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00:00I'll be right back.
00:30MUSIC
00:38Cool.
00:41Look at that. Look at it.
00:43Craftsman made two slats in the old days. Not now, though. In the old days, yes.
00:47That's from the old days. You found it in the shed when we moved in.
00:51Did I? Yes, if I remember rightly.
00:53You said you were going to send it on to the bloke who'd left it behind.
00:57Welcome to it now. Bit of old rubbish.
01:00Don't go on at the fork. It must have dug about 6,000 acres by now.
01:04I wasn't digging with it. I was banning an estate with it.
01:08What do you use for digging? A sledgehammer?
01:12If they'd made longbows out of this tap, we'd have been in a fine old set at Edging Court, wouldn't we?
01:16Sorry, you came away with my hand. I'll have to chuck me arrows.
01:24And it's raining.
01:26We're having a little moan, aren't we?
01:28Well, it's important. We need all the daylight hours we can get.
01:30The nights are drawing in, you see.
01:32Yes, well, they usually do in autumn.
01:34Yes, but they're keeping us inside.
01:36We shouldn't just be sitting about doing nothing.
01:39True enough. You shouldn't.
01:41No.
01:42We should be using these long evenings like, um...
01:45like the crofters do.
01:47They don't just sit about chatting on the long evenings.
01:49They mend their nets and knit fair old jumpers.
01:51You can't knit.
01:53Neither can you.
01:55Well, mend your nets.
01:57I haven't got any nets.
01:59I'm just saying we should be utilizing the time.
02:01Oh, yes. You mean like mending our working clothes, that sort of thing.
02:04Exactly. Now, you, for example, should be, er...
02:07doing exactly what you are doing, which makes you a clever dick.
02:09Any floorboards need nailing down?
02:13No.
02:15You creosote the chicken house.
02:17It's too dark in the garden.
02:19Well, I can't sew, can I?
02:21I never claimed to be able to sew.
02:23Well, mend your fork.
02:25The other's going to do that.
02:27I had that in mind to do that before you even said it.
02:29See, if you're at home of an evening and you've got a broken fork...
02:31Well, mend your fork.
02:33The other's going to do that.
02:35I had that in mind to do that before you even said it.
02:37If you're at home of an evening and you've got a broken fork,
02:39that's the kind of thing you should be doing.
02:41Well, that's typical, isn't it?
02:43Just when you get started on a job, interruptions.
02:48Hello, Tom. It's the only Marge here.
02:50Hello, Marge.
02:51I want it on the telephone.
02:52I can't be. I haven't got a telephone.
02:54Nice.
02:55Oh, I see. Thanks. Who is it?
02:56I don't know. It's a Mr. Coles.
02:59Never heard of him.
03:00You haven't been gardening in a dinner jacket, have you?
03:03Certainly. You've heard of gentlemen farmers, haven't you?
03:06Hello, Marge.
03:10Hello, dear.
03:12Barbara, Tom is wearing a dinner jacket for manual work.
03:16He'll ruin it.
03:17Doesn't matter.
03:18I'd say you have to go to a function.
03:20Well, we don't go to functions anymore, Marge.
03:22No, you don't, do you?
03:24Never put it at a dinner jacket in a muddy garden.
03:27Well, I tell you what. Think of it as just a coat.
03:31Mm-hmm. Yes.
03:33Well, that's it. That is all it is.
03:37No, Barbara. That's like calling salmon mousse fish paste.
03:41Look, Bargo, as far as Tom and I are concerned, it doesn't really matter what it looks like as long as it's serviceable.
03:48Oh, I'm sorry, Barbara. I didn't realise you were reduced to scraping the bottom of your sartorial barrel.
03:54Funny, I thought we were just making use of the things we've got.
03:57Brave, brave, Barbara.
04:01Oh, how extraordinary. It must be a trick of the light.
04:04One leg looks orange and one leg looks blue.
04:07Right, you've got it.
04:09Snazzy, aren't they?
04:10But you can't wear those.
04:11Why not?
