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00:00This video is brought to you by
00:30Thanks, Jimmy.
00:41It's like hammering a nail into me own coffin.
00:45You sure about this, Jeksy?
00:47I am. I've had enough.
00:50They're destroying the country, Pop.
00:52With their smoking bands and begging fellas in the morning,
00:56I'd be better off in the dole.
00:58Right, once you're sure.
01:00After the night's closing-down concert, it's goodbye from me.
01:05I'll put my head in the bugle, sir.
01:07I suppose I'll pay for that as well.
01:19Cheer up, lads. Nobody died.
01:23Nobody died?
01:24We're just presiding over the death of the greatest institution in Ireland.
01:28Oh, it is this lovely.
01:29The Irish country pub.
01:32Not to mention the snuffing out of the hopes and dreams and aspirations of the inhabitants.
01:36I'll tell you something, lads.
01:38It's the end of an era.
01:40It's the end of an era.
01:43In fairness, you don't actually live here.
01:46Well, where else are we supposed to go?
01:48You can stop at home.
01:49Home? Home is it.
01:51If there's not a more treacherous place in the face of the planet, I don't know it.
01:55What do you mean, Dan?
01:56Do you know the percentage of domestic accidents that happen in the home?
01:59No.
02:00One hundred percent.
02:01I thought it'd be more.
02:02The family home is a debt trap.
02:05Sure, that's why we have pubs.
02:07Well, not for long.
02:08No, not for long.
02:10If we sit here long enough, there'll be a wrecking ball coming through that wall.
02:13If there's a show worse than the black intents, it's them fecking developers.
02:17Anyway, nothing will happen for tonight's concert outside.
02:20Yeah, what's all that about, Jacksy?
02:22It's a closing down concert.
02:25A kind of a goodbye present from me to kill the scully.
02:27A thanks for the custom down the years.
02:30Tickets are 15 euros each.
02:31That's not much of a thank you.
02:33Bunty Clark and the diehards don't come to it.
02:36Bunty Clark and the diehards?
02:38Sure, they must be in their 60s.
02:40And sure, weren't they around the same time as the smithereens?
02:42Whatever happened to the smithereens?
02:44They broke up.
02:46Where are you going, Jacksy, once the place is sold?
02:48I was thinking of going into the radio.
02:51I was listening to that fella there in the afternoon, sitting in his arse, listening to people complaining.
02:55Sure, I could do that.
02:56What did you do before this?
02:57There was no life before Jacksy's.
02:59Law enforcement.
03:01You were not!
03:02I was.
03:04Was it the guards or what?
03:06Not exactly.
03:11Look, Donovan, why don't you just make it easier on yourself?
03:15Just tell us why you've hidden them.
03:19Look, I'm on your side here.
03:21I don't want to see anything happen to you.
03:23I can't guarantee that everybody else around here feels the same way.
03:27Right, you little bliggard.
03:32Where'd you hide them?
03:33Jacksy!
03:35Boss wants you upstairs.
03:39Right, kid.
03:40You bought yourself a little time.
03:42But when I come back,
03:44you'll sing like a budgie.
03:46The smarties are in my locker.
03:57Good lad.
04:00Jacksy,
04:00I am not so sure your Christian brother material.
04:05The way I see...
04:06I haven't finished.
04:08On my watch,
04:10we do things by the book.
04:11If we didn't,
04:11we'd have internal affairs down on us
04:13like a ton of school books.
04:17I'm just two moves away
04:19from provincial superior,
04:21and I am not
04:22having my promotion
04:23screwed up by some
04:25hot-headed sky pilot
04:27tearing up the rule books.
04:29You mean?
04:31Yep.
04:32You're busted.
04:36Civvy Street.
04:38Civvy Street.
04:49The other one?
04:50Then I got into
05:04my Ford Capri
05:04and drove off
05:06into the sunset.
05:12You were the Ford Capri?
05:15I had.
