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00:00¶¶
00:30and I'm ready to go.
00:32I'm ready.
00:34I'm ready.
00:36Let's take a look.
00:40I'm ready.
00:42I'm ready.
00:44I'm ready.
00:46Tom!
00:48I'm ready to go.
00:50I'm ready to go.
00:52Tom?
00:54I'm ready to go.
00:56Tom?
00:58What? Oh, Tom, you haven't done your back again.
01:01No, no, no. I've just been butted.
01:06Well, don't laugh. Oh.
01:09Goodbye.
01:10Well, it wasn't one of the chickens.
01:13It was that killer goat of ours. What? Little Geraldine?
01:16Little Geraldine. Rhinoceros in goat's clothing.
01:19I'd never have any trouble with her.
01:21Oh, no, you wouldn't, would you, all girls together?
01:25Yeah. Why has she suddenly got so stroppy?
01:28Puberty.
01:29Oh, don't be ridiculous. Goats don't have puberty.
01:34Do they?
01:35They've stirred me.
01:37Oh, dear, you don't have to go to America to see Disneyland.
01:40Stop moaning and eat your lunch. It's a nice soup.
01:44Oh, smashing. I think it's this leek soup that's giving me these tremendous muscles, you know.
01:47Oh, that's a shame, cos it's not leek.
01:50It is.
01:52It's not.
01:54That's funny. I could have sworn I'd put some potatoes in there.
01:57You picked some leeks from the front garden.
01:59No, I didn't.
02:01Well, I didn't.
02:02So?
02:03I'm just saying I didn't pick any leeks from the front garden.
02:07Now, let's see.
02:08You didn't pick any leeks and I didn't pick any leeks.
02:11That's why we're having potato soup.
02:13No, no, no, no, no, you're missing the point. See?
02:16Only because it's so obscure.
02:17Look, you haven't picked any leeks and I haven't picked any leeks,
02:21but there's some leeks missing. So what's happened to them?
02:23Are you sure?
02:24Am I sure?
02:25Is a shepherd sure when some of his flock go missing?
02:28No.
02:29I planted 96 leeks. There are now only 88. That's six short.
02:33Eight.
02:34I said eight.
02:36Perhaps they died. Perhaps the cat's been watering them.
02:39That would wither them. It wouldn't make them disappear.
02:43No. Somebody's been pinching them.
02:45Oh.
02:46Yeah. Think we ought to call the police?
02:48Well, I don't quite see the flying squad belting down here over eight leeks.
02:52No.
02:53Perhaps they've got a leeks squad.
02:54They'd be Welsh.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Long way to come, isn't it?
03:00We won't bother.
03:03No, all right.
03:04Now, honestly, if the traffic in London gets much worse, it's simply going to grind to a halt.
03:10Do you know, it took me 45 minutes to get across London Bridge this evening.
03:14Good Lord, that's 15 minutes more than last week.
03:17Yeah, and then to cap it all, just as I turn into the avenue,
03:19some stupid bitch on a Yamaha nearly took my wing mirror off.
03:23It wouldn't be Miss Mountshaft by any chance, hurrying to rehearse The Sound of Music.
03:26Please, don't mention that show in this house.
03:29You don't know what it's like being married to Julie Andrews.
03:31Oh, come on, Dad.
03:33Getting that part could make Margot a star.
03:35At Serbiton Town Hall?
03:37In any case, she's totally mis...
03:40She's totally miscast.
03:41I mean, can you really see Margot as an apprentice nun?
03:46Well...
03:47Can you, Tom?
03:48What?
03:49I said, can you really see Margot as an apprentice nun?
03:51They're called apostates, aren't they?
03:53Always in an operation.
03:56Do tell me if I'm boring you, won't you?
03:58Oh, sorry, sorry.
03:58I was just looking at my leeks.
04:00Why, are you expecting them to elope with the Brussels sprouts?
04:04Somebody's been pinching them.
04:05It was all right when it was once, but it's three times now.
