Murphy Brown Season 5 Episode 6 Night Of Living News
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00And I have to say...
00:00Miles, please.
00:02I may be a network VP, but I think we can drop this Mr. Baldwin business.
00:06And here on end, why don't we do this on a first name basis?
00:09Well, thank you.
00:11It means a lot to know you think of me as equal.
00:14Mitch?
00:15It's Mitchell.
00:19Of course.
00:20Mitchell.
00:21What was I thinking?
00:22You're not a Mitch.
00:23I went to school with a Mitch.
00:24He was a short, fat Jewish kid.
00:26You're tall and thin and probably not Jewish.
00:35All right, everybody.
00:36Listen up.
00:37When I left last night, Bob R. was holding a big fuzzy peanut in his trunk.
00:42It was a gift from Rosalind Carter to my son, Franklin Delano Brown.
00:49Now, I'm going to put him on this desk,
00:52and if Bob R. isn't sucking on that shell by 5 o'clock tonight,
00:55somebody better be prepared to kiss their goobers goodbye.
01:01Murphy, if I can tear you away from this major investigation.
01:04Sure, Mitchell.
01:05What's up?
01:06You called him Mitchell?
01:07Oh, yeah.
01:07What else am I going to call him?
01:08Mitch?
01:11Morning, guys.
01:12Hi, Mitchell.
01:13Mitchell?
01:14Morning, Mitchell.
01:18Frank, you should hear this, too.
01:20As you may know, I'm overseeing the network's new overnight news show,
01:25and we are very excited about this.
01:27We want to get the public excited as well.
01:28That's why I want your help.
01:30Look, Miles, I can use your input here.
01:33Really?
01:34My input?
01:35Of course.
01:37Now, here's the concept.
01:39Starting at 2 a.m., we're going to have three hours of in-depth features,
01:42weather, sports, and the viewer call-in segment.
01:44Now, the challenge is, how do we get our show to stand out from the competition?
01:48It seems that...
01:48Got it.
01:50We push the fact that the show originates in Washington.
01:54News from the news capital.
01:56It's an interesting thought, Miles, but I don't think so.
02:00Anyway.
02:01Okay, okay.
02:02How about we go casual?
02:03Really hit that late-night feeling?
02:05Loose tie?
02:06Rolled up sleeves?
02:07Intriguing, but no.
02:11What I've been considering is using star power to kick off the first week.
02:14A different team of well-known anchors each night.
02:16Well, Mitchell, that's one way of going, but...
02:18Actually, that is the way we're going.
02:25But I like the fact that you kept swinging.
02:28Remember, it only takes one hit every three at-bats to make it to the Hall of Fame.
02:31That's right, Miles, and as of now, you're 0 for 2.
02:34And there's talk of trading you to the Cubs for a producer to be named later.
02:37So, why don't you just move things along here?
02:40Absolutely.
02:40We've lined up some of our best people, but for our first show, I want our A-team.
02:45Murphy Brown, Frank Fontana.
02:48Us?
02:49Me?
02:49You want me to be an anchor?
02:51That's very flattering, Mitchell, but I'm still playing catch-up for my maternity leave,
02:55so I'm going to have to pass.
02:56Who wants me to be an anchor?
02:58And there's nothing I can do to change your mind.
03:02Change my mind?
03:03You know, that's a concept I never really grasped.
03:07Now, if you'll excuse me, Laura and I have work to do.
03:15Well, this is a disappointment.
03:17Yeah, it won't be the same without her.
03:18Do I get my own desk?
03:22Actually, Frank, I'm afraid the concept was 14.
03:25Oh, well, that's okay.
03:26I can work with anyone.
03:28Well, all right.
03:29Not anyone.
03:30I draw the line at Gene Shalett.
03:31I hear he clips his nails during commercial breaks.
03:34Katie Carr told me she almost lost an eye.
03:40Well, I'm sorry, Frank.
03:42Looks like I have to do a major rethink.
03:43Miles, I'm going to need your input on this for me.
03:45Oh, God.
03:46Excuse me?
03:48Oh, good.
03:49I said, oh, good.
