Murphy Brown Season 8 Episode 5 Sex Or Death
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00:00Use the footage and just tack on a new old thing.
00:03Wow, that is great, Miles. That could save me a week's worth of work.
00:07That's what I'm here for. Any other problems?
00:09Yeah, I'm up to the chimney and I'm running out of popsicle sticks. Could you guys lick a little faster?
00:14Give me a break, Murph. My mouth is purple, I can't feel my teeth, and I think I've got a splinter in my tongue.
00:20Yeah, really, Murph, it's one thing to force us to have the story meeting at your house.
00:23It's quite another to expect us to eat our weight in fudge bombs and fruity sticks.
00:28Are you saying that the little popsicle stick community that Avery's preschool class is building should go without its feminist bookstore? Is that what you're saying?
00:36Murph, couldn't you have just gone down to an art supply store and bought a bag full of popsicle sticks?
00:42Gorky, the whole point of this project is for Avery not to just throw things away, but learn how to reuse them.
00:47Then shouldn't Avery be doing this? Oh, right, like I'm gonna let him eat all this crap.
00:54Hey, sweetie, what's the matter? Couldn't you sleep?
00:57No, he's in my closet again.
01:01Oh, no. Well, I'm gonna go get rid of him.
01:05Who does he think's in there, Murph?
01:07Scar from The Lion King.
01:09You pay $4.50 for the movie, $20 for the tape, and you get to lose three weeks of sleep.
01:13I love Disney.
01:15All right, Frank, I need you to help me, and you too, Jim.
01:18I'll be Nala, the gentle lioness.
01:21Jim, you'll be Rafiki, the wise baboon.
01:23And Frank, you're Pumbaa.
01:25Great, who's Pumbaa?
01:26I'm glad you're a warthog.
01:29Hold on a second.
01:30Isn't there some kind of fun-loving zebra or gorilla I could play?
01:34No, I see you as more of a Pumbaa.
01:36You know, Miles, I have to tell you, I've never seen you as in command as you were tonight.
01:47Really?
01:49Every time someone brought up a problem, you had the solution.
01:53Every time someone had an idea, you made it better.
01:57You were just amazing.
01:59Now, Corky, the real heroes are the ones out there lying to Congress and wrecking the environment.
02:07Because without them, there'd be no news.
02:12Miles, remember how we agreed that we weren't going to sleep together until everything seemed right between us?
02:23Uh-huh.
02:24We didn't feel it would be right to introduce premarital sex into our marriage.
02:29Not to rush you or anything.
02:31And I hope you don't think less of me for bringing this up.
02:35But, um, things really seem right between us.
02:41So what would you think if I suggested we...
02:45We...
02:50We... what?
02:52We, you know, explored the pleasures of the flesh.
03:05Pleasures?
03:10You mean, you want to have sex?
03:13Oh, God.
03:14You're right.
03:15I'm sorry.
03:16It was too soon.
03:18Forget I every...
03:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:22Hold on.
03:24Let me consider this.
03:26I want to be fair.
03:31You know, I could see some definite advantages to us having sex.
03:36For instance, the sex itself, we would be having.
03:41And we are married.
03:43I would probably feel even more married afterwards.
03:46I know I will.
03:49Good.
03:51Because all I've been able to think about tonight is kissing that sexy little executive producer mouth.
03:57Come on.
03:59What do you say, uh, we go back to my place?
04:03Put on some music?
04:04Like, I've got one of those CD players that, when it gets to the end of the disc, it starts all over again.
04:12You know what I mean?
04:15No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:18I don't mean now.
04:19No.
04:21Our first time is going to be a night we're going to remember for the rest of our lives.
04:25Like a movie, we're going to play over and over and over and over again.
04:30Until we're both dead.
04:31Yeah.
04:32Now, it has to be special.
04:37Of course it does.
04:38So, I'll get some flowers.
04:41We'll go out to dinner.
04:43Pour ourselves a little bubbly.
04:45No, no.
04:47I mean special.
04:50Oh, special.
04:52I didn't hear.
04:55Don't you worry.
04:57Because I am Mr. Special.
05:00I told you to stick to the script, Frank, but no, you had to improvise.
05:05Mad Zulu, witch doctor.
05:07They seemed a little bored.
05:09I thought we were losing him.