05:17Wow.
05:20Jacksy's soon-to-be-closed-down-bar.
05:24Oh, how are you, Bunty?
05:26Really?
05:27Fick!
05:29They all do's all right,
05:30are they?
05:31Well, right.
05:32Yeah.
05:33Eight o'clock kick-off.
05:34Don't be late, no mind.
05:36They're a big crowd.
05:38Fick!
05:40Trouble?
05:42One of the die-hards
05:43after putting his hip out.
05:44They'll be a man short
05:45for the concert tonight.
05:47That's a first.
05:48The die-hards
05:49and the word hip
05:49in the same sentence.
05:53What would your best memory be, Dan?
05:55I suppose the night
05:56the die-hards
05:57played support
05:57to Jimmy Fitz
05:58and the hobos
05:59below the twisted arms.
06:00I'll tell you lads,
06:01they were on fire.
06:02That good?
06:03No,
06:04they were actually on fire.
06:05One of the ramps blew up
06:06and nearly burnt down
06:07the ballroom.
06:09No,
06:10I meant
06:11about this place,
06:12Jacksy's.
06:13Oh.
06:14Dieter's Cheese Reception.
06:16That was gas.
06:17Miss Fahey's hen party.
06:18Now that was good.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Well?
06:22I suppose
06:23the night of Jacksy's juggernauts.
06:27Jacksy's what?
06:28Juggernauts.
06:29The night of the big table quiz.
06:32The table quiz.
06:34Ladies and gentlemen,
06:37ladies and gentlemen,
06:38quiet.
06:39Quiet now, please.
06:41The results of the quiz
06:43are as follows.
06:45In third place,
06:47with 46 points,
06:50the Holy Rollers.
06:51Yes.
06:51Oh,
06:52God was on our side,
06:57Father.
06:57God.
06:58Well,
06:59you know,
06:59I was the only one
07:00that knew that
07:01Lee Mal
07:02was in Kajagoogoo.
07:06God.
07:07Good.
07:08Knew as well,
07:08I suppose.
07:09We have a tie
07:10for first place.
07:12Both teams
07:13have
07:1456 points.
07:17To decide the winner,
07:18we have a tiebreaker question.
07:21Now,
07:22this question
07:23is just for
07:25Jacksy's
07:26juggernauts.
07:29And
07:31the Bally Boys.
07:36Which
07:37African animal
07:38causes
07:39the most
07:40human deaths?
07:43I write it down.
07:48Right.
07:49Hands up.
07:51What do you have?
07:53The lion.
07:55Turn it back.
07:55The hippopotamus.
07:59The hippopotamus.
08:02Well,
08:03the answer is...
08:06The lion.
08:14Hold on a second.
08:15Hold on a second.
08:16Hold on.
08:16I demand a Stuart's inquiry.
08:18Just take the feed,
08:19can't you?
08:20Loser.
08:21More people
08:22are trampled to death
08:23by disgruntled hippopotamuses
08:24than are killed
08:25by any other animal.
08:26Well,
08:27the answer I have
08:29is
08:29the lion.
08:31Well,
08:31you've the wrong answer.
08:33In the skull,
08:33he knew nothing
08:34about nothing.
08:35Watch what you're saying.
08:37You watch it.
08:38Why don't you,
08:38Curly and Moe,
08:39take your wrong answers,
08:40saddle up your hippopotamuses,
08:42and ride back to Bally?
08:43And what have we done,
08:45huh?
08:45Come on.
08:46Gentlemen, please.
09:02Gentlemen, please.
09:03Lads, come on.
09:05Come on, it's only a bit of fun.
09:06Fun?
09:07Fun, is it?
09:08This belly crowd have been coming over here, cheating us out of loads of stuff since...
09:13All the time.
09:14Since all the time.
09:15We dispute that answer, father.
09:18Listen, I have an idea.
09:19Professor Godfrey Spratt.