04:08Really?
04:09You and your vegetables, you're about as boring as Margot
04:11and a sound of bloody music.
04:19I'm sorry to be so long,
04:20but one does have to keep such a careful eye
04:22on cotelette d'agneau au Duc de la Galette.
04:26Oh, lovely.
04:27Lamb cutlets.
04:29Yes.
04:30Well, I thought meat for the main course,
04:32because your blood gets so little iron these days, Barbara.
04:35Oh, we do eat spinach.
04:37Well, it's hardly the same thing, is it?
04:39Dessert is going to be a total surprise,
04:42so I thought we'd start with something terribly predictable.
04:45Leek soup.
04:45Fresh leeks?
04:46Of course.
04:47Why the significant glances?
04:48Well, some leeks are missing from our front garden.
05:04Not that you're not welcome to the Margot, I mean, we have already...
05:07Tom, you really should have joined the diplomatic corps.
05:09Well, I wasn't implying that she stole them.
05:13Please tell me what that is, Tom.
05:15It's a bill from Harrods.
05:18And would you please read aloud the item under quail's eggs?
05:23Two pounds of leeks.
05:25Thank you very much.
05:26I rest my case.
05:29There's no case to answer.
05:30I wasn't accusing you of anything.
05:31Oh, I thought you were.
05:34Of course we weren't.
05:36Our best friend,
05:37somebody who takes the trouble to give us meat
05:39and a super-surprise dessert.
05:40I can't wait to see what it is, Margot.
05:43It's bomb surprise.
05:44Oh, dear.
05:47Oh, no.
05:48Whoever it is that's pinching our leeks is a nasty piece of work.
05:51Like Jerry.
05:52Yes.
05:53Sixteen is out of now.
05:54Sixteen.
05:54Don't tell me you number them.
05:55Certainly.
05:57You know them all by name, presumably.
06:00What a lot of fuss about nothing.
06:01It's not nothing to us, mate.
06:02Not just a few leeks out of the garden.
06:04It's part of our capital.
06:05It doesn't matter how many.
06:06It's still stealing.
06:07I couldn't agree more, Tom.
06:11But you never agree with Tom.
06:13Well, I do on this occasion.
06:16This leak business is symptomatic of the moral decline in this country
06:20since the fall of the last conservative government.
06:22If it isn't young girls with obscene innuendi on their T-shirts,
06:25it's trade union leaders haranguing us from the safety of a television studio.
06:30It's open-necked shirts and trouser suits at the Dorchester.
06:33It's Monday to Friday becoming Monday through Friday.
06:36T-H-R-U, by the way.
06:38And to cap it all, it's test matches being marred by banner-waving thugs at Lord's.
06:45Well, that's opened up the discussion a bit.
06:49Very well.
06:49Let's confine it to leaks.
06:51Oh, God.
06:51Where's the alcohol?
06:53Whoever is stealing your leaks, Tom,
06:54is showing a total disregard for private property and should be punished.
06:58Right.
06:58They still chop thieves' hands off in Saudi Arabia, you know.
07:00Well, what do you propose doing?
07:02Lying in wait for the chap with a scimitar?
07:03I'm just saying that a man has a right to protect this property
07:06and I intend to.
07:06Yes, and if there's any trouble,
07:07I won't be standing in the background twittering.
07:09I shall be in there with a garden rake.
07:11Well, I think you're taking the hell of a thing far too seriously.
07:13You're making mountains out of molehills.
07:15Well, it's better than taking nothing seriously.
07:17What do you mean?
07:18Well, music, for example.
07:21I mean, most blokes would be proud to have their wives
07:23playing the lead in The Sound of Music.
07:28What has Jerry been saying?
07:30Oh, don't tell tales.
07:33I don't expect he meant it anyway.
07:36Jerry, what have you been saying about The Sound of Music?
07:52Cut it off!
08:05Don't do that.
08:06Now look,
08:07you can't stay here all night.
08:08It's ridiculous.