05:10He was going to sleep.
05:12I'm leaving.
05:14I want to be home before my stomach has to reckon with those frozen corn dogs you passed over.
05:20Popsicle.
05:21Unless you'd be getting home to Doris.
05:24If I'm not in bed by the time Lando does his first Judge Ito joke, she locks me out and then shows me what I could have had through the window.
05:29Miles, are you coming?
05:34Uh, no.
05:35I have some last minute thoughts on Mercury's story.
05:37Well, I guess it's a good night then.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Good night.
05:43I'll be thinking about you.
05:45I'll be dreaming about you.
05:47I'll be thinking and dreaming about you.
05:50Well, sounds like you got a busy night, Eddie.
05:51You better get moving.
05:53Miles, it's late.
05:54I'm tired and I still have to figure out how to make my feminist bookstore wheelchair accessible.
05:58I still haven't slept with Corky yet and I really need some advice.
06:06You still haven't slept with Corky?
06:09Jeez, no wonder you were funneling that throw pillow all night.
06:14Oh, God, you think we're insane, don't you?
06:17No, no.
06:19No, I don't think you're insane.
06:21I mean, so many married couples just rush into having sex today.
06:26I find it refreshing that there are still two people who are willing to wait for the...
06:32What exactly are you waiting for?
06:34That's just it.
06:35We're not waiting anymore.
06:36She wants to.
06:37I want to.
06:38We want to.
06:40I want to.
06:41So do it.
06:42Just don't tell me about it.
06:44But I need advice.
06:46Corky says she wants this night to be special, which apparently doesn't mean dinner and flowers.
06:51So what do you think she means by special?
06:53Because if it's some sort of physical thing, I'm good, but I'm not 19 anymore.
07:00Oh, please, Miles.
07:01I don't like thinking about my co-workers having sex.
07:03It's nothing personal.
07:04It just makes my flesh crawl.
07:06But Corky...
07:06Oh, there it goes.
07:08Please, I am desperate for help.
07:10I'm like a little orphan boy selling apples on the street corner.
07:14Won't you buy some apples for me?
07:17Won't you please?
07:17I'd like to help you, Miles, but whenever I try to picture your night of passion,
07:23all I can see is Jughead strutting around and nothing but a towel in that little felt crown.
07:29Okay, fine.
07:31I'll handle this myself.
07:32I'll just get her a gift.
07:35Maybe some lingerie.
07:37All right, let me put an end to this myth right now.
07:39Lingerie is a gift men give to themselves.
07:42But the women in the catalogs look so happy.
07:45Of course they look happy.
07:47If someone paid me $10,000 to sit around in my underwear all day,
07:50you couldn't blowtorch the smile off my face.
07:55When Corky said she didn't want flowers, she meant she wants flowers.
08:04What the hell are flowers?
08:08Flowers are those ugly, wilted things you buy on an off-ramp.
08:11Flowers are some lilies in a crystal vase in an expensive hotel room.
08:18Oh, okay.
08:20I hear you.
08:21So what you're saying is Corky might like a little lingerie.
08:24No, it's not that difficult.
08:28You just have to consider what a woman's tastes are.
08:31I mean, Corky would probably like some tickets to the ice capades.
08:34You want me to share my big night
08:38with a bunch of twirling guys in flesh-colored unitards?
08:42All right, all right.
08:43Maybe it'll help if I don't picture you and Corky.
08:47Maybe if I think of a romantic evening with you and...
08:51Cindy Crawford.
08:53No, that's not going to work.
08:57Uh, maybe Corky and Antonio Banderas.
09:02No.
09:04Me and Antonio Banderas.
09:13Murphy.
09:15Murphy.
09:17Empire Hotel, presidential suites, satin sheets, chocolate-covered strawberries,
09:22and start the evening with a nice, deep shoulder rub,
09:24but not one of those rub, rub, rub, oh, my hands are tired.
09:27A nice, long massage.
09:30Wow.
09:32Yeah, well, it's an expensive evening.
09:34But just remember that between the towels and the coat hangers,
09:37you're not just leaving with memories,
09:39but keepsakes, you'll treasure for life.
09:43For every parent who...
09:45Good morning, Mrs. Sherwood-Silverberg.
09:47Good morning.