09:21He's an old friend of the family.
09:23Who?
09:24Godfrey Spratt.
09:25Which one of the Spratt's would that be now, father?
09:27The Spratt from the television.
09:28He's an expert in wildlife.
09:30Why don't I give him a ring, ask him, and whatever he says goes.
09:34What about it?
09:35Alright, I suppose so.
09:37Alright, alright.
09:38Great.
09:39This is truly amazing.
09:41Behind me here, Achnid Lounge Baricus.
09:44The common or pub spider.
09:47Normally found gorging itself on toasted sandwiches, tatoes and pink snacks.
09:55Cut, cut, cut.
09:59Hello, yes, who is it?
10:00This is Philip, Filipino.
10:02Oh.
10:03Filipino, we met at the wildlife weekend.
10:06I don't remember you.
10:10Pip, pipsqueak.
10:12Oh, yes, yes, yes.
10:13What is it?
10:14What is it?
10:15Yeah, listen, I just want you to ask a quick question.
10:17To settle a quiz here in the middle of it, yeah.
10:19Which African animal causes the most human deaths?
10:23Is it the lion?
10:24Or the hippopotamus?
10:25The hippopotamus?
10:26Really?
10:27Yes, now I'm busy.
10:28Goodbye.
10:29What did he say, father?
10:30It's the lion.
10:31It's the lion.
10:32Go away.
10:33Go away.
10:34No.
10:35Go away.
10:36No.
10:37It's the lion.
10:38Go away.
10:39Go away.
10:40No.
10:41It's the lion.
10:44Go away, go away, no.
10:55You're not getting away with the telly, you will be back.
10:58You mind the dine?
10:59That night was good.
11:00Oh, it sure was.
11:01They should have known better than to mess with the superior brain of the killing of Scullyan.
11:05Hello?
11:11Ah, for feck's sake, Bunty, you're joking me.
11:15What are we going to do?
11:17I suppose so.
11:20They'd be only half the money in now, mind.
11:26Now they're feckin' diehard down with the cold.
11:28They must be the unluckiest band to play since the crowding the Titanic.
11:31They'd better be good. Be packed out there tonight.
11:35What do you think, Jimmy?
11:36I asked Todd Bunty, you should have gone solo.
11:38No, what do you think the best crack we ever had was?
11:41Here.
11:42I never had any crack here, Timmy.
11:44It was no yours with you.
11:49Yeah, I know.
11:50The science experiment, that was great crack.
11:52No, that was good.
11:53Huh?
11:54Ah, feck off!
11:55What's this that was?
11:57Do you remember the four of us were here in the bear?
11:59That dine or the dine?
12:00Yeah, well anyway, and then Timmy says,
12:02How does rain work?
12:04What do you mean, how does rain work?
12:09How does it work?
12:10The rain?
12:11It falls on its day and night.
12:13Especially when you have no umbrella.
12:16How does it get up there?
12:18Dine?
12:19Sure, it's all about air pressure.
12:22Air pressure.
12:23The higher up you go, the lower the pressure is.
12:26Jacksy, have your biscuits in there?
12:29I have, the one for the raffle.
12:30Why?
12:31Fill it up with water there and give it out to me.
12:33You see, even in a room like this, the higher you are to the ceiling,
12:37the lower the pressure is than it is to the floor.
12:39Do you get me?
12:40What's that got to do with the rain?
12:42Isn't that what I'm trying to tell you?
12:44There you are, Dad.
12:45Have your sweeten brush there, Jacksy.
12:48Jimmy, put that stool out in the middle of the floor.
12:56There you are, Dad.
12:57Timmy, grab that brush.
12:59You see, even this high up at the ceiling.
13:03Give me your brush there, Timmy.
13:05The air.
13:06It's so thin.
13:07Hold that for a second.
13:08Hold it there.
13:09Hold it tight.
13:12I love science.
13:15What's this got to do with the rain, Dan?
