Murphy Brown Season 5 Episode 11 Till Death Or Next Thursday Do We Part
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00:00Out of my world, I woke up
00:02Suddenly I just woke up
00:05Things are happening
00:07When you find it, that's love for you to be happy
00:13Cause when you gotta tell my love, you don't take care of
00:17Then you better beware of
00:21Love's happening
00:23One day you're up
00:26One day you're up
00:27When you turn around
00:29When you turn around
00:30You find your world
00:32You find your world
00:34It's coming down
00:35It's coming down
00:36It happened to me
00:39And it can happen for you
00:41I was sure I felt secure
00:46I'm still not sure
00:48I'm still not sure
00:48I'm still not sure
00:50I'm not sure
00:51I'm not sure
00:52But the world is high
00:53Well, this is some evening here, isn't it?
00:57Oh, big, big evening
00:59Yep
01:00How about that Will, huh?
01:03He sells his first novel
01:05Gets to write the screenplay
01:06Looks like a big hit
01:08Big, big
01:09Yep
01:10Yeah, it's quite a movie
01:12I thought they did a fine job with these
01:16They really captured the spirit of them
01:20Oh, good Lord
01:22What a humongous piece of dough
01:24That was the worst experience I've ever had in a movie
01:28And that includes the time I took Jodie Brockleman to see Saturday Night Fever
01:32And spent two hours mistakenly following her eyeglass case
01:35Oh, this is agony
01:37Halfway through, I tried to pry the arm rest off my chair
01:39So I could use it to beat myself senseless
01:41Did you believe the casting?
01:43How about kindly Uncle Johan blinded in a freak glass-blowing accident?
01:48I'm sorry
01:49But Mel Gibson
01:50Guys, you know, Will and Corky are gonna be here in a second
01:54We have to think of what we're gonna say to them
01:56No problem
01:57I'm just gonna go with my usual
01:58It touched me in a very personal way
02:01Yeah, it touched me
02:02Mostly in my lower intestinal tract
02:04He told me it was very faithful to the book
02:07I hated the book, too
02:08Come on, you guys, you're using up all the good ones
02:11What am I supposed to talk about?
02:13Uh, the costumes?
02:14Don't
02:14Music?
02:15Don't
02:15Jim!
02:16I know
02:17What about cinematography?
02:18That's good
02:19That always works
02:19Hey there, everybody
02:22Hey
02:22So
02:23How was the picture?
02:26The cinematography was great
02:27It's not bad, huh?
02:29Oh, okay
02:29Wasn't that obvious?
02:32No, I just have a sense about these things
02:35Plus, Sister Lieber's are in the men's room
02:38Taking turns doing the Dry Eve Ballet
02:41Well, I, for one, have too much integrity to lie
02:45When Will comes, I'm gonna tell him exactly what I thought
02:48Bravo! Bravo!
02:50Bravo!
02:54It was
02:55Oh, here I said it
02:56Well, I, I just have to say
03:00In all honesty
03:01That your movie
03:02Touched me in a very personal way
03:05Thanks, Frank
03:07I appreciate that
03:08What did you think, Murphy?
03:10Oh, well
03:11I'd have to say
03:13It touched me, too
03:14Actually, it touched me first
03:16Aren't you gonna tell them what happened?
03:21Oh, alright
03:21You're gonna find out soon enough, anyway
03:23I, I'm being sued for plagiarism
03:26What?
03:26Are you kidding?
03:27You mean someone else wants to take credit for that
03:29Perfect year?
03:30Oh, piece of word
03:32They served us with the papers right in front of the theater
03:35Apparently, some guy is saying he wrote a book just like Will's 30 years ago
03:41Well, it's ridiculous
03:42My book is about a little Dutch boy and his horse
03:44And the part they played in the American Revolution
03:47This other guy's book is about a little Norwegian boy and his donkey
03:50And the part they played in the French Revolution
03:52It's like they pulled this stuff out of thin air, isn't it?
03:57Oh, honey, don't upset yourself
03:59Things will work out
04:00And whatever happens, we'll face it together
04:02Okay, I guess so
04:03I just had to get it out of my system
04:04But I'm okay now
04:05That's my bunny bunster
04:07Now let's enjoy your party
04:11Everyone
04:12I'd like to make a toast
04:14To the one and only writer
04:17Of the little Dutch boy
04:19Oh, that's my glass, Will
04:21Oh, your glass
04:23Oh, I suppose I stole that, too
04:26Well, why don't you go ahead and sue me?
