Malcolm In The Middle Season 5 Episode 3 Goodbye Kitty
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00:00You know the drill, mommy never knows.
00:19Yes, no, maybe, I don't know.
00:26Can you repeat the question?
00:30You're not the boss of me now.
00:33You're not the boss of me now.
00:36You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
00:41You're not the boss of me now.
00:44You're not the boss of me now.
00:47You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
00:52Life is unfair
00:56Stevie, for the last time I'm not going to partner up with you for wheelchair basketball
01:06I smell chicken
01:10I'm not in a wheelchair
01:12It's creepy
01:13It's taking a spot from somebody who's really handicapped
01:16Why did you ask that drooling kid with the hot nurse?
01:21Norms
01:22A ball hawk
01:25Hello boys
01:26Mr. Carnarvon, don't you think it's ethically suspect for someone to participate in wheelchair basketball
01:31If they're not actually handicapped?
01:34Even if his best friend needs to win for his mother?
01:42Son, after being gone two months, your mom will be happy as a duck just to see you
01:47I know she's been gone a long time, Stevie, but it just doesn't feel right to me
01:51I've always been there for you
01:57Please don't do this to me
01:59Seventh grade
02:00First dance
02:03Open fly
02:06All right, fine
02:07But I'm sick and tired of you throwing that in my face all the time
02:11Save it for the game
02:14Come on, Jamie, I gotta get to work, eat
02:20You'll stick a cockroach in your mouth and you won't even taste this
02:23Here, Dewey, you're good with the baby
02:25No, I'm not, you're just saying that
02:28Yeah, you caught me
02:28Your reward is you get to feed the baby
02:30I gotta run
02:33What are you doing with my high school diary?
02:36I was looking for a baby book we can use for Jamie
02:38Turns out we didn't even take the cellophane off Dewey's
02:41Malcolm, Reese, get a move on!
02:45What on earth are you doing?
02:48I have to practice being in a wheelchair
02:49I suppose that makes sense
02:52You never know
02:53All it takes is one horrible accident
02:55And you end up in one of those for the rest of your life
02:57Just for basketball
02:59That's the spirit
03:01Reese, what is taking you so long?
03:04Why don't you just admit it?
03:06Nobody in this house cares about my hair but me
03:09Let's go, come on
03:13Come on, Jamie, just eat it
03:16It's not that bad
03:18See?
03:22I don't hate it
03:23What did that say about pink hair?
03:40Oh, she's fine
03:41Just fine
03:43It's terrible news
03:46She has acute laminitis in her hoof
03:49I'm afraid we will have to put her down
03:53You mean kill her?
03:55Oh, the poor thing
03:57Who's gonna have to do it?
04:00We will have to do it, Francis
04:02You're kidding
04:03We have no choice
04:05After all, we are real ranchers
04:07We must be strong and determined
04:10And never shirk from our responsibilities
04:13No matter how unpleasant they may be
04:16You're gonna make me do this, aren't you
04:20Are I?
04:24Do we get out here or I'm gonna throw your dinner away?
04:52Okay
04:53This meal looks fantastic, Lois
05:01Thank you so much for the invitation
05:03Well, we figured with Kitty coming home tomorrow
05:06You'd like one last chance to enjoy meat
05:08You are not gonna believe what happened to me at school today
05:12Some girl dropped her diary into my backpack by mistake
05:16Do you know whose it is?
05:17No, but it's awesome
05:18She talks about her teachers, classes, friends
05:22It's like a whole world I never knew existed
05:25Dig in, Stevie
05:26There's real butter pooling on your plate
05:29Can't eat
05:31Too excited
05:33About mom
05:35Coming home
05:36I made her
05:38A card
05:40Baked her
05:41A cake
05:43Wrote her
05:44A song
05:46Stevie, you're gonna black out again
05:48Can we
05:49Put up
05:50Chinese lanterns?
05:52You bet, son
05:54Anything you want
05:56Hal, I wonder if I could see you for just a moment
05:59Sure
06:00Stevie is certainly excited about his mother coming home tomorrow
06:05Kitty isn't on a business trip
06:07She divorced me two months ago
06:09She's never coming home
06:10What?
06:12Kitty isn't on a business trip
06:14She divorced me two months ago
06:15She's never coming home
06:16What?
06:18Kitty isn't on a business trip
06:21No, it's not that kind of what?
06:22Stevie thinks she's coming back tomorrow
06:24I know I should have told him
06:26But every time I'd look in his face
06:28You know me, Hal
06:30I've always had a hard time being
06:33You know
06:34Direct
06:36That was one of my problems with Kitty
06:38Not in the utterly mechanical nature of our sex life
06:41Look, Stevie has to know that his mother isn't coming back
06:45You're absolutely right
06:47Anyway, you could tell him
06:49Why would I tell him?
06:51What's the matter?
06:52Kitty divorced, Dave
06:53She's not coming home
06:53Oh my God
06:55What on earth happened?
06:56The truth is
06:57The last few years
06:58She only stayed with me because of Stevie
07:00He's always been so sick and helpless
07:03The whole marriage was built around taking care of him
07:06Oh, I had no idea
07:07Then two months ago
07:09She walked in and announced
07:10That Stevie was finally doing just fine
07:13Then she packed her bags and left
07:15Now look, Abe
07:16I'm really sorry
07:17But Stevie still has to know
07:19Abe, you have got to tell Stevie
07:22Tell him what?
07:23None of your business
07:24Get back to the table
07:25How do I tell that poor boy his mother is never coming home?
07:29I'll tell him
07:30I told you to get out of here
07:32What's going on?
07:33Kitty and Abe got a divorce
07:35Now leave us alone
07:36What?
07:37Abe
07:38You have got to do the right thing and go in there now
07:40What about Malcolm?
07:42Why can't he tell him?
07:44Wouldn't it be more comforting coming from his best friend?
07:47I said I'd tell him
07:49Reese, out now!
07:51Why should I tell him?
07:53Well, you're not entirely blameless in this
07:56What?
07:57You're the one who always pushed him to try new things
08:00Dances, ski trips, basketball
08:02Before he met you, that boy could hardly handle a yo-yo
08:06By what stretch of imagination is this considered one full serp?
08:11Not now, do we?
08:13Abe, we are through talking about this
08:15Now go!
08:16Okay, I told him
08:17What?
08:19He's taking it pretty hard
08:20Somebody should probably go over there and talk to him
08:23It's really weird
08:39It's only been three days since Stevie found out about his mom
08:43But he's regressed like ten years
08:45So, I think we can beat these guys
08:54We just can't be afraid to get physical under the boards
08:59Come on, Stevie
09:11Stevie, I know you're going through a hard time
09:15But we're in the tournament
09:16This might help take your mind off of it for a while
09:19Just talk to me, Stevie
09:23I know you're not this far gone
09:25You don't know anything about what I'm going through or how I feel
09:34Now, if you don't mind
09:36I'd like to conserve my remaining strength for breathing
09:40And stop using that
09:44You can talk perfectly
09:46You don't need that thing
09:48Fine
09:51If you're not going to talk to me, I'm out of here
09:56This whole growing up thing's unfair
10:05When you're born, everything's perfect
10:08But before you know it, it all goes bad
10:11Every day, you get a little less attention
10:14You got to do more stuff
10:16And they love you a little less
10:18No, that's just this family
10:20Reese!
10:22How many times do I have to tell you
10:24Don't leave your filthy socks on the kitchen table!
10:27September 18th
10:32What an aggravating day
10:34Some idiot named Hal streaked our gym class
10:41He didn't see the volleyball net
10:43And they ended up carrying him off in a stretcher
10:45And then at lunch, this other guy
10:48Excuse me
10:51You want to pick that up?
10:54Why should I?
10:55Because it's trash
10:56Or are you one of those charming people
10:59Who thinks that's just someone else's responsibility?
11:01That the rest of us should follow you around your whole life
11:04And clean up all the little messes you leave behind?
11:07Well, let me ask you a question
11:08Were you, like, born 45?
11:11People like you are the reason I'm moving to Paris
11:17The second I graduate!
11:25Oh my god
11:27This girl rocks
11:29When I tell you to pick something up
11:33Pick it up!
11:39I don't know what to do
11:40Steve, he's just devastated
11:42I try to talk to him
11:44But he just shuts me out
11:46Well, he'll come around
11:48You'll see Abe
11:49Everything will be fine
11:50Come on
11:51You don't want to be late for your meeting
11:52I don't know what's happening with Jamie
11:56We're going through all this baby food
11:59And he still always wants to nurse
12:01Honey, not now
12:01I'm dealing with a family thing here
12:03Now, if you get a little weepy
12:05During your presentation
12:06Do what I do
12:07Spill coffee on yourself
12:09And leave the room
12:10You're too good to me
12:12Hal, what exactly are you doing with Abe?