09:48I think you'll find everything is in place for this evening.
09:52Correction.
09:53This special evening.
09:56And to get things started.
09:59A flower stem?
10:02One of the most perfect rows I've ever seen.
10:04When I told it it was for you,
10:06it shed its petals from the embarrassment of paling next to your beauty.
10:09Do you like that?
10:16It's a powder.
10:17Okay, fall.
10:19Okay.
10:20Miles, you're not gonna believe this.
10:23Glenn Ramsey, former movie star, current Senate hopeful,
10:26can put his Election Day chances in a box
10:28and ship them off to Ain't Gonna Happenland,
10:31care of Gary Hart.
10:33What?
10:34Ramsey was a shoo-in.
10:35Yeah, yeah, well, apparently the so-called family man
10:38broke three basic rules.
10:40One, don't have an affair with your children's nanny.
10:43Two, if you do, don't leave dirty messages on a ranchering machine.
10:46And three, if you dump her, don't tell her,
10:48go public.
10:48Ha!
10:49You'd never have the guts.
10:52Glenn Ramsey, eh?
10:54No, I never trusted him.
10:56I mean, look at the man's career.
10:59He ratted on John Wayne and fighting jarheads of Iwo Jima.
11:02Sold out his battalion in Red Dogs at Dawn.
11:04Well, practice superior officer in Hanoi, we have a problem.
11:09Sure, some might say they're just movies,
11:11but you don't learn that kind of evil
11:14at the Yale School of Drama.
11:19Wow.
11:20Shameful behavior, questionable ethics, blatant hypocrisy.
11:24Murphy, this story has your name written all over it.
11:29Miles, you have to hear the tip I just got.
11:32Really? What is it?
11:33Apparently, Glenn Ramsey slept with his kid's nanny,
11:36and there are tapes.
11:37Can you believe it?
11:39Oh, Miles, this is a perfect story for me, don't you think?
11:41Well, I just...
11:43I mean, I interviewed him on the set of his last movie,
11:45so he knows me,
11:46and I even met the nanny.
11:48Now, I know this is the kind of story you'd usually give to Murphy,
11:52but I really think this would be a great opportunity for me,
11:55don't you?
11:57It could.
11:58You think so, too?
12:01Miles, it's like you're looking at me in a whole new light.
12:05I mean, it makes me feel even more sure than ever,
12:07but, you know, us.
12:09The story's yours.
12:24Hey there, fellas.
12:25Hello, Phil.
12:26You remember my son, Phil Jr., don't you?
12:29Wow, but last time we saw you,
12:31you were reading comics and living upstairs at your folks' house.
12:34Boy, it has been a while, hasn't it?
12:36Yeah, I moved out of there a long time ago.
12:38Yep.
12:39Living in the garage now.
12:42Yeah, I'm teaching the kid the ropes.
12:45Hopefully someday he'll be able to take over for me
12:47the way I took over for my dad.
12:50Oh, um, yeah, that kind of reminds me,
12:52that whole employees must-wash hands thing,
12:56does that apply to family, too?
13:01Right, I'll be right back.
13:04Oh, yeah.
13:06I'm one proud bumper.
13:11Hey, Miles, how's it going?
13:12Great, just great.
13:13Sure, I've just done something suicidal
13:15and there's no possible escape from my impending doom,
13:18but why should I let that ruin my day?
13:20Oh, come on.
13:20Yeah, I'm gonna care for you that bad.
13:22I just gave the same story to Murphy and Corky.
13:24For God's sake, man, run, run.
13:28You gave Murphy and Corky the same story?
13:31What the hell were you thinking?
13:33Well, first, Murphy came to me with the Ramsey story.
13:36Then, Corky came to me with the Ramsey story.
13:39And, well, let me ask you something.
13:42Do you think it's weird to be married and not have sex for three months?
13:45Of course not.
13:46Oh, you mean the first three months.
13:53Well, Corky and I haven't, but we're supposed to tonight for the first time.
14:00But if I don't give Corky that story, she'll be so mad there's no way tonight will ever happen.
14:04But if I take the story away from Murphy, she'll kill me.
14:06I've got a solution, Miles.
14:08Now, it might seem a little radical.
14:10I am open to anything, Frank.
14:12What's your idea?
14:12Give the story to me.
