MJTV: Froggy Finds a Vibrating Device in Roxanne's Purse
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00:00I'm going to take this device.
00:02I'm going to put it on the camera and see if I can vibrate the camera.
00:05Is it vibrating the camera?
00:06Dude, that thing is powerful.
00:08Hey, Coop, is that vibrating the camera?
00:09Yeah, it's moving around.
00:10Oh, it's out of focus now.
00:12You're breaking the camera, MJ.
00:16We just had something happen during the break, which I know Roxanne's trying to, like, wave me off, and she doesn't want me to.
00:24Look at, look, look at, look.
00:26This is not, people are going to get in trouble.
00:28If you really want to go there, people are going to get in trouble, and I don't want to get my coworkers in trouble, but if I have to.
00:34Rox, Rox, Rox, this is just too good.
00:38I can't, I can't leave this alone.
00:41Is it, is it too good, or is it an utter invasion of someone's privacy and belongings?
00:46Wait a minute.
00:47It's, it's an invasion.
00:49No, no, no, don't go that route.
00:50Hold on, hold on.
00:51No, it is an invasion, but we got to look past the invasion because it's always about the bit.
00:57It's always about the content on the show.
01:00What, I see a little, I see a little smirk there.
01:03I see a little.
01:04What's going on?
01:05I see, Festu doesn't know.
01:06Festu, you were not here.
01:08No.
01:08And you just walked in.
01:09You have no idea what just transpired during the break.
01:12All right, folks, I have to derail for a moment what we were planning to do.
01:18This is a very loosely scripted show to begin with, but it is really loose right now.
01:23It is really, really loose.
01:25This is breaking news.
01:26This, this might be a little embarrassing for Roxanne.
01:29It's, it's, it's actually not embarrassing.
01:32You're turning it into something embarrassing.
01:35Embarrassing.
01:37Breaking news.
01:38This is an MJ news alert.
01:42All right, here's what happened.
01:48We go to break.
01:50Fester leaves the room.
01:51Immediately.
01:53Roxanne leaves the room.
01:56Froggy is in the room with me.
01:59And I turn the monitors down.
02:02I, you know, I, what are you doing?
02:04Are you fanning yourself?
02:07It is ridiculously warm in the studio today.
02:10It's warm.
02:10And Roxanne is under pressure.
02:13All right.
02:14So I'm in the studio with Froggy and I, I usually, you know, keep the, the monitors up a little
02:19bit, but for whatever reason, I brought the monitors down, you know, when the commercials
02:24were playing.
02:24It's because we were talking.
02:26So you can't talk with music.
02:27I brought the, I brought the monitors down and Froggy says, what's that noise?
02:33And I'm like, what?
02:34Do a little investigation.
02:37And I start, I start listening.
02:38I'm like, is that what we call it?
02:40I, I, there's like a humming sound.
02:45There's a humming sound coming from the corner of the room or near Fester.
02:51So Froggy is on the far left to me.
02:56Roxanne is on the far right across from me.
02:59And Froggy starts in Vestimo Gaten and moves towards Fester's mic position, which is right
03:05in front of me.
03:06It is.
03:07And Froggy's listening and I hear it too.
03:09It's like a, I'm saying, what is that?
03:13Well, Froggy gets to Roxanne's purse, which is on the countertop.
03:19You want to hold your purse up to the microphone so everyone can see it?
03:22At first time.
03:23I'll actually hold it up to the camera and not the microphone.
03:25Is that an expensive designer?
03:27What is that?
03:27It's just a Michael Kors.
03:29It's a Michael Kors.
03:29Michael Kors.
03:30So Michael Kors light bag over here.
03:34And it's weird because I, I, first I was like, did Fester leave audio on of that like
03:39thing that we were just talking about?
03:41I couldn't figure out what it was.
03:43Um, Roxanne, have you checked your bag?
03:46Yeah, I, I, I know, I know what's going on.
03:48I know what's going on.
03:49And you know, that's fine because, because maybe during the next break, I'll just go rifle
03:54through Froggy's car or truck or, you know, froggy's man purse.
04:00So here's the deal.
04:01Froggy finds the source of the, this is the vibrating noise.
04:07Whoa.
