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Taskmaster (AU) Season 4 Episode 2

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Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Stop!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:21Stop!
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:42If you're someone who is new to our show
00:44because Right to Disconnect laws
00:46have finally given you back your leisure time,
00:48welcome.
00:50I sure can't wait to show you the gold standard
00:52for how a boss should treat their employees.
00:55Where will he?
00:57Look at that, right in.
01:05Competing for the Taskmaster Trophy are five comedians.
01:07Sorry, four comedians and Lisa McCune.
01:09Sorry.
01:11Three comedians and Tommy Little and Lisa McCune.
01:13Sorry, I'll start again.
01:15Competing are five humans.
01:17Competing are five humans.
01:19Sorry, four humans and Dave Hughes.
01:21Wait up.
01:23Let's just welcome them.
01:25Dave Hughes.
01:27Emma Holland.
01:29And next to me, the guy whose emotional support blanket is all stiff for some reason.
01:45It's Tom Cashman.
01:47How's it going, Lesser Tom?
01:53Not too bad.
01:54I learnt a fact this week.
01:55Yeah, okay.
01:56Apparently there are more germs on your dining room table than there are on your toilet seat.
02:00Oh.
02:01Because I snuck into your house and did something disgusting to your dining room table.
02:04I'm joking, I'm joking.
02:05I didn't do anything.
02:06I can't care.
02:07I just licked your earwax.
02:08I couldn't give a shit, Lesser Tom.
02:09Alright, so what's the prize task please?
02:10Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in something they consider to be the
02:11weirdest thing to just casually have up one's sleeve.
02:25Alright, Big Dave Hughes, what have you brought for us?
02:28I've brought my ARIA award from 2006.
02:32Hang on, did you have a hit single?
02:35No, they have a comedy section and I won in 2006.
02:38Beat out.
02:40It was a long time ago.
02:41So yeah, but they're really heavy and really pointy.
02:47You could kill a burglar with them, no doubt about it.
02:50So to have it up your sleeve would be good because people would say I'm an award winner
02:55and I can, you know, kill them.
02:57Are you saying that you winning an award is also part of the surprise?
03:01So it's like, because you look like a loser and it's like, hang on, he's a winner.
03:05No, no, I hear exactly what you're saying and my subconscious is...
03:10No, but yeah, no, yeah, anyway, whatever, I'm rich.
03:16OK, what have you got, Emma?
03:22Olives.
03:25I'm not talking in the jar, I'm talking about having those babies loose.
03:29So you've just got loose and you've got like wet sort of salty water there, the brine's just a wet sleeve.
03:35Yeah.
03:36I just can't think of a situation where that wouldn't be strange.
03:39And olives are a super food, we've got to remember that.
03:42So, olives are a super food.
03:44Really healthy.
03:45Are you fighting for me?
03:46I'm just saying they're a really healthy food and some people watching at home might not realise.
03:50What do you think this is, the morning show?
03:52Are you going to throw to an infomercial?
03:55What's going on?
03:56But I also think the only thing weirder than having olives up your sleeve is by backing it up with,
04:00they're a super food.
04:05Pretty weird.
04:06Alright, Lisa, what did you bring in?
04:09After being traumatised by having three children, you become very reliant on wet wipes.
04:14Yeah, I mean a pack of them and I do think you need a pack, but you know.
04:17But if you've got, if you had many, it could be like a magic trick where they keep...
04:23So that's a fair point, I see what you're saying, because if you think of things being hidden up a sleeve,
04:27maybe never-ending hankies is something you would expect, because it's a classic trick.
04:31Yeah.
04:32Are they a super food?
04:35You know what? Well, they dissolve.
04:37Alright, Tommy.
04:39I bought magic cards.
04:42Oh.
04:43Yeah.
04:44And the magic thing about them is that they've got nothing on them.
04:47During lockdown I took up magic, and ironically the only thing that disappeared was my girlfriend.
04:52And...
04:55But these were on a magician's website and they're like, you've got to have magic cards.
05:01I have no use for them.
05:04Because if you're doing a magic trick and you say select a card, it's never a blank one.
05:09Tommy, just so you know, you're not meant to use only them while doing magic,
05:13you're meant to incorporate them into existing decks of cards to pad up the deck or...
05:17That is where you're wrong, because if I use just them, and you pick a card, I know it's going to be a blank one.
05:24But if I put other cards in there, how am I ever supposed to know which one you pick?
05:29Not every card trick is, what card did I just pick out?
05:33Every one that I do, it.
05:36Okay, so Walker, what would you think would be weird to have up your sleeve?
05:40I think... piercing. Everyone has a tattoo on the sleeve.
05:44A piercing?
05:45Body piercing.
05:46What, like a pierced ear stalled up your sleeve? I don't understand.
05:49Oh, here we go.
05:50No!
05:52Oh my God!
05:54Oh my God!
05:55What?
06:00Hang on.
06:01I did that, three days ago.
06:03You go...
06:07Oh, you're the best!
06:10That was my first piercing in my life.
06:12Yeah.
06:13First one.
06:14I never had a pierce before.