03:51Really, it sounded like, oh, God.
03:53It was.
03:54Oh, God is good.
03:57It's part of an old Hebrew prayer.
04:01Oh, God is good.
04:04God is great.
04:06Thanks for this food that's on my plate.
04:14Hey, Murph.
04:15Can you believe Baldwin trying to make us his opening night shills?
04:21I'm not doing it, Frank.
04:22Oh, come on, Murph.
04:23I need this.
04:24It's important to me.
04:25It's my chance to show the network.
04:27I have what it takes to carry a whole show.
04:29Besides, you and me together.
04:31It'll be fun.
04:32You want fun?
04:33Send Dan Quayle to where's Waldo book,
04:35then stand back and watch his head explode.
04:37No, Murph.
04:44Murph, it's just one night.
04:46Is that so much to ask after 16 incredibly close years of friendship?
04:52You know, you and I are almost the same size.
04:55If you ever need a lung or a kidney,
04:57I'm willing to sign something for you right now.
04:59Boy, a little more snow in here.
05:01We could go tobogganing.
05:02All right, all right.
05:05I understand.
05:06I don't want to ask you to do something you're just not up to anymore.
05:11What's that supposed to mean?
05:12Oh, it's okay, Murph.
05:13Really, motherhood can take a lot out of a person.
05:16So you've lost a step or two that is nothing for you to be ashamed of.
05:21Don't do this to me, Frank.
05:22And I want you to know that I don't think any less of you.
05:25Just because the old Murph would have done it doesn't mean...
05:28I hate you, Frank.
05:28So you'll do it?
05:29Yes.
05:30Yes.
05:30But you owe me.
05:31You owe me big.
05:33Yeah, sure.
05:34Anything you want.
05:35Listen, I've got to get to Bolgan before we find somebody else.
05:38I mean it, Frank.
05:39And I'm not waiting until I get sick.
05:41I want that kidney in my fridge tonight.
05:48So, I think we should start off with the report from Sarajevo.
05:52Then we go straight to the Economic Summit report.
05:54What do you think?
05:55Frank, it's 1.57 in the morning.
05:57At this hour, I don't think.
05:58I either sleep or change diapers.
06:00So, unless you've had a little accident, I don't want to hear about it.
06:04Murph, I want you to show a little energy here.
06:06We're anchoring the premiere of a new show.
06:09This is exciting.
06:10Whoo.
06:11Oh.
06:12Uh, excuse me, guys.
06:14Guys, I, uh, I, I just want to say how proud we are to be part of a team.
06:19I know you all feel the same way.
06:22So, let's get out there tonight and have a killer show.
06:25Yeah.
06:25Get off my cable.
06:28Sorry.
06:29Uh, anyway, great sub-night, guys.
06:37Oh, God.
06:39They hit me already.
06:41Okay, people.
06:43Three minutes to air.
06:45Buzz Ramsey, the director.
06:48Frank Fontana, the anchor.
06:49This is, uh, pretty exciting, isn't it?
06:52For the kickoff episode of what could become television history.
06:56I'm here.
06:57I'm awake.
06:58Don't push it.
06:59And don't talk to me about television history.
07:03I used to be at the top of this business.
07:06Chet Huntley's golden boy, they called me.
07:09Remember goodnight, David?
07:10Goodnight, Chet.
07:11That was mine.
07:13Now, look at me.
07:14I'm on opposite Talmud talk with Rabbi Dave on public access.
07:19But, hey, you know, this could be the start of something really big for you.
07:22Look at my line.
07:24You're a very chipper young man.
07:26Give it a rest.
07:29All right.
07:30Let's get this thing over with.
07:32We got three hours to kill.
07:35Uh, breaking stories at the top of the hour, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda.
07:41Features, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda.
07:43You take some phone calls, and who's doing the weather report?
07:48You?
07:48Oh, yeah, right.
07:50And then I'm going to demonstrate how to make wreaths out of common garden succulents.
07:55No, no problem.
07:56I'll do the weather.
07:58Well, I'm gratified.
08:01Sports updates once an hour.
08:03I can do that.
08:04A local station breaks every 15 minutes.
