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Taskmaster (AU) Season 4 Episode 1

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Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to a brand new series of Taskmaster Australia.
00:44It's a new season and that means everything is bigger and better.
00:47And by everything, I mean my car park and my paycheck.
00:51And as a result, it must be said, everything else has really suffered.
00:56And despite complaints that the chocolate inside tastes a lot like polystyrene,
01:00we've got ourselves another trophy of my dome up for grabs.
01:05The five new faces vying for glory this season,
01:08each coming from different levels of fame and circumstance,
01:12all united by one thing, availability, are Dave Hughes, Emma Holland,
01:22Lisa McHugh, Takashi Wakatsugi, and Tommy Little.
01:29And once again, physically by my side, yet hierarchically well beneath me,
01:36it's lesser Tom Cashman.
01:38All right, I'd like our first prize task for the season, please.
01:46That's right, our first task is a prize task.
01:48Each of our contestants have brought in a prize
01:50and the winner of the episode will take home all five prizes.
01:53Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
01:55what they consider to be the most misunderstood thing.
01:59Dave, what do you have for me?
02:01Uh, I have the ashes of my, uh...
02:06No, of my dog, Barkley.
02:11So, this is where we're back.
02:13Mm-hm.
02:14Season four, let's kick it off with discussing your dead pet.
02:17Thanks for that, Husey.
02:18Yeah, but he was misunderstood.
02:20See, even though he bit a lot of people, he was a lovely dog.
02:24So, you're just saying your dog was misunderstood, essentially.
02:27So, you could have just had a beautiful photo of your dog, Barkley.
02:31Yeah, cos I'm committed to this show.
02:33And Barkley would love that.
02:34So, Barkley will go to the winner of tonight's episode.
02:40OK.
02:42If I win your dog's ashes, I'm smoking them.
02:46Sorry, but I am.
02:49All right, you're really putting it all on the line there.
02:51What have you got, Emma?
02:52I brought in the Commonwealth Electoral Act
02:56number 17 from 1948.
02:59Um, it's the part of the Electoral Act
03:01that discusses proportional representation in Senate elections.
03:07I hate to say this, but Husey's pet's ashes
03:09are now seeming less depressing.
03:13If you can look me in the eye
03:14and explain Senate preferencing to me,
03:16I'll accept less than five points.
03:18OK, well, I'm not sure I really can describe Senate preferencing.
03:21Yeah, cos it's hard to understand.
03:23People don't understand it.
03:28So, what have you brought in, Lisa?
03:30Maths.
03:31Maths?
03:32I'm just not good at maths.
03:33And I don't really understand it.
03:34But how did I bring in maths?
03:35126.
03:36But how did I bring in maths?
03:39Far out.
03:40That's not right.
03:41It's not right.
03:46You proved that Lisa's was good, cos you misunderstood it.
03:48Waka, what did you bring in?
03:50Yes.
03:51I bought a giraffe.
03:57I think giraffe doesn't have a long neck.
04:03It has long shoulder.
04:07Lower shoulder.
04:09You know what I mean?
04:10No, not really.
04:11Like, one thing that the giraffe's known for
04:13is it has a really long neck.
04:14OK, here is shoulder.
04:15Yeah.
04:16How about here?
04:17It feels shoulder to me.
04:19All right, all right.
04:20The here?
04:21That's neck.
04:22Right, all right.
04:23That's giraffe's here.
04:24Oh.
04:25The here is shoulder.
04:26Yep.
04:27If giraffe wear a shirt, that part...
04:33You ready?
04:35I get that.
04:37Yeah.
04:38Most people would say it's got a long neck,
04:39but I think you've made a convincing case
04:41for it having a very long shoulder.
04:43Yes.
04:45All right, Tommy.
04:46Tommy.
04:47I have brought in the skull of a red deer.
04:52It's misunderstood because people think
04:53when they see it at my house that I'm into hunting.
04:55Tommy, someone shot that.
04:57No, mine died of natural cause.
05:02All right, so what are you saying is misunderstood about your object?
05:04Because it's not a good look.
05:06And I feel that's misunderstood.
05:09I feel like you misunderstood the assignment.
05:12I just love the idea because if Hughes wins this,
05:15he's got to go home and take this with him
05:19and then convince people that he's a vegetarian.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:23But I'm not a vegetarian.
05:24I'm a vegan.
05:26He says that.
05:27Have you seen the skull on the wall?
05:30And the dead dog in the jar?
05:33LAUGHTER
05:35All right, I should give out some scores, shouldn't I?
05:36I think so.
05:37Well, Tommy Little gets one.
05:38OK.
05:39I'm going to give two points to Lisa because I understand maths.