06:15Oh, he's got one too!
06:16Wow!
06:17And he's a nice guy, he's Adam, and I sent a message, can I get a piercing elbow?
06:20And he goes, oh, I never done that.
06:22Excited!
06:23And I went there, and he did that before, in case.
06:26He tested on himself?
06:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:28This guy.
06:29And he also gave me the voucher.
06:31It's called a weenus piercing.
06:40Weenus, this bit.
06:41Is that skin there called your weenus?
06:43You said weenus.
06:46Alright, we need some scores now, so we're looking for weird things to be found up your sleeve.
06:50And I think straight away, I think finding cards up a sleeve is probably really obvious, so one point to Tommy Little.
06:55Okay.
06:56Lisa said that she had flushable wipes, so that's, I reckon, the second most obvious thing.
07:00Okay.
07:01So two points to Lisa.
07:02Three points to Husey, because it would be surprising to find out that he wasn't a loser, he was a winner.
07:07Thanks!
07:08And then I'm going to give four points to Emma, because I think seagulling's fall out of a sleeve would be very weird.
07:16But I'm a bit weirded out just by Waka's effort, by going and getting his weenus beard.
07:22Five points to Waka!
07:23All right, good to get the weirdness of the show finished. Time for something totally normal.
07:30Eureka!
07:31Is what Archimedes would say if you got a load of this next task.
07:34Tom.
07:35Hi there, Tom.
07:36Hi.
07:37I feel like I'm on The Bachelor, huh?
07:40More tasks?
07:41Mm-hmm.
07:42I missed it.
07:43I missed tasks now.
07:44Oh.
07:45I'm task addiction now.
07:46Wow.
07:47I can't wait.
07:48You always look cheeky.
07:50Always a compliment.
07:51Get the ping-pong ball out of the bath.
07:53You cannot touch or cross the rope.
07:55Nothing you are holding can touch water.
07:57Fastest wins.
07:58Your time starts now.
07:59Oh, no.
08:00No.
08:01No.
08:02No.
08:03No.
08:04No.
08:05No.
08:06No.
08:07No.
08:09No.
08:10No.
08:11No.
08:12No.
08:13No.
08:14No.
08:15No.
08:16No.
08:17No.
08:18No.
08:19No.
08:21I love that.
08:22Nothing I'm holding can touch water.
08:24That's just impossible.
08:26I have been set up to fail here.
08:28And that is disappointing, because I want to be a winner.
08:34Hughsy, it feels like it's only just dawning on you now that all the tasks are stacked against you.
08:40But how did I go?
08:45Are you doing your own cliffhangers?
08:48Seriously, I can't remember how it went.
08:52Alright, well, let's get on with it.
08:54Alright, the first contestants to Ball, Bath & Beyond are Dave and Emma.
08:57I need a long stick and sticky tape.
08:59Sticky tape and a stick! Sticky tape and a stick!
09:02I'm going to win this!
09:04I've got long things and duct tape.
09:06I feel like if I can get above it with the duct tape,
09:09I could maybe get it to stick to it.
09:10I can't go over there, can I?
09:11No.
09:14I need a longer stick.
09:15Long enough, do you reckon?
09:18It might need one more thing.
09:21Shit, I feel like I'm a Giver.
09:25Careful.
09:30I just think I'm going to touch the water if I do that.
09:32Alright, shit, that's long enough, isn't it?
09:34It needs one more thing.
09:36Have you ever had a woman run at you at the golf club before?
09:39Never.
09:39I've had one run away.
09:42That sounded worse than I intended it.
09:44Tom!
09:48I didn't touch the water, don't I?
10:00Is that it?
10:01That's it?
10:03I'm out!
10:03Do you want this?
10:14Do I want this?
10:15Yeah.
10:16No, thank you.
10:16Okay.
10:17That could have been the high point of my whole series.
10:20And it's all fun.
10:21It was a clear dip.
10:22It was a clear dip.
10:23We're done.
10:24So, Emma, that was very good.
10:33It felt like textbook ping pong no water touchy.
10:36Were you pleased with your efforts?
10:38I really thought I'd touch the water a few times.
10:41I was like very, very strict.
10:42Because you can't really see over the angle I was...
10:45Tom, you're not listening to me.
10:46The angle I was at, the, like, rim of the bath was covering my line of sight, so I couldn't
10:52actually see, like, what I was touching, and I kind of just had to go by, like, feel.
10:56Yeah, it's pretty impressive for Husey to read about it.
11:00What sort of Matrix bullshit going on here?
11:02I like the moment, Husey, when you ran up the hill and you yelled out,
11:06Sticky tape and a stick to all the crew who didn't give a shit.
11:09And I wasn't happy with how I ran then.
11:12And I ran a lot during the series, so I'm going to be disappointed a lot.
11:16Husey, at one point you said you feel like you're MacGyver.
11:18Is that because you also felt like an out-of-date reference?
11:22Yeah, look, MacGyver was a great show.
11:24You can probably see it on Netflix, do you reckon?
11:25Or Paramount, I would say.
11:26Go for Paramount.
11:31Paramount Plus, well worth every cent you pay.
11:36So Husey was on track to beat Emma when he did a
11:39dip as clear as day.
11:40Emma, with her golf club, taped to a stick, taped to a pinwheel,
11:43took 11 minutes and 16 seconds.
11:46All right.
11:47Time to go to a break because nothing says cliffhanger
11:50like Husey mistakenly dipping the tip.
11:52Stay tuned.
11:53Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:09The competition is still young and some floaters need a saving.
12:13Right, Tom?
12:13That's right.
12:14Our contestants are trying to knock a ping pong ball out of the bath.
12:16They're not allowed to cross the rope or touch water with anything they're holding.
12:20Next up, like all the most uncomfortable baths, we've got three at once.
12:24It's Lisa, Tommy and Waka.
12:26I'm just going to get an oar and tip the bath over.
12:28Oi.
12:29Yes.
12:30I think I'm going to win.
12:31Nothing you are holding can touch the water.
12:33Okay.
12:34I was thinking to put buckets of water, put more water, the ball is going to be...
12:41Oh, you mother...
12:44It's heavy enough, it's all right.
12:50Oh, did you see that?
12:52Okay.
12:54That mist, I just don't want to break anything.
12:57I've lost my tyre.
13:11Watch out.
13:15Oh, pretty good.
13:22Ah.
13:22Oh.
13:27Quite an attachment to this tyre.
13:31I mean, we could be here in a while.
13:39All right.
13:40Calm down.
13:42Calm down?
13:42Me.
13:43I just poke it myself.
13:46Breathe.
13:48Hey, Waka.
13:48Don't talk.
13:49Okay.
13:50I think...
13:54I'm going to back to water again.
13:55Okay.
13:57I mean, I could have a go on that tyre.
14:03I couldn't get the first one in, so what says that I'm going to get this one in?
14:13Oh!
14:15Come on!
14:19It's impossible.
14:20I'm having a great day with my throwing.
14:25Oh, all right.
14:27Come for me.
14:31It's moving?
14:34How about...
14:35if you have something heavy through the water?
14:39I feel like...
14:40maybe I should just throw that tyre at it.
14:43Up to you.
14:43Okay.
14:44Okay.
14:46Be careful, everyone.
14:47Okay.
14:54Hey!
14:54Hey!
15:03Yes!
15:03Do you think you've beaten the others?
15:11I doubt it.
15:12Three, two, one.
15:27Ah, so, Waka, you got there in the end.
15:30Yes.
15:30You must have felt so relieved.
15:32Yes, I got so sore for my body because I run so much.
15:36The water passed.
15:37Well, we like to pretend this show's clever
15:39and rewards lateral thinking and being intelligent,
15:42but sometimes it's just fun watching people
15:44throw heavy shit into a barn.
15:46What were you thinking, Tommy, with the records?
15:48Were you just trying to fling it out?
15:49Yeah, I thought I was channelling Xena Warrior Princess
15:52and I was so agonisingly close about 4,000 times.
15:58I did like the way that you chiselled away the plug hole for a while.
16:00What did that come to?
16:01Nothing.
16:02Yeah, but also plugs often have a little grate at the bottom of it
16:05so you could have drained the whole bath
16:06and then the ping pong would have been sitting at the bottom of the bath.
16:09Mm.
16:10Thank God we didn't get to that.
16:11Yeah.
16:11Now, Lisa, I feel like your tyre spotting skills were not...
16:18No, I know.
16:19...were not ideal.
16:20I was trying to create a tidal wave.
16:22Yeah.
16:22It just took a while.
16:24Bad, I didn't have my glasses on.
16:25Okay.
16:25Can I just say, I took a promo shot in that bath later on in the series,
16:31so, yeah, nude.
16:33LAUGHTER
16:33And the relevance of that was?
16:35Well, check the Daily Mail.
16:38And, Hughes, when you were in the bath nude,
16:41was everyone throwing tyres at you trying to get you out?
16:43LAUGHTER
16:44I feel like we need some results here, some scores.
16:51Well, Lisa took six minutes and ten seconds.
16:54Oh, my God, I'm close.
16:55Tommy took just five seconds more, six minutes and 15 seconds.
16:59Oh.
16:59Waka spent 19 minutes just running back and forth,
17:03filling up buckets of water,
17:04and in total took 31 minutes and 34 seconds.
17:07LAUGHTER
17:07APPLAUSE
17:08OK, so, Hughes is disqualified.
17:13That's right, Hughes is on zero,
17:14Waka gets two points, Emma takes home three,
17:17Tommy gets four, but Lisa wins the task with five points.
17:19Oh, my God!
17:20I won a task!
17:23And in terms of the episode,
17:25Dave and Tommy are trailing the pack on three and five,
17:28with Emma, Lisa and Waka all on seven points apiece.
17:31LAUGHTER
17:32With that all washed away,
17:35we'd better get to the next one, Cashman.
17:37This task will be unfamiliar to Tom Gleeson's loyal fans,
17:40because unlike nothing sus,
17:42this is about encouraging a medium amount of sus-ness.
17:44MUSIC PLAYS
17:47MUSIC PLAYS
17:48MUSIC PLAYS
17:52MUSIC PLAYS
17:56LAUGHTER
17:57LAUGHTER
17:59How are these on?
18:01Hello.
18:01How are you?
18:02So many cushions again.
18:04So many cushions.
18:05Unnecessary.
18:06I apologise.
18:07Don't worry.
18:08Pineapple.
18:10Yeah.
18:10Is it real or fake?
18:11Real.
18:12Is it?
18:13Real.
18:15MUSIC PLAYS
18:16All right.
18:18Let's do it, man.
18:19Do something sus, but not too sus, with this pineapple.
18:23Most sus loses.
18:25Least sus get two points.
18:27Second least sus gets three points.
18:29Second most sus gets four points.
18:32Middle most sus wins.
18:34You have 20 minutes.
18:35Your time sus.
18:37No.
18:37Do you do many things that are sus?
18:39Not with a pineapple.
18:41I'm a bit sus.
18:42According to my wife, I'm a bit sneaky.
18:44I don't think I'm a sus person.
18:45You're not the least sus person.
18:47Yeah, that's Malala.
18:48I'm just trying to work out who I think would do the most sus.
18:52What the others would do?
18:52Yeah.
18:53I don't know how wild Lisa McCune is,
18:55because she might be like,
18:56well, everyone's going to shove this up their arse.
18:58So, and what?
18:59Do it twice.
19:00LAUGHTER
19:01How do you do it twice?
19:04There will be others who are better at this than me.
19:06Those with more sick minds.
19:08Well, I mean, we're all thinking it.
19:11I'm going to say it.
19:12Up my arse.
19:15APPLAUSE
19:16This is already the second time in this series
19:21that Tommy Little's solution has been to jam something up his arse.
19:24LAUGHTER
19:25All right, well, who do we have first, Lessa Tom?
19:27Our first sus attempt to sus out is Emma Holland.
19:30Hello, welcome to my nice and normal shop.
19:32It's so wholesome here.
19:37Oh, hi, Tom.
19:38Sorry, customer.
19:39Oh, I'm just here to do my weekly shopping.
19:41Well, let me just start checking that out for you.
19:43Is it just me, or there's a weird energy round here?
19:46I don't know what you're talking about.
19:48Does anyone want to buy me cigarettes?
19:51Oh, hey, Tom.
19:52Welcome to my wholesome skate park, where nothing sus happens.
19:55How's it going?
19:56Are you doing well with the kickflips?
19:57Yeah, I'm doing ollies.
19:58Oh, that's fantastic.
20:00Yeah.
20:00Is it just me?
20:01Or is there a bit of a weird energy around here?
20:03I don't know what you're talking about.
20:06You guys don't have any cigarettes, do you?
20:08Welcome to border security.
20:10Do you have anything to declare?
20:11No.
20:12There's something strange.
20:13I'm getting a strange energy from you.
20:15I don't know what you're talking about.
20:17I'm getting Ziggy's duty free.
20:19Emma, I feel like you're going for real medium-level sus energy there.
20:29Do you think you achieved it?
20:30I don't know.
20:31Tom just was like, what's the most sus you can think of?
20:33And I said, loitering outside a shopping centre.
20:37Yeah, but that's some real mid-level susness.
20:40But it's still sus, though.
20:43And is that not what we are trying to achieve here?
20:45Yeah, I was pretty impressed by it.
20:48The only thing I'm concerned about is technically,
20:50were you doing something sus with a pineapple
20:52or was a pineapple being sus near you?
20:55Maybe you weren't being sus at all.
20:57That's all linguistics.
20:58I think what's important is how you feel.
21:00And let's refer back to the previous 30 seconds.
21:05So I shouldn't use logic or the rules.
21:07I should just go on how I feel.
21:09Absolutely.
21:10The way women do.
21:15Well, like an idiot would say to their way-hotted girlfriend
21:20right before going backpacking,
21:22we need to go on a break.
21:23See you after this.
21:27APPLAUSE
21:27Welcome back to Taskmaster,
21:38where competitors are trying to be sus,
21:40but not the most sus.
21:42Yeah, also not the least sus.
21:43They're trying to be medium amount of sus.
21:45Medium.
21:46Medium amount of.
21:46Medium level of susness.
21:48Grouped as two together
21:49because they have one-track minds.
21:51It's Dave and Tommy.
21:53I'm just going to end up
21:54sticking a pineapple down my pants.
21:56Could I put it down the front of my pants?
21:59Just going to put it in your pants
22:00and go for a wonder?
22:01Wonder around and see if anyone notices.
22:03We'll see if you notice.
22:04Do you want to play a game?
22:05Sure.
22:05Let's play pineapple pants parachute.
22:08You want me to put a parachute on it?
22:09Yeah.
22:09OK.
22:10Let's go.
22:11What are we going to do this afternoon?
22:19I've got a problem.
22:20I don't think I can get my pants open enough.
22:23What's the solution?
22:24The parachute pineapple penis drop
22:26and I'll just lie down and you just drop it on my penis.