13:16Stand there long enough, you'll find out.
13:20Ah, you feckers!
13:23You feckers!
13:27Hello?
13:30Hello?
13:32Jacksy?
13:35There's nothing like a good science experiment.
13:42True.
13:43That was nothing like a good science experiment.
13:46Feckers!
13:49If that's fecking Bunty again.
13:53Bunty?
13:55Mother of God, what was he doing up there?
13:59The last of the die-hard
14:00was after falling off the roof of the shed putting up fairy lights.
14:05Right.
14:06Well.
14:07Don't be lazy.
14:08And if you think you're getting paid for this, you have another thing coming.
14:13And then there was one.
14:16Right, lad.
14:17Would you like a Christmas drink?
14:19I need a whiskey.
14:21Some Christmas this is turning out to be.
14:23What time is the concert, Jack?
14:25In a few minutes, Josie.
14:26In a few minutes.
14:27If he ever shows up.
14:28So this is it then?
14:29This is what?
14:30The end.
14:31It is.
14:32Will he pour us an offer on the place?
14:33It'll be all wrapped up with the new year.
14:34So this is it then?
14:35This is what?
14:36The end.
14:37Tis
14:48Tis.
14:49Will he pour us an offer on the place?
14:52It'll be all wrapped up with the new year.
14:54Some developer.
14:55Some Christmas present.
14:56Tis.
14:58Willie Paul has an offer on the place.
15:00It'll be all wrapped up with the new year.
15:02Some developer.
15:04Some Christmas present.
15:06I was never into Christmas.
15:08It'll be the end of killing Scully, you know that.
15:11It'll be the end of all of us.
15:12I don't know, that's to me. The drink talk.
15:15It'll all be changed.
15:16Might be better.
15:18Cappuccinos.
15:20Soon there'll be nothing left for the likes of us.
15:22Only a couple of fags in a rainy doorway.
15:24Anyway, you don't smoke.
15:28Yeah, well, only saying.
15:30I know we never amounted to much.
15:31Me and the other two.
15:32The three amigos.
15:34Three stooges.
15:36The three musketeers.
15:38There was four of them, isn't it?
15:40There was four of us, the two.
15:42Yeah, well.
15:44We were the last of the great underachievers.
15:49But in there,
15:52I was...
15:53I was...
15:54I was almost somewhere.
16:01I know, I know.
16:04Have you a hanky?
16:05I use your sleeve.
16:07If you breed a word of this to anyone.
16:10What class of a ludra do you think I am?
16:13I'm in, I stand your last drink.
16:14No, I'm away home.
16:15Why?
16:17I'm practising.
16:20Dan.
16:21What?
16:22It's not for sale.
16:24What?
16:25I'm not selling up.
16:28You're not selling?
16:29Shh!
16:30Change your mind or something?
16:32No.
16:33I was never going to sell.
16:35But business was bad.
16:36I had to do something to get the people in.
16:39What?
16:40Once the sign went up,
16:42people are coming from all over the place
16:44for a last drink
16:45and then a second last drink
16:46and the closing down concert made four grand.
16:49You luder.
16:50You unadulterated luder.
16:53Keep it under your hat, Dan.
16:55If you keep on moaning about this place closing down,
16:58there'll be three pints in it for you
16:59until the new year.
17:01Done.
17:02Happy Christmas, Dan.
17:04Happy Christmas, Jacksy.
17:08Jacksy.
17:09Thorn.
17:15Yahoo!
17:22Nick.
17:24Nick.
17:30What do you mean,
17:31what part of ballet am I in?
17:32Mother of God, Bunty,
17:33it's killing a scully.
17:35Jacksy's bar killing a scully.
17:38The crowd are picking up out there, Jacksy,
17:39and they're getting restless.
17:42Get here as soon as you can.
17:45Trouble?
17:46Yeah, Bunty can't be here for another 20 minutes.