05:42I'm giving three points to Husey.
05:44I respect your dog at the same time.
05:45It's very depressing
05:46and I'm trying to create light entertainment here.
05:49Can we smile because he happened?
05:54LAUGHTER
05:55I'm giving four points to Emma.
05:58I think we all have no idea what's going on
06:00when it comes to that section of the Constitution.
06:02OK.
06:03I'm going to give five points to Waka
06:04because he made a good point.
06:06I think we've been misunderstanding the giraffe all this time.
06:13OK, Boy Wonder, time to earn your keep.
06:15I want a task.
06:17I can do that.
06:18And first up, it's time for our contestants to win at losing.
06:25I'm OK.
06:38Where's Tom?
06:41Where's Tom?
06:44Tom?
06:46This is not Tom.
06:49Lose the van keys.
06:50You cannot leave the van.
06:55The keys that remain lost for longest wins.
06:58Tom will arrive to search for the keys in four minutes.
07:00Your time starts now.
07:03I'll just eat it.
07:05Obviously, I eat it.
07:07Can I just put it up me?
07:10Can I just put it up my arse?
07:14APPLAUSE
07:18So it's the very first task for the season
07:20and there's no lesser Tom in it.
07:21I like this format.
07:23LAUGHTER
07:24Do you think maybe we should do it like this from now on?
07:25Just you not being there?
07:26I feel like it's already an improvement.
07:29I disagree.
07:30And also, we've already filmed it.
07:32LAUGHTER
07:35All right.
07:37Now, what a way to kick off the season, too.
07:39Tommy Little straight away, he's discussing putting things up his arse.
07:42I wish I could also say that that was a once-off,
07:45but that becomes a really common theme, Tom.
07:47LAUGHTER
07:49But that's your comedy.
07:50That's what you do and that's why people love you,
07:52because you just look at what everyone else has already thought
07:54and then you just say it out loud.
07:56But is that where you would look first?
07:57Because I've seen your act?
07:58Yes, because I've seen your act.
08:00I'd think, what would Tommy Little think?
08:02I'd think he wants to keep it basic.
08:03He would think of putting him straight up his arse
08:05and I'd just be up your arse in no time.
08:07LAUGHTER
08:08And I'd be like, here they are.
08:09Your comedy's predictable and so's the location of these keys.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:16So, just to be clear, losing the keys...
08:18That's right.
08:19..and you can't leave the van...
08:20Mm-hm.
08:21I'm going to arrive in four minutes
08:22and I'm going to look for the keys.
08:23Longest before I find the keys wins.
08:26All right, who are we going to see lose their keys first?
08:28One jiggles her key before it works,
08:30the other laughs when he sees keys being jangled.
08:32It's Lisa and Tommy.
08:33LAUGHTER
08:34I just want you to know, it's not...
08:36It is going down my pants?
08:38Absolutely.
08:39But it is not going up my arse.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:42It's accidentally going up me!
08:44It hasn't gone up me!
08:46LAUGHTER
08:47Oh, f***!
08:48Whoa!
08:49Oh, my gosh.
08:50I have got a couple of places that I want to put this.
08:52It's not up my arse.
08:53It's not up.
08:54It's on my gooch.
08:56Grow up.
08:57Lisa, please step out of the car.
09:06I said I wasn't allowed to.
09:07No, now you've made it.
09:08Your time is up.
09:09OK.
09:10And where's the key?
09:11That's a trick question.
09:12Don't you have to find it?
09:13Where are the keys from?
09:14But isn't that the point, that you have to find them?
09:16Yeah.
09:17Do you want to give me a hint?
09:18Why would it be in the front end of the car,
09:19to be in the back end?
09:20Not in the back end.
09:21It'd be near the back end.
09:23It's near it.
09:24Where are they then?
09:25Are you in a real hurry?
09:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:27Why is that?
09:28So if you could just tell me where they are, that'd be.
09:29Do I really need to tell you?
09:31Or do you have to find them?
09:32Do you want another hint?
09:33Yep.
09:34I'm quite ashamed.
09:35What have you done?
09:37Is it in your undies?
09:42Why would you guess that?
09:43That's something that would bring you shame.
09:45Oh my god, now I feel like I actually should tell you where they are.
09:47Yeah, maybe just a hint, just so I can find them.
09:49What do you need them for?
09:51Oh, just to start the van and use the van.
09:53For the next task?
09:54Yeah, exactly, stuff like that.
09:55It's in your undies, isn't it?
09:56What makes you say that?
09:58Because when I ask you the direct question, you avert eye contact and giggle and refuse
10:03to promise that it's not in your undies.
10:05Do you think I would put it in my undies?