08:09Now, come to bed.
08:09Come on.
08:10Alright, alright.
08:13They must pinch them at night.
08:15They're always about in the day.
08:20All right, there you are. This is the citizen's arrest.
08:39Can you hear me? Bloody sorcery.
08:46And let that be a lesson to you.
08:50I'm not going to...
09:00Are you sure that goat went for you again this morning?
09:03Yes, I'd have run that galt it again.
09:06It's funny, you've just been licking my hand.
09:09All right, all right, so you got away with goats, I got away with teapots.
09:14All right.
09:16All right.
09:17All right.
09:18All right.
09:19All right.
09:20All right.
09:21All right.
09:22All right.
09:23All right.
09:24All right.
09:25All right.
09:26All right.
09:27All right.
09:28All right.
09:29All right.
09:30All right.
09:31All right.
09:32All right.
09:33All right.
09:34All right.
09:35All right.
09:36All right.
09:37All right.
09:38All right.
09:39All right.
09:40All right.
09:41All right.
09:42Well, Wyatt, when you finished cleaning up Dodge City, perhaps you could do the same with
09:48Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
09:58Well, Wyatt, when you finished cleaning up Dodge City,
10:01perhaps you could do the same with the pigsty.
10:03Yeah, OK, OK, I was just... Just playing cowboys.
10:07I'm worried about you. Ever since you pelleted that bloke,
10:10you've been gun crazy. Nonsense.
10:12Mind you, I'd have been all right, wouldn't I, in Dodge City?
10:16What as? A dance-hall girl.
10:20Look, that was a pretty fancy piece of shooting last night, you know.
10:23To get a bloke on the backside, one shot, from the hip, in the dark,
10:26at, what, 100 yards? Can't be bad.
10:29Better than missing a chicken at six inches.
10:32It ducked, Barbara, will you kindly remember?
10:35This was a different sort of feeling, something basic,
10:38like a homesteader defending his land from marauding Indians. Hurons, probably.
10:43No, not in Texas. Hurons are bald and come from Canada.
10:46Well, how would you know that? I read it.
10:48Where? Where's your source?
10:49Your boy's book of knowledge.
10:51Don't split hairs, Barbara.
10:53I'm just saying that leek thief got what he deserved, and I'm glad.
10:55So am I.
10:56That'll teach him to meddle with the fastest gun in Surbiton.
11:01Oh, front door. I'll go.
11:03I hope he's a driving instructor.
11:05I hope he has to sit down all day. That'll teach him.
11:20Who was it?
11:22An officer of the court.
11:24You know that leek thief?
11:25Yes.
11:26The swine's doing me for common assault.
11:35Very well.
11:37Now, Mr Bennet, in consideration of the cross summons brought against you by Mr Good,
11:42I have this to say.
11:44You have, on your own admission, stolen a total of 18 leeks from Mr Good's garden.
11:50Such a theft might be considered by some to be petty.
11:53I consider theft to be theft.
11:55I therefore set your fine at 10 pounds.
11:58Have you anything to say?
12:00No, sir.
12:01Very well. You may step down.
12:07Now, Mr Good.
12:08Oh, yes.
12:09Yes.
12:11You, on your own admission, did shoot Mr Bennet in the left buttock with an air gun pellet.
12:16True.
12:17I know it's true.
12:19Sorry.
12:20I am, of course, totally unable to condone you taking the law into your own hands.
12:24The law is enforced by a fairly well-known body of men and women known as the Metropolitan Police.
12:30I would ask you to bear this in mind.
12:39Nevertheless, I am cognizant of the fact that your lifestyle is somewhat unusual
12:43and that therefore 18 leeks have rather more significance for you than they do for a normal person.
12:50I am therefore prepared to show leniency.
12:53You will be bound over for three months.
12:56Have you anything to say?
12:58Thank you, sir. Yes, I have.
13:00I would just like to add this.
13:03I have in the past
13:05frequently thought of judges and magistrates as pompous old twits.
