:20Finley, I reckon you were working backwards from the word old.
35:23He is quite old, though, isn't he?
35:25Is he 46?
35:26I think.
35:27He's 57.
35:28He looks so young.
35:34Um, alrighty.
35:35Who was next?
35:36Time for Persia.
35:37Okay.
35:38Pigeon.
35:42There you go, Mike.
35:43Gus Khan, you are my favourite Taskmaster contestant.
35:51You always made me laugh,
35:53and I was always rooting for you.
35:59Let's just get dramatic.
36:07Extremely dramatic.
36:10Doing so well, Mike.
36:11Very dramatic.
36:13Okay, you're done.
36:19Thank you, Persia.
36:21Very tough one.
36:26Now, Persia, I feel like I've watched some sort of weird experimental theatre piece from the 60s.
36:30That was, um...
36:31No, no, no, before you say anything bad about that...
36:34It's clearly...
36:35Wow, they're catching on, these kids.
36:38It clearly said it was dramatic.
36:40What's more dramatic than...
36:41Can I imagine exercising on the floor?
36:44LAUGHTER
36:45Persia, I would argue that maybe you outsourced the drama, dear.
36:51You made someone else do the work that maybe perhaps you should have done.
36:54I spoke dramatically.
36:55You did speak like a person in slow motion.
36:58Give me a bit of a...
36:59Gus Korn.
37:00Gus Korn, you were my favourite Taskmaster contestant.
37:03LAUGHTER
37:04That was quite good.
37:06It's quite regal.
37:07Hey, I would love to see who's next, Mike.
37:09It is Scarlet.
37:12Done.
37:13Done.
37:13But before I perform, I need some dramatic lighting.
37:19Oh, very well.
37:21Oh, this is better.
37:24The amazing woman.
37:26The one-of-a-kind.
37:28The Taylor Swift.
37:29The girl who performs three hour shows.
37:35Well, three and a half hour shows.
37:37Don't forget the half.
37:39The person who saved so many people's lives.
37:43So many people's.
37:44Even with all the hate, she didn't let anyone, not one person,
37:49tell her she was on her own.
37:51She's got style like no-one else.
37:54And she's got a blank space in her heart.
37:57For every single Swifty in her heart.
37:59People walking.
38:00She keeps them safe.
38:02She hopes them.
38:03She's an icon.
38:10Thank you, Scarlet.
38:22Wow, wow, wow.
38:24Scarlet.
38:25I think you brought yourself to tears at one point there.
38:28Is that a skill you have?
38:30Yeah.
38:32I will say this.
38:33What was the poem element of that?
38:35There's acoustic poems.
38:37There's rhyming poems.
38:39Mm-hmm.
38:39There's other poems out there.
38:41Right.
38:41But my poem.
38:42Yeah.
38:43Was from the heart.
38:45OK.
38:46I just about thought that.
38:49All right.
38:50Last advert break now.
38:52So enjoy it while it lasts.
38:53Hang ten.
38:54Stay cool.
38:54Never change.
38:55Et cetera, et cetera.
38:56See you after.
38:56APPLAUSE
38:57Welcome back to the final part of the show.
39:13Mikey, my little church mouse, where are we at?
39:16Before the break, we enjoyed some poems about the great and the good
39:19of modern celebrity, and we've now got one more to go, and it's Anita.
39:23OK, are you going to tell me why you're getting all this stuff?
39:28No.
39:29Ow!
39:30This is heavy.
39:31OK.
39:32Am I holding that?
39:33No.
39:34Go!
39:35Do you want to hold that as well?
39:36Mike, can you get in the shed, please?
39:37Certainly.
39:38What do you want to do?
39:39Hey, you're one of my favourite items from the shed.
39:40Oh, Anita.
39:41It's a bit big of it.
39:42It's quite a quiet one.
39:44Ooh.
39:45So, we're going to go to the shed race.
39:47OK.
39:48I got it.
39:49Yay!
39:50Mike, what's me at?
39:54Marvellous, Mike.
39:55I like Mike.
39:57Kangaroo Mike does a pike.
39:59Every teddy he has, he cuddles tight.
40:02You, Mike, are so fab, I will give you a gift.
40:05My top ten favourite items from the shed, including you.
40:10Aw!
40:11Thank you, Anita.
40:12You're welcome.
40:13I need to say something.
40:14OK.
40:15Every other person here who tried to make those dramatic, they did it like this.
40:32But instead, the scene was dramatic, because I was sat on a zebra, I had a moustache, I was
40:41wearing all the multiple thingy-bobs, so it's still dramatic.
40:47OK.
40:48It was a moving, moving acrostic about how brilliant Mike is.
40:52Mike, just the image of you and Anita on those little zebras with a moustache on.
40:56I like that.
40:57Kangaroo Mike does a pike, I just remembered that as well.
41:00Mm-hm.
41:01Kangaroo Mike.