04:12Because one leg is orange and one leg is blue.
04:15Well, I don't mind if the pigs don't mind.
04:18You'll never know. This could be the in-gear for swine herds this year.
04:22Barbara. Hmm?
04:24Look at me.
04:26On Saturday morning, I shall be shopping in the High Street.
04:32Wow.
04:34And I shall have my checkbook with me.
04:37Yes?
04:38Well, call it an early Christmas present, if you like.
04:41No, thank you, Margo, all the same, but this stuff will do for us fine.
04:45I mean, honestly, now look, what is wrong with that?
04:49Just as a pair of working trousers.
04:51One leg is orange and one leg is blue.
04:54Well, kid, you're going to be a star.
04:58Really?
04:59Who was that on the telephone, Tom?
05:01The bloke is going to make Barbara a star.
05:02He's a journalist. He wants to do a feature on us.
05:04No.
05:05Yeah, he got talking to Ron in the pub and Ron mentioned us and self-sufficiency and he wants to write about it.
05:08How extraordinary.
05:09And you said yes?
05:10Yeah, he seemed a nice sort of fellow.
05:11Just a few pictures, a bit of blurb.
05:13Shouldn't take long.
05:14Might be a bit of a giggle.
05:15Yes, why not?
05:16I could wear my new trousers.
05:17Barbara.
05:18If one is to appear in a newspaper, one must be very careful about one's appearance.
05:24When is he coming, by the way?
05:27Tomorrow.
05:28Morning or afternoon?
05:29Morning.
05:30Have you got any string, Barbara?
05:32I think I could fix that fork.
05:33Um...
05:34Any special time in the morning?
05:35Left hand draw, I think.
05:36Sorry, Mother, are you saying?
05:37Oh, well, I just thought you might want me here to help with something.
05:41No, I don't think so, Margot, thank you.
05:44Oh.
05:45Fine.
05:46We'll leave it at that, then.
05:48You call me when the journalist is here.
05:50Should you want anything?
05:51Anything at all?
05:53I don't think we want Margot for anything, do we, Barbara?
05:56No, I don't think we want Margot for anything, Tom.
06:00Thanks all the same, Margot.
06:02Oh.
06:04Well.
06:07I'll say goodnight, then.
06:08Goodnight.
06:09Goodnight.
06:11I know what Margot could do.
06:16Yes, what?
06:18Lens a ball of string.
06:21Now, um, I'd like you to do something really interesting.
06:28Um, could you, uh, close in on each other.
06:41Um, a bit closer.
06:43Just a bit closer.
06:44Mrs. Good, could you turn and look at your husband?
06:47But I'm looking up his ear.
06:48Yes, I want it to look, uh, really natural.
06:50I don't usually stand about looking in his ear.
06:52I don't usually stand about looking in his ear.
06:55?
07:08Ah, she's here.
07:09We can point at the pigs. Lovely.
07:15Right, out of the way, Piggy. Come on.
07:23Now, then, um...
07:26Perhaps a bit more.
07:28Yes, if we go further along, we can get the trophy.
07:32Anything as long as you're happy.
07:35That's done, huh?
08:05Oh! Homemade stuff, eh? Rather. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.
08:21Mmm.
08:23Now...
08:30Just a couple of questions, Mr. Good.
08:33I think that covers it.
08:35Have you any pet hates?
08:37Yes, I can't stand cheap wine.
08:39There.
08:41Mrs. Good, I couldn't help noticing your trousers.
08:44Where did you buy them?
08:46Well, I got this leg from CNA and the rest is from Mark's.
08:51Pardon?
08:53They're mongrels. I made them up myself.
08:55Oh, I see. I see. Yes, very attractive.
08:59Just one more, Mr. Good.
09:01If anyone was thinking of leading your sort of life,
09:04what advice would you give them?
09:06Well, they'd have to marry Barbara first.
09:09They should be totally convinced of what they're doing,
09:11fit and healthy and just mad enough to be sane.
09:14Yes, I like that.
09:19She's here again.
09:24There's someone at the window.