10:06Yeah.
10:07Do you really want me to give them to you?
10:08Really important stuff.
10:09Do you want me to give them to you?
10:10Yeah, yeah.
10:11Seriously?
10:12Emma, I'm going to blow it.
10:13I'm in.
10:14Oh, okay, I'll give them to you.
10:15Really?
10:16Yeah.
10:17Oh, thank you.
10:18Was that a fail?
10:21Thanks, Lisa.
10:22Goodbye.
10:23How would you like to proceed?
10:24Could you just turn away and maybe I'll make the keys appear?
10:26Okay.
10:27And we can pretend they weren't in my undies.
10:29That sounds good to me.
10:30Oh!
10:31Yeah, I found them.
10:32Oh, you found them.
10:33Oh, bro.
10:34What I like is Lisa McCune came in and you asked for the keys and she just said, here
10:47they are.
10:48So your reputation as Australia's sweetheart is intact.
10:52Is that what you worried about your image?
10:54No, I was hoping he'd put his hand down my top to get it.
10:57I was hoping he was going to say, get it off McCune, take the peel off the layers.
11:02That's the first time anyone has ever said that to Tom.
11:08Okay, so I just feel like he just politely asked for it, you just gave it up.
11:11Well, because he kind of was yelling at me like he wanted them back and I felt like
11:14he needed them for something so I thought I'll give him.
11:16That was not yelling.
11:18Really?
11:19We're all thinking the same thing though, aren't we?
11:21They're both disqualified because they left the van and the keys left the van with them.
11:25So it's over for both of them.
11:27It's over for both of them.
11:29No, no.
11:30So you couldn't leave the van for the first four minutes while you were hiding the keys.
11:33After that, the search began and I asked them to leave the vehicle.
11:36Alright, so, alright.
11:37Don't set the tone for being a snitchy little bitch from F1.
11:44Look at, look at Hughes, he's straight away day one.
11:47He's playing tennis and he's walking straight up to the umpire to have a chat.
11:55So Tommy, you were pretty vocal about making it clear that the keys weren't up your ass.
11:59Yes.
12:00But then you were making all kinds of noises like they were up your ass.
12:03Yeah.
12:04I don't know if you've ever had keys right near your ass and then you've moved around
12:08a lot on a seat, but the wrong movement can end up with when they weren't up your ass
12:14being up your ass pretty quick.
12:16You know what I enjoyed?
12:17You knew that they'd been like pretty much rested against his ball bag and you're like,
12:21no worries buddy.
12:22What's that about?
12:23A job's a job.
12:24So what times are we looking at so far?
12:27Well, using my skills of deduction and personality profiling, I found Tommy's keys in 4 minutes
12:32and 34 seconds.
12:34Using my skills of asking for the keys, I found Lisa's in 1 minute and 26 seconds.
12:40Alright.
12:41We need a break.
12:42Just enough time to hide some keys down your trousers and get your significant other to
12:47reach in and fish them out again.
12:48Back soon.
12:54Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
13:04It's a new season and our first episode, or ep as they like to call it in the biz.
13:10Yes, and we've already lost the van keys.
13:12Thankfully, they were lost by people very happy to tell me where they were.
13:16Up next, they already amused me, but can they elude me?
13:19It's Waka and Emma.
13:20Alright, so I'm gonna hide the key, and Tom's gonna look for...
13:26What?
13:27This is a dang key, and there's so many fake ones here.
13:35I could just chuck them, hey.
13:41I was just trying to trust my arm.
13:43No!
13:44No!
13:45No!
13:46Alright.
13:47Oh, God!
13:48What the hell?
13:49Where did she come from?
13:50Where's the key?
13:51I don't know.
13:52Where's the key?
13:53In the van.
13:54In the van?
13:55In the van.
13:56Does that mean it's not in the van?
13:57Did you throw it out of the car?
13:58No.
13:59No.
14:00No.
14:01No.
14:02Where's the key?
14:03I don't know.
14:04Where's the key?
14:05In the van.
14:06In the van?
14:07In the van.
14:08Does that mean it's not in the van?
14:09Did you throw it out of the car?
14:10No.
14:11Nah, it's not doing tasks.
14:21I love it.
14:22I love watching someone doing tasks.
14:31I don't know why I feel bad now.
14:33You've left quite a few decoys.
14:35Don't get grumpy.
14:36It's nice to see you a bit distressed, I'm going to be honest.
14:39Are you actually, I can't tell, are you trying to look?
14:41Am I trying to look?
14:42Are you like genuinely trying to look?
14:43Yes, I'm genuinely trying to look.
14:44Okay.
14:45When did the rest of me you lost something?
