Malcolm In The Middle Season 4 Episode 12 Kicked Out
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00:00In your face, Malcolm, in your face!
00:02Dad, Dad!
00:04The goal of video golf is to get the fewest points.
00:09Oh.
00:11Nice game.
00:14Yes, no, maybe.
00:18I don't know.
00:21Can you repeat the question?
00:25You're not the boss of me now.
00:27You're not the boss of me now.
00:30You're not the boss of me now.
00:32And you're not so big.
00:35You're not the boss of me now.
00:39You're not the boss of me now.
00:41You're not the boss of me now.
00:44And you're not so big.
00:48Life is unfair.
00:54Give it!
00:54You know what?
00:55Okay, I'm gonna do a load of colors then a load of white so if you have any clothes in your room you want
01:06Craig's been over here every day helping out with the chores since mom went to her sister's
01:10It was two weeks before we figured out nobody asked so dad's in charge
01:19Boys quit horsing around eat your dinner
01:25Now we are at zero tolerance now. Do you hear me zero tolerance you boys have got to learn to behave from now on
01:37Who wants more mac and cheese?
01:43Sit down
01:48Just because your mother isn't here is no excuse to misbehave
01:51Now when I say zero tolerance, I mean zero tolerance! Tolerance to the zero degree!
01:59I'm talking zip, not a zilch!
02:02In terms of tolerance!
02:03I'll get it!
02:04Malcolm!
02:05Hello?
02:06We are having a discussion!
02:07It's Stevie. He needs help with his math homework.
02:09Go!
02:10So if you want to derive wave maps in two space dimensions you have to make sure you're talking about
02:15Equivariant wave maps or else you can't keep calling me here.
02:19I was guessing that you get to the phone first.
02:21If my parents figure out we're still going out, I'll get totally nailed then we'll never get to see each other.
02:27I know it's hard, but we have to be more careful.
02:29Well I'm bored and my dad's gone for a while.
02:31I'll be right over.
02:32Okay, that is it!
02:34We are at zero tolerance now!
02:36These go tolerance!
02:46Such a night that the lights went out in Georgia. Such a night that the harm on innocent men.
02:56Well don't trust your soul to no back with southern lawyer.
03:02Cause a judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hands.
03:08Bloody, bloody hands!
03:15Yes!
03:18Fantastic! Once again you two have blown off my socks.
03:23Francis, meet my nephew, Willie. He doesn't speak English.
03:29Hello?
03:30Willie will be staying with us until his work visa gets straightened out.
03:35Until then we will get to hear this wonderful playing every day, no?
03:40Otto, let's get our sheet music.
03:43We can do our duet of Don't Go Breaking My Heart.
03:47Ah, yeah. It is not so much a song as it is a lovers' conversation.
03:53So, how do you like America?
04:09Well, nice to meet you.
04:16It's so weird at my house. Nobody ever answers the phone.
04:22My brothers are seeing who can go the longest without changing their underwear.
04:27I never thought I'd miss my mom.
04:30I still don't, but I'm getting close.
04:33Well, it sounds like a drag, but at least it's going to be over in a month or two.
04:36Oh, by the way, did I tell you that my dad's going to bring Trish to my birthday party?
04:40Who's Trish?
04:41Trish, the woman that my dad's going to bring Trish to my birthday party.
04:43Who's Trish?
04:44Trish, the woman that my dad's going to bring Trish to my birthday party.
04:46It's so weird at my house. Nobody ever answers the phone.
04:48My brothers are seeing who can go the longest without changing their underwear.
04:51Malcolm, do you think for like once we could talk about my problems?
05:19Oh.
05:20Okay, sure.
05:24What are they?
05:25What are they?
05:26I've been sitting here!
05:27Nikki!
05:28Were you talking to someone?
05:33Yeah, it's my secret boyfriend. He's hiding under the bed. Don't you want to check?
05:38Why does everything have to be a snotty remark with you?
05:42Well, according to Trish, it's the normal reaction for not being the only girl in my daddy's life anymore.
05:48Come on, Nikki. She was being nice.
05:51Well, it's none of her business how I feel about anything. She's not my mom.
05:55Nobody said anything about her being your mom. Maybe it's time we talk this out.
06:01Okay. What do you want to talk about? How much Trish hates me?
06:07You're not going to pick a fight to get out of this. We're going to hash this out if we have to sit here all night.
06:16Boys! Boys, come on, let's be reasonable. This is no way to treat your father!
06:22What kind of father are you? You're nothing but a joke and you're weak.
06:27Oh man, are you going to pay for that when your mother gets home?
06:31You still think Mom's coming back? After the way you screwed things up?
06:36Dewey, what do you think you're doing? I'm letting Dad on fire.
06:41No way! I get to do it!
06:43We'll all do it!
06:52Oh my god, honey, I just had the worst dream. The boys just... I just lost control of them and you were never coming home and it was just awful.
07:04It's okay, sweetie. Go back to sleep. We'll spoon, okay?
07:12Okay.
07:29How come she's allowed to be naked on the kitchen table and I'm not?
07:32Dewey, if a cop tells you to do something, you do it.
07:37What are you boys doing? I told you to go to bed hours ago!
07:43Actually, Dad, your exact words were just, go to bed. You didn't say, go to bed now. If you leave us a loophole like that, I don't see how this can be our fault.
07:52You have disrespected my authority for the last time! I'm at zero tolerance! I keep thinking that at some point I might be able to trust you boys to do as you're told, but I can't.
08:04Well, there are gonna be some big changes around here. Very big changes! Now get to bed!
08:11Oh, wait! Um, could you repeat that? My mind kind of wandered toward the end.
08:17Don't push it, Reese! You know very well why-
08:21Ah!
08:25Hi, Dad.
08:26What are you doing? Have you been out all night?
08:30Trust me, it wasn't my idea to be out this late.
08:33I suppose you were being held prisoner somewhere.
08:38I got home as quickly as I could!
08:41Besides, what are Reese and Dewey still doing up?
08:43Don't change the subject! You cross the line, mister!
08:46And until further notice, there will be no TV, no computer, and no video games, because I am at zero tolerance with you boys!
08:56Is that understood? Zero tolerance!
09:00What? Did you just roll your eyes at me?
09:04As long as you are living in this house, I demand your respect!
09:07For what? This house is a pigsty! Everything in the fridge is expired! I found a piece of cake in the shower!
09:16That's mine!
09:18And now you're screaming at me because you can't control them, and you know what? I'm sick of it!
09:23Oh, well, if that's the way you feel, you know where the door is!
09:27I do know where the door is, and I know how to use it!
09:30It's three in the morning. Everyone's a little upset-
09:34Then go ahead and use it! See if I care!
09:36Just turn the knob and pull!
09:38Oh! I'll turn the knob, you pull! Just watch me! Turning and pulling!
09:44I'm watching, but I don't see you doing it!
09:47I am doing it! Turn! Pull! And now, I'm outside!
09:53Congratulations! Would you like me to close the door?
09:57Yes! Close the damn door!
10:01Thank you!
10:07Here comes the tearful apology!
10:11Three...
10:13Two...
10:14One...
10:15One...
10:16One...
10:23One...
10:25Number...
10:26So exactly how many militias is your dad in?
10:28So exactly how many militias is your dad in?
10:33These are all of his Armageddon supplies for when the UN takes over the banks.
10:37Anyways, thanks for hiding me.
10:39I don't know where else I could have gone without somebody's parents turning me in.
10:43Well, I'm going to get some sleep. I'll bring you a snack in the morning.
10:46You know, this is actually going to be pretty cool having you hiding up here right over my bedroom.
10:53You're like my little secret.
10:54All right. Help yourself to some snacks. Just be careful of the tripwire.