13:10Have you?
13:11Yes.
13:12But
13:14I was greatly impressed by the way you conducted your stroke this morning.
13:18And moreover,
13:19I realise that the establishment says that I must have a token slap on the wrist.
13:23This I accept.
13:24How very kind of you.
13:25I must however point out that being bound over is rather more than a token slap on the wrist.
13:30Is it?
13:31Yes, it is.
13:32Oh.
13:33It means that you will sign a solemn undertaking to be a law-abiding citizen for the next three months.
13:38Oh, I will.
13:39Very well then.
13:40Unless, of course, if some other joker comes and pinches my stuff.
13:42Mr. Good, when the law passes sentence, the culprit is not empowered to add provisos of his own.
13:52Oh.
13:54Oh.
13:55Well, in that case I can't accept the law.
13:58I shall just have to refuse to be bound over.
14:00But you can't.
14:01I just have.
14:02You're bound.
14:03Now look.
14:04Now look.
14:05I can't make a promise I might have to break.
14:07If I am provoked.
14:08I'm the one who's being provoked.
14:10Clark.
14:11Get out while you're winning, you bloody fool.
14:13No, I will.
14:14No, it's Jim.
14:15Don't you talk.
14:16Don't worry, I will.
14:17Be quiet.
14:18Very well, thank you.
14:20Mr. Good, I must warn you that unless you reconsider, I shall have no alternative but to implement what the law demands in the situation you have created.
14:29I'm very sorry, but I've got principles of my own.
14:32I cannot promise not to defend what's mine, even if it means going to prison for one or two days.
14:36And that is your final word?
14:38It is.
14:39In that case, you will go to prison for 28 days to reconsider.
14:4328?
14:44Next case.
15:09Hello.
15:10Hello.
15:11Hello.
15:12You all right?
15:13Me?
15:14Yeah, I'm all right.
15:15Are you all right?
15:16Yes, I'm all right.
15:17Are you all right?
15:18Yes, I'm all right.
15:19Oh, that's all right.
15:20Oh, that's all right.
15:21Oh, that's all right then.
15:22How's Pentonville?
15:24How's Pentonville?
15:25I don't like it very much.
15:26No.
15:27Is it warm out?
15:28Yes.
15:29A bit muggy, though.
15:30I work in the kitchens.
15:31No.
15:32Do you?
15:33Do you?
15:34Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you.
15:35What?
15:36Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you.
15:37What?
15:38What?
15:39One of our warders here keeps parakeets.
15:40Does he?
15:41Yeah.
15:42Mr. Richards, his name is.
15:43How's it?
15:44How's Pentonville?
15:45I don't like it very much.
15:47No.
15:49Is it warm out?
15:50Yes.
15:54It a bit muggy, though.
15:56I work in the kitchens.
15:59Do you?
16:00Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you.
16:03What?
16:04One of our warders here keeps parakeets.
16:06Does he?
16:07Yes, Mr. Richards, his name is.
16:09Have you seen them?
16:13What?
16:15His parakeets.
16:17Oh, no, well, they're in his house.
16:19Oh, yes, of course, they would be, wouldn't they?
16:23Why are we having this ridiculous conversation?
16:25I don't know, Tom, I don't miss you.
16:28I miss you too, love.
16:29There are 2,000 of us in here, but it's ever so lonely.
16:34Not all in the same cell.
16:36Oh, no, no.
16:36I've started a tunnel, you know.
16:40Oh, I thought you might.
16:42Oh, yes, yes.
16:44If my reckoning's correct, I should come out on the southbound platform of Baker Street Station.
16:49Make sure you miss the rush hour.
16:54Look, love, I did do the right thing, didn't I?
16:57Of course you did.
16:58I just didn't think it would cost 28 days.
17:0026, sir.
17:02Blimey, is that all I've done?
17:04I'll be tired of drag when you're in prison.
17:06Do you want to see Jerry?
17:09I didn't realise he was here.