04:29Here's a fun fact
04:36In the movie, Mel Gibson did all his own glassblowing
04:39Dr. Bindleby
04:43They said it wouldn't go to trial
04:45All of a sudden, we're in a room
04:46With gavels and flags
04:48And a big, tall judge's chair
04:49And I don't think that's a very good sign
04:51First, it's not a trial
04:55It's a hearing
04:55So, let's all smile
04:58Explanation
05:01Innocent people smile
05:03Now, their side's gonna try and prove substantial similarity between books
05:10Standard just cause
05:13In copyright infringement cases
05:14I've seen it a thousand times
05:17Which is why
05:18We're
05:19Smiling
05:21Okay
05:23You have to help us
05:25My husband's too pretty to go to jail
05:27Corky
05:29Honey
05:30This is a civil suit
05:32And that means the worst that can happen is
05:35We lose everything we own
05:37Good
05:39John
05:41I didn't steal the book
05:42But how do I prove that?
05:44I used to be a lawyer
05:44I know how hard it is to prove the negative
05:46You wanna know my plan?
05:49You
05:49You're my plan
05:51We put you up on the stand
05:53The clean-cut kid
05:54With a pretty young wife
05:55Who do you think the judge is gonna believe, huh?
05:57You
05:57Or some slimy opportunistic scam artist?
06:01Do please excuse me
06:03Is either of you young gentlemen Will Forrest?
06:07I'm Will Forrest
06:08Oh, hello
06:09I'm Alan Brookens
06:11I'm the fellow who's suing you
06:14I didn't steal anything from you, sir
06:18I want you to know that
06:19I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose
06:21Perhaps your mother read my book to you
06:24When you were a little child
06:25And we're still smiling
06:27My wife was always reading that book
06:30To all the children in the neighborhood
06:32We couldn't have young ones of our own
06:36And so we thought of
06:38Olaf, that's the little Norwegian boy in the book
06:40That's our child
06:42Does she love to read that story?
06:48In fact, she was reading it
06:50The night the angels came to take her away
06:53Oh, you poor man
06:56Corky
06:57Well, I don't want to boy you
07:00With an old man's rambling face
07:02I have taffy
07:04If anyone wants a sweet
07:06You're not smiling
07:10All right, Corky
07:15What's on your mind?
07:16You've been real quiet
07:17Since we left the courthouse
07:18It's nothing
07:19I'm just wondering
07:21Why that sweet old man's
07:22Corky, would you please
07:23Stop calling him that
07:24It sounds like you're on his side
07:26I'm not
07:27You took his taffy
07:28I didn't do that
07:30I was just being polite
07:32Oh, I think you took care of that
07:33When you ran out during the recess
07:35To get him a tube of deep heating rub
07:36Look, if you're having your doubts
07:38Maybe you shouldn't come to the courthouse tomorrow
07:40No, no, no
07:42I'll be there
07:43I've waited this long
07:45For us to have a normal life
07:46What's another day?
07:47Our week?
07:48Our month?
07:50Our year?
07:54Hold on
07:54You wouldn't get your normal life
07:57I've been feeling more than enough pressure these days, Corky
08:00Without you adding to it, if you don't mind
08:02You are feeling pressure
08:03I'm the one Maury Povich is calling the little Dutch boy's illegitimate mother
08:09God, you don't think they hurt us, do you?
08:18I don't care
08:19I didn't want to come up here in the first place
08:20You, you, you
08:22That was not you, isn't it?
08:24I did eat that taffy
08:27And it was delicious
08:29Okay, honey
08:32See when I get home
08:35There's a pumpkin pie in the freezer family
08:37Love you
08:38Love you, too
08:39Hello
08:41Uh, Corky
08:45How did things go on court today?
08:49Oh, fine
08:49Looks like they have a pretty good case against us
08:52Could drag on for months
08:54And if the old man decides to super punitive damages
08:57I could be held financially liable
08:59Other than that
09:01I really think the trial is bringing Will and me closer
09:04Corky
09:07It's okay
09:08We heard everything from the ninth floor up
09:10God
09:11Now everybody knows
09:13We're never gonna win this case
09:15Honus and his horse
09:18Oh, I've been his mule
09:20It's the same book
09:22Just different names, countries, and pets you can ride
09:26You know, my husband hasn't touched me in over five months
09:32Really?
09:33Could you call Doris and tell her that?
09:35She seems to think it's unusual
09:36Corky, um
09:49I don't know what to say
09:52But if you're having a personal problem
09:55Maybe you should talk to someone about it
09:57Oh
09:58Yes, I can talk to Murphy
10:01Well
10:03Okay
10:06Um
10:07I was thinking more along the lines of a nurturing, caring person
10:11Since Murphy's right here
10:15Couldn't hurt
10:17Well
10:19Murphy, I
10:25Murphy
10:29Were you hiding from me?