08:07I'll introduce them.
08:09Aren't you the busy beeper?
08:10If that's all settled, I'd just like to double-check something on the Freedom of Speech piece right there.
08:18I have two different tapes.
08:19The longer one runs in the first hour.
08:21Will you remember that?
08:22Gee, after 40 years in this business, I hope I don't get mixed up.
08:26I'm going to walk to the booth now.
08:30Okay?
08:32Left foot.
08:33Right foot.
08:34Left foot.
08:36How am I doing?
08:40Cue music in 5, 4, 3, 2.
08:45Good morning.
08:46I'm Murphy Brown.
08:47And I'm Frank Fontana.
08:48Welcome to the first edition of Overnight News.
08:51And so the question remains.
08:53At what point does the right to free expression collide with one's obligation to be socially responsible?
08:59Frank?
09:00Thanks, Murphy.
09:02And in our next hour, we'll be taking your calls to discuss the issue of free speech,
09:06as well as recapping the top stories.
09:09Stay with us.
09:10We're clear.
09:14This is really going well.
09:15Don't you think, Murphy?
09:16I'm telling you, it's like a whole new world for me.
09:18Being out in front, running things.
09:19I love it.
09:20I really, really love it.
09:22Geez.
09:22Frank, pace yourself.
09:23We've got two hours to go, and you're pumping enough adrenaline to give a gazelle cardiac arrest.
09:29Come back in 5, 4, 3.
09:34Uncle Mac, we're about to take the all-
09:36Freedom of Speech.
09:38How far is too far?
09:41And our first call is from Dayton, Ohio.
09:45You're on the air.
09:46Yes.
09:47I believe that free speech is being hurt by an unfair judicial system.
09:52I myself get called for jury duty at least once every six months.
09:57And then they never pick me.
09:59And on top of which, the parking is just terrible.
10:03The compensation...
10:04Oh, excuse me.
10:05Well, that's very thought-provoking.
10:07Tonight, we're discussing freedom of speech.
10:09Oh, I know.
10:10I'm using my freedom of speech to talk about jury duty.
10:14And you just did.
10:17I'm going out to Lowell, Massachusetts.
10:20You're on the air.
10:21Yeah.
10:22I'd like to comment on the proposed seven-day waiting period to buy a handgun.
10:28What's the point?
10:30After seven days, I'm not mad anymore.
10:36Look, maybe I didn't make myself clear.
10:39The topic tonight is freedom of speech.
10:41Not jury duty.
10:42Not gun control.
10:44Freedom of speech.
10:46I don't want to have to say this again.
10:50Uh, I don't mean to push you, sir, but would you mind getting to your question?
10:56Uh, yes, of course.
10:57I'm sorry.
10:58Uh, anyway, what would happen if you were on a plane that was about to crash?
11:04And just before it hit the ground, you jumped up as hard as you could.
11:11Well, Roy from Pittsburgh, your head would probably rip through the roof with such force
11:16that whatever brain cells you may have had would be picked up with a stray luggage.
11:22I see it's time for both our next commercial and your medication.
11:27You'll be back after this.
11:31Murph, what are you doing?
11:32You can't talk like that on the air.
11:34Why not?
11:34Face it, Frank, it's 3 a.m.
11:36The only people watching us are just killing time till the next commercial where that guy
11:39cuts his kid's hair with a vacuum cleaner.
11:43Okay, okay, so we've had a few crackpots, but it's not like all the calls were that weird.
11:49Frank, do you really think we had a conversation with the Queen of England?
11:53Well, you've got to admit, his accent was pretty convincing.
11:58Oh, man, listen to me.
12:00You were right, Murph.
12:01This is a nightmare.
12:04A big chance to be an anchor.
12:06What the hell was I thinking?
12:08I'm sorry I dragged you into this.
12:10Oh, Frank, it's not that bad.
12:13After all, it's not every day we get to talk to a man who claims to have the only Baskin-Robbins
12:17franchise on the lost continent of Atlantis.
12:20Oh, come on, Murph, really cut it out.
12:23Don't get me started.
12:24I'm punchy enough already.