04:09Froggy that I think violated some very serious territory here.
04:13Froggy reached into Roxanne's purse and pulled out.
04:18Hang on.
04:18Cause I don't want to touch it.
04:19Cause that would be a violation.
04:20So I have chopsticks.
04:23And if you can see, this is some sort of sexual manipulation.
04:28No, it is not.
04:31Hey, let me see this thing.
04:33You are jumping to conclusions.
04:35Turn it on.
04:35Put on the microphone.
04:37Oh my God.
04:38Oh, and there's different settings.
04:40Hold on.
04:41Wait, there's different settings.
04:41Hold on.
04:42Just faster.
04:43Just stop.
04:44Stop.
04:45So Froggy's holding the device.
04:48That's in Roxanne's purse.
04:50That's what was making the noise.
04:51You know what that is.
04:52That way, vibrating the counter.
04:54So Roxanne's got this, this.
04:58Wait, what's that one for?
05:00I like that one.
05:01Roxanne, that's the one in it.
05:02Faster.
05:03Go to Google.
05:03Go to Google right now.
05:05Start my car.
05:06Yeah.
05:06Yeah.
05:07That's it.
05:08That's it.
05:09Doug.
05:09Doug.
05:09Doug.
05:09Doug.
05:10Doug.
05:10Doug.
05:11Doug.
05:11Come on, baby.
05:12Light my fire.
05:12Go to Google right now.
05:14Uh-oh.
05:15All right.
05:15So.
05:16Turn me up.
05:17Turn me up.
05:17We got it.
05:18Go ahead.
05:20Let me see this thing.
05:21Roxanne.
05:21We're moving.
05:23Roxanne.
05:23I can't even believe you.
05:24You guys are jumping to some of these settings.
05:26Are you a little upset that Froggy went into your purse for?
05:29You weren't.
05:30You weren't.
05:31This will be addressed.
05:32You were really angry.
05:35Oh, come on.
05:35It's just for the show.
05:36All you got to do is say three words for the show.
05:39You've calmed down a little bit here.
05:41But when you left the room, this device.
05:44No.
05:46Oh, okay.
05:47Listen.
05:47What is that thing called?
05:47The growler?
05:48Please help me out.
05:49Please help me out.
05:50Wait a minute.
05:51First of all, first of all, this thing sounds like the lawnmower.
05:59Sounds like a jackhammer.
06:00The jackhammer?
06:02Okay.
06:02Okay.
06:03Tension is very high in the studio.
06:04Roxanne's going to need that back.
06:06I can't.
06:07I can't hear you.
06:08I said Roxanne's going to need her vibrating device back.
06:11I can't hear you over this vibrating device.
06:14You guys need to stop.
06:15You need to go to Google right now.
06:16Type in.
06:17What does that say on it, MJ?
06:19What does it say at the bottom?
06:19Ram bone.
06:21It says Ram.
06:22No.
06:23Oh, my God.
06:24Do not look that up.
06:25It says PMD.
06:27PMD.
06:28Type in PMD, Fester.
06:30PMD.
06:31This says PMD.
06:32And what does it say?
06:33PMD beauty.
06:34Pure masturbatory delight?
06:37I just dumped that.
06:39That was a clinical term.
06:40I should have dumped the first one about the Ram thing also.
06:43That was a clinical term.
06:46I got Roxanne laughing right now.
06:47That's good.
06:47I think that might be the name of the thing.
06:50So, Fester, PMD, PMD, it's a clean, smart, facial cleaner.
06:59What?
06:59That thing looks like a...
07:01It's a vibrating...
07:02It is a facial massager and cleaner.
07:05What just happened yesterday?
07:07What just happened?
07:08Hang on a minute.
07:08Fester is on the Sephora website.
07:11Of course, Sephora is the big cosmetic chain of store.
07:15I had a cousin that was once VP of marketing there, but then went to some other company.
07:18It?
07:18Is there a cosmetic called It?
07:20You got a clown maker.
07:21I don't know.
07:22Yes.
07:22All clown makers.
07:23It sounds like It.
07:24I don't know.
07:25This is the collapse of Barnum and Bailey.
07:27It's been tough times at It.
07:28All right.