10:33Hiding?
10:35Don't be ridiculous
10:36I was checking my door hinges
10:39I was checking the company memo
10:41There have been spontaneous hinge failures all over the building
10:44Please
10:45I need your help
10:46No, no, no, no
10:47You don't
10:48You just look for a metal file
10:49Murphy
10:49I'm serious
10:51My whole world is falling apart
10:54Okay
10:55Sit down
10:57We'll give it a shot
10:59But I'm just going to caution you
11:01There are some areas I'm not very good in
11:04Murphy
11:05Do you know I haven't been with my husband in a womanly way for over five months
11:10Okay, we have a flag down
11:12And we mention that your sex life is out of bounds
11:15I'm sorry, but those are the rules
11:16Continue
11:16I don't know what's going to happen
11:18Will doesn't have any way to prove he didn't steal that book
11:23It's his word against the old man's
11:25I know he wrote that book
11:27All those nights he didn't come to bed
11:30Ah, ah, ah
11:31There's that area again
11:32I don't remember what he went through
11:35Every night I'd be up writing in my journal
11:38And there was always something about that stupid book in there
11:42Wait a minute
11:43You wrote about what he was doing every night?
11:47Except for when someone good was on the Tonight Show
11:49So just about every night
11:52Do you realize what you're saying?
11:58You charted out the creative process Will went through
12:03If you offer it as evidence, you could be looking at a dismissal
12:07I can't read my journal in front of a room full of strangers
12:10It's full of intimate thoughts and feelings
12:14Secrets, poems, a record of my monthly water weight gain
12:21Oh, come on, Carty
12:24I finally give you a great piece of advice
12:27Are you telling me you're going to ignore it?
12:29Murphy, I just can't do it
12:31Maybe everything will turn out okay
12:34Maybe this sweet old man will decide to drop the lawsuit
12:39Maybe you'll just choke on a piece of taffy
12:43All right, everybody, I have an announcement to make
12:50As of this moment, I, Murphy Brown, have given my last piece of advice
12:54My wife always loved reading my book, Your Honor
13:09In fact, she was reading it the night that the angels came to take
13:14Take her away
13:17God, he's good
13:20Why did I ever get any clients like that?
13:24Hey, guys, we decided to come down and give you a little mental support
13:32Really? Oh, that's so sweet
13:35You too, Bobby?
13:37Hey, I was in the building anyway, taking care of some things
13:40Paying some parking tickets, renewing my fishing license
13:44Thank you, Murphy
13:46I'm telling you, it's past season
13:48And since I have no other heirs, I've bequeathed all my profits from the book to the
13:56Greater Baltimore Boys Home in memory of little Olaf
14:01His son
14:03We never had
14:05Ouch
14:07Thank you, Mr. Brookings, for that touching, heartfelt testimony
14:13You may step down
14:13Well, I didn't really want to be a writer that much anyway
14:17I guess I could always go back to being a lawyer
14:20Or I could throw myself in front of a train
14:24And the angels will come and take me away
14:25Mr. Brookings, if you have nothing further
14:29Your Honor
14:29I move that we just wait one minute while I talk with my husband
14:34Corky, what are you doing?
14:36I kept a journal, Will
14:37I wrote in it every night while you were working on your book
14:40You did?
14:41Uh-huh
14:41I wrote about when you got the original idea
14:44When you finished each of the chapters
14:47Smile, boys and girls, we're back at business
14:49Honey, just so you know
14:52You'll probably be surprised by some of the more personal thoughts
14:56I don't care, I don't care
14:58Whatever it is, I don't care
14:59If it please the court
15:02I have new evidence to present
15:04This is from February 12, 1991
15:10Dear diary
15:11Cloudy and damp
15:13Wore the white silk blouse with the tartan skirt and the pearl earrings
15:17I like to keep track
15:20Will is still trying to find the right idea for his great American novel
15:25Last week it was going to be about a small Texas town
15:29Where Jesus returns to earth as a member of a highway department road crew
15:33There comes a miracle involving asphalt
15:36Tonight, he's talking about a Dutch boy who plays a part in the American Revolution
15:44I thought Will was a bright guy, but I'm beginning to wonder
15:50I'm sorry, honey
15:53I guess I was just a little tired that night
15:56P.S.
15:58Remember to bring wrinkle cream to work
16:00Frank asked about it again today
16:02Who's Frank?