09:27Good heavens, say there it is.
09:31Oh, hello, Margot. This is a nice surprise.
09:34Barbara?
09:35Carl?
09:36One ball of string as requested.
09:39Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company.
09:42Of course not.
09:44Mr. Coles, Mrs. Ledbetter.
09:45Oh, you must be the journalist.
09:47How do you do?
09:48Yes, how do you do?
09:49That's two T's in Ledbetter, by the way.
09:52Now, what can I tell you about myself?
09:55Well, I think it's true to say
09:57that we are Tom and Barbara's dearest friends.
10:00By we, I mean my husband, Jeremy, and myself.
10:02Jeremy is an executive in the plastics industry.
10:05I, of course, do not work apart from the odd charity.
10:09Hobbies?
10:10Well, it's no secret in Serviton
10:11that I am one of the leading lights in the music society.
10:14Oh, by the way,
10:15we're giving the sound of music at the town hall
10:17from the 23rd to the 24th.
10:20Interestingly enough, Julie Andrews played my role in the film.
10:23Now, I think you may quote me as saying,
10:29you're not writing any of the stars.
10:33No, I've got all I need for the article.
10:35It's about Mr. and Mrs. Good.
10:37Oh, I thought you might want some background information,
10:40some local colour.
10:42No, thank you.
10:45Oh, go on, Scoop.
10:47Give her a mention.
10:49Margot's played a very important part in all this.
10:51Really?
10:52Oh, yes.
10:53After all, she's had to live next door to a suburban revolution.
10:55A lot of people would turn nasty.
10:56Not Margot.
10:57No, nothing but support and encouragement.
10:59Yeah, I remember we used to try to keep pigs.
11:01Now, a lot of people poo-pooed the idea around here
11:03because of the smell.
11:04But Margot didn't, did you, Margot?
11:06Well, I...
11:08Ah, she said if you need pigs, you jolly will have pigs.
11:10Yes, and I'm sorry if I'm going to make you blush, Margot,
11:12but I'm going to tell Mr. Coles about the goat.
11:14Are you?
11:15Yes.
11:16Now, Margot has insisted on transporting our goat
11:21to and from the common for grazing in her own car.
11:24No reservations about the little pile of black cherries
11:26the goat leaves behind.
11:29You see, I think you must mention Margot.
11:32Hear, hear to that.
11:33Thick and thin, fair weather or foul, Margot has been there.
11:36Like a truss.
11:37What?
11:39A constant source of support.
11:41Yes, I'll, er, see if I can get that in.
11:47Look, I must be on my way.
11:49Thanks very much.
11:51Goodbye.
11:52You won't forget the sound of music, will you?
11:54I'll do my best.
11:56Bye-bye.
11:57Here we are.
12:00What an awfully nice man.
12:02Nice creases in his trousers.
12:04And he had black shoes.
12:06That all points to him working for one of the quality newspapers, doesn't it?
12:10I don't know.
12:12Who'd be a freelance journalist, eh?
12:14Hopping here, dashing there, writing stuff on spec in the hopes of flogging it.
12:17A freelance?
12:18Yes, and he wore black shoes too.
12:20But which newspaper is he hoping to sell the article to?
12:24Well, I don't know.
12:25The first one will buy it, I suppose.
12:26Don't you care?
12:27Not particularly.
12:28Well, I do.
12:29Why?
12:30Oh, not for myself, Barbara.
12:33Don't think that.
12:34No, I...
12:35I just thought you would be interested.
12:37After all, an article about one.
12:40Not about one, about you.
12:42Well, most people would want to see it in print.
12:45Not that I...
12:47Because after all, but...
12:50Well, I can't sit here all day.
12:56I must be off.
12:58I'll, um, see you later.
13:00Oh, thank you for the string, Margot.
13:02Bye.
13:05That's the trouble with these Orientals.
13:07You can never tell what they're thinking.
13:09Inscrutable.
13:10Come on, old legs, we've got work to do.
13:12Right, give me the creosote and I'll finish the job.