14:47I'm usually pretty good at not losing things.
14:49Yeah, that's why you're not good at looking for...
14:53If it helps build my case, I think at this point I don't know where the key is.
14:57But why has that point changed?
14:58You're overthinking things.
14:59You've got to relax, man.
15:01You just said a very confusing thing.
15:03You say confusing things all the time.
15:04You can't say confusing things and then get mad at me for being confused.
15:07All the information you need is in the task.
15:11Did you find it?
15:12Yeah.
15:13Ready?
15:14I found it.
15:15I don't think so.
15:16The fact you might have believed me means it's near here.
15:20I love this task.
15:21Can you just tell me where it is?
15:23I reckon I'm going to go back to the house.
15:25You're done.
15:26Yeah, I think I'm done.
15:27Oh, shit.
15:28Is it in here?
15:29You still looking?
15:30Yeah.
15:31Yeah.
15:32Any last hints?
15:33What?
15:34Please give me a hint.
15:35No.
15:36So Waka you found a pretty good hiding spot there.
15:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:38And I feel so bad.
15:39The longer it takes time, the more my heart hurts.
15:41Oh.
15:42My heart hurts.
15:43Oh.
15:44Oh.
15:45Oh.
15:46Oh.
15:47Oh.
15:48Oh.
15:49Oh.
15:50Oh.
15:51Oh.
15:52Oh.
15:53Oh.
15:54Oh.
15:55Oh.
15:56Oh.
15:57Oh.
15:58Oh.
15:59Oh.
16:00Oh.
16:01Oh.
16:02I feel so bad.
16:07The longer it takes time, the more my heart hurts.
16:08Oh.
16:09That's weird, cause watching it, I felt the exact opposite.
16:12The longer he took to fight it, the more I was just really relaxing and enjoy myself.
16:17All right.
16:18Emma, we got to see you go from loser to hero very quickly.
16:21Did you see the first time I tried to kick it and missed it?
16:24Yeah.
16:25What I liked was the crossed arms nonchalance of it all.
16:28I started to get really cocky, like it wasn't good for me.
16:31good for me it wasn't healthy oh we saw it yeah yeah the power went to your head very quickly
16:35yeah and it remains how are we going to judge this then the time for waka will be pretty clear
16:42waka lost the keys for 10 minutes and 38 seconds more than doubling tommy's ass-based efforts
16:51but then emma well you only just now found out where it was i still don't have the gate
16:56so for the whole time that emma was in the house doing other tasks you were still looking for those
17:02keys i went multiple times a day back to the van to look in the van for the key there is nothing
17:07i love more in this world than wasting a man's time what time are we looking at emma lost the keys at
17:1810 11 a.m on the 26th of june 2024 that was 82 days six hours and 33 minutes ago
17:29okay who's left well hughesie is known for losing it but can it be car keys it's dave hughes all right
17:37i need to lose these keys i can't leave the van can i move the van
17:40i can move the van all right i have not driven manual for quite a while
17:53Tommy i'm not getting out of the van man a man with a plan and a van this time the plan involves the
18:02van living here we go we're out here sorry Tommy we're gone
18:18so hughesie you found a bit of a hack there i know i think my season just peaked
18:30but that was wonderful honestly i felt like i almost drove home
18:35some of our younger viewers i think putting keys up your ass would be easier than driving a manual
18:41i can't believe no one else thought of that though so yeah i was the same with the ass thing
18:48did you get the keys back he brought the van back at the end of his shooting days and gave me the
18:53keys then so the whole time he was in the taskmaster retreat there was no van yep when emma did her
19:00throw i just leaned over and said that's pathetic i didn't know what was coming up so i can't if i
19:07haven't won this challenge i'm really gonna be sad well you didn't that's pathetic
19:18i was without dave's keys for four days two hours and 48 minutes ah i shouldn't have driven it back i
19:29should have sold them by day so that means lisa's giving up strategy gets her one point tommy gets
19:33two waka three day four but emma takes the task with five points i'll also give you some episode
19:41scores with three points each we've got lisa and tommy trailing the pack but out in front it's emma
19:46holland on nine points okay what's next this one goes out to all the phils and angies out there it's about phalanges
20:00so tommy
20:08tommy
20:10ah
20:12hand well most of one
20:19this is very relevant for this task
20:22choose a finger and create an ad for it your finger must be chosen from one of the remaining
20:27fingers on this hand for the purposes of this task the thumb is a finger add that proves your
20:35chosen finger is the best finger wins you have 45 minutes your time starts now do you have a
20:41favorite finger i mean they're all quite handy i just want to do the middle one but the only reason
20:45i don't want to do it is because everybody thinks i'll do the middle one and they're right i'm gonna go
20:51with the thumb i'm gonna choose the pinky finger i think i'm gonna go the pointer it's the ring finger
20:57why have you all left the best to last we might have to cast a finger pinky finger is the weakest
21:05finger but very important make promise now look at this finger this is a lovely lean long finger
21:12this finger is the only one that can cause the death of roman gladiators a little bit of a come