12:25Coming back with weather in 15 seconds.
12:28All right, all right.
12:29Let's just get through the rest of the show.
12:30We're going to try to escape with as much dignity as we can.
12:33Oh, wow.
12:40Look how big I am.
12:45Cuny earthlings.
12:48You're going to bow to me.
12:50I am Fontana.
12:54Wait.
12:55I got a weather bulletin for you.
12:58Hail.
12:58Hey.
13:01In 5, 4, 3.
13:04Stop it.
13:05Welcome back.
13:08And thank you for staying up with us on the overnight news.
13:13I'm Frank Fontana.
13:15It is 3.28 a.m.
13:16And if you're just joining us, well, what the heck are you doing up at this hour?
13:20Anyways, let's have another look at the weather.
13:23The Midwest is still, there it is, feeling the effects of a record cold front.
13:30Well, Fergus Falls, Minnesota, had a record low of 5 degrees.
13:37And I'll tell you, I bet in that kind of cold, when Fergus falls, he has a hard time getting up.
13:44Anyway.
13:45Yes, I woke up the crew.
13:49Anyway, let's get back to the weather here.
13:52Um, Murphy, could you step over here and help me out with something?
13:57What?
13:57Just come on over here.
13:58Just stand here, like this.
14:06Ladies and gentlemen, hands across America.
14:13And you go, Rip Van Winkleette.
14:17Up and at him.
14:18Come on, this is your last call.
14:19Let's go, go, go.
14:23Guess what I'm making for breakfast?
14:25Tweety Bird pancakes.
14:26I'm using peach slices for his little beak and blueberries for his eyes.
14:32Now, I know that the baby can't eat them, but they're visually stimulating.
14:36Although, you know, now that I think about it, oh, gee, I hope he's not traumatized watching us wolf down America's most beloved cartoon birdie.
14:46Well, then, I worked till five this morning, I've only had 90 minutes sleep, so I know you'll understand when I tell you, I worked till five this morning, I've only had 90 minutes sleep!
14:59Wow.
15:00Have a great day.
15:01Have a great day.
15:02Have a great day.
15:03Wow.
15:04Zero to cranky in 3.2 seconds.
15:05Why are you making breakfast?
15:10don't tell me we lost another nanny she called this morning from las vegas apparently she's
15:18found employment in something called nudes on ice and speaking as someone who once accidentally
15:24walked into the kitchen while she was rehearsing i predict a very quiet box office
15:30we dine in 10 minutes and put on a robe
15:38hi frank we're having canaries for breakfast interested
15:46i just watched the table last night show and i think we might have gone a little bit too far
15:53i can't believe we actually called the white house at four in the morning and told him we
15:57were the clinton's decorators and could we come over and take some measurements
16:00hey i wasn't the one using the cheesy italian accent mr fabrizio of georgetown
16:16man this was my one chance to show the network i had what it takes to be an anchor baldwin gave me
16:24a shot and i made a fool of myself oh come on frank you don't have anything to prove to the network
16:30they know you're an important part of fyi oh yeah yeah part of the team
16:34no it's just like in high school when i went out for track
16:38i wanted to be a sprinter in a hundred yard dash everybody always watched the sprinters
16:43but coach jaworski put me in the two mile relay i was the second man in a four man race
16:49i didn't start i didn't finish i handed the baton to the guy who handed the baton to the guy who
16:55finished while i was running most people went off to the snack bar i always thought just once i would
17:03like to be the guy in front the one that everybody watches you probably think this is really silly
17:12don't you i don't think it's silly frank i think it's pathetic
17:18you have an exciting job you love you won a humboldt award you earned a ton of money
17:25but you can't get past being the human tortoise 25 years ago
17:29fine let's just uh let's drop the whole thing no no no no no no i just want to understand this so
17:35because you weren't a sprinter you want to be an anchor now you want to stop doing the brilliant
17:40field reporting you love and spend the rest of your career stuck behind a desk saying things like
17:45thanks for that report bob is that what you're saying no that's what you're saying what i'm saying
17:50is oh look never mind it doesn't matter after what happened last night they're never going to give me
17:54another chance to anchor anyway oh stop wallowing frank it wasn't that bad oh yeah well um maybe you
18:01didn't notice but uh at about a quarter to five when you were doing your report on the prime minister