22:28OK, you've got 22 seconds.
22:29OK, hang on.
22:30I'm going to guess no pineapple.
22:32Am I correct?
22:36You're being genuine right now.
22:38Yep.
22:40What's the answer?
22:43Is it down your pants or not?
22:46Oh, no.
22:47I need to wax.
22:50It was.
22:51OK, pineapple penis drop.
22:54Go.
22:55Pineapple penis drop, go!
22:57Pineapple penis drop, go!
22:58Oh!
22:59Oh!
23:00Oh!
23:01Oh!
23:02Oh!
23:02Oh!
23:03Oh!
23:03Oh!
23:04Oh!
23:04Oh!
23:05Oh!
23:05Oh!
23:06Oh!
23:06Oh!
23:07Oh!
23:08How are you feeling?
23:08You OK?
23:09Oh!
23:09I wasn't, I suppose, expecting to say this, but could you do me another round?
23:14OK.
23:15I was quite proud of how accurate I was, to be honest.
23:18What are you saying the target wasn't big?
23:20I wasn't saying that, but your insecurity in that area makes me think that perhaps it wasn't.
23:34You think it's down my pants?
23:36You're standing in quite a strange way now.
23:38I suspect that that's because you're trying to make it now look like you do have something down your pants.
23:42I'm going to again guess that you don't have a pineapple down your pants.
23:45That's your final guess?
23:46That's my final guess.
23:47Still down my pants, Matt.
23:51I've been an absolute fool.
23:53I think I've won this game.
23:55Thanks, Tom.
23:56Thanks, Tommy.
24:03Fusey and Tommy, you've both done a lot of commercial radio, and I feel like you both went for the most obvious things straight away.
24:09But I feel like there's almost nothing suss about yours at all, Tommy.
24:13It just felt like it had jackass vibes.
24:15Yes, it did.
24:16And can I just say, contrary to popular belief, it did not make my ****** taste sweeter.
24:21So...
24:24Wow.
24:26Wow.
24:28Have you had that joke in your back pocket for about two months?
24:31I just thought of it, but I got nervous to say it.
24:36Did you have any protection?
24:37I mean, that was a very dangerous thing to do, honestly.
24:39Yes, Husey, I was wearing a condom the whole time.
24:41All right, so I feel like yours wasn't very suss at all, Tommy, to be fair, but Husey, just you walking out from behind a garden shed with no pineapple in your pants, really suss.
24:55So suss.
24:56Yeah.
24:57I don't know what happened to the pineapple.
24:59I think it might have ended up being eaten, and I hope it was, because you know what?
25:03Wasting food is a sin, so...
25:06I reckon what you did to that pineapple was a sin.
25:08And that's a superfood, you know that.
25:15Okay, let's see the next one.
25:17Least familiar with the slang word, but all too familiar with the concept, it's Takashi Makasugi.
25:22Thank you so much for coming.
25:25Last night, the giraffe got killed by someone, murder, who was hit by something, something hard.
25:32Wow.
25:33In this house, only five animals.
25:35One of these?
25:36Yeah.
25:37Characters?
25:38Yeah.
25:39Committed the murder?
25:40I think so.
25:41Also, next to the giraffe, there's something like this.
25:42Oh, these are the potential weapons?
25:44Yeah.
25:45Who did that?
25:46And what's the weapon?
25:48Who has to guess?
25:50Us.
25:51Okay.
25:52I'm a detective.
25:53You can see.
25:55I'm doing suss, or I'm...
26:01You're a suspect.
26:02I was the...
26:03I think I was dead.
26:04What a switch.
26:05I didn't see that coming.
26:06The person is very dangerous.
26:07Angry person.
26:10We found birds.
26:11This is the weapon killed of giraffe.
26:13Wow.
26:14Did you do that?
26:15No, I swear.
26:16Did you do it?
26:17No, no.
26:18Don't suss.
26:19I do suss.
26:20Oh, sorry.
26:21You doing suss?
26:22I got sussed by you.
26:23I'm not sure what you're saying.
26:24Me neither.
26:25Wait.
26:27Oh, my goodness.
26:28That's a bit of blood on the end of the robot.
26:30It's open and shut?
26:31Yeah.
26:32Robot, did you do this?
26:34Let's find out.
26:35Last night.
26:36Is this a recreation?
26:37Yeah.
26:38I think I was there, too.
26:40The person is very dangerous.
26:42Angry person.
26:43Did you do it?
26:44No.
26:45No.
26:46Shit.
26:47We found birds.
26:48It's open and shut?
26:49Yeah.
26:50Was that a recreation of you doing it?
26:55I still don't know what is suss, but that's why I did it both.
27:00I did suss and I got sussed.
27:03Sorry, we've got 20 seconds left.
27:04Can you please clarify who did the crime?
27:08Me.
27:09So, Waka, you said you did suss and you got sussed.
27:19That's the...
27:20I still don't understand what suss means.
27:23Yeah, well, you...
27:24What's the sussy people?
27:25Well, in Australian slang, suss is short for suspicious.
27:29Yeah.
27:30Do you get suspicioned or you will suspicion?
27:32Dodgy.
27:33You're dodgy.
27:34You're like, you're dodgy.
27:35Hey, man, come on.
27:36Come on.
27:37Jesus.
27:38Yeah, I feel like it was the first whodunit where we were trying to figure out who was
27:43the culprit and who was the detective.
27:47I got so confused.
27:50I thought it was so clever.
27:52I loved it.
27:53I loved it.
27:54And I still don't know I did suss yet.
27:56I felt like I was watching a thriller.
27:58When you sat down, I'm like, oh, my God.
28:01Alright, well, who's next, Cashman?
28:03Probably the least likely to act suss.
28:05Thank God she's good at acting.
28:06It's Lisa McHugh.
28:07Oh, my God.
28:08Miss Penelope.
28:10Master Tom.
28:12Thank you for calling me a master.
28:14I'm here because I'm a gentleman caller and I'm interested in your hand.
28:17As a lady, I can't actually come out and tell you how much I love you.
28:21I mean, I didn't say that, but I admire you.
28:24Oh.
28:25And I've been thinking how I could signify it for you.
28:27Okay.
28:28To show you how much I care.
28:29Oh, that'd be great.
28:33Oh.
28:34My.
28:35God.
28:36Is that a pineapple?
28:37Don't let anybody see.
28:38Of course not.
28:39It's been between my legs.
28:40It's for you to eat.
28:41Oh.
28:42Bit intense, but I appreciate it.
28:43Someone's coming.
28:44I must be off.
28:45Oh.
28:46Oh, my God.
28:47He didn't do that to my pineapple, did he?
28:48It, unfortunately, was the same pineapple.
28:49Oh, no.
28:50That is just so bad.
28:51I got a visual on that.
28:52It was not good.
28:53So, Lisa, the suss action was that you had a pineapple between your legs.
28:58Yeah.
28:59But I find you so wholesome that even when you said that, I thought, that sounds reasonable.
29:03She was probably keeping it warm.
29:04I could think of no other connotations.
29:05I didn't think it was like that.
29:06I thought the pearl necklace and everything was really suss.
29:08I thought that there were other things going on.
29:09That is the most rich lady thing I've ever heard in my life.
29:10I know.
29:11Oh, no.
29:12Oh, no.
29:13That is so bad.
29:14I got a visual on that.
29:15I got a visual on that.
29:16It was not good.
29:17So, Lisa, the suss action was that you had a pineapple between your legs.
29:18Yeah.
29:19But I find you so wholesome that even when you said that, I thought, that sounds reasonable.
29:20She was probably keeping it warm.
29:21I could think of no other connotations.
29:22I didn't think of it like that.
29:23I thought the pearl necklace and everything was really suss.
29:26I thought that there were other things going on.
29:29That is the most rich lady thing I've ever heard in my life.
29:32I know.
29:33I'm trying...
29:34I'm just trying to get some points.
29:35Yeah.
29:36So, I think it's going to be easier for me if I just work through order of sussness
29:40and then we allocate the points afterwards.
29:42So, these aren't the points.
29:43But I think the least suss had to be waka because he didn't even know what suss meant.
29:47I watch everything and I still don't get it.
29:49Yeah, well, there you go.
29:50And then I'm going to say Lisa McCune is, uh, second least suss.
29:53I'm saying the most suss is Dave Hughes.
29:55Just him lurking near any building looks suss straight up.
29:58The second most suss is, uh, Emma.
30:00The pineapple looking for cigarettes was really quite suss in the end.
30:03Okay.
30:04But weirdly enough, landing right in the middle...
30:08Just by a process of elimination is Tommy Little.
30:18So, Dave Hughes was most suss, so he gets one point.
30:21Waka gets two points.
30:22Don't try and start your own applause.
30:25Lisa gets three.
30:26Emma gets four.
30:27But Tommy takes the task for five points.
30:28Woo!
30:30Okay.
30:31Things are spicing up, so use this break to crack out the yoghurt.
30:34See you in a bit.
30:35Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that's tremendous for the viewer, turbulent for the players, and tedious for me.
30:54We've seen it all so far, Cashman.
30:56That's right, we've rescued a ping-pong ball from a bath and a pineapple from Dave Hughes's pants.
31:01Now, we're off to a warehouse that will have you asking, where is the house?
31:05It's our first ever journey to a different location.
31:07Ooh.
31:08Ooh.
31:09Ooh.
31:10Hi, Tony.
31:37Hi, Tom.
31:39Hi, Lisa.
31:39Hi, Tom.
31:40Hi, Tom.
31:41How are you?
31:42I'm okay.
31:43This is a big room.
31:45It feels like the final scene in, like, a drug movie or something.
31:51I can't tell you how much I love opening these.
31:54Move a box or by the red line.
31:56Each turn, you must hide behind the box.
32:01If Tom guesses the box you're behind, all boxes must be returned to the start.
32:06If Tom fails to guess the box you're behind, you may move your boxes forward.
32:11The number of box moves you can make is the row number of the box you successfully hid behind.
32:18Once a box is past the red line...
32:21You must deceive Tom one more time.
