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00:00Oh! Ouch!
00:09The bag's full. I'll just empty it.
00:13Ten days, Swarrel, and still no wet note.
00:17Perhaps I've done something to offend him.
00:19It's probably that leg salute you did at Lady Coogan's garden party, sir.
00:23Yes, come here.
00:25Ow!
00:27Oh! What's this?
00:31That's part of his septum. I could make a necklace out of that.
00:36Mr Mervyn, there's a message in your nasal hair.
00:41Graphene Blue's going to win the 420 at the goat track.
00:46Oh, and there's going to be a very important visitor.
00:58Something about doors.
01:01Open the door.
01:04I'll just hold on to this for you.
01:07Open the door.
01:08Doker's quarry.
01:10Three nights only.
01:13The great he.
01:15So that's why he hasn't been talking to me, Swarrel.
01:18It's him. The great he.
01:20So isn't the great he meant to have a little beard?
01:22Quickly, put me on. I must tell the people.
01:24Don't you think we should make sure it is him, sir?
01:26Are you questioning my nasal hair?
01:28Sure.
01:29Put me on.
01:30Okay.
01:31Three nights only.
01:32Residents of Jitsy.
01:34Fritz Chimney! That was my ad!
01:37Today is a momentous day.
01:41For he hath risen from the law cave to walk amongst us.
01:46We must all go straight to Doker's quarry.
01:50For this is the coming of the great he.
01:54Jitsy Fraser!
02:03Residents of Jitsy, stand by your testinators.
02:07Now is the time to sing!
02:09Sing!
02:10Sing!
02:16Trees themselves and teal and head for fences stream.
02:22The front and nest and bars and bars that flow.
02:27The logs and sticks and the digging claws.
02:31With bagging hats and scoffs and heads that swing and stage of green.
02:38And lots of cuts and shoes.
02:42And!
02:47Attention all residents.
02:49The new incinerator at Carks Valley is now open.
02:52Burning costs two yellows per item.
02:55Except for the following items, which are free of charge.
02:58Mr. Tinter's head rug.
03:00Those nasty tunics from the Island Singers' production of Xanthi.
03:04All images of Mrs. Wilps when her skirt got caught in the turbine at Wendy's Wind Farm.
03:10And Jeff Hoop's musical cartridge, Cogs, Volume 8.
03:15It's just awful!
03:17Souvenirs of the incinerator, including pre-singed tea towels, melted pensets and acrid candles,
03:23are now available in the incinerator gift shop at the bottom of the chimney.
03:27Next to Coff's Cafe.
03:33To think I'm actually going to meet the great he.
03:37I wonder how I should address him.
03:39Your brilliance, your greatness, your...
03:42Deluded?
03:43Might kick off with one of my poems.
03:45Maybe cheese in my dreams?
03:47Sir, don't you think we should make sure it is the great he first?
03:50I mean, in all the paintings he does have a little beard.
03:53Will you shut up about beards, Sparrow?
03:55A beard is just the icing on the face.
03:58Great men care nothing for their appearance.
04:03How do I look?
04:11Brilliant sound system, Sparrow.
04:13It's almost surround sound.
04:15Well, he's using Mr. Gerrit's dog talons.
04:19People of Gypsy!
04:23Gypsy, brazen!
04:25Goose pimply.
04:26I told you you should have worn your vest.
04:27No, yes, you did.
04:28We are gathered here to share this thing called...
04:31Hanging sprays!
04:34For too long our jumpers have been crumpled.
04:37For too long our trousers have been creased.
04:39Yes, I hate that.
04:41I'm here to tell you to look inside the box.
04:50For this is the time...
04:54Of the carpet!
05:01Hanging sprays!
05:03Hanging sprays!
05:04Hanging sprays!
05:06No more trousers on the carpet!
05:09No more blouses on the floor!
05:12No more badly bolded jumpers!
05:17No need to put them in no drawer!
05:22Hanging sprays!
05:24Hanging sprays!
05:25Hanging sprays!
05:26Fascinating to see how much control he has over these people.
05:29Why is he going on about cupboards?
05:31Of course, as a person of higher intelligence,
05:33one is immune from this kind of mass mysterious.
05:36Well, I think we should get back to the tower, sir.
05:38Hanging sprays!
05:39Hanging sprays!
05:40Hanging sprays!
05:41Hanging sprays!
05:43Hanging sprays!
05:44Hanging sprays!
05:45What do we want?
05:48Cupboards!
05:49When do we want them?
05:50About 28 days for delivery!
05:54Normally, yes.
05:56But today, my space children.
06:01You can have them now.
06:08You haven't fallen for this as well.
06:10It's the great he.
06:12He brings us hope.
06:13He brings us salvation.
06:15Yeah, and he brings us cupboards for 12.99.
06:17James C. Brighton!
06:18Oh, where's your money?
06:20Oh, hello.