17:49So we'll have to go on instead.
17:50Excuse me.
17:51Is there any chance I could use the phone?
17:53Not now.
17:55Father.
17:56Yeah, Jacksy, yeah.
17:58Would you go on for a few minutes
17:59until Bunty arrives?
18:00I'd love to help, Jacksy,
18:02but, you know,
18:02I don't really think they want to hear
18:04totus to us.
18:05I'm sorry to bother you, but...
18:07No, no.
18:08Mrs. Gilhooly?
18:10Yes, Mr. Walsh?
18:11Would you and Sissy play a few tunes
18:13that little Bunty shows up?
18:14Oh!
18:15All right.
18:17But only because it's Christmas.
18:18We'll get out instruments.
18:20Good girls.
18:21Is there any chance...
18:22What do you want?
18:23I have a bit of an emergency.
18:25We're on our way to a gig
18:25and our bus just broke down.
18:27There's no mobile coverage.
18:28Is there any chance
18:29I could use the phone?
18:31There's a phone bid to Jacks.
18:32Cheers.
18:34Hold up a second.
18:35Hmm?
18:36Did you say gig?
18:37Yeah.
18:38Have you a band?
18:40Yeah.
18:41What class of a band?
18:44Well...
18:45Say you love me,
18:47say you love me,
18:48say you love me.
18:50I'll tell you,
18:51she's a mile out of tune.
18:52Give that in to me later on
18:53and I'll get Jimmy
18:53to put a few welds
18:54on the top of them yokes
18:55there and light them up.
18:57How many are on the road, lads?
18:59Five.
19:00Is that all that's in the band?
19:02Have you any girls
19:03singing with you?
19:06So what about the cowpokes
19:07I've done without
19:08kids you work out front, huh?
19:10I'm telling you, lads,
19:10you might have a fine bus,
19:11but you don't know much
19:12about the show band business.
19:15Come on, lads.
19:15We'll get out of here.
19:18Right, I'll go with you, sir.
19:19Let me get this straight.
19:24Jacksy, Jacksy!
19:25Are we on?
19:26Are we on?
19:27Carry on, girls.
19:30Let me get this straight.
19:32My boys do one song,
19:34you get us a lift to Dublin.
19:36That's it?
19:37Deal.
19:40An old chimney and a scumbage.
19:42I can't hear you.
19:50Are we ready to rock?
19:59Hooray!
19:59Hooray!
20:02Get her away, assistant!
20:04One, two, three!
20:04One, two, three!
20:27I suppose I managed some of the greats now through the years,
20:30like Sonny and the Shoe Shiner's, Betty Shine and the 49ers.
20:33I got a great record deal for Tommy and the Tomahawks,
20:36but they were axed.
20:38What do you go by yourselves?
20:40The sawdoctors.
20:41Who in the sawdoctors?
20:42What?
20:43It must be somebody in the sawdoctors.
20:45Just the sawdoctors.
20:47Just the sawdoctors.
20:48That is good.
20:50Have you played support for Bunty Clark?
20:51No, you loser, you.
20:54They're opening for Bunty Clark.
21:03The Cherokees.
21:17Then Patsy Fogarty and the flat wagons for a while.
21:20I handled Mikey and Mandy after that.
21:22Until Mikey died.
21:24Until Mikey died.
21:25Then I handled Mandy on her own.
21:26Do you know, Shane, you stay off from the belly bugles abroad.
21:31And the photographer.
21:33With the photographer?
21:35Do you have any posters or Ben Kalindos or anything to give to me?
21:39I'm telling you, lads, this could be a big break for you.
21:42Great.
21:43All right, lads, we're on in a minute.
21:45Thank you!
22:09Fiffy, you are mighty!
22:11Quite mighty!
22:12Come here, you two.
22:13If you're going to go start on the ride around here again,
22:16I wish you'd warn me first.
22:18Sorry, Sergeant.
22:20Cheers, them young ones have no sense.