32:24Least hiding to get a box over the line wins.
32:27Your time starts now.
32:30Okay.
32:31Okay.
32:32Great.
32:33That's so much fun.
32:34Okay.
32:35Let the hiding begin.
32:36Alright, we're at a new location there, which I love.
32:41But just to get this right, it's a benefit to hide behind a box in row five,
32:46because then you get to move the box five places.
32:49That's right.
32:50But at the same time, you're going to more likely guess that they're there,
32:52because they're going to go for that advantage.
32:54Unless they're double-tricking.
32:55Okay.
32:56Then the mind games begin.
32:57Okay, Lisa Tom.
32:59Who's sneaking around first?
33:00Like a well-endowed cricketer, they're hoping a box will be enough to protect them.
33:04It's Emma, Lisa and Tommy.
33:06I'm going to choose to involve mind games as well.
33:09I'm going to hide behind this box here.
33:12Five, four, three, two, one.
33:17I officially predict that you are behind the a bit left box.
33:22The middle box.
33:23No.
33:24The extreme left box.
33:26Damn it.
33:27The middle box.
33:28Damn it.
33:29The middle box.
33:30That's incorrect.
33:31You can now move two spaces.
33:32Oh.
33:33I'm going to hide behind the middle box.
33:34The middle box.
33:35How did you do it?
33:36The extreme left box.
33:37Oh.
33:38How are you so good at this?
33:39I'm in your head, Emma.
33:41I'm going to hide behind the middle box.
33:52How did you do it?
33:53I'm in your head, Emma.
33:55I just need you to know if you guessed right on this one I might have a breakdown I predict
34:05you're behind the a bit left box the extreme right box what the a bit right box the a bit
34:16right box the middle box the extreme right box you're behind the a bit right box no I was correct
34:31please move all boxes back to the star I thought you said the extreme right sorry that was me
34:37getting a bit cross are you ready for the next fighting yeah let's go
34:46congratulations you've got a box over the line you must deceive me one final time five four three two one I
35:01heard what I would describe as performative footsteps just then does this mean you're in the middle box
35:07you're behind the a bit left box which one not that one
35:12yes yes yes the a bit left box you idiot yes I'm going to predict that you are behind the a bit
35:24right box let me out of here
35:30this task looked very stressful yeah which I really enjoyed but let's just start with the
35:41Tommy little mind games your mind game was you kept telling him when you were going to hide and
35:47then you kept doing it several times in a row yes talk me through the mind games because I thought
35:54he'd think at some point that I'd start lying to him but I would never and so I kept telling the truth
36:01and he kept guessing the truth Lisa why do I feel like it's totally in character that you losing your
36:07temper was just softly pushing over a box and then straight away apologizing for it well because I
36:13didn't want to really lose it in front of Tom because I didn't want to scare him we were in a
36:17lonely warehouse with boxes I didn't want to scare him you didn't Emma you took your shoes off do you think
36:26that was the winning move I just need to know I hated every second of that I took my shoe off and put it
36:32just next to a box so you could just see my shoe to make Tom think I was behind another box
36:37and did you hide behind that box uh sometimes see Tommy
36:40so sometimes yes sometimes no not every single time not every single time it's good to know now
36:48so we're measuring the number of hiding rounds Emma took 45 rounds for her to complete the game
36:56Tommy's mind games still took him 35 hiding rounds but Lisa only took 26 hiding oh my god I found my
37:04calling all right Cashman another he's already deceived me with pineapple in the pants will he
37:11deceive me again it's Husey three two one I predict you are behind the middle box
37:19ah the middle box three two one the extreme right box the a bit right box I'm a bit left aren't I
37:35good the middle box ah yeah wow what a lovely box that would be to hide behind are you gonna do it on
37:45the next round I honestly don't know right now let the hiding begin three two one I predict that
37:55you are hiding behind the extreme left box ah you did it I'm over I need to do it one more time three
38:07two two one I'm turning around I predict you are behind the a bit left box
38:17yeah
38:19oh my goodness
38:25you just couldn't get me could you didn't get me once you didn't beat me once
38:31mm-hmm thanks Dave thank you
38:41so Husey is this the first time you've sailed through something in your career and found something very
38:45easy that everyone else struggles with it was amazing and I can tell you the film crew they
38:50carried me from their shoulder that was we had an early lunch that day it was wonderful and I just
38:57yeah I hope my kids are watching um your daddy did it okay should we reveal how many moves so
39:04Dave finished in just 11 minutes and 51 seconds taking only eight rounds eight rounds all right it's time
39:12for a break see you soon
39:25welcome back to Taskmaster where the contestants playing a game true to my heart hide from Tom Cashman
39:32that's right you've just got one left and it's waka three two one I predict you are behind the extreme right box
39:42it's so much fun I like it can I do this the a bit right box this is a great idea doing this I don't
39:51see how it changes much to be honest the middle box oh why you can't find it it's like five options the
39:59extreme right box I love it I'm enjoying it you're behind the middle box that's
40:07crazy the entire pants behind the middle box the middle box I like stupid or you just amazing