06:21I recognise you.
06:26Oh, hello, darling.
06:28Hooray!
06:30I might need some help assembling this.
06:32Yeah, maybe see you later.
06:34Hey!
06:35Hey!
06:36It's me!
06:37Arbiter Maven!
06:38Oh, yeah?
06:39I'm thinking inside the box, just like you said.
06:42Oh!
06:43That's a good idea.
06:44Daily greet.
06:45And welcome to Punishment Roundup for Threese the Third.
06:51First of all, Christella Borbo of Chalet 22 did exceed the hoof and pelch milking quota by 15 squirts.
07:06And once inebriated, did hurl a savoury pancake over soprano milio krub during, oh, heart that hath no mercy.
07:15So that's not good.
07:18Punishment, two nights in the dry-out booth at Rintles Point.
07:22Fine, 95 yellows.
07:24Please, have your payment ready now.
07:34Ruffin!
07:35You've got a charge!
07:39Ruffin!
07:41Ruffin!
07:42Ruffin!
07:43Ruffin!
07:44Ruffin!
07:45Ruffin!
07:46Ruffin!
07:47This is G.C.
07:48Hello, welcome to the Ponce Pod.
07:50Tonight's Ponce is Professor Scholl from the Pipitz Clinic.
07:53Actually, I'm Professor Loons.
07:55People often say we look alike.
07:57Professor, why do you think the great he has chosen the cupboard as his symbol?
08:01Well, Bellary, it's so typical of he to redefine a space which already exists within a secondary wooden construct.
08:10Now, if I were to open your doors...
08:22Ow!
08:25Daily greet, sir.
08:27Poudry and Oghten Morp.
08:29Ginsi Probe.
08:31Who's your lady friend?
08:33Don't be shy, love.
08:34I call her the Walnut Maiden.
08:39Ooh!
08:41Ooh, lovely.
08:44Shall I enjoy that?
08:48Yes, the response has been amazing.
08:52500 units shifted.
08:54I mean, 500 space seekers following the way of the wood.
08:59Anna, why have you chosen cupboards as your symbol, sir?
09:04Well...
09:08The island's getting really crowded, innit?
09:11And through cupboards, we can create more space.
09:16The great he's supposed to be ancient. How come you look about 12?
09:21That's true.
09:24Moisturiser.
09:25How come you haven't got a little beard?
09:26Well, I must away, get a shower, clean off this sawdust before tonight's sale.
09:36I mean, service.
09:40Excuse me.
09:42Excuse me.
09:44Sir!
09:46Sir!
09:47He!
09:48Can I just say, I'm delighted to be in your cabinet.
09:51Sir, what are you doing?
09:53Isn't he amazing?
09:55They've really opened my mind.
09:57Anything in there at all?
09:59You couldn't just have a quick scratch in my drawers, could you?
10:01Very itchy.
10:02Look, it's not...
10:03It's not the great he.
10:04It's not the great he.
10:05It's not the great he.
10:06Ah!
10:07Let's go!
10:15Elements report for Foresday the 18th of Leaflust.
10:18Stand a hatch today if you're planning to take part in the most jump at the Hoof and Hedge Hut.
10:22And hair serves for girls.
10:24Oh, dear.
10:25Clash later.
10:26So avoid deliberate stamping in the upper parishes.
10:31Good news for Spatterfans.
10:32Level eight to nine all nightly.
10:34Smoothing to a dribble.
10:35With sheep crouched fed by some clime.
10:37Down in the lower parishes.
10:39Cloud Goon wafting.
10:40Ha ha.
10:41Wafting.
10:42Ha ha.
10:43Moistly mostly.
10:44Don't too edgy.
10:45With a chance of merriment.
10:47Followed by a deep depression in Claw.
10:52This is Juncy.
10:53Types of Hoof.
10:55So many types of Hoof.
10:57So many types of Hoof.
10:59So many types of Hoof.
11:01So many types of Hoof.
11:07Green wood for my bed stand.
11:09Large wood for my door.
11:12Balsa for the motor farm.
11:15My brother Nigel bought.
11:18Types of Hoof.
11:20Badawan F&B.
11:21Badawan F&B.
11:22So many types of Hoof.
11:23And I think what is good.
11:24La la la la la la la.
11:27Load.
11:28La la la la.
11:29La la la la la.
11:31Lunch.
11:32Tee.
11:33Tee.
11:34Tee.
11:35Tee.
11:36Tee.
11:37Tee.
11:38Tee.
11:39Tee.
11:40A.
11:41a.
11:42A.
11:43A.
11:44A.
11:45A.