12:18I've seen you pulling the yarn balls off his sweater
12:20And yesterday you were massaging his feet
12:22I know he means a lot to you
12:24But you can't replace Kitty
12:26That's ridiculous, Lois
12:28I'm just being a good friend
12:30You matter
12:32Francis?
12:33Yes?
12:34You haven't taken care of paint can yet, have you?
12:50What kind of a question is that?
12:52If I had, would I be hiding from you?
12:54It's all right, Francis
12:56It's unfair of me to put this burden on you
12:59We will do this thing together
13:01Just think
13:03We will be sending her to a much better place
13:06With open fields and cool mountain springs
13:10Where she can run all day
13:12And horses ride people
13:14Unless, of course, she's been a bad horse
13:18Then she will have to spend eternity in a lake of fire
13:21With a delicious bale of hay
13:23Just out of reach
13:24Otto, I've never killed anything bigger than a poodle
13:27And that was a total accident
13:29Francis, as hard as it will be
13:32I know we can do this
13:34No one said the cowboy life was easy
13:37I'll meet you here at 5
13:40After yoga
13:41Stevie, what are you doing?
13:50I've seen you do wheelies up and down this ramp
13:52Why don't you find yourself another project?
13:59Lloyd looks happy
14:00Why don't you destroy his family?
14:04Stevie, I know what your mom did was horrible
14:06But you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself
14:09Get mad
14:10That's what I would do if my mom walked out on me
14:13Okay, not my mom
14:16But the point is
14:17You have every right to be angry
14:19You're right
14:22That's exactly what I needed to hear
14:25Thanks very much
14:27There you go
14:28This thing sucks at sarcasm
14:33Fine
14:34My mommy left me
14:37Now I'm a helpless baby
14:38Well, I'm not going to let you just sit there
14:41And feel sorry for yourself
14:42Think fast!
14:44Come on
14:46You're not that big of a wuss
14:48You are not in charge of how big a wuss I am
14:52I know you can use your arms
14:54Catch it
14:55Look at the helpless little boy in the wheelchair
14:59Look at the little cripple
15:00Are you going to cry?
15:02Are you going to cry, little cripple boy?
15:05Ooh, it's a baby in a wheelchair
15:07I might be going down a bad road here
15:09But if I stop before I make my point
15:11This could look kind of bad
15:13I'm a little baby
15:18I can't move my legs
15:20Where's my mommy?
15:21Well, this is interesting
15:30I now officially qualify for wheelchair basketball
15:33Never help anyone
15:36You've never been in love, have you?
15:44October 12th
15:46At lunch, JJ was telling my fortune
15:48Wow, girl again
15:52I keep telling you
15:53I'm only going to have girls
15:54That's if I have kids at all
15:57I mean, the whole suburban mom thing
15:59Seems like such a nightmare
16:00Who is that?
16:05I don't know
16:06But he's getting to second base
16:09If I have anything to say about it
16:10Whoa
16:12I just have to figure out a way
16:14To get him to notice me
16:15I don't think you have to worry about that
16:17What do you mean?
16:19Well, you know
16:21He'll probably do something you don't like
16:23And you'll unload on him
16:26What?
16:27I don't unload on people
16:29Honey, I hate to be the one to tell you this
16:32But the truth is
16:34Everyone calls you
16:36The Mouth
16:37The Mouth?
16:40Yeah, but they're just a bunch of immature jerks
16:42And the principal
16:43He's just trying to fit in
16:45Abe, you're not getting the flu
16:59It's just your allergies
17:00Did you take your spray?
17:04Look in your vest pocket
17:06What am I going to do with you?
17:10Can you pat my back?
17:11Thanks
17:14Here you go, paint can
17:16I got you the biggest, nicest carrot I could find
17:20Please, Francis
17:21Let us not drag this out any longer than we have to
17:24Okay, let's just do it
17:28Don't worry, paint can
17:35It'll all be over soon
17:37Why don't we put up the trigger
17:41And we will put an end to her misery
17:44Ready
17:48Aim
17:51Fire
17:53Why didn't you shoot?
17:56Well, you didn't shoot either
17:57I wasn't ready
17:58I'm ready now
18:00Good, here we go
18:01Ready
18:03Aim
18:04Fire
18:06Oh, come on, Francis
18:08You're being a coward
18:09Me, you totally chickened out
18:11All right
18:12On the count of three
18:14We both shoot
18:16No matter what
18:18One
18:19Two
18:20Bang
18:23Oh, look
18:24If you're not
18:26You could have killed me
18:29After you killed me
18:30You could have killed a horse
18:31What's wrong with you?