18:06of australia i hopped across the set holding your purse in front of me like a pouch
18:12yeah right really
18:18good morning sleepyheads how'd the show go last night you mean you didn't watch
18:29heavens no i can't stay up that way you think i'm gonna come to work with my face all puffy and bags
18:35under my eyes look like some of the cat dragged me on sorry my phone
18:42well i tried to tape it but doris gave me one of those automatic vcr programmers for our anniversary
18:47and i i must have pushed the wrong button because i ended up with some show about impotence hosted by
18:53lyle wagoner
18:58see frank i told you nobody watched it uh let me hear tape frank i'll view it tonight what oh i'm i'm
19:05sorry jim i didn't get a chance to take it oh sure frank if he doesn't want us to see it it probably
19:12means something really bad happened tim go get a copy of the overnight news from video everyone screening in
19:19my office in my office in ten minutes i'm doomed let's see that's an interesting concept miles but no
19:35hi mitchell murphy frank i thought she'd be catching up on your sleep after last night well
19:40you know i've seen the job i guess you didn't see the show last night oh i saw it all three hours
19:48from beginning to end start to finish did you see it miles well as a matter of fact i did catch the
19:56first hour good what'd you think i'd like your input my input well i could try to guess what you want to
20:07hear that way at least i'd have a 50 50 chance of being right but i'm not gonna do that i'm gonna tell
20:16you what i actually thought no matter what i thought it was good i agree you do the first
20:25hour was very good i just wish you'd seen the rest of it well i didn't which means i couldn't possibly
20:30have an opinion on it which means i'm walking away a winner he's a good man behind strong like a dog
20:42that's been beaten by a previous owner now about those last two hours uh mitchell what happened on
20:52the air last night was mostly my fault it was late i got crunchy so if there are any repercussions
20:58i should be the one to deal with them no wait murph i can't let you take all the blame
21:04i probably should have tried harder to stop her
21:16as i was saying the first hour was very good and the rest of it got a terrific audience response
21:24your kid what we made a mistake we went in with the show that i was too serious for that time slot
21:30you showed us that people want a little irreverence and unpredictability at that time of
21:34night so you liked it me no i've never been a big fan of kangaroo invitations right
21:45but you can't argue with ratings so we're gonna revamp the format of the show and try to incorporate
21:50more of that unstructured freewheeling spirit that's used so deftly brought to the screen oh great just
21:55what this country needs more wacky news you're interrupting murk you're talking about my
22:00freewheeling spirit well simply put you have exactly the quality we wanted in the anchor for
22:06the new overnight news oh wow did you hear that murk exactly the quality
22:14all my life i i've waited to hear something like that and i always thought i knew exactly how i'd respond
22:25but uh now
22:32i love my work
22:36and i'm proud of it and i don't think i'd ever really be happy doing anything else
22:42i guess the important thing was having it offered to me but i'm afraid i'm gonna have to say no
22:47well well that's a courageous decision frank and you can't imagine how disappointed i would be if i
22:53were actually offering you the job
23:06what
23:06i wasn't offering you the job frank you weren't offering me the job you already have a job on fyi
23:18i just have to find a frank fontana type someone a little cheaper probably a little younger
23:24well
23:27how about that murk i just turned down a job i wasn't even offered the final kick me sign on the butt that
23:37is my life
23:40point is you turned it down the old frank would have jumped at that job you turned it down because
23:47you're happy with who you are that's a real sign of growth frank you know you're right
23:55maybe i've got more self-esteem than i thought maybe i don't need constant validation to feel good
24:03about myself anymore maybe i am finally at the point in my life where i don't care what other people
24:09think everybody i've got the tape oh my god
24:24we're live with the bindlebeeps catherine what makes this season of fatherhood new well i won the kitty
24:30then i said a bunny kitty then i went for a walk the purpose one stop take fatherhood the new season
24:36team starting this tuesday night at 9 30 only on nick at night