13:15I say, I wonder if we will get in the papers.
13:18Why?
13:19Well, you never know.
13:20I mean, this might be the beginning of something big.
13:22This time next month, I could be the centre spread of the Pig Breeders Gazette.
13:27Piglet of the Month.
13:28Ha-ha-ha.
13:29Ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:30Ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:31Janie, is that the papers?
13:33Ha!
13:34Yes.
13:35Paperboy must be late for school.
13:37yes paper boy must be late for school just emptied the entire contents of his
13:49sack through our letterbox no I ordered them good God why because I have felt
13:55for some time we should be more Catholic in our reading I must say this tabloid
14:00trash doesn't interest me in the slight thank you oh I see it's looking for our
14:08name in print time isn't it nonsense I'm doing it for Tom and Barbara you know
14:13they can't afford newspapers well they can we on this scale
14:17hello three nine oh seven one six four one sorry I can't hear you it's rather a bad line could you
14:29speak up coals yes mr. coals yes margot ledbetter speaking yeah I'm sorry I can't quite hear
14:39yes yes that's better oh the article yes in the what the observer how wonderful yes I'll tell them
14:54Jenny quick run and tell Tom and Barbara that we are in the quality press the observer you do find
15:01running in the morning so vulgar then walk quickly Jenny tell them please anyway why can't you go
15:09you're the one who might just have sneaked her way into the corner of one of the photographs
15:12because I have a million calls to make
15:14ah hello miss moundshaft
15:21margot ledbetter miss moundshaft if I hinted that I could get our little production mentioned in the
15:29observer yes the observer might that reawaken your interest in my design for the program cover
15:38oh you know I never really appreciated the taste of tea until we had to ration it shame we can't
15:46grow it ourselves yeah mind you it's only really camellias you know I wonder if ordinary flowering
15:50camellias no that's about as sensible as you thinking we could keep silkworms and make my stockings
15:55from them I'll just develop my genius for many folks a lot of fresh air about it this time of day
16:08I don't know Jerry you're just in time for elevenses you can't have elevenses at half past eight you
16:15can you know just get out at six o'clock things are damn cheerful looking so damn healthy there you are
16:21Jerry have some tannic acid thank you
16:29what have you just come around to cheer us up or did you want something oh yes the news your journalist
16:36friend just rang he sold you to the observer no less no really true oh good luck to him oh I bet margot's
16:44pleased please please you think he's just got a mention in the court circular oh Jerry I meant
16:49to ask you what's a solvent for creosote isn't it a bit early for crosswords no no no this is real
16:54life drama we were spraying the chicken house you see one of them put his head around the corner and
16:58got it right in the parcel's nose I don't know take it to the laundry or something anyway why are you
17:06talking about chickens how would you like to be going about with creosote all over your bum what I
17:13meant look you've just heard that you're going to be mentioned at the national press it's a go time
17:18you couldn't seem to care less there's a reason for that what we couldn't well what's it really
17:25worth a nice little read that ends up around a piece of cotton chips mind you if the article had
17:29been about Tom's water skiing oh you're creating the chickens no no you're missing the point worth you
17:34use the word yourself what is it worth you could make on this you know what are you talking about
17:42here top up the tea lubricates the old gray matter ah I know that expression when he looks like that
17:51he's planning something looks more like indigestion to me that's it I've got it look you two go about
18:03looking like a pair of tramps don't you give me my team no no no no no listen listen you live in
18:09what I can only politely describe as abject poverty you men tools that are only really fit for the
18:15junkyard hey hands off my gums dry and there you see it passing up a golden opportunity to refurbish
18:21yourselves for nothing look at you but as much business acumen as a couple of characters out of the