17:10Mm-mm, brought me.
17:12Oh, he is a good friend, isn't he?
17:17You are a silly sod.
17:21Thanks very much.
17:22Are you keeping it well?
17:23Well, you are, aren't you?
17:23I mean, you and your precious principles.
17:25You couldn't just say, thank you, sir, yes, sir, and go off home, could you?
17:27Couldn't just crawl like any sensible person.
17:30No, I couldn't.
17:31No, he couldn't.
17:31Anyway, I've done two days already, another 26, and that'll be the end of that.
17:34Oh, no, it won't.
17:36Don't you see, this 28 days isn't an alternative to being bound over.
17:39You've just been sent here to think things out.
17:41And if at the end of 28 days you still refuse to be bound over,
17:43you get another 28 days, and so on, and so on.
17:46But that's not fair.
17:48I could be here for years.
17:49Well, why don't you agree to be bound over?
17:50You could be home by this time tomorrow.
17:52There's only one thing to say to that kind of abject surrender.
17:54Oh, dear, what?
17:57Warder, I want to see the governor.
18:09There it is.
18:10Yeah.
18:11I feel like the Count of Monte Cristo.
18:12Card for you.
18:17From you?
18:17Mm-hmm.
18:18Mm-hmm.
18:24Welcome home, Scarface.
18:28Most women would have cried.
18:29I did that when you were in prison.
18:40Mm, home, home, home.
18:42They call it your castle, don't they?
18:44And it is.
18:45Shall we build a drawbridge?
18:46Mm, sometimes I'd like to.
18:48Sometimes I'd like to create our house and garden
18:49into an independent state with laws of its own.
18:52Somewhere we could just lock ourselves away.
18:54That's rich, considering where you've come from.
18:56Oh, thank you very much, dear.
18:58Break up my criminal record.
18:59Mm.
19:02Oh, I'm tired.
19:03Well, I haven't even sleeping.
19:05No, I'm not tired.
19:06LAUGHTER
19:07LAUGHTER
19:08Oh, I see.
19:14Hmm.
19:15Well, it's traditional, you know.
19:17Returning prisoner and wife.
19:19Hmm.
19:20We mustn't let these old traditions die, must we?
19:25Surprise, surprise!
19:26Hi!
19:27Welcome home, Tom.
19:30Oh, my goodness, you've got an awful prison pallor about you.
19:33After three days.
19:36Here we are, then.
19:36This will bring the roses back to his little cheeks.
19:38Oh, Jerry, how lovely.
19:40And may I say, Tom,
19:41how proud I am of the stand you have taken,
19:44and I don't care who knows it,
19:46but if anyone should ask, you've been on holiday.
19:49LAUGHTER
19:49LAUGHTER
19:50Oh, well, now, that's going to be a bit awkward.
19:54Why?
19:54You see, Barbara and I are giving a party
19:56for the lads who got out with me today,
19:57and when they meet the neighbours, well...
19:59They mustn't, they mustn't!
20:00Oh, come on, Margot!
20:00Oh, you like them nice enough fellows,
20:02especially Sledgehammer Harris.
20:05Oh, was that the one that kept calling you pistol this morning?
20:08No, that was Slicer Wansted.
20:10And then, Mafia people, one or two.
20:13LAUGHTER
20:13Who was it said,
20:16better a witty fool than a foolish wit?
20:18LAUGHTER
20:19LAUGHTER
20:20Well, it's great to be home.
20:24Let's get this down, I say.
20:25Yes, well, I think we ought to have a toast.
20:27All right, do you want a sitting or standing, Margaret?
20:29Uh, standing, I think, Barbara.
20:32Gerry?
20:32What?
20:33Toast, please, Gerry.
20:35Oh, er...
20:36Er, to absent friends at the Ville.
20:40Gerry!
20:41I'll do it.
20:43Here's to Tom.