21:16here tiger one again nice i love an infomercial i love a call to action ring for the ring finger
21:23that's good i need a telephone might just get another male one if we could
21:29jesus
21:34so someone got the choice of all five and then someone had the choice of four three two one
21:39until we got to hughesie you you had no choice i had no choice which is often better when you say
21:44often better have you been in a situation like this before in life no choice then you just got
21:50to do it so yeah choices are complicated because they involve choosing okay i suppose we just need
21:58to see some finger ads then who's first first up pulling the trigger on the trigger finger it's lisa
22:03mccune points away you make my day because baby you're my number one hi i'm lisa mccune and we are here
22:13to celebrate digital health and to highlight just how important your point of finger really is so just
22:22think for a moment about the many ways you use your point of finger every day how much easier is it to
22:30use your point of finger when operating your touch screen hitchhiking when the car breaks down beckoning
22:36that special someone showing someone the way diving deep to clear that pesky earwax or crusted over
22:44nasal mucus it really is the easiest way to scratch your head or even your ass because baby you're my
22:52number one spoken by l mccune for digital health australia canberra
22:57so lisa you would have done a lot of ads across your career i'm guessing so what's the secret and
23:07why didn't you use it here i actually thought that my belief in the point of finger was really strong i
23:14think i made a really good point there i'm happy with the way that it came up bit concerned about a
23:18few details how do you hitchhike is that that's for like if you need to be picked up and that's for a cab
23:26well see you've been in showbiz so long that when everyone else was backpacking you were probably
23:31saying to your chauffeur over here so you probably haven't hitchhiked how did you get a finger model
23:40like you weren't like i auditioned i asked so you forced someone else to put their finger up their ass
23:44yeah to be fair to lisa that that particular member of the crew volunteered
23:50all right at break time i'm going to spend it peer pressuring some of the younger
23:53cars to pull my finger because it's just good fun
24:08hello welcome back to taskmaster it's our season premiere where we're taking ad breaks from ad breaks
24:15that's right our contestants are making ads for fingers so far we've seen leases and it was a bit
24:19gross next up let's hope her thumb ad is more agreeable than opposable it's emma holland
24:27are you a coliseum spectator tired of not being able to convey to your local roman senator whether
24:31you want a gladiator to live or die are you a roman senator who is tired of not being able to
24:36understand the gestures of your citizens if only there was a finger that was bold opposable and easy to
24:42comprehend introducing the thumb with its very own ligament the thumb is able to be used to
24:49communicate all kinds of desires for your favorite gladiators fate the thumb can go up for live down
24:54for die or sideways for centrism the correct political view don't be a russell crow be a russell
25:01no the thumb additional movements sold separately
25:08i thought that was great short to the point great we can move on yeah maybe because you're
25:13one of the younger cast members you're good at making short shareable content for online i i don't
25:18think i'd share that all right so i thought it was very good but unfortunately in roman times i think
25:25thumbs down meant thumbs up and thumbs up meant thumbs down i think a lot of people believe that
25:29yes oh i wasn't alive then i wouldn't know all right who's giving us a good fingering next then
25:37it's pinky and the brain in that he used his brain to make an ad for a pinky it's takashi wakasugi
25:43i'm a pinky finger i'm the weakest and the most useless finger i cannot help people
25:51what tom help tom tom i cannot be cool
26:06no i'm always dirty
26:12i always get hurt
26:14what a cute dog what's your name
26:20but i can make promise promise is very important let's make more promise
26:38it's quite a journey waka that you took us on so do you think it's cool to shoot endangered wildlife
26:43just to be clear i think so
26:49were you aiming the gun at the shoulder
26:54shoulder yes not neck all right and also one thing i did really respect that you did in your
26:59ad which i quite enjoyed was you picked your nose and then straight after that put it in the dog's
27:03mouth i think we all enjoyed that i'm now trying to think which scene we shot first
27:10i like to think one led straight into the other all right who's next he chose the ring finger but it's
27:17my time to propose that we watch dave hughes it's dave hughes hi viewers have i got a bargain for you
27:25the ring finger i have one left phones are here and they are ready are you sick of rolling the dice you are
27:35ring now see the shaka you know why these fingers are down because they're being protected it's the last
27:43one do you know what they say they save the best to last are you drunk get on the phone and we will
27:50dial up the savings we are running out of time now got a ring now it'll be gone before you know it's
27:58gone are our phones working time for you you paid the bill ring for the ring finger
28:07hello yeah you can have it sold it god you were too late sorry
28:13but so you're advertising the ring finger and then at the very end you you picked up the phone
28:21and you said yeah you can have it and you sold it so then why would anyone ring at all uh
28:28yeah i don't know now what you know what i've understood here just so far in this show that yeah
28:34it's a stiff competition some of some of these guys have got really good ideas and i
28:40i'm feeling under pressure you know something else i noticed i mean i think it was a very effective
28:47ad thank you but you spent the whole time trying to sell a ring finger by pointing yeah i think you
28:51were helping out lisa yeah look i didn't know that lisa was going for the pointer finger but um
28:55i'm happy that she gets a leg up because she needs it uh you don't need to be mean no i was i was
29:02not an 80. here he is captain snitchy period i mean you were pointing so often i thought you were hitchhiking
29:10yeah dave used his index finger 17 times
29:18all right add time take us to the break salesman hughesie ring now
29:32hello welcome back lisa tom why has everyone in the audience been locking pinkies giving the
29:42thumbs up and asking if hughesie's all right because we've been doing a task about fingers
29:46and hughesie doesn't seem all right last to compete with his predictable choice of the rude finger it's
29:51tommy little g'day my name's malcolm ten years ago my discus got stuck in the lawn mower
29:58and i reached in with both my middle fingers to get it out and now i ain't got none and you might
30:06think has that affected your life yeah yeah it has the other day i was driving in traffic and a boat
30:12cut me off and i said watch where you going and he just thought i was enthusiastically suggesting he
30:19turned right the other night i was with me mrs karen we're lying in bed we've been together for 20
30:25years and she dutch ovened me and i said oh you cheeky little thing it was almost completely lost on her
30:36i was at the sport watching me a favorite football team and the ref made a horrible decision oh and i
30:43said are you all right maggot he thought i was being encouraged it's one of the most common ways to
30:50lose your fingers in the lawn mower the next time your discus is stuck just leave it yeah or otherwise
30:58you'll be stuck with no medals like me
31:16i'll be honest tom i didn't remember doing that and um and i thought maybe that was just because i
31:21drank too much but no i blocked that out of my memory and i have no idea where that accent goes
31:28off where where were you from i don't know so you reached in under a lawn mower to get a discus
31:37tom what don't you understand well i'm sort of did you mean a disc because under a lawn mower there's
31:43a disc that has blades on it again i'm not sure of the initial concept of the idea but it appears
31:47like i'm talking for one you throw in the olympics what's under a lawn mower that would have been one
31:51of those spiral things and it would have made don't tell me what my skit was
31:58i think i have to give away some scores yeah and and giving away the least um amount of scores is
32:10pretty easy so tommy's on one okay well don't don't worry i'm not happy about it either
32:17and uh hughesie gets two yeah happy with that then i'm going to give three points to waka it was it
32:26was a beautiful story uh i'm going to give four points to lisa mccune because i'll buy anything
32:29that she's selling because she's just so lovable uh and five points to emma because it was a i mean
32:35it was just a really good ad i love that
32:37all right shall we wait in for one more i think we shall we're off to the dock for this one for
32:45our first team task of the season
32:51oh hello thomas how are you i'm okay how are you i'm great i like your umbrella i like yours
33:09am i going to get wet i think there's a non-zero chance that you get wet
33:12oh hey is that tommy em is that you yeah hi hello how are you what are you doing just hanging
33:24out with tom making good conversation that sounds like a lie oh my god dave make one of your red
33:31things touch one of your that's dave hello dave hughes oh lisa how are you my god how are you
33:42i'm great what are you doing over there it's it's hard for your words to get through the rain
33:49yep hello this is what i haven't seen you for exactly like that i have no idea what he's saying
33:56oh my god it's waka hey waka hey waka how are you i'm good how are you very good why'd they have
34:07to put me with tom yeah i don't know i feel like he requested it do i read this out
34:12now i think he's plowing on with the task without you yeah it's one of your red things touch one of
34:17your teammates green things make one of your red things one of your green things to one of your
34:23yellow things touch one of your teammates green or yellow things you must remain within your designated
34:30zones also every 30 seconds you must wave to your teammates and introduce yourself again fastest wins
34:38you have 45 minutes your time starts now let's do it
34:49um now just to be clear did both teams have to introduce themselves every 30 seconds no only the
34:53team of three right and that was just because there's three of them they got an advantage and
34:58we needed something just to even up the and it's funny okay make a green thing touch your red thing
35:06or your yellow thing sounds like a wiggles after party who we're seeing first call them romance novels
35:13because they need to be touching quickly it's waka emma and tommy hey waka yes it's me tommy hey
35:19hey good they don't hi tommy i'm emma hi welcome i'm mark up tommy emma i am by any chance have you
35:25got frisbees yep um do you want to go three way in the middle i can't tell you how bad at throwing i
35:31am you ready yeah i'm tommy by the way i'm emma okay let's do it one two three frisbee oh my gosh
35:42you guys are i told you as soon as we started that i couldn't throw
35:47i'm tommy by the way i'm emma nice to meet you i'm emma i'm tommy i'm waka sorry i'm waka hi tommy
35:54waka what are you thinking can you please throw something big i play baseball before so i think
36:00i can hit oh well that's all right waka what do you reckon my god let's finish task come on waka
36:09emma my name is waka ah i reckon we use the duct tape
36:17to tape them like this and then they'll we can just like push them across the top of the lake
36:22emma yeah i'm tommy oh i'm emma nice to meet you how'd you know my name i hadn't introduced myself
36:26yet i'm emma i'm not emma sorry do you want to noodle it out and i'll see if i can fish yeah
36:33oh that's close to me though that was a great idea tom i'm up to do more great waka you just
36:41keep throwing bro oh no i reckon i'm gonna get it oi fellas i reckon i might touch the ball em em
36:52em come on yeah i think that's tough yeah
36:59i'm emma by the way i'm tommy nice to meet you guys how do you feel
37:06huh like closer together but also very far apart
37:13so tommy despite emma introducing yourself as emma over and over and over again you kept calling her em
37:19what's that about oh when you're friendly with someone you won't be familiar with this um
37:26sometimes you shorten the name a little bit but emma had just introduced herself is it
37:30you're getting friendly very quickly no i i i was into it
37:39now waka was it wise to try to kick a soccer ball with a gum boot on yep
37:43that was also very sleepy do you remember that was after the rain so it's a
37:47i try but can i can i just say waka just complained about the conditions being wet
37:52did you see what we had to deal with waka come on usey's walk straight back up to the umpire's chair
38:00it was wetter at my end of the court look how wet it is up here all right no team names coming to me
38:07just yet i don't know i enjoyed that but i didn't nothing really stuck out at me do you want to know
38:12how long they took not really no i think we should for the conceit of the show okay so tommy and emma
38:18worked together as teammates while waka kept thinking he was one of his teammates for nine
38:23minutes and 40 seconds
38:30all right so we're one part closer to finding out who's getting to take
38:33an uber home with hughesie's dead dog rattling around on their knee back soon
38:51hello welcome back we're in the middle of our first team task and there's exercise balls there's
38:56noodles and all sorts of bonkers fun because we're crazy like that that's right our teams are at the
39:02dock trying to get some of those things to touch so far we've seen a team of tommy waka and emma
39:07next up they may be older but can they get golder it's lisa and dave kate dave
39:12yeah thread the rope through the noodle i was thinking we could just throw both balls in the
39:17water and hope they meet do you want to try that first all right this is to win the world cup
39:24for australia the matildas let's go just channel sam carl or mary fowler
39:33that was pretty good and that is coming this way do you want this one too all right go on two
39:41they're going away i need to kick it now i think
39:43my god now where do i kick you've given me too many options
39:49shit it's too lump what am i doing where am i kicking
39:53oh my god i saved it come on dave go oh my god that was such a shit kick oh my god
40:15i've i'm not i'm not thinking straight i'm having a shocker do you have anything else to throw no i've
40:20thrown everything but i'm gonna make one gigantic long noodle dave this is gonna work i can feel it
40:26it's just time consuming so you need to throw your boy out are you gonna attach the boy to the front
40:32of it don't throw me out i don't know what is this is there a drone i'm just gonna do it while he's not
40:39looking shit i feel like i've got a controller here for something i'm giving you options
40:46oh but if i've got a drone oh my god it's not moving okay dave start chucking shit at it go
40:56come on come on come on come on come on get it over there lisa get that noodle to it you can do
41:07this oh my god you go girl come on you good thing hey kick your soccer ball i'm gonna run up go dave
41:17australia up one nil there's a minute to go i've got it i'm the goalkeeper i've got to get the ball
41:22out of our area back to the other end come on yes we did it dave hughes you're a legend we did it you
41:35did it it's the a team the a team don't get too cocky get that in your face you other teams
41:42or one other team he's getting cocky don't get cocky yeah yeah yeah i think he's getting over
41:47excited we did it oh my god so you'd like to be called the a team i just thought we did a great
41:59job uh yeah and my first kick was terrible as we all laughed at it what about my second kick
42:04it was incredible it was a winning kick it was a winning kick it was a great kick but also it was a
42:08time task so how long it took was important you decide to commentate on your kick so you stood back
42:13there and it was a great kick but it would have been even better without the yap yap yeah but for me
42:19time stood still uh and it was just wonderful it was so wet and was that a remote control boat yes so
42:26what happened was you found the remote control to a remote control boat that lisa just off into the water
42:33off did we have that as well yeah yeah you also had the same thing but in your case
42:39the boat landed upside down but if it had landed the other way you fiddling with the controls would
42:45have made it take it would have made it work yeah but we weren't aware that the boat was connected to
42:48the controls at any point so that was i i don't know why you're explaining that to people watching
42:54that was very clear to everyone who's watching at home yeah okay well i'm pretty happy with team names
42:59that uh hughesie came up with there so it's like the a team which i think is great i mean you said
43:02you're the a team you are the a team that makes you the b team but a in this uh case stands for aged
43:09because you're a bit older and with the other team uh b stands for better so it's the aged team
43:16and the better team will be the names for the whole series thanks so much for helping me out with uh
43:21thinking up a name hughesie i really appreciate it no i will cop aged i cop it every day no doubt but
43:26lisa mccune hasn't aged a day since 1997 mate so sorry about that thanks so well i think we need
43:36to know how long did they both take the b team touched two things together in nine minutes and 40
43:40seconds dave and lisa the a team took 23 minutes and seven seconds i thought we did okay
43:48it's okay so it's up to you how to apportion the school well i feel like the better team gave the
43:53age team a bit of a flogging so i think i'm going to make it 555 22. okay and in terms of episode
44:01scores there's four people with scores but almost none of that really matters because charging away
44:05with it is emma on nearly the maximum possible 19 points okay please make your way to the stage for
44:14the final task of the show all right kiddo who's going to read the task to me little
44:27hang the hangers on your rack before you toss a hanger you must be wearing its t-shirt in the
44:32traditional way you must remain on your mat and your mat cannot move for every hanger that misses you
44:38must give a compliment to the person next to you about their outfit most hangers hung wins you have 180
44:46seconds are we ready to go yeah yeah
44:49seconds are we ready to go here we go here we go
44:56here we go
45:02oh you i love you
45:03oh
45:09that's a beautiful shirt
45:18you i love your
45:21i love everything
45:21Lisa compliment
45:22Dave you're braiding green thank you
45:25yeah
45:27come on come on
45:30here we go
45:33you look fetching in orange thank you
45:39oh my what one minute left
45:41oh
45:46yeah
45:51that is so clever i'm going to do that
45:54yeah
46:00i can't win
46:09i fell so awesome
46:11oh
46:21oh
46:23oh
46:30all right we've got to come back after the break and find out who wins the concept of maths
46:35see you after the break
46:46hello welcome back to taskmaster the t-shirts have not been hung and we're hanging on to find out who's
46:56going to win the episode okay sweet curly-haired boy give us some scores
47:01well we had what is an arguably a tie i would say contrary to what hughesie was saying there was
47:05nothing in the rules uh against sabotage um it's up to you how much we're giving all of our
47:10contestants well i don't feel like they equally came first i feel like they equally came last so i
47:14think everyone gets zero okay
47:21i'm allowed to say that's disappointing aren't i yeah yeah add someone on the show for you it's
47:25disappointing but for viewers at home it's deeply satisfying
47:29some of them will be unhappy you'll get emails
47:33now you've got to go make up an email address
47:35there'll be no emails and who does this mean won our first episode 16 points puts waka in
47:43second meaning our winner with 19 points is emma holland
47:46all right congratulations emma get up there and claim your misunderstood things
47:55well there we go what have we learned well we learned that no matter what it is or where it's
47:59been it's probably been up tommy's ass we learned that dave hughes has a dead dog and a propensity for
48:05snitching and those things might be connected and most of all we've learned that emma is the winner good night
48:29thank you
48:33how are we going baby cakes we're going pretty well papa strudel
48:37yes thomas competing for the taskmaster trophy are five comedians sorry four comedians and
48:43lisa mccune oh my gosh sorry three comedians and tommy little and lisa mccune sorry sorry
48:50i'll start again competing are five humans sorry four humans and dave hughes wait up
48:55you really are lesser in every way aren't you oh no i might have a breakdown it was almost
49:02probably the best task ever in the history of the show sorry because i tuned out a bit in the middle
49:09you dickheads yes thanks babe
49:12tell me back up come on so i shouldn't use logic i should just go on how i feel absolutely the way women
49:18do