07:28So, Roxanne, I don't know what you want us to do.
07:32There's a vibrating noise coming from the room.
07:34I don't know whether there's a bomb.
07:35Froggy was alarmed.
07:37Froggy's a nervous Nelly to begin with.
07:38You know what you can do?
07:39You can wait until I get back into the room and say something's happening in your purse.
07:44We didn't know if we had time.
07:46We didn't know.
07:48Hey, we were all scared and confused, all right?
07:50Oh, you can totally wait for me to come back in the studio before you ask me about my face
07:54manipulator.
07:55All right.
07:56So, that's not going to happen.
07:57All right.
07:57So, this, this.
07:59Okay, listen.
08:00Fester, please read.
08:01What's the other half of it for?
08:03Roxanne, you read a smart facial cleansing device.
08:07It was my birthday yesterday.
08:09My mom sends me these boxes of beauty stuff.
08:13Your mom gave you that?
08:14Yes.
08:14Your mom gave you this?
08:15Yes, she did.
08:16Wait a minute.
08:16What's the last thing she gave you?
08:18Are things not working out with Doug Rox?
08:20Didn't your mom give you a sex toy a while ago?
08:22No.
08:23She gave me those cards for Christmas.
08:25Sex cards?
08:25That's right.
08:25The sex cards.
08:26All right.
08:27So, in all fairness, on the Sephora website, this is listed as a facial massage cleaner.
08:35It's the clean, smart facial cleansing device that happens to sound like this.
08:45It has four customizable modes.
08:48Am I damaging my microphone by putting this on there?
08:50I don't think you're helping your microphone.
08:51And that's not, by the way, that's not a euphemism, by the way.
08:54All right.
08:54I have a question.
08:55The top half of it, the top half of it is obviously for your face.
08:59What's the bottom half of it for?
09:00The bottom half is where you turn it on.
09:02Yeah.
09:03I don't think any of it's for the face, Froggy.
09:05All right.
09:05This is like the old Harry Potter wand.
09:09So, remember they had the Harry Potter flying broomstick that vibrated?
09:15The Quidditch.
09:17Yeah.
09:17I'm going to put the device onto my camera.
09:20Because, folks, if you don't know this, the entire MJ Morning Show is live on video every morning.
09:25We stream the whole show, many cameras in the studio.
09:28I'm going to take this device.
09:30I'm going to put it on the camera and see if I can vibrate the camera.
09:33Of course, yeah.
09:34Is it vibrating the camera?
09:35Dude, that thing is powerful.
09:36Oh, my God.
09:37Hey, Coop, is that vibrating the camera?
09:38Yeah, it's moving around.
09:39Oh, it's out of focus now.
09:41You're breaking the camera, MJ.
09:43The camera's like, oh, my God, give me more.
09:46Faster.
09:48See, look, Roxanne feels better, right?
09:50The camera now thinks it's in a relationship with MJ.
09:52All right, Roxanne, are we backing you off an HR complaint now?
09:55You are laughing a little bit.
09:56Oh, you've done everything right to this point, right?
09:59Everything that you've done, you've really dotted your eyes and crossed your T's.
10:01Well, this is the second time I've done it.
10:03But wait a minute.
10:04How about the fact...
10:04This is the second time that Froggy's gone through my stuff.
10:06But how about the fact that we just had a story in the last segment.
10:11We just did a story about a woman at the Walmart in Largo.
10:16Who stole a vibrator.
10:18Right.
10:18That's not a vibrator.
10:19Well, hang on a minute.
10:20Well, it doesn't.
10:21I mean, by definition.
10:22We had a lady...
10:23We just did a...
10:24Folks, last segment on the show, we were doing some morons in the news stories, and a Clearwater
10:29woman was arrested because she walked out of the Largo Walmart with a plus one personal
10:36massager.
10:37And that's complete proof that that thing you're holding in your hand right now,
10:41that belongs to me, is not a personal massager like that.
10:44Okay.
10:45Because I didn't even think of it.
10:46Okay.
10:47What?
10:47First of all, that's the biggest lie I've ever heard in my whole life.
10:50Second of all, just because they call it a facial massager, that's just a cover-up
10:53for a...
10:54Oh, this is great.