18:32We can have no problem killing her
18:32Oh, no
18:33Pain can?
18:40What's the matter with her?
18:42I think she choked on the carrot
18:45Well
18:48I guess no one can say we're not real ranchers now
18:52I just hope we don't develop too much of a taste for killing
18:59I've been thinking about picking up Stevie
19:02Some of those baggy pants he's been wanting
19:05Hal, we've been through this
19:07All the kids are wearing them
19:09It's not like he's joining a gang
19:11Well, maybe you're right
19:12You do know best about these things
19:14He's lucky to have you, Hal
19:16Can I get you anything from the kitchen?
19:18No, I'm fine
19:19Thanks, honey
19:20Babe
19:24Huh?
19:27You just tried to kiss me
19:29No
19:31No, that was a lip twitch
19:34See?
19:35There it goes again
19:37You know what?
19:39I'm glad this happened
19:40Because it made me realize something
19:43Get out
19:45What?
19:46I can't replace Kitty
19:48And I'm not doing you any favors by trying
19:51But what am I supposed to do without you?
19:53What am I supposed to do about Stevie?
19:56I don't have the slightest idea
19:58But you're his father
20:00So just get in there
20:02I know you'll be able to figure it out
20:04You can do this
20:06Now go
20:09Hold on
20:11Okay
20:16Mom, I have a proposal for you
20:23Now before you start poking holes in it
20:26I'd like you to hear me out
20:27All I want is no more school
20:30And no more big boy clothes
20:32I'd like to be bathed in rock
20:33Before I go to sleep
20:35And have all my food mashed up
20:37In return, I'll be adorable
20:39Are you wearing a diaper?
20:42I want you to know my level of commitment
20:44Oh my god!
20:53Stevie?
20:55Stevie, where are you, son?
20:57I want to
20:58For God's sake, son
21:07What are you doing out here?
21:09You're soaking wet
21:11At last you tell me the truth about something
21:15Son
21:15I know you've had a terrible shock
21:19And you need your father to get you through this
21:21Well, that's not gonna happen
21:25Because your daddy is a weak, weak man
21:27Son
21:32What your mother did to you was horrible
21:36And what I did to you wasn't any better
21:39I'm sorry
21:41Keep going
21:44Stevie, I know your whole life you've had to face tremendous adversity
21:50You've shown more courage than I've had any right to expect
21:54And now you're gonna have to show even more
21:58I know it's not fair, but believe me
22:03You can do this
22:05I've learned to be amazed when it comes to you
22:08And if it helps, I promise I'll always be there
22:12Frightened and full of denial
22:16But there
22:18Let's go
22:27Home
22:29I didn't mean to
22:36It was two
22:37I'm making it right
22:38I'm a big boy
22:40Okay, you drive to the hoop
22:43When they double-team you, kick it out to me and I'll take the shot
22:46I'll take the shot
22:49I don't have a mom
22:54Okay, that's the third time today you've played the mom card
22:57Get used to it
23:01Hey, jackass
23:04Think it's a big joke to be in a wheelchair?
23:06No, no, no
23:07This is real
23:08You know, I was in the
23:09October 17
23:21I kept my mouth shattered around Jason for a whole week
23:25And he asked me out
23:27I will never go back to the old me
23:30No
23:30Something wrong?
23:33Do you think it's right to totally change who you are
23:35And turn your back on everything you believe in
23:38Just to impress a hot guy?
23:43Burt Reynolds hot or sting hot?
23:45Forget it
23:46So then we put in dual exhaust
23:50And now the thing just flies
23:52I got it up to 130 miles an hour last night
23:55I like talking to you
23:58You're a good listener
24:00So we're all going to ditch class on Friday
24:03Dave's dad is out of town
24:05We're going to borrow a speedboat
24:08So do you want to?
24:13Okay, that's got to stop
24:14Huh?
24:16I'm trying to be nice and not criticize
24:18But I just have to say that that is the most filthy, disgusting habit I've ever seen
24:23Yes!
24:24That's my girl!
24:26Someone's going to lean against that and get it stuck to their clothes
24:29But do you care?
24:30No, because you're nothing but a self-absorbed, inconsiderate slob
24:35But I'm sorry
24:38Wow
24:40I love how you're so passionate about ecology and stuff
24:44Really?
24:46Yeah, it's cool
24:48I could hardly breathe
24:52I knew he was going to kiss me
24:55You are so hot
25:08So are you
25:10Race!
25:15I thought I told you to take out the
25:17What are you doing with my old diary?
25:25FU-
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