40:17those options are not mutually exclusive you are behind the a bit right box thank you
40:28thank you thank you the extreme left box you have two box moves two why the number of box moves
40:40you get is the row that the box is on ah yeah behind the number two the extreme right box the middle box the
40:51extreme right box the a bit right box the extreme left box that makes me scared actually you know I was surprised but
40:59now I'm scared the a bit right box the extreme right box the middle box now finally I understand this task
41:08you're behind the a bit right box please take all boxes back to the start nothing much I can say
41:22anymore three two one I'm turning around I saw the socks being thrown you're behind the extreme left box
41:38the a bit right box that's genuinely amazing I'm turning around the a bit left box yes suck is the best you're behind the middle box
41:53the a bit left box the extreme right box the a bit right box oh I accidentally said a bit right box
42:10and then a bit left box but oh my god I was right the middle box the middle box the extreme left box
42:19one two three you must deceive me one more time thank you so much for this task don't talk like it's over
42:31waka this is final box three two one where are you waka I predict you're behind the middle box
42:49waka that was exhausting to watch me to I was this is now it's nooo it's a big
43:19fun task and the first everyone I enjoy the kids game and the middle I start
43:25thinking about what is life
43:30so with that last one was your heart racing I didn't feel anything
43:37there's no emotion just no emotion I did everything my life like experience
43:44Norwich everything I tried it and didn't walk so I didn't feel anything
43:51all right well I feel like we need to find out how he did Waka took a hundred and
43:56three rounds and one hour 35 minutes and 51 seconds
44:02so Waka takes one point Emma gets two Tommy gets three Lisa gets four but
44:07Husey takes out the task with five points and in terms of our episode it's close at
44:13the top of the leaderboard with Tommy and Emma on 13 points but one luckier it's
44:17Lisa leading the episode with 14 points at the moment
44:21well no time for Waka level mucking around let's get you all up on stage for the
44:27live task
44:32all right Lisa Tom set the scene I think I'm gonna ask Emma to read this task my
44:38olives
44:45do some acting interns choose a scene from a trophy then act it out the two most
44:55brilliant actors and the two most terrible actors will proceed to the next
44:58round you get ten seconds for each scene so I'm gonna ask Lisa to act first if the
45:03other four of you could please sit down here
45:07I said it I said it Emma you're up next well howdy partner you come down this saloon
45:25often
45:28Tommy what no no he's not mine no he doesn't this happens all the time he's not mine
45:41I love you
45:48oh this martini is so nice so maybe you want some
46:08I would say that Lisa was the best
46:17Waka was second best the two worst was Tommy and Dave
46:21that means Emma is eliminated
46:23and now for round two only the most brilliant and the most terrible acting
46:29will go through Tommy you are the first actor
46:31come on papa needs this come on come on yes yes diddy diddy diddy
46:37walk up you're up next
46:46and I believe that that man is not the man who you want leading this nation
47:02Dave hmm what should I buy today young man can you help me can you is it is it is it Jimmy
47:17I am your father
47:19so it's pretty easy for me Lisa's at the top Hughes is at the bottom
47:26okay great
47:27Waka and Tommy are eliminated
47:29all right we've seen a lot of acting up there on the stage I feel like I've been part of the theatre
47:35see you after the interval
47:36welcome back to Taskmaster
47:50we're in the throes of witnessing some Oscar worthy and some golden raspberry worthy performances
47:55Tom what have we got
47:56for this the final round
47:58the person who wins will be the person who does the most terrible acting
48:01Lisa you are the first actor
48:04ah
48:14yes
48:16hmm just be yourself
48:23come on Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy
48:27daddy daddy
48:34OK, come on down and let's get the final scores.
48:47All right, so who is cleaning up at the awards season
48:50for their acting lesser, Tom?
48:52Well, you have the unenviable task of choosing
48:54who is the worst actor, Lisa McKeown or Dave Hughes.
48:58I suspect that Hughesy decided to try to act really well
49:02and in so doing it was horrible.
49:06So I think the worst performance was Hughesy.
49:08OK. Thank you.
49:13That means Emma takes one point, Waka and Tommy both get three,
49:17Lisa gets four, but Dave Hughes wins the task with five points.
49:19Thank you. That's two wins.
49:21Two wins, Hughesy.
49:22And what does that do for the whole episode?
49:24Well, Waka's on 13 points, Dave and Emma both on 14,
49:27Tommy on 16, but Lisa has won the episode with 18 points.
49:30Oh, my God.
49:32All right, congrats, Lisa.
49:35Get up onto that stage to find your prize.
49:39Well, what have we learnt?
49:40Waka taught us what a weenus is by mutilating his.
49:44And a poor pineapple learnt that even being a superfood
49:47won't save you from Hughesy's undies.
49:51Good work, Lisa.
49:52Don't forget to thank your agent and the Academy.
49:55Good night.
49:55Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we've just been hanging out with our wings.
50:17Can I pee, or?
50:20Shit, you dickheads.
50:22Are you not entertained?
50:25If you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go f*** yourself.
50:27Well, thank you.
50:41Hi.
50:41Good night.