10:56All right, Rox, calm down.
10:57You don't need to go to HR.
10:58You can come to me with all your complaints, okay?
10:59We don't even have HR here anymore.
11:01It's like somebody...
11:02Remember, I thought I heard alcohol bottles in her purse?
11:05Oh, that's right.
11:06Oh, that's the other time you...
11:07Yeah.
11:07Because it was clinking and clanking in your purse, and Froggy thought that you were getting all
11:10sauced up, and then you had little glass liquor bottles, you know, those little onesies
11:16that you...
11:16I probably should be.
11:18All right, here's your...
11:19Who thought Froggy would be the inebriation police around here?
11:21For real?
11:22I was like, she's definitely drunk.
11:24But Roxanne, seriously, we have the noise coming from your purse.
11:27We didn't know what it was.
11:27Yeah, yeah.
11:27Did you want to hold this?
11:28Because the guys have passed it around, and...
11:30I don't want to touch it.
11:31You want to...
11:31You might want to sanitize the noise.
11:33Have you used it on your face yet?
11:34Of course I have.
11:35Does it work?
11:36I mean, you tell me.
11:37I just had a birthday yesterday.
11:39I'm trying to, like, get the circulation going, keep my skin looking good.
11:42No, it's looking radiant.
11:43You look phenomenal.
11:44It looks...
11:44Am I keeping out of HR's office by the...
11:46Well, happy birthday, and you enjoy that.
11:49Listen, we didn't know it was in your purse.
11:50Froggy didn't know.
11:51As he was...
11:52Froggy was investigating this vibrating noise.
11:56Froggy's investigating a bomb threat, potentially.
11:59Yeah, I didn't know what was going on.
12:01I thought it was a threat.
12:02Well, let's investigate a little further and see what it might be.
12:06Hey, let me tell you right now.
12:07Do you remember after 9-1-1 or 9-11?
12:12After 9-11, do you remember everything was a bomb?
12:15Remember...
12:15Do you remember what happened, like, with the anthrax mailings?
12:18Oh, yeah.
12:19And then every...
12:19Like, if somebody left a grocery bag on the ground outside their car for two seconds,
12:25bomb squad was there.
12:27Do you remember that?
12:27Bomb squad.
12:28Mm-hmm.
12:28Oh, listen.
12:29You go back, you know, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, the police would have been here with
12:33that vibrating.
12:34You know, we would have had to evacuate the studio.
12:36Oh, sure.
12:36They would have had the robot dog come in here and secure your purse and then blow it
12:41up.
12:42It's just us next to it.
12:43I guess...
12:44Roxanne has a personal pleasure device.
12:48No, no, no.
12:49Do not.
12:49Can you please stop saying that?
12:51Because people are just going to...
12:53It's the robot.
12:53Hang on.
12:54In all fairness, the particular device vibrating in Roxanne's purse is listed as a facial cleanser
13:03massager.
13:03I got a 35-minute drive to work.
13:05I got to find things to do in the car.
13:07How about...
13:07Whoa!
13:08That's not helping your case at all.
13:10What are you saying?
13:11Do you want to retract that statement?
13:13I got to find things to do.
13:15How about keeping your hands on the wheel?
13:17Roxanne!
13:17Let's start with that.
13:19Her hands are at 10 and 6.
13:22Oh, it's 10 and 2.
13:24Yeah, right.
13:25Hands are at 10 and 2.
13:26That's where it's supposed to be.
13:27That's where it's supposed to be.
13:28Yeah.
13:29I pulled you over today because you're swerving all over the place.
13:33Hang on a minute.
13:34Back and forth.
13:35Back and forth.
13:35We have audio.
13:39Hang on a minute.
13:41This is Roxanne's drive-in this morning.
13:43I was wondering why I saw Roxanne backing over that speed bump three times, pulling into
13:51the parking lot in the morning.
13:53Roxanne!
13:54All right, Roxanne, we were just trying to investigate the...
13:57Okay, so did you solve the investigation?
13:59You know what it is now, for the record.
14:01Yes.
14:02There's no record.
14:04It's a cover.
14:05They list it as a facial massage device.
14:08There you go.
14:09That's exactly what it is.
14:10That's exactly what it is.