14:16Let me see if I understand this.
14:19I give you the story.
14:20Corky and I don't have sex.
14:22And Murphy still kills me.
14:23No, I don't think that's gonna work.
14:24Right.
14:28Miles.
14:29God, I'm glad I found you.
14:30You better get back to the office.
14:32For some deluded reason, Corky thinks she's been assigned my Ramsey story.
14:36Two people on the same story?
14:38That's not the FYI way, you guys.
14:44Where did she get the idea?
14:48Did you tell her something she could have misinterpreted?
14:50I don't know.
14:51Unless it's when she asked me if she could do the story and I said yes.
14:55That might have been it.
14:57You told her that?
14:59Are you nuts?
15:00I'm sorry, it just sort of slipped out.
15:02Well, slip it back in.
15:04There's only one person who's right for the story and she's not married to you.
15:08But Corky has a lead on the tapes.
15:10And I'll bet if you help her piece that story together, write the copy and edit it, she'll
15:14do a great job.
15:16I know what this is all about.
15:18This is a gift for Corky for your big prom date, isn't it?
15:23Why?
15:23Just because I haven't had sex with my wife, ever?
15:28Well, just give me a little bit more credit to that.
15:32Miles, this story is mine and you know it.
15:35Do you really want to carry around that kind of guilt?
15:39Especially tonight, when you want everything to function properly?
15:43No, not that.
15:50Don't threaten me with that.
15:51Oh, I'm not threatening you.
15:52I'm just suggesting that guilt can be debilitating.
15:55Very debilitating.
15:56Oh, all right.
16:00The story's yours.
16:02Yes.
16:02All right.
16:03I'm going to get the tapes from Corky tomorrow and I'm sure everything will be fine tonight.
16:07Just remember, slow and steady wins the race.
16:12Hey, buddy.
16:13Get a load of this.
16:14My dad tells me there's some guy in the bar, been married for three months, hasn't had sex
16:18with his wife yet.
16:22What a loser!
16:26This suite just goes on and on and on and on.
16:41Big suite, Corky.
16:45You know, Miles, when I was a little girl, I always dreamed about spending a special night
16:53in the presidential suite of a hotel, feeding chocolate-covered strawberries to my handsome
16:59Jewish executive producer husband.
17:08Really?
17:09Okay.
17:10Maybe it was my handsome Baptist Cadillac dealer husband, but what I'm trying to say is, I am
17:17so lucky I have the perfect man.
17:21I am working on the most exciting story of my career.
17:25I just don't know how things could possibly get any better.
17:31Oh, yeah.
17:33Good fortune's got us in a chokehold.
17:37Listen, Corky, I have something to tell you.
17:39Miles, is it my imagination?
17:41Are you a little tense?
17:42Ooh, you are.
17:43I think you need a little back rub.
17:48They always warned us on the bus rides up to church camp that back rubs could lead to
17:55front rubs.
17:57But I don't have to do it in the right way.
18:00Oh, yeah, this really works.
18:01Um, anyway, Corky, let those sun go.
18:04Is that for me?
18:06You shouldn't have.
18:07Oh, boy.
18:12Lingerie.
18:14And tickets to the ice capades.
18:17Oh, my God, the ice capades.
18:22How could two people from such different backgrounds be so exactly alike?
18:26Um, fluoride?
18:29Listen, Corky, there's something I want to talk to you about.
18:32Well, whatever it is, it's just going to have to wait until I slip this on.
18:34Woo!
18:35You mean you're actually going to wear it?
18:38Well, I'd wear the tickets to the ice capades, but they wouldn't be as much fun to take
18:42off now, would they?
18:51Hi, Miles.
18:52Ooh, nice room.
18:53Murphy, what are you doing here?
18:55This is my special night.
18:57Well, don't blame me.
18:58You're the one who told the front desk to hold all calls.
19:00Glenn Ramsey has announced a press conference.
19:02Apparently, he's decided to actually go through with his candidacy, so I don't have much time.
19:07I need to find out where Corky stashed those tapes.
19:09Ooh, you naughty little boy.
19:12You bought this one size too small.
19:16Oh, God, you're going to ruin everything.
19:18Quick, get in the closet.
19:19You get in the closet.
19:22Miles.
19:23What's Murphy doing here?