20:45Although I often find his general behaviour
20:47irritating in the extreme,
20:49I think we all applaud him
20:51for having the courage to go to prison
20:53rather than kowtow to authority,
20:56which is biased in favour of the Yahoo.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:59Tom?
21:04Well, I did kowtow in the end.
21:07I signed my piece of paper, didn't I?
21:08Oh, come, Tom, you did everything you could.
21:10You mustn't blame yourself.
21:11No, I don't blame myself.
21:13I blame that moron who stole the leeks in the first place.
21:15Yes, so do I.
21:15I hope he gets leek poisoning.
21:17And I hope that inflation cripples him.
21:19What a lovely lot you are.
21:21Come on, it's all in the past.
21:22Forgive and forget.
21:23Eh, Tom?
21:24Um, well, how shall I put it?
21:27Um, no.
21:29Hello.
21:30Hello.
21:31Hello.
21:32It's, uh, got a bit out of hand, didn't it?
21:48Yes, it did a bit.
21:52Look, Mr. Good, could we have a chat?
21:55No.
21:55Oh, go on.
22:04Please.
22:09All right, then, you'd better come in the house.
22:12Duck!
22:12There are 74 leeks there.
22:41Sit down.
22:42I've called before, a couple of times.
22:48Yes, left with a handful of leeks on both occasions.
22:50No, I mean, just recently, I, well, I wanted to talk to you.
22:54Well, I wouldn't have been in, would I?
22:55I was in prison, remember?
22:57Look, Mr. Good, I feel awful about this.
23:01I don't normally go around stealing things from people's gardens, you know.
23:04Then why start with me?
23:06Well, it's a bit difficult to explain, really.
23:09I live in this block of flats, do you see?
23:11Concrete everywhere.
23:12We don't even know in a window box.
23:15Somehow to keep walking by your garden every day
23:17and seeing those fresh green vegetables growing in it.
23:19Oh, I see.
23:20Being a have not entitles you to become an I will take, does it?
23:22No, I'm just trying to make you understand that it was, well, it was an aberration.
23:27Yes, well, too many people aberrating today, far too many.
23:30Yes, I did hijack that plane, my lord, and it was only an aberration.
23:34Yes, I did pump out the tanks off the Cornish Revealer.
23:36I must have had a quick aberrate without thinking.
23:38Look, I'm not talking about the big things.
23:41I'm talking about the little things, when you pretend it really doesn't matter.
23:45It's cheating, that's what it really is.
23:47You know, it's rather like taking the ball with one foot over the boundary ropes
23:50and then claiming the catch.
23:51I fail to see...
23:53Oh, you...
23:55You play cricket, do you?
23:57Yes.
24:01A cup of tea?
24:03Oh, thank you, yes.
24:07Who do you play for?
24:08Ah, local Sunday side.
24:10No great shakes.
24:11Yeah.
24:13So, I, um...
24:15I had a trial for the Surrey Colts once, you know.
24:19No.
24:20Really?
24:21Oh, what do you do?
24:22Bat?
24:23Bone?
24:23Bit of both, bit of both.
24:24Uh-huh.
24:26Yes, I, uh...
24:27Go in number four to, uh...
24:29Help the score along.
24:30Spend it.
24:31Bone a bit of swing of stuff, you know.
24:36The one that leaves the bat and the one that, uh...
24:38Nips the back off the scene.
24:39Ah-ha.
24:40Now, there's the ball I've never been able to bow.
24:42Have you, eh?
24:42Really?
24:43Oh.
24:43Well, it's just a matter of getting the right grip, you know.
24:45Uh-huh.
24:50I told my wife to leave that job to me.
24:53Oh, that's you.
24:55I'd really like to apologise to her, too.
24:58Well, she's grazing the goat on the common.
24:59Please, sit down, please.
25:00No.
25:00Anyway, get him out of the ball that nips back off the scene.
25:02Ah-ha-ha.
25:03I remember chatting to Alec Bedster about it.
25:05Well...
25:06Yes.
25:07You see, the real secret, well, the art of the thing is, uh...