22:30Happy Christmas.
22:36I thank you all for waiting.
22:39I have good news, and I have bad news.
22:43The bad news is, you'll not be here in the diehards tonight as they're under the weather.
22:48But the good news is, their frontman, the great Bunty Clark, will be here later.
22:58But first, give a good Keleskulli welcome for just saw doctors.
23:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:05Oh, we're the Joyce Country, Keleskulli band
23:10Playin' away and they're doin' grand
23:15If you're singin' the song, won't you give us a hand
23:20Cos we're the Joyce Country, Keleskulli band
23:25Friday night and off we go
23:29Friday night and off we go
23:29Tune the fiddle, strain the bow
23:34We take a hand if what a first few sets
23:39Sugar's hardly on in what isn't any it
23:43And we're the Joyce Country, Keleskulli band
23:48Playin' it, Keleskulli band
23:50Playin' the way I'm out doin' grand
23:53Playin' it, killin' it, killin' it
23:55If you're singin' the song, won't you give us a hand
23:57Killin' it, killin' it, killin' it
23:59As will the joyous country, killin' it, man
24:02Thomas and Mary out on the floor
24:07Well, they never lost it, that's the show
24:12I warned you two before the behaviour said that you'd be put out
24:15Sorry, sir
24:17There's a brand new pair of men, a pleated scotch
24:22And we're the joyous country, killin' it
24:26Killin' it, killin' it, killin' it
24:28Playin' the way I'm out doin' grand
24:31Killin' it, killin' it, killin' it
24:33If you're singin' the song, won't you give us a hand
24:35Killin' it, killin' it, killin' it
24:37Cos we're the joyous country, killin' it
24:40Come on, lads
24:42Does it have to be so loud?
24:50What?
24:51Does it have to be so loud?
24:53What?
24:53What?
24:53Give us a wedding's and wigs
24:56Meats and salads, buns and kicks
25:01If you need a few tunes, let's give us a call
25:05Or the house, the pub, or the parish hall
25:10That's why the joyous country, killin' it
25:14Killin' it, killin' it
25:16Killin' it, killin' it
25:18Get your official sword doctor's door rings
25:20Roll up then
25:21What are you doing?
25:22How are you doing?
25:22I'm doing a bootleg on the league
25:24Bootleg on the league
25:25Okay, ladies and gentlemen
25:27Roll up
25:28Get your official sword doctor's merchandise here
25:31There's a princess on the floor all night
25:34Mona, Mona, carna, Mona
25:36She can barely throw them ships all right
25:39Mona, Mona, carna, Mona
25:41Oh, how you imagine how you're on your own
25:43Mona, Mona, carna, Mona
25:46How you fix our receipt back home
25:49Cause we're the joyous country, killin' it
25:53Killin' it, killin' it
25:55Killin' it, killin' it
25:55Playin' the way I'm out doin' right
25:58Killin' it, killin' it
26:00If you're singing a song, won't you give us a hand
26:03Killin' it, killin' it
26:05Cause we're the joyous country, killin' it
26:08Yes, we're the joyous country, killin' it
26:12How's Bunty?
26:19How are you, Dan?
26:20You're up next
26:21No
26:22You're after these lads
26:23I don't think so
26:25What do you mean?
26:26Well
26:26Looter
26:30You're after these lads
26:45Like a K&A band
26:47100%
27:16The crowd is picking up outside their jacksuit. They're getting up.
27:29How's Bunty?
27:30How are you there?
27:31You're up after the...
27:32Ah, for fix sake, Bunky.
27:36Bunky, Bunky, Bunky.
27:40Get your official XR Actors, official merchandise.
27:46I forgot how to say something.
27:52What is that?
27:55Here's what I said.
27:57I'm not here.
27:58But I'm not here.
27:59I'm not here.
27:59I'm not here.
28:01I'm not here.
28:03Alright.
28:03I'm here.