10:59There's darts tipped with... Just be careful of the tripwire.
11:05You kicked him out of the house?
11:07Oh, please. He kicked himself out of the house, Craig.
11:10Look, I've been through this before with Reese and Francis. It never lasts long.
11:15When Reese was kicked out, he spent the night on the roof until he got into a fight with a pack of cats.
11:20So that makes it okay that Malcolm spent the night sleeping on a booze-soaked mattress in some dark alley?
11:26Craig...
11:26Oh, my God. He's probably dead by now.
11:29Malcolm can take care of himself.
11:31You're right. You're right. He's a genius.
11:33Which would make him even more attractive to rogue elements in our secret weapons programs.
11:38How long before some government scientist picks him up and tries to surgically attach him to some animal?
11:43Oh, my God.
12:10Oh, my God.
12:43Stop playing. No more piano. No piano. Just stop playing.
12:52Ich verstehe nicht.
13:01Let me know if you hear anything at all.
13:04Oh my God, he's been gone for over a day. Where the hell is he?
13:08Keep it down. The neighbors don't have to know our business.
13:12How can you be smiling right now?
13:19Because I just realized we have a free pass.
13:23What do you mean?
13:24Can't you see how guilty Dad feels? He's not going to punish anybody else for a while. We're bulletproof.
13:30What are you going to do?
13:31I'm not sure yet. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's got to be perfect and huge.
13:39I want this to be a statement about everything I stand for.
13:43Okay. Watch this.
13:50Okay.
13:51Let's go.
13:52Let's go.
13:53Let's go.
13:54Let's go.
13:55Let's go.
13:57Let's go.
13:59Let's go.
14:09Let's go.
14:19Okay, I don't know what happened.
14:29I know what happened.
14:30You have been riding those horses too much.
14:33We have an ointment, Francis.
14:35You put it on your Leistengegen.
14:37It will be as good as new.
14:39It's good stuff, Francis.
14:40It's tingly.
14:49Excuse me.
15:06What?
15:07Your poster.
15:08It's distracting people from my poster, and mine was there first.
15:12So it's not your tree?
15:15Look, I'm sure that your dog, Milton, is very sweet,
15:18and you love him very much.
15:19But I'm looking for my son,
15:21an actual human being who's been missing for two days.
15:24Now, don't you think finding a lost person
15:27is more important than finding a lost dog?
15:30I don't know your kid,
15:31but from the way my mom and dad talk,
15:33your whole family isn't worth as much as my dog.
15:37Cute.
15:41What's your name?
15:43Patrick.
15:43Patrick.
15:44Let me tell you a little something about your dog.
15:46He's gone.
15:47See, some other family has taken him in.
15:50And right now, that family is pampering Milton
15:53in ways you never even dreamed of.
15:56So your dog already loves them a lot more than he ever loved you.
16:00And if you ever did get him back,
16:03oh, he would just resent you
16:04until he found some way to escape again.
16:06So why don't you just take the poster down, okay?
16:09Take your poster down.
16:11Your kid's probably in a crack house.
16:13Hey, I brought you some food.
16:38I can't believe I'm being forced to live in an attic.
16:41Living off someone else's table scraps.
16:44Do you mind if I sit with you for a little bit?
16:46I'm really pissed at my dad right now.
16:48You're pissed at your dad?
16:49Could you listen for a sec?
16:51My dad just told me that he's dragging me
16:53on some camping trip with him and Trish.
16:55I can't spend an entire weekend in a tent with that woman.
16:58He provoked the whole thing.
17:01He could have stopped me from walking out of the door
17:02if he really wanted to.
17:04Malcolm, I think it would be a really good idea
17:07if you would listen to me right now.
17:10Do you understand?
17:11If you listen to what I'm saying,
17:13then you can give it some thought.
17:15And then we can talk it out in a way that's going to help me.
17:17And then I can do the same for you.