41:02Who's Kangaroo Mike?
41:03I am Kangaroo Mike.
41:05Oh!
41:06I go by two names, Mike and Kangaroo Mike.
41:08It's points time.
41:13Now, this is entirely up to my emotional response to these poems and the quality of them.
41:18So, look, Persia, I feel like it was about a short poem, you outsourced the drama.
41:22So, I'm going to give one point to Persia.
41:24August, I feel like your heart wasn't in it.
41:26Two points.
41:27Finlay, very, very dramatic.
41:28And look, we all love Adam Sandler.
41:30Three points to Finlay.
41:31Now, it's between these two, I think, look, I love a bit of lighting, I love a bit of drama
41:36and a lot of passion behind it.
41:37So, four points to Scarlett and it's going to be five points to Anita.
41:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:45I think everyone had different interpretations of drama, but I've got to say, taking it outside,
41:50taking it to the shed, putting a moustache on, I'm going to give the bonus point to Anita.
41:53Thank you!
41:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:56All right!
41:58What has that done to the scores, Mike?
42:01It is tight.
42:02We've got August in fifth place with eight points, Finlay on 11, Scarlett 13,
42:06Anita on 14, Imposia on 15.
42:08It's very, very close indeed.
42:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:14All right, you adorable little scant, make your way over the stage for the final task of the song!
42:28OK, Mike Beck, who is reading out tonight's final task?
42:33Finlay, please, if you do the business.
42:35I shall.
42:36LAUGHTER
42:37Unroll the roll of sticky tape, put all the sticky tape into your bum bag,
42:42zip up the bum bag and hold the naked cardboard wheel above your head.
42:45You must wear your bum bag at all times, fastest wins.
42:48OK, I'm going to take that off you so you've got both hands free, Finlay.
42:52Are you all clear on what, er, what is happening?
42:56Yeah.
42:57Yeah, you've got to unfurl the sellotape and then that sellotape has got to end up in your bum bag.
43:01Yeah.
43:02Mm-hm.
43:03And then that's a good one and all.
43:04WHISTLE BLOWS
43:06Come on, let's go!
43:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:12SIRS
43:13SIRS
43:14SIRS
43:15SIRS
43:16SIRS
43:17Come on, guys!
43:18SIRS
43:20I'm Batman!
43:21SIRS
43:22SIRS
43:23SIRS
43:24SIRS
43:34SIRS
43:35SIRS
43:36SIRS
43:37SIRS
43:38SIRS
43:39SIRS
43:40SIRS
43:41SIRS
43:42SIRS
43:43SIRS
43:44SIRS
43:45SIRS
43:46SIRS
43:47I thought, don't get it on something that you can't put in your bum bag.
43:51SIRS
43:52Oh, my hand is soft.
43:55A pair of sticky boxy gloves are happening over here.
44:09Mike, let's score that up and see how that affects the final scores.
44:13Get back down here.
44:15Thomas!
44:19Mike.
44:20That was a lot of tape.
44:23That was a lot of tape.
44:24Yep.
44:24And now they're going to be reeling it all onto the tape again.
44:27Yeah, yeah.
44:28Exactly.
44:29Fantastic.
44:29OK, I think it was pretty clear cut.
44:32It was tough.
44:34There was some boxing glove situation.
44:36Yes.
44:37Times-wise, Finlay managed 4 minutes 35 seconds.
44:40Scarlet, 2 minutes 32 seconds.
44:42Anita, 1 minute 31.
44:44And Persia, 1 minute 24.
44:46Very close indeed with those two.
44:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49OK, what does that mean points-wise, Mike?
44:52Points-wise, it means 1 to August, 2 to Finlay, 3 to Scarlet, 4 to Anita and 5 to Persia.
44:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59That's good.
45:01Right.
45:02Mike.
45:02I am dying to know these scores.
45:05Tell me the scores.
45:06The final scores.
45:07You've got to tell me the scores, man!
45:08Why don't you tell me the scores?
45:09Well, these results are sickeningly exciting, Rose, because the runner-up and the winner will
45:16be going straight through to the final.
45:17There is also one space available for whoever comes third with the most points across both
45:21semis, but we won't find out who made the cut until the finale.
45:24So, here we go.
45:27In fifth place, with nine points, we have August, ladies and gentlemen.
45:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:33In fourth place, with 13 points, it's Finlay.
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:39Third is Scarlet, with 16 points.
45:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:43And with 18 points, and guaranteed through to the final in second place, it's Anita.
45:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:51Which means joining her in our final with an almighty 20 points.
45:55Tonight's winner is Persia!
45:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:59Go on up and go with your fingers and go!
46:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:03Well, that is your lot for the first semifinal.
46:08And the only thing more exciting than a semifinal is a second semifinal.
46:12So, make sure you come back next week.
46:14But in the meantime, let's hear it for all of our contestants.
46:17And, of course, tonight's winner, Persia!
46:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE