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Taskmaster (AU) Season 4 Episode 4
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Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Stop!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22Ah! No!
00:24I hate you.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:40Hello, it's Cast Master time.
00:42Tell your mum to come in from the shed
00:44and your dad to put some lippy on.
00:46Because it's 2025, you idiots.
00:48Your mums can be into woodworking
00:50and your dads are meant to look pretty.
00:52This is the show where five contestants
00:54duck and weave through my devious demands
00:56to win an item that's the source
00:58of the dandruff used to make gold flake
01:00vodka. It's the Task Master
01:02Trophy.
01:06Those contestants are
01:08Dave Hughes,
01:10Emma Holland,
01:12Lisa McKeown,
01:14Takashi Wakasugi,
01:18and Tommy Little.
01:20Hello!
01:22And beside me, the guy who
01:24once said he'd love to see
01:26an all-female remake of Gallipoli.
01:28It's Tom Cashman.
01:32How's it going, Lesser Tom?
01:34I'm okay.
01:36It's tough for me at night, you know,
01:38because I'm a muso.
01:40Oh, right.
01:42It should be easy for you.
01:44Musicians love the nightlife.
01:46Out at night. Aren't you a night owl?
01:48Oh, sorry.
01:50I've been using it wrong.
01:52I thought muso referred to someone
01:54actually.
01:56I've been telling everyone
01:58I'm a muso.
02:04Yes, that's the end of it.
02:10Alright, let's kick things off.
02:12A prize task please, Lesser Tom.
02:14Of course. Tonight our prize task is
02:16the thing most worthy of being hidden
02:18when visitors come around.
02:20Oooh.
02:22You've got visitors at your house.
02:24What are you ashamed of?
02:26Lisa?
02:28I'm gonna sound like a really bad mother,
02:30but it is my son's bedroom.
02:34Like I actually have started
02:36sneaking in sometimes
02:38to take some of the washing out
02:40to get some of it done
02:42because it just piles up so badly.
02:44And now he's gonna know because he likes watching this show.
02:46How old is he?
02:48He'll be 21 soon.
02:50Okay.
02:52So Waka, you've got visitors.
02:53What are you ashamed of?
02:54I think
02:56Air Fryer.
02:58I just don't like
03:00the conversation.
03:02Why?
03:03If someone came,
03:04find Air Fryer,
03:05oh,
03:06they start talking about Air Fryer.
03:08Where did you get?
03:09How big this?
03:10Oh, yeah, yeah.
03:11It's very boring.
03:13So you don't like the chat that it generates
03:15and then you brought it in this show
03:17for the part of the show
03:18where we normally chat about a thing.
03:20You're annoying yourself now.
03:22Don, Don.
03:23Can we talk about,
03:24I love Air Fryers.
03:25Can we talk about?
03:26Seriously.
03:27Air Fryer changed my life.
03:29Honestly, you slice a potato.
03:31This is great.
03:32Slice a potato.
03:33Tell him more.
03:34A little bit of salt,
03:35a little bit of olive oil.
03:36This is what I'm talking about.
03:38I know.
03:39I hate the conversation.
03:41Even better, Hughesy.
03:42Hey, if you are watching this show
03:43and you're a big fan of Taskmaster
03:44and you see Wucker in the street,
03:46ask him about his Air Fryer.
03:48He would love it.
03:49Nah.
03:50Stop it.
03:53Alright, Tommy,
03:54what are you ashamed of?
03:56Well, mine will sound good
03:57until you see it.
03:59Years ago, I did a sketch
04:01for a dear friend and comedian
04:03and from this show, Luke McGregor.
04:05And it's a framed picture of all of us.
04:07Um, but have a look.
04:18Now, the reason I don't like having it out
04:20is obvious because it starts a conversation.
04:23And for the record,
04:25Hughesy's is the only one that's accurate.
04:28Now, can I say,
04:30and Luke did a great job with that show
04:31because it gets played in schools
04:33and it's been played in my own children's schools
04:36and they say,
04:37is that your dad?
04:41It is crazy to label the one man of colour
04:44in that photo as other.
04:53Alright, Emma, what are you ashamed of?
04:55Uh, it's my full scale model skeleton.
04:58Oh.
05:01Uh, he sits in my house
05:02and the only place he fits is this chair
05:04at the end of my bed.
05:06Um...
05:08I love his little cock chair.
05:09I think it's really cute.
05:11Uh, and also, when we have guests over,
05:12particularly, like, my husband's parents,
05:14when they come over,
05:15we don't want them to see a full-scale skeleton
05:17because it'll scare them,
05:18so I put him in my car
05:19because there's no other place for him.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:21What message are you sending by doing that?
05:23It's like that you...
05:24Uh, I am unwell.
05:25Yeah.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27OK, so, Dave.
05:28Yes.
05:29It's a pillow,
05:30which is a weird thing to hide
05:31because you shouldn't be ashamed of a pillow,
05:33should you?
05:34Um...
05:35So...
05:36LAUGHTER
05:37So that's, um...
05:39It doesn't look like a pillow.
05:40It looks like you're getting a massage.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42It does.
05:46It makes me feel a bit egocentric
05:49to have it on display when visitors come over, so...
05:52You find that egocentric?
05:53Yeah, I'm...
05:54Yeah.
05:55Husey, for those who don't know,
05:56when we're in a foreign city
05:57and we're walking at night together,
05:59he refuses to walk with us
06:01because if someone asks us for a photo
06:03and not him, he gets offended.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:07And so...
06:08No, I...
06:09I don't get offended, I get sad.
06:11So...
06:12Which is different, so...
06:13And you're all very well known in your own rights
06:15and deserve recognition,
06:17but just...
06:18I don't want it around me.
06:19Uh...
06:20So, yeah.
06:21So, but anyway.
06:22I'm sick of people wanting to, uh, draw,
06:24paint me for the Archie board, alright?
06:26So...
06:27LAUGHTER
06:28This is all...
06:29Stop it!
06:30This is all great relatable stuff.
06:31No, because they pay you for the Archie board,
06:33you don't win,
06:34they don't even get in the final and then...
06:35I know.
06:36They put the painting up on eBay
06:38and I have to buy it.
06:39I know.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:42How many?
06:43How many do you have?
06:44I've got about three at home.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:46APPLAUSE
06:48APPLAUSE
06:50LAUGHTER
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52I've got to allocate some points here.
06:53As always, it's pretty challenging.
06:55Yeah?
06:56I'm going to give one point to Waka.
06:57OK.
06:58And I do encourage anyone who does run into Waka,
06:59have a chat about it.
07:00It's a great chat.
07:01No need to be ashamed of it.
07:03Chat about it.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:05Don't talk to me.
07:06I'm not air private.
07:07Anyway.
07:08Tommy Little, you get two points
07:09because you had HIV
07:10and you're referring to that as a negative
07:12and some people live with it.
07:13No, no, I'm referring to it.
07:14And it's nothing to be ashamed of.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16And I'd hate for anyone at home
07:17to feel terrible
07:18because of Tommy Little's
07:20poorly thought through comedy.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:23APPLAUSE
07:24I'm going to give three points to Emma
07:26because I feel like a skeleton.
07:27It's not that embarrassing.
07:29Four points to Lisa
07:30because I could smell the photo.
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34But five points is going to go to Husey
07:36because, ugh, that pillow's disgusting.
07:38LAUGHTER
07:39APPLAUSE
07:42APPLAUSE
07:43All right.
07:44So we know what they're playing for.
07:46How are they playing for it, Lester Tom?
07:48For this next task,
07:49my tunnel vision really came in handy.
07:51LAUGHTER
08:08Hi, Emma.
08:09Oh, my God.
08:10LAUGHTER
08:12Hi, Walker.
08:13Hello, Tom.
08:14Oh, hi, Tom.
08:16Do you want me to come and read it next to you
08:17so we can be together?
08:18Yeah, if you want, why not?
08:19OK.
08:20Ah!
08:21Oh, my God!
08:22Oh, my God!
08:23Oh, my God!
08:24Oh, she...
08:25Oh!
08:26Oh!
08:27They just work on the show.
08:31LAUGHTER
08:32Sneak the sticky-taped balloon
08:36along the tunnel to Tom.
08:38Ah.
08:39It's about the balloon that was back there.
08:41Yep.
08:42The lights will turn off for five seconds
08:45every eight seconds.
08:47If Tom sees the balloon
08:49when the lights are on,
08:50you must start again.
08:52Whenever the lights come on,
08:53you must wave at Tom with both hands.
08:56If the balloon pops,
08:57you will be disqualified.
08:59Fastest to get the balloon to Tom wins.
09:02Your time starts now.
09:06Oh, Phoebe.
09:07Five seconds for eight seconds.
09:08Hang on.
09:09Five seconds for eight seconds.
09:10Careful of the spooky people.
09:11Ah!
09:12APPLAUSE
09:18What happened, Tommy?
09:19Were you frightened to learn
09:20that there were other people working on the show?
09:23Embarrassingly, yes.
09:26OK.
09:27Who's down the shaft first?
09:28As the youngest contestants,
09:29they were probably mucking around with balloons
09:31most recently.
09:32It's Wakka and Emma.
09:33OK.
09:34Might as well just give it a go, hey?
09:39Hi, Tom.
09:41I can see the balloon.
09:42Please return to the start.
09:49Please wave, Emma.
09:50Hi, Tom.
09:52You're not really waving to me.
09:56Faster.
09:57Faster.
09:58Faster.
10:02Wait, wait, wait, wait.
10:03I can see the balloon.
10:04Yeah.
10:05This is hard.
10:09I saw the balloon.
10:10Alright.
10:12Hi, Tom.
10:13Hi, Emma.
10:16Yes.
10:17I got it.
10:19I can put...
10:24Actually, I can move here that time, actually.
10:28Hi, Tom.
10:29Hi, Tom.
10:30Hi, Tom.
10:31Hi, Tom.
10:32Hi, Tom.
10:33F***.
10:34He scared the s*** out of me.
10:39Two minutes and 20 seconds left.
10:43Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it.
10:50Oh, it's the task again.
10:53What?
10:56Touch the balloon.
10:59What?
11:00All the information you need is in the top.
11:01What?
11:02All the information you need is in the top.
11:08What is the way to reach Tom's win?
11:10Give me the bullet.
11:11Okay, okay.
11:13When you're done.
11:19Thanks, Waka.
11:21Bye, Tom.
11:22Bye, Emma.
11:24Oh, f*** me.
11:26Oh, my God.
11:27It happened again.
11:34So, Waka, what did you think the task was?
11:36You just had to run to the end, pretend you were pregnant and then rub your belly on...
11:41I thought it's finished.
11:42You know, I already arrived and then I say hello to Tom and I thought it's finished.
11:45So, you thought it's finished because you said hello, so then you desperately rubbed your tummy on him.
11:49I touched the thumb too.
11:50Shake your hands a bit.
11:52So, you took the plinth with you, Emma.
11:54How do you think that worked?
11:56It was pretty arduous on my big muscles.
11:59But I made it work.
12:00And so, before that you were trying something else, you were just trying to stash them behind those pillars.
12:05Yeah, but like, because of the nature of the balloon, it just kind of kept floating out.
12:09And so I didn't really...
12:10Right.
12:11Honestly, I felt like it was the only option for me, what I ended up doing.
12:14Emma's plinth shuffling took 10 minutes and 17 seconds.
12:17And Waka, even after doing 99% of the task and then starting again, took exactly 9 minutes.
12:22OK, Emma and Waka have done well and earned two minutes on their Game Boy Color.
12:31We'll have a little rest, a few cordials and see you after this.
12:48Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:49We've got balloons, we've got the dark.
12:52Come on in, little children.
12:54That's right, our contestants are trying to sneak a balloon down a tunnel.
12:56If I see the balloon while the lights are on, the contestants must go back to the start.
13:01Up next, our older contestants.
13:03Did they struggle in the tunnel because they kept reaching for the light at the end of it?
13:07It's Lisa and Dave.
13:12I saw the balloon.
13:14Oh, yeah, I know.
13:15I'm starting again, yeah?
13:17Yes.
13:19Ah!
13:24I know, you saw the balloon.
13:27I saw the balloon!
13:31Oh, shit.
13:32It didn't.
13:34Ah!
13:36Thanks, Lisa.
13:37It popped.
13:38Your time starts now.
13:39Thanks, Dave.
13:53Those rocks have not been eroded enough.
13:56Please walk back down the tunnel, Dave.
13:59It's not my finest moment!
14:00So, Dave, when the task is to not pop the balloon, that's key, why did you think putting it against a wall of sharp rocks would help?
14:14Balloons are stronger in my day.
14:15Balloons are stronger in my day.
14:18And, yeah.
14:19So, for me, it was the last task of the day and it was beer o'clock earlier than they thought it was going to be.
14:25Lisa.
14:26Lisa, I think I'm glad yours popped because you didn't seem to be very good at hiding the balloon.
14:31Look.
14:32It was poking out all over the place.
14:33I know.
14:34And, look, it does look worse.
14:35I took longer in between.
14:36It didn't happen that quickly but, basically, I was really shit at it.
14:40Well, I think I'm kind of relieved, actually, because they're both, you know, some of the oldest contestants on the show.
14:46And I just feel like if you did run further down the corridor and you discovered the crew that were working there...
14:54I'm just worried you could have had a heart scare.
14:57And, I mean, spare a thought for the crew as well, Tom, because, obviously, if Lisa comes down, the crew are going to scare Lisa.
15:02But, if Husey comes down, the crew are going to shit themselves.
15:06So, Lisa's balloon popped after two minutes and 35 seconds.
15:10I think Dave's effort, you could argue, what he did was indistinguishable from if the envelope had said,
15:15Pop the balloon.
15:17It popped after 24 seconds.
15:22You know, at least you offered us some brevity.
15:24Cashman, let's go.
15:25Like a helium balloon, the only way he knows how to have fun is to get really high.
15:29It's Tommy Little.
15:31Whenever the lights are on, you must flail both hands in the air and scream loudly.
15:37Your time starts now.
15:42Just making...
15:43Hello.
15:44Hello.
15:45Hi, Tommy.
15:46Hi, Tommy.
15:47Oh, my God.
15:48Don't pop.
15:49I saw the balloon.
15:50Please go back to the start.
15:51What the...
15:52What the...
15:53I saw the balloon.
15:54Please go back to the start.
15:55What the...
15:56It's dark.
15:57It's dark.
15:58It's dark.
15:59I saw the balloon. Please go back to the start
16:12It's dark. It's dark. Take the balloon. Take the balloon. You're savage.
16:30Thanks, Tommy. You can keep the lights on when I walk away.
16:33Exit's that way.
16:34But... you.
16:42Yeah, so, Tommy, we accidentally worded your task a bit differently.
16:47Fairly discernible, though.
16:49And so, ultimately, you just did Waka's trick.
16:52You just stuffed it up your shirt.
16:53Well, to be fair, I didn't know it was Waka's trick.
16:55So, according to me, it was my trick.
16:58Sorry, I'll pick that up. Waka did Tommy's trick.
17:02And we both didn't read a task in the end.
17:05Well, Tommy, he flailed only in the literal sense.
17:15He took just three minutes and 52 seconds.
17:18That means Dave and Lisa get zero points,
17:23Emma gets three, Waka gets four,
17:24but Tommy wins the task with five points.
17:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:29And in terms of scores for the overall episode,
17:31we've got Emma on six,
17:32but Tommy's in the lead with seven points.
17:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:36All right, let's move on from this unholy service shaft.
17:40I'm just getting word I've been granted three wishes.
17:43I wish for a new task.
17:44I wish for it to be entertaining.
17:46And my third wish is for everyone to know
17:48how thankful I am for those first two wishes.
18:06It's a long way.
18:07I should have taken the bike.
18:09I jog.
18:10Because I love tasks.
18:12With you.
18:13Just the usual?
18:14Flip a coin from the furthest distance
18:18into the wishing well.
18:20You must make a new wish with every flip.
18:23You have five minutes.
18:24Your time starts now.
18:25All right, it's easy one, simple one.
18:27World piece,
18:28because let's do a new world piece on an easy one.
18:31That's good.
18:32We're going well.
18:33Ten million bucks.
18:35I think the duck is laughing at your wish.
18:40I want to be cool.
18:42I wish it stopped looking at me like that.
18:46That's okay.
18:47I wish I had longer legs.
18:51I want to be popular.
18:54I wish I could see Coldplay live again.
18:58But my hair continues to be luscious.
19:02I got it.
19:03I want a helicopter.
19:05I want a plane.
19:06Oh, you mother.
19:09Did I get that one in?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Yay.
19:12There's hope for me yet.
19:14What's that?
19:22Make the wish from your last successful flip come true.
19:26Truest made.
19:27Wish wins.
19:28You have 30 minutes.
19:29Your time starts now.
19:30I don't even remember what the wish was.
19:32What was my last successful flip?
19:34What did I say?
19:35Do you remember what you all...
19:36Yes.
19:37We all remember what it was.
19:47So just to be clear, we want to see them make their last wish come true, but we haven't
19:52seen it yet.
19:53That's correct.
19:55We got an insight into how privileged Husey's life is.
19:57Most people just want their life to be better.
19:59Husey just wants to continue to have luscious hair.
20:04On the other hand, in Husey's defence, his first wish was world peace.
20:07Tommy's first wish was $10 million for himself.
20:09Okay, let's get this wish list cranking.
20:12First up, with the most Tommy Little wish imaginable, it's Tommy Little.
20:17What's the most cliche thing you think I would wish for?
20:19A bigger dick.
20:24Who cares about the rest of the task?
20:32How big is it at the moment?
20:34It's not big.
20:35That's actually good for this though.
20:37I can't just get an erection on.
20:42Heat might help.
20:44No, but even then, comparatively, it will make my balls appear bigger and my dick look
20:48even smaller.
20:50So you only ever measure the size of the penis relative to the balls?
20:54That's good.
20:56I don't know what's good about what I just said.
20:59I just thought I could make my balls smaller and so comparatively.
21:02If I put ice down my pants.
21:05Yes.
21:06And you scare me.
21:07Yep.
21:08Is that television?
21:09I think that's fun.
21:10How long we got?
21:1216 minutes and 20 seconds.
21:13Okay.
21:14I figured you could scare me as a clown.
21:15Okay.
21:16And remember somehow, this is to make my dick bigger.
21:19Okay, yep.
21:21Okay.
21:22Are you ready?
21:23Yep.
21:24Okay.
21:25Close your eyes.
21:26Oh my God!
21:27Ugh!
21:29Chuck, hurry up!
21:30Tommy, open your eyes in five seconds.
21:32Countdown.
21:33Five, four, three, two, one.
21:36Ah!
21:37Ah!
21:39Oh!
21:41Oh!
21:42Oh!
21:49How do you think you went?
21:50Not good.
22:00So Tommy, first of all, congratulations for being on brand.
22:04I'll have it known, getting an erection was the easy option and I chose not to take it.
22:08So you were wanting to create the illusion of largeness via making something else smaller?
22:16Yes.
22:17And hoping I wasn't secretly aroused by clowns.
22:20Okay, but was your wish that you wanted to make it seem bigger or that you wanted to make it bigger?
22:27Seem bigger?
22:29I think it was you wanted to make it bigger.
22:31Bigger.
22:32Yeah.
22:33So I think it would have been unchanged in length, perhaps even shrunk a bit just from the...
22:36It definitely would have shrunk.
22:38Did you see that tape measure?
22:39I was no way that big before.
22:42He has got us a little bit in that he's not allowed to measure it.
22:46Yeah.
22:47We kind of have to trust him to some degree for the measure.
22:48Yeah.
22:49I think Kashmir's right.
22:50You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one.
22:54Okay.
22:55They just told me we're going to take a break, but I think that's code for the show has been cancelled.
23:01Thanks to Tommy.
23:02Find out whether we're back or not soon.
23:19Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:20We're in the throes of a task and wishing for a good outcome, aren't we, Tom?
23:24That's right.
23:25Tommy was first and we all know what Tommy did.
23:30Next up, like a stingy genie, she'll only make one wish come true.
23:33It's Emma Holland.
23:35I wish I knew what it meant to love.
23:37Why did I say that?
23:40I'm going to try and develop a love friendship with you in the next 30...
23:4326 minutes and 38 seconds.
23:44Okay.
23:45What's your favourite childhood memory?
23:46The only thing that's coming to mind is me winning cross country.
23:49Okay.
23:50I feel like I could learn to love you if I saw you in a moment of pure joy.
23:55Okay.
23:56And I think a moment of pure joy would be you winning a race.
24:00Ready?
24:01Yeah.
24:02Set.
24:03Hey, I got you!
24:04Go!
24:17Come on, come on.
24:19Congratulations.
24:22Well done.
24:23Wow.
24:24Now I know what it means to love.
24:28I feel like that's what nerd love looks like.
24:31You look like you met at a flash mob.
24:34That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me.
24:38OK, so you wanted to know what it meant to love,
24:42and you're married.
24:46And I presume your husband's watching the show.
24:49Yeah. And so that's awkward.
24:51It's like, you know, I'm on the screen, I'm playing a character,
24:54you know, I'm not really me.
24:56Can we establish that you do love your husband?
24:59Oh, yeah, if you want to say that, sure, yeah.
25:02All right, Cashman, I wish for us to see another go.
25:06Will there be wishful thinkers or bashful stinkers?
25:08It's Waka and Lisa.
25:10I want a steak tonight.
25:12I wish that I could cook a souffle.
25:15Yes! Steak!
25:23Do you want to whisk the egg whites?
25:27I reckon you've probably got about ten minutes left of that,
25:29and then we'll be great.
25:30Ten minutes of this?
25:31Yep.
25:32So, 190 on the oven.
25:34Make a wish is great, but don't be too big.
25:38Small steps, small dream makes you happy.
25:41Does it say anything in there about what to do
25:43when your arm starts getting sore?
25:44Hey, and just keep going.
25:46You're building up muscle.
25:47Just don't worry about the pain.
25:48Beat the egg yolks well.
25:50Oh, sorry, it's these.
25:51You've got to beat them up those.
25:52It's all right.
25:53Just start on those.
25:54It'll be alright.
25:55It's good for you.
26:00I'm going to do a warm basin of warm water.
26:03Just chuck the eggs in there just to warm them.
26:05I can't find a sifter,
26:06and I'm just going to sift it through your hands.
26:08Hey, who does the dishes here?
26:10Um, me.
26:11Okay.
26:12Oh, my God.
26:13I accidentally poured water into the...
26:14Oh, my God!
26:18I'm going to do it again.
26:27Do you reckon I get a couple of minutes back
26:28for the moment that you put the water in my eggs?
26:32Unfortunately not.
26:33I'm sorry.
26:34It is just going to be a fast rise.
26:36I did everything perfect in this task.
26:48How do you feel?
26:50Deflated.
26:51Hope you eat steak tonight.
26:59Is this your philosophy in life, Wakka?
27:01Yeah, it looks good, right?
27:02Looks good.
27:03You know what?
27:04I didn't use air fryer.
27:12Better.
27:13Wakka got very lucky.
27:15If I could read out some other wishes you made.
27:17I want to be cool.
27:18I want to be tall.
27:19I want to win Taskmaster.
27:21I want to travel more.
27:22I want to buy a house.
27:23I want to live longer.
27:24I want to be a genius.
27:25And then,
27:26I want to eat a steak tonight.
27:27That goes in.
27:28So, Lisa, I haven't eaten too many souffles that are just watery eggs.
27:39Yeah.
27:40And look, I was hoping my experience would be a little more like your experience with your
27:44steak.
27:45But I think we had a few issues in the kitchen and it just, it turned to shit.
27:49And that's okay.
27:50And I would like to formally apologize.
27:52You did tell me to put the egg yolks down under the sink, but then I forgot about it and
27:56washed my hands.
27:57Do you know what?
27:58It was a mistake.
27:59And we make mistakes.
28:00And that's okay.
28:01That's alright.
28:02I really like you and I would love to cook more souffles with you one day.
28:05I really enjoyed your company in the kitchen.
28:08I can see like I fell in love in that moment.
28:11A little bit like, like you, you should have cooked with him because it was a moment.
28:15Yeah.
28:16I love Tom.
28:17Lisa's being very sweet.
28:20If I could just read out a few of your other wishes, which are very sweet.
28:23I wish that all these little ducks would start quacking.
28:26I really wish that Tom Gleeson was here.
28:30I wish to be on a mountain where it's snowing in a warm cabin.
28:33I wish for my children to stay at home forever.
28:35I do, I like doing their washing.
28:39Lisa failed with the souffle, did not achieve the wish, but it's kind of your fault, buddy.
28:45No, I'm happy to cop it, but I don't want him to take the blame for it.
28:48I'm happy to take one point.
28:50It was Tom's fault my dick didn't get bigger.
28:52Are you saying that your normal amount of horniness was reduced to a point where an erection
29:04didn't kick in, where if I wasn't there, it would have?
29:06Shut up, dick shrinker.
29:10Okay, let's souffle our way to the final attempt, Tom Cashman.
29:14Will he be wishing poorly or wishing well? It's Dave Hughes.
29:17Ah, my wife doesn't buy too many cats. God for that.
29:22I've got to ring my wife and convince her not to buy any more cats.
29:25I'll convince her by saying, honey, I got scratched by a cat.
29:28They think I might have a cat infection.
29:30If my cat infected blood gets infected by another cat, could be curtains for me.
29:35I've got feline aids.
29:37I feel like I need to send her a photo of a scratch.
29:41This is beautiful.
29:43I just got bitten by a stray cat.
29:47Now I don't feel great.
29:49Production's freaking out.
29:50I'm going to call it.
29:52Come on.
29:53Come on.
29:54You've got an anti-asms bleeding to death.
29:57All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
30:01I don't want to worry you, honey.
30:02I don't.
30:03I'm not here to worry you.
30:04But my arm's starting to blow up.
30:05I've got an issue.
30:06They said contact next of kin.
30:08I'm going to ring one more time.
30:09Just come on.
30:10And if that's it.
30:11Babe.
30:12I'm in class.
30:13Are you going to the doctors or hospital?
30:15I just saw your messages.
30:16I don't know.
30:17It's weird.
30:18I don't know.
30:19Obviously you wouldn't feel sick straight away from something like that.
30:21But I still think you should definitely go get it checked out.
30:23All right, all right, baby.
30:24All right.
30:25My husband got bitten by a diseased animal.
30:26So you're going to go to the doctors or the hospital?
30:28Yeah, they'll sort it out.
30:29I'll talk to you later.
30:31Everyone wants to hear how you're going to go.
30:32Yeah, I'll talk to you.
30:33All right, thank you.
30:34Sorry, sweetheart.
30:35Bye.
30:36Bye.
30:37I think I've done pretty well.
30:38She took it very seriously.
30:40Are you going to call her and clarify?
30:42Nah, she'd be wrong.
30:51You seem pretty happy just to let your wife worry from then on.
30:55Yeah.
30:56I didn't want any more cats, guys.
30:58I honestly didn't.
30:59We had one cat at the time, so I wanted to keep it that way.
31:02So your wish was to not have any more cats?
31:04Yeah.
31:05How many cats do you have now?
31:06I've got three now.
31:07So...
31:08So this is becoming rather easy to score, because I feel like straight away it's obvious
31:18that Husey's wish didn't come true.
31:20Okay.
31:21And also Tommy Little's wish didn't come true.
31:23Coulda, coulda, coulda.
31:25So I'm going to give them all one.
31:27Okay.
31:28Two points to Lisa, because it's your fault that the souffle failed.
31:31Emma Holland, it kind of came true, so I'll give her two points.
31:35Okay.
31:36But it definitely came true for Waka, so five points.
31:38Yes!
31:39So one, one, two, two, five for Waka.
31:44Okay.
31:45It's time to take the TV version of a sleep and go to a break.
31:48Have some little sweet dreams, and we'll see you in the morrow.
31:52Welcome back to Classmaster, where we just donated all the coins from our wishing well
32:11to Tom Cashman's charity of choice, Nerds Against Wedgies.
32:16This next one has smoke, so you know it's fire.
32:22Hey, matey boy.
32:35Hi Dave.
32:37I have no idea what's this.
32:39Is this a smoke machine?
32:40Yeah.
32:43As opposed to you.
32:45A smoke show.
32:49I find this space really creepy.
32:51Oh.
32:52I just wanted to tell you that.
32:53Unveil something unsophisticated with this smoke machine.
32:56You must emit smoke in 20 minutes.
32:58And your unveil begins when the smoke clears.
33:03Most unsophisticated unveiling wins.
33:06Your time starts now.
33:07Do you consider yourself to be a very sophisticated person?
33:10No.
33:12No.
33:13I try very hard not to be.
33:14What's the most sophisticated you've ever felt?
33:16I had my hair in a bum once.
33:19Yeah, that was a pretty good day.
33:20I'm trying really hard to think of something that just doesn't involve bums, farts, boobs, dicks.
33:27I think I'm going to build something really ugly.
33:29My rig's not in great shape.
33:31It's too sophisticated.
33:32But yours looks savage.
33:37I reckon you could be nude eating a kebab.
33:40And I'll be back.
33:41Well no, you'll be back.
33:42It'll come.
33:43I don't know.
33:44We'll find out.
33:45So Tommy, what about Lesser Tom's rig makes you think unsophisticated?
33:54A fair bit about it.
33:57We actually had quite an honest conversation.
34:00And Tom looked me in the eyes and he said,
34:02Out of the two of us, I have the comedy body.
34:05Okay.
34:06Well, who's smoking up first?
34:08Attempting to be unsophisticated, it's two of the most polite people I've ever met.
34:12Emma and Lisa.
34:13And Lisa.
34:43I have to leave.
34:44I'm so sorry.
34:45I just have to go.
34:46It is so bad.
34:47Voila.
34:48Do you like it?
34:49I'm really sorry.
34:50I'm sorry.
34:51I'm sorry to you, Tom.
34:52I'm sorry to Tom.
34:53I'm sorry I couldn't make it go any higher.
34:56This is a chicken.
34:57And he's using the cutler in the wrong hands and he's got a really big dong.
35:02And I reckon that's pretty unsophisticated.
35:03I was trying to make the taskmaster have an erection because I thought it was really unsophisticated.
35:10Thanks, Emma.
35:11Can I go?
35:12Thanks, Tom.
35:13Can I go now, please?
35:14I'm so embarrassed.
35:15I'm so embarrassed.
35:16I'm so embarrassed.
35:17I'm so embarrassed.
35:18Oh my God.
35:19The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa, brought a lot of pleasure to me.
35:20I'm so glad.
35:21I mean, I didn't want to be disrespectful.
35:22I was actually trying to make the taskmaster have an erection because I thought it was
35:23really unsophisticated.
35:25Thanks, Emma.
35:26Can I go?
35:27Thanks, Tom.
35:28Can I go now, please?
35:29I'm so embarrassed.
35:30I'm so embarrassed.
35:31Oh my God.
35:36The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa, brought a lot of pleasure to me.
35:45I'm so glad I mean I didn't want to be disrespectful to you and I didn't want to go that way
35:51I didn't want to go to the tommy little way I
35:54Think a lot of people would be offended by what you just said, but I don't want you to go my way either
36:00You're you're I mean I mean this with all my heart you're above it
36:05Emma, I feel like you buried the lead because you were worried about
36:11Your creation having cutlery the wrong hand
36:13Which is very unsophisticated, but I feel like it's trumped by having its cock out
36:21You know what I think it speaks for itself
36:25It was the last task of a really long day and I had lost my mind
36:31Okay, all right. Well onwards more next up being discourteous
36:34It's another one of the most polite people I've ever met and Dave Hughes. It's wakka and Dave Hughes
36:39The most unsophisticated thing in the world
36:46Salt
36:48I'm a fish
36:49I'm a fish, but I I don't like
36:53Being fish because fish is
36:56Unsophisticated some call it the essence of life
36:58Others call it things bogans put on food before they taste I hate being water
37:05I want to be on the ground and then play very sophisticated sports golf
37:10Golf is boring. I'm gonna back to the water
37:28I've done it. I do it. Thank you
37:45So I see what you're going for Hughes the idea of like putting salt on something seasoning food before trying it
37:50Yes, my wife gets angry at me for doing it. Okay, I really enjoy it. So you know what you got to die something. So let's go
37:59Now waka yes, what the was that?
38:04I just I've been
38:07I've been searching and looking and really polite to this point, but we're at episode four and I just got to be honest
38:13I don't know what the was going on good question. Yeah, so for us fish
38:20They had the technology and they'd have a language, you know fish is less than human, you know
38:25Oh, so in terms of evolution. Yeah, and also that I don't know. What's the call?
38:30A trike. I use that. Oh, yeah
38:33What that's an unsophisticated mode of transport compared to other you know cars or you know trains, you know, okay
38:40Good see, that's true
38:43See
38:44I'm not sure that's the laughter of agreement. I think that's the laughter of bamboozlement. I know
38:50All right time for an ad break. Why not do the sophisticated thing and just sit there watching them acknowledging the time and the effort that some
38:58Advertising schmuck put into trying to coax money from you back soon
39:02Welcome back to taskmaster where our female contestants have just debased themselves with jokes about dongs
39:22Yes, we're doing a task that asks for an unsophisticated unveiling with a smoke machine being unsophisticated should be a real stretch for him
39:29Last up. It's smoke show Tommy Little
39:31It's
39:47It's real good keep going
39:49That's probably enough. Yeah, okay. Thanks dog
40:11Okay, first question I have to ask is about your underpants were they medical
40:20Tommy wanted me to look nude and so dressed me in skin colored underpants so they could blur it but then just didn't blur it
40:28Sorry, to be clear. I didn't mean to stitch you up like that. I was as shocked as you at no blur
40:35It did make it look like you were just wearing a depends
40:40God okay, well, I have to score this
40:43No one ever thinks about what it's like to be a taskmaster when you have to deal with all this shit
40:47Okay, well, I feel like all the unveilings were kind of the same
40:52They were just a move from the smoke in pretty much the same way
40:54So it really just comes down to the sophistication. Okay, the most unsophisticated I think
40:59Well, I think it was you
41:02I mean you nude eating a kebab. I just don't want to see that ever again
41:06So I think it's five to Tommy Little
41:08Thank you
41:11And then starting at the other end out of all of them
41:13It's the most sophisticated and that's just watching hughsy eat some salt. Okay. Oh, that's a harsh
41:19I'm one am I? Yeah, you're one. Yeah, well, it's your show so whatever
41:26Okay, two for Waka, three for Emma and four for Lisa because they I feel like they had similar vibes there to unsophisticated reveals
41:32But I felt more men. My erection was better. I felt well. Yeah
41:38Well, I felt I was I was going for flaccid
41:40I just want to make that quite clear. So was I
41:42I
41:48Yeah, so I'm giving four points to Lisa because I felt personally targeted so I felt like my feelings were hurt
41:54So I want to reward that
41:57Okay, so that's one point for Dave two for Waka three for Emma four for Lisa and five points for Tommy Little
42:05And in terms of the overall episode there's only four points separating the top four with Tommy out in front with 13 points
42:12Oh
42:16All right, everyone up to the stage for the final task of the show
42:25All right, let's have time you're my man on the ground up there. What's going on? Lisa is about to read a task
42:31Okay, land a sandbag on the scoreboard then say a word with the number of letters
42:39equal to your landed score
42:41Oh
42:43Okay, your word must begin with your randomly assigned letter
42:48If you fail to say a correct word within three seconds of landing
42:54You will get zero points for that round. There will be three rounds
42:58Most points wins. All right. This is good. Come on. Your first Lisa. Okay
43:02That's correct
43:12That's correct
43:14Waka L
43:20Litter that's correct
43:21Emma please step up to the map see
43:28Uh
43:29Cataract that is incorrect. It has eight letters. Oh come on Tommy Tommy
43:34F
43:36It's a six follow
43:41That is correct
43:43Dave please step up to the map
43:45H
43:4512
43:4712
43:49Hermaphrodite
43:51This would be huge
43:53It's got to be close
43:54This would be huge
43:55Hermaphrodite has 13 characters
43:57Oh
43:59That's hurtful
44:01On to the second round
44:03Lisa
44:04Okay
44:05E
44:06Elite
44:08That's incorrect
44:09No
44:10This is hard
44:12Waka
44:13F
44:147
44:16Fricksmall
44:18That's incorrect
44:20That's eight characters
44:21Oh
44:22Good effect
44:23Emma are you ready?
44:24C
44:25D
44:27You've landed on the arrow
44:29You get zero points
44:31Some of you are you ready?
44:33H
44:357
44:36Heavenly
44:37That's incorrect
44:38Damn
44:39That's eight letters
44:40Ooh
44:41Dave please stand on the map
44:43A
44:45That's ten characters
44:48Anachronism
44:51That's incorrect
44:53Oh how many?
44:54Eleven
44:56Letters
44:57I'm so close
44:58What's anachronism?
44:59Oh
45:00It's
45:01Oh I don't really know
45:02Alright
45:03Well
45:04If my random letter was B
45:05Then the number would be five
45:07And my word would be break
45:08Because we're about to have one
45:09See you in a bit
45:10Welcome back to Taskmaster
45:23No need for me to chew your ear off
45:25Tom Cashman can you set the stage?
45:27We're down to the final round
45:28We're down to the final round
45:29And the devil is at play
45:30Because Dave and Emma are on zero
45:32But Lisa, Tommy and Wacka are all on six
45:34It's 6-6-6 going into the final round
45:37It's anyone's game
45:38Lisa please step up to the mat
45:40Y
45:42Ten letters
45:45Yellowish
45:46Incorrect
45:47That's nine letters
45:49Wacka
45:50F
45:52F
45:53Three letters
45:56F
45:57Four
45:59Correct
46:04That's seven characters
46:08Nita
46:09That's incorrect
46:10Oh
46:11That's six letters
46:12Tommy you need four to take the lead
46:15T
46:16Four letters
46:19Tramp
46:20Correct!
46:23Dave, Tommy is on 10.
46:25You are on zero.
46:26B.
46:32Gone off the end.
46:33Zero points for Dave.
46:36Okay, get down here so I can spell out who won.
46:44Okay, so how did the scores end up for the live task?
46:48Well, Dave unfortunately overthrew on that last one
46:50so he ended up with zero points along with Emma.
46:52Then we had Lisa with six points, Waka with nine,
46:54but Tommy won the task with 10 points.
46:59That's two points for Emma and Dave,
47:01three for Lisa, four for Waka,
47:02and Tommy with five points won the task.
47:07Okay, so let's get the final scores for the episode.
47:10Cashman?
47:11Well, he won spelling and he's won the episode.
47:13It's 18 points with Tommy!
47:14All right, congratulations, Tommy.
47:19Get up there and score yourself a sweet skeleton.
47:24Okay, well, what have we learned?
47:26Waka taught us the first rule of the air fry
47:29is don't talk about the air fry.
47:32And we learned Lesser Tom's rig
47:33is exactly what you'd think it would be.
47:37Hip hip hooray for Tommy.
47:39Thanks for watching, and see you on the next one.
47:58Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:59It's our halfway point of the season.
48:02Thomas!
48:03Ah, you're a great person.
48:12Stay in your lane, you f***ing snitch.
48:13Are you silencing a woman?
48:14Yes.