16:07Oh, Frank Fontana
16:11That's him right over there
16:12Don't scrunch up your face, Frank
16:17It makes those lines around your eyes even worse
16:20Let's, uh, let's skip ahead to August of that year
16:27August 14th
16:31Beer diary
16:32Light rain
16:34Gray Donna Karen
16:35Murphy outdid herself today
16:39She dropped a quarter under one of the vending machines
16:42Then made three guys move it so she'd get it back
16:45With all the money she makes
16:48She is probably the cheapest person I have ever known
16:52With the exception of Jim
16:55It's three in the morning
17:02And Will is still in the den typing
17:05I'm alone again
17:07Naturally
17:09I miss him so much
17:12But at the same time, I'm so angry
17:15He touches his typewriter more than he touches me
17:19Let's move on to January of this year
17:24January of the night
17:29Snow and wind
17:30Liz Claiborne wool jacket and skirt
17:32Had lunch with Miles and Audrey this afternoon
17:37When Miles was in the little boys' room
17:39Audrey told me about a game he likes to play
17:42When they make love
17:43Called the insatiable Jewish stranger from out of town
17:47Bitch wants Miles
17:53Will just poked his head in to tell me that chapter four is done
18:05I should have been happy for him
18:09But I couldn't find it in myself
18:12I can't believe how much I hate that bleeping little Dutch kid
18:18How much I hate his bleeping, blind, glass-blowing Uncle Johan
18:24And how bleeping much I hate that bleeping horse
18:28Mrs. Sherwood Forrest
18:30If your diary is going to be entered as evidence
18:33You'll have to read it as you wrote it
18:36Expertise included
18:37I am reading what I wrote
18:39I hate that bleeping little Dutch kid
18:44She's right in
18:47And so, having heard the arduous, tortured road that Mr. Forrest traveled to create his book
18:56Our every word was labored over in an almost maniacal fashion
19:00I find it inconceivable
19:02That this work could have ever been plagiarized
19:05This case is dismissed
19:07Congratulations, Will
19:15I told you I was innocent
19:17I know
19:18How about that?
19:20Keep an eye on this one
19:21Looks like she might be the writer of the family, huh?
19:26Bye-bye
19:26I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings
19:33Jim, when I read that part about your breath
19:37It was just that one day you had gumbo for lunch
19:40I think we all heard a few things we'd rather not hear
19:43But it was the truth
19:45And sometimes the truth is ugly
19:47And apparently so was the outfit I wore on June 10th of this year
19:51Look, we should get going
19:55I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about
19:57Not that you have to talk
20:00I mean, really, nothing happened here to made us think
20:02Gee, they really have to start talking
20:03We'll leave you now
20:04Bye
20:04Congratulations
20:07One time
20:10One time I pretended to be Meyer, the rabbinical student
20:13I should be running along, too
20:17I saw a dime in the sewer grate outside the courthouse
20:20And I want to get to it before Jim does
20:22Uh, you know, now that everything's settled
20:29It might be a good time to wipe the slate clean
20:32And get a fresh start
20:34I think that's the best advice I ever gave anyone
20:38Good luck
20:40Well, I'm so sorry
20:49You don't have to apologize
20:50I felt the same way at times
20:52Alone and needing a little support
20:54When you were working or out of town
20:56You know
21:00We're forgetting something pretty important here
21:03This diary was just about the bad times
21:07There have been a lot of good times these past two years
21:11Oh, that's right
21:12Since we got married, life's been pretty amazing
21:15I got my book published
21:17I delivered the commencement address at Eastern Louisiana University
21:21I wrote my screenplay
21:23I hosted the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
21:26All those good times
21:28And we enjoyed them without each other
21:34There were me good times
21:38And you good times
21:40But no us good times
21:43Okay, so we start now
21:46Us good times only
21:48How?
21:51With you working in California and me here
21:54It's like Murphy said
21:58We have a chance to wipe the slate clean
22:03And make a fresh start
22:05I'm just not sure if it's a fresh start together
22:10Why can't we get this right?
22:15Why don't we get to grow old together
22:18And have a dozen grandchildren
22:21And die in each other's arms?
22:26Because we both want too much
22:28Look, I don't want to decide anything right now
22:36Maybe we should just spend a little time apart
22:38And see how we feel
22:40Why not?
22:45It's worked so far
22:48I love you, Corky
22:54I know
22:58It's okay
22:59Okay, so I'm going to wrap it up
23:01Okay, so I'm going to try to look at me
23:02Okay, so I'm going to wrap it up
23:32November 30th, partly cloudy, gray suit, striped blouse.
23:55Bill won this case in court today.
24:01The end.
24:05It was a mystery why the mullet was ever invented, until now.
24:25If you cut your hair shorter in the front and let it grow a little in the back, your neck
24:32would look longer.
24:33Of course.
24:34The elongated neck theorem.
24:36Genius.
24:37Genius.
24:45Genius.
24:46Genius.
24:47Genius.