18:27magic roundabout what are you going on about I'll try to make it simple look you go to local shopkeepers
18:36and you tell them that you're about to be featured in a national newspaper this makes you a local
18:42celebrity now if a local celebrity allows local shopkeepers to use his name for publicity purposes he
18:47is liable to be showered with free goodies what you mean Tom and Barbara good shop at Jaime Cohen's
18:53Chinese Emporium exactly oh get off I couldn't sell an idea like that yeah you couldn't but I could
18:59do it for you truly yes perfectly simple business if you know how to handle it and I do what about it
19:06yes no all right I think you're making a big mistake Tom no no no wait a minute wait a minute
19:15no just because I'm Lord and master and Barbara a mere chattel doesn't make my word final you two so
19:19liberated aren't you I expect you're now going to have a reasoned philosophical discussion it's a
19:24little bit too early in the morning for that let me know what you've decided tonight okay Jay and thanks
19:29bye now I think I'll go and rip out my telephone all right then a reasoned philosophical discussion
19:38you first well I say yes no yes no yes no yes conquers at ten paces now look seriously it all
19:43smacks too much of commercialism we've left all that behind all that wheeling and dealing I don't
19:47think so I think it's just using our initiative or Jerry's initiative we could do with some new stuff
19:52now it seems dishonest to me no it would be if we tried to stock up with a lot of things that we
19:58don't even need but we only get things like dungarees and chicken wire and tools things
20:03that we actually use it's still a bit of bunce isn't it's not us earning our own reward of course it
20:08is I mean the article would never have been written in the first place if you'd only grown two
20:13tomatoes in a window box I mean we're only newsworthy because of our efforts and I think
20:17if there's any bunce attached we jolly well earned it yes you were quite right I was wrong
20:23you are my idea of a man do you know that well I've got no time for all this sexual inequality
20:31I mean we're partners equal shares even Stevens except in one department what I'm stronger than
20:39you are and I can pin you to the bed any time I feel like it rubbish
20:45I can pin you to the bed any time for all this crap oh my goodness thank you thank you
21:09Let's go.
21:39Let's go.
22:09Oh, very much.
22:19Aha! There we are. Oh, that can stay there.
22:22Yeah, all right. I'll take that. Don't worry.
22:28Thanks very much for your help.
22:34Morning.
22:35Mr. and Mrs. Goode.
22:36Who will be appearing in this week's Observer, yes.
22:38Siren here.
22:39Oh, towel.
22:44There we are. Right, wheel it in.
22:45Bit too big for that gun.
22:54Have you gone mad?
22:56We told you, only the things we need.
22:58What are we gonna do with that? Sail it round our bath?
23:00No, it's not for your love. It's your agent's commission.
23:08Oh, let's go.
23:10여기에 the window.
23:23Here we go.
23:24Jerry?
23:25Jerry!
23:28Yes.
23:30Oh, hello, Miss Mountshaft.
23:34Yes, I have seen the newspaper.
23:37But I...
23:38No, I...
23:40No, no, I didn't, Miss Mountshaft.
23:42I did not promise we would be in the paper at all.
23:46Oh, there was never any question
23:48of twisting your arm over the programme cover, Miss Mountshaft.
23:52LAUGHTER
23:53Very well, take that attitude.
23:58Do the cover the committee chose in the first place.
24:00See if I care.
24:01Jerry!
24:02Come in.
24:04Well, did they spell Ledbetter with two Ts?
24:08They didn't spell it at all.
24:10I am not in the paper.
24:12Oh, dear.
24:14Oh, well, never mind.
24:15Neither have Barbara and Tom.
24:17Are you sure?
24:18Of course I'm sure.
24:20Bloody hell!
24:21Language, Jerry.
24:23It is Sunday.
24:25Well, get your hat on.
24:25We'd better go to church and start praying.
24:27LAUGHTER
24:28Good morning.
24:52Tom Goode, the Observer's favourite model.
24:54He's wearing a new brushed denim ensemble
24:57with the latest off-the-knee Wellingtons.
25:00And a nice new room over romance with Prince Rainier.
25:03You don't look right, Summer.
25:05What do you mean?
25:06Well, you're not all rumpled and crumpled,
25:08your old rag-bag self.
25:09Well, thank you very much.
25:11The last time I let you lie until nine o'clock on a Sunday morning,
25:13why aren't you wearing your new dungarees?