25:11Well, I can't really show you without a ball.
25:12Ha-ha-ha.
25:14Look, Mr Good.
25:15Tom, Tom.
25:16Tom, you wouldn't, uh, open for us, would you?
25:20I mean, if you have a free Sunday.
25:21Pardon?
25:21Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah.
25:25Well, uh, the thing is, um...
25:26Harry.
25:27Harry, yes.
25:27The thing is, I'd love to, but, um...
25:29Well, it's the garden.
25:30You see, the old garden.
25:31You've got to keep on top of it.
25:32Yes, quite.
25:34Oh, Lord.
25:34That brings up the subject of leaks again, doesn't it?
25:37Oh, blow the leaks, Harry.
25:39Who cares about 18 leaks?
25:41No.
25:42I had no right to take that summons out against you in the first place.
25:45But that pellet did hurt.
25:46You had every right to take out that summons, Harry.
25:49And you had every right to shoot me, Tom.
25:51Well, perhaps I did, but let me say this.
25:53It takes generosity of spirit to come round and apologise the way you have.
25:57It was the least I could do.
26:01Look, uh, well, couldn't you even open perhaps one Sunday in the month next season?
26:05We'll see, eh?
26:08OK.
26:11Look, Tom, uh, I don't want to appear rude, but, uh, I'm a painter and decorator.
26:17There's nothing wrong in that, Harry.
26:20No, I mean, uh, well, I did notice that your, uh, exterior paintwork does need a bit of redoing.
26:25Yes, it is a bit plenty, isn't it, Harry?
26:27Well, I'll do it for you.
26:28I'd like to.
26:30Don't be silly, Harry.
26:32No.
26:32I paid that fine to the court, you know, not to you.
26:35Well, I just feel that I owe you something personally.
26:38Look, I wouldn't be able to do it till next month, but, uh, what if I come around on Sunday and we can talk about colours?
26:44But you were playing cricket.
26:45It's the football season.
26:47Oh, yes, yes.
26:49Well, if you really insist, Harry.
26:51I do, Tom, I do.
26:53But now, listen.
26:54Any time you're passing and you fancy a couple of leaks, you take them.
26:57Don't ask me.
26:57Just help yourself.
26:58No, I couldn't do that.
27:01I won't let you paint my house.
27:03All right.
27:04Right.
27:08Gosh, it's nice tea, this.
27:09Oh, thanks so much.
27:10Yeah.
27:10Uh, Harry, what do you think of our magistrate?
27:14If you ask me, I thought he was a bit power-crazed.
27:16My sentiments, exactly.
27:18I'll bet he's never played cricket.
27:20Well, of course he hasn't.
27:22Probably think Tony Gregg is a grocer's.
27:24Oh, I tell you what, Harry, what about a drop of wine?
27:32Well, uh, oh, good Lord, is that the time?
27:35No, I'd love to, but, uh, you see, I have to pick up a prescription for Pauline's leg.
27:39Oh, quite.
27:41Well, Sunday, perhaps.
27:43You're on.
27:45No, after you, Tom.
27:46After you, Harry.
27:48Right.
27:48Oh, well, Sunday, then.
27:59I'll be there.
28:00Don't bother about lunch.
28:01You're eating with us.
28:02Pretty kind of you, Tom.
28:04My pleasure, mate.
28:04Bye.
28:05Bye.
28:10Hey, Harry.
28:11Come on, pick some leeks.
28:13Oh, no, really, I couldn't.
28:15Come on, I told you, pick them.
28:17Help yourself.
28:19All right, Tom, I will.
28:30Your sort never learn, do they?
28:32No, it's, um, your husband said it was all right.
28:35Rubbish!
28:36Never in a million years.
28:38Geraldine!
28:39Kill!
28:40Kill, Geraldine!
28:41Kill!
28:42Geraldine!
28:44Kill!
28:44Don't get away!
28:45Oh, Dave!
28:46Heal!
28:46Sit!
28:47Sit!