19:25Hey, you said special.
19:32Trust me, Corky.
19:33I really don't want to be here.
19:35I said, just give me the Ramsey tapes, and I'll be on my way.
19:38The tapes?
19:39Why do you want the tapes?
19:41My story.
19:42It's my story.
19:43Oh, Miles.
19:44Hey, you wrestling midgets on pay-per-view.
19:46Sounds like a...
19:47What is going on?
19:49Sweetheart, I think that's a champagne nut.
19:51Miles, I'm sorry to be bursting in on this most special of occasions.
19:56Don't be silly.
19:58Come in.
19:58Come in.
19:59What are you guys doing here?
20:00I thought I told you to wait downstairs.
20:02Murphy, how is it that even your most hurtful rebukes are as sweet as strawberry wine?
20:09Hey, Corky.
20:11Congratulations on your nuptials.
20:13Crew's working on getting you a gift.
20:14But that's nice, too.
20:20Look, Corky, I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but Miles assigned the story to me,
20:25and I'm sure he was just about to tell you himself.
20:27Because if he doesn't, he's gonna find out what it's like to plunge backwards out a window
20:30with cheap lingerie wrapped around his neck.
20:32Murphy, it doesn't look great on you.
20:34Miles, tonight may not be the night, but just for future reference,
20:38sometimes I freelance for the camera.
20:39Oh, Miles, the Prince Conference is in an hour.
20:45Can we decide who's gonna do this or no one's gonna get the story?
20:49Yes, Miles, can we?
20:50Yes, we can.
20:52Okay.
20:54The story goes to...
20:57Corky.
20:58Carol, open the window.
20:59Wait, wait, we're going.
21:01You're in Murphy.
21:02The story's breaking.
21:03I've got to go now.
21:03Did I say you had the story?
21:05Oh, what a night.
21:07I meant Murphy had the story.
21:10Miles, don't give Murphy the story just because you want me to stay.
21:14Pick the person who you think will do the best job.
21:16Corky, there's every reason you should do this piece.
21:20You've got the tapes and you've interviewed Ramsey before.
21:22That's right.
21:23But the bottom line is, this is more than just a story about the unmaking of a candidate.
21:28This is a case study of the open disrespect politicians have for the American people.
21:33I'm sorry, honey, but I need Murphy on this one.
21:36All right, then.
21:40Murphy, the tapes are in the third drawer on the left in my desk.
21:44Okay, guys, step lively.
21:45Party's over.
21:46Corky, thank you.
21:47And I promise, next nanny dating actor politician sex scandal that comes along, it's all yours.
21:54You know, Murphy, I've always fantasized that one day we'd have a room like this.
22:02And for five beautiful minutes, we did.
22:06You hate me, don't you?
22:14No.
22:17I always knew work would intrude on our private lives.
22:21I just wish you'd been more up front with me.
22:25I'm sorry, Corky.
22:27I never meant for it to end up like this.
22:29I know, even though I'm disappointed, I do admire the way you stood your ground.
22:38Really?
22:42Well, I, uh, I guess I should call you a cab or something.
22:46Then again, room is ours for the night.
22:55Be a shame to waste it.
22:57You mean you want to stay?
23:02Uh-huh.
23:03Oh, wow.
23:13In a million years, I never thought this night would end up this way.
23:17Why not?
23:19Well, after I gave a story to Murphy, I just assumed you wouldn't want to sleep with me.
23:24You rule.
23:25No more work talk.
23:26Wait a minute.
23:27You thought I wouldn't sleep with you unless you gave me the story?
23:31Silly, huh?
23:33I'm going to think I was about to give you my goodies.
23:38One thing's painfully clear.
23:41We obviously don't know each other well enough to be sleeping together.
23:45Corky, wait!
23:46Good night, Miles.
23:47What about the strawberries?
23:48We can still feed each other strawberries.
24:03Well, this sure has been a special night.
24:08There we go.
24:14Let's get into it.
24:18Bye-bye.
24:22Bye-bye.
24:23Bye-bye.
24:27Bye-bye.
24:28Bye-bye.
24:28Bye-bye.
24:30Bye-bye.
24:30Bye-bye.
24:31Bye-bye.
24:35Bye-bye.
24:35Bye-bye.
24:37Bye-bye.