25:14Oh, I'm saving them for best.
25:16My coming-out ball.
25:17Things like that.
25:18Ah, I see, yeah.
25:20Well, I must say, I must hand it to old Jerry.
25:22He really knew what he was talking about.
25:23These are lovely things, you know.
25:24Can't wait to use them.
25:25I should unwrap them first.
25:27What, get them dirty?
25:29LAUGHTER
25:29I would just like to say, Tom and Barbara,
25:33that this is the last time you involve me with the gutter press.
25:36Good morning.
25:38LAUGHTER
25:39I say, what are you talking about?
25:43The fact, Tom, that your so-called journalist's article
25:47has not appeared in the Observer,
25:49you obviously haven't got your copy yet.
25:51Well, we didn't think we'd bother.
25:52Why not?
25:53Well, we were at the interview.
25:54We heard what we said.
25:56Well, don't worry, Margaret.
25:57You'll probably be in next week's edition.
25:59This week, they'll probably have more important news,
26:00like the pound rallying to 65 pence.
26:02I'm, frankly, sorry about all this.
26:04I've just had a telephone call from that chap, Coles.
26:06Ha!
26:07The article was in the Observer, all right.
26:08It was not, Jerry.
26:09I scanned every inch.
26:11Not of the Ox and Bucks Observer, you didn't.
26:14Ox and Bucks Observer?
26:16Yes.
26:16You mean, Margaret's alerted the whole of Serbiton
26:18for something that sells about three and a half copies?
26:20Two if it's raining up there.
26:22Yes.
26:23Ha!
26:23I'm sorry.
26:25I think that's priceless.
26:27It's a bit more serious than that, I'm afraid.
26:29Don't you see?
26:30All the shopkeepers who let you have all this stuff
26:32are hardly going to regard the Ox and Bucks Observer
26:34as the national press.
26:37Oh.
26:37You mean Father Christmas
26:39is going to want all his presents back, isn't he?
26:42Oh, dear.
26:42Thank goodness we haven't played with them.
26:44I can only say I am awfully sorry.
26:46I should think so, too,
26:48raising Tom and Barbara's hopes like that.
26:50It's like snatching the food
26:51from the mouths of starving babies.
26:53Now, see here, Margot,
26:54if you hadn't got cloth ears for the first place,
26:56we'd have got the right cake.
26:57Don't you insult my hearing, Jerry.
26:59There has never been anything wrong
27:00with my family's ears.
27:01Ha!
27:02Well, I don't know if yours is just the first place for sure.
27:04No, I'll have so.
27:04It's just that you will mumble deliberately.
27:06Well, of course, the reason why your family's heart is death.
27:08Oh, don't Jerry stay for breakfast.
27:08You'll try to outshout each other.
27:09I'll ask them.
27:10Well, thank you very much, Jerry.
27:11Are you staying for breakfast?
27:12Don't interrupt, Tom Peele.
27:16I'm so sorry.
27:18Yes, after all,
27:19you two are the only ones
27:20who've really suffered.
27:21This must be a hammer blow to your hopes.
27:24Well, a tiny tap, Margot,
27:25just a tiny tap.
27:26I mean, we were fine
27:27two days ago
27:27before the stuff arrived
27:28and we'll be fine
27:28when Jerry takes all the stuff
27:30back to the shops tomorrow.
27:31Along with his boat?
27:33Oh, yes.
27:33Oh, well, never mind.
27:37I mean, with trousers like these,
27:38who needs new ones?
27:40Exactly.
27:40Oh, and this stuff over here,
27:41well, it's okay.
27:42It's fine,
27:42but it's soulless,
27:43mass-produced.
27:44Now, my old fork.
27:46There he is.
27:47There's something of me in that.
27:49This repair I did,
27:49it wasn't just a man
27:50mending an implement.
27:51It was a friend,
27:52restoring a friend to health
27:54with affection.
27:55Look at that.
27:59No bloody load of old rubbish.
28:01I told you this fork was no good
28:02when I found it in the shed.
28:33Thanks for having me.