17:19And then we can have a conversation that actually matters.
17:22No.
17:23He acts like a big man.
17:26What was he trying to prove?
17:28That's it.
17:30That's what?
17:31I can't take this anymore.
17:34You are the most selfish, thoughtless person
17:36that I have ever seen.
17:39From now on, I am not your girlfriend.
17:41You're breaking up with me?
17:43You have killed everything I have ever felt for you.
17:46It's over.
17:48But you...
17:49What am I going to do?
17:50I never want to see you again.
17:52Just come home, Malcolm.
18:04If you want me to apologize, I will.
18:08I was wrong and you were totally right about everything.
18:12Jeez, Dad.
18:13Hold something back.
18:14Who cares what started all this?
18:17It doesn't matter.
18:18I just want you back because you're my son.
18:22And you're the only one in this family
18:23who has a chance of amounting to anything.
18:26What?
18:27It's not true, son.
18:28I was just trying to...
18:30I'm just trying to get Malcolm home.
18:35Ignore that last part, Malcolm.
18:37You're our only hope.
18:37Please come home.
18:38I love you.
18:39So, my dad kicked me out of the house.
18:46Then, Nicky broke up with me.
18:48I don't know how long ago it was.
18:51I can't remember if these mean hours or days.
19:02That's Nicky.
19:03Did you hear that?
19:09That's her talking.
19:14What's she laughing about?
19:15She can't be laughing.
19:19She's not laughing.
19:20She's crying.
19:22Just like my dad.
19:24They're all suffering now.
19:26Okay, Willie.
19:52Here it goes.
19:53I know that you're just trying to be friendly.
20:04But what you do, make me feel bad.
20:11I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. I'm not going to get mad.
20:34Okay, Willie. You want it? You got it!
20:49Come on, Willie! Make some music to this! Where's your music now, Willie? Where's your music now?
20:57No!
21:09He was playing music while I did stuff.
21:27Okay. Maybe Nikki could have at least left me a paper cup or something up here.
21:46I just wish you'd come back to say hello. I miss talking to her. It was going to be her little secret.
21:55She's so incredible. I can't believe she ever liked me. I had Nikki and I had a family. What happened? How did it ever get like this?
22:10Oh my god. I'm horrible. No wonder my dad kicked me out of the house. I'm annoying and selfish.
22:22Nikki and my family are lucky. At least they get to get away from me. I'm stuck here with myself.
22:29Wait a second. I don't have to be like this. I can change. I can totally change. From now on, I'll just listen to what people say. I'll be friendly. I'll be considering.
22:54Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like this new Malcolm.
23:01You're welcome.
23:11That's her.
23:16What's she talking about?
23:23That's a guy's voice. There's a guy in her room. A guy in her room.
23:29I am telling you, he's not here.
23:42This moment has been a long time coming. The fruit of over two hours of planning and labor. Thank you.
23:50That's true.
24:09I said, I just can't find flaw in this plan.
24:15Behold!
24:21Stop it!
24:27Stop it!
24:29Do it!
24:31Do it!
24:33God, come back!
24:35God help me!
24:37Stop it!
24:39Stop it!
24:41How cool!
24:43Rhys, what are you doing?
24:45AHHHHH!
24:47AHHHHH!
24:49AHHHHH!
24:51AHHHHH!
25:03AHHHHH!
25:05AHHHHH!
25:07AHHHHH!
25:09AHHHHH!
25:11Welcome home, son.
25:13Thanks, Dad.
25:15Help me!
25:17If it helps,
25:19this probably would have happened
25:21even if Mom was here.
25:23It does help.
25:25Let's go to the bathroom!
25:27Let's go to the bathroom!
25:55AHHHHH!
25:59To be continued...
26:01AHHHHH!
26:03AHHHHH!
26:05AHHHHH!
26:07AHHHHH!
26:09Some of my sisters...
26:11Do it!
26:13Moana!
26:15Please watch me!