11:46and we could live in our own storage unit together hey and we could adopt a
12:09little nest of tables one of each color yes we could um you'll have to excuse me i've just got to give a
12:18little guidance to some new followers why don't you do your nails
12:39what are you doing here you're not allowed near the law caves don't you get past the killer crabs i
12:47just kicked them off the rocks they're tiny they can really pinch look what are we going to do about
12:54this cupboard bloke oh yes i've unearthed some vital information really throughout history the
13:01great he has come amongst us in various disguises for instance as jerry hofton the hairy organ grinder
13:12and the colstock twins whose faces had magnetic properties what's this vital information they all
13:21had little beards is that it yes
13:42it's all kicking off at doker's quarry i know i had my first sensual awakening there really
13:52if it wasn't for a bit of loose scree he'd have taken full advantage of me it took two days to find him
14:02it's a deep pit i mean i waited but uh he'd lost interest by the time they'd winched him back up
14:11all screws should be tightened and the wooden doweling
14:24place in the breeder holes and afterwards affix the doorknobs with a wood adhesive
14:32and leave to dry overnight on a flat surface placing a heavy weight on each to allow
14:40the adhesive to bond sufficiently here ends the leaflet yes it does
14:51get lost i'm doing worship
15:07oh yes can i help you listen i was right it's not the great he he hasn't got a little beard
15:16he has
15:17and on the first day he did assemble the drawers but lo many days later
15:28and he still hadn't managed to finish them wait there is an unbeliever amongst us bring him to me
15:40take this
15:50and screw thyself
15:51so you are the great he is
15:54yes
15:55wait a minute that's maven septum
16:04you've made a beard out of his nasal hair
16:09get him
16:23don't let him get away
16:34and what i would also like to say
16:47he is that you've really helped me find my inner shelf
16:52i hope you don't think i'm going on too much it's just that you're such a good listener
16:56to think the great he has hung his underpants in my cupboard
17:09well go and see if he wants another cocktail
17:10no no i'll go i know exactly how he likes it
17:26huh
17:35this is mrs vector enjoying a cup of tea with me
17:38Eric dunk at dunk cupboards
17:43no no no no no mrs vector you sit down and i'll bring the cupboards to you my darling
17:56Oh, hee!
18:00Not your cocktail!
18:02And...
18:04Dunk cupboards.
18:06Cupboards that keep on giving.
18:11No!
18:21You son of a murk toad.
18:23You've ruined everything.
18:25I was about to branch out into the foot spas.
18:28Three speeds with a massage sitting.
18:36What is this?
18:38It's an acrylic mix.
18:40Oh, it's really itchy.
18:55No!
18:56No!
18:57No!
18:58No!
18:59No!
19:00No!
19:01No!
19:02No!
19:03No!
19:04No!
19:05No!
19:06No!
19:07No!
19:10No!
19:11No!
19:12No!
19:14No!
19:15No!
19:16No!
19:17No!
19:19I'm standing outside the Ponset, where Ponses, island-wide, are gathering for a new exhibition entitled Fruit Slappers, a retrospective of midget fruit portraitist Mence Oyn.
19:33Oyn caused a sensation in the tenties with his portrait of a naked grape.
19:37Postcards of his infamous half-peeled banana were seized in four parishes.
19:44Until this time, fruit in art had always been draped tastefully with leaves.
19:50His work gave rise to the adult fruit industry, where fruits were often forced into appearances.
19:59Fruit could often be seen being passed under the counter in brown paper bags.
20:04His experimental film, Citrix Slaughterhouse, subtitled De-Pit Me Applemonger, in which a fruit is graphically depicted being sliced and de-seeded, was banned and effectively ended Oyn's career.
20:18It was from this movement that the controversial era, known as the Swinging Fruities, emerged, whose music shocked the establishment.
20:28When I put on my fruit suit, baby, everyone stops and stares.
20:35I put sole on my shoulders, trousers made out on pairs.
20:43Where the pan?
20:45A fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit.
20:52A logo, a American, a Ganesha, a Dive Dive.
20:56My big banana platform will be right tonight.
21:01Fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit suit, fruit.
21:08Sir, the residents are demanding their money back on the cupboards.
21:15It's nothing to do with me.
21:18You're the one who sent them all to Joker's quarry.
21:21Shut up, Trinson. Stay on the mat. You're dripping.
21:23I'm not.
21:24Of course, we still haven't heard from the great he.
21:27Gently praise him.
21:28Of course, it's been on holiday. To think I let a dodgy cupboard salesman use me as a footstool.
21:44You're lucky I was his tall cabinet.
21:48I will never be taken in so easily again.
21:51Open the door! Open the door!
21:55Yes, sweet lord. I am the chosen one. Raise me in your arms.
22:00If you open the door, I might give you a cuddle.
22:03Spiral.
22:07Hello, sir.
22:08Hello.
22:21Types of wood. So many types of wood. So many types of wood.
22:48So many types of wood. So many types of wood.
23:052, 2, 1.
23:092, 3, 5.
23:113, 4.
23:122, 5.
23:133, 5.
23:143, 5.
23:151,
23:163.