Murphy Brown Season 6 Episode 16 The Deal Of The Art
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00:00with his acclaimed Frigidaire still life, an open refrigerator filled with pictures of food
00:05cut from magazines. In this piece, I'm trying to communicate a sense of longing. It's a longing
00:13I think we all feel for actual experience, pure feeling. What I'm seeing is a pile of artificial
00:22sweetener packets. That's right. But at the center of the pile, there's a lone sugar cube.
00:30And that means? That within the falseness, there is truth. Which is why I call the piece
00:37sugar cube and not the pile of sweetener. It's a sugar. Uh-huh. And if I were to buy a sugar cube,
00:49how much would that send me back? This piece sells for $120,000.
00:53Really? That seems a little steep, considering I could go to the supermarket and buy my own
01:01pile of artificial sweeteners for considerably less. Especially on Thursdays, which is double
01:06coupon day. What makes him so valuable? Well, mine comes with a certificate of authenticity.
01:14And I've also signed the floor underneath the pile. So the floor comes with a piece?
01:19No, that would be ludicrous. Plus, I will go to the home of whoever buys it, and I'll sign
01:26their floor. Unless, I mean, they live out of town, or have carpeting, or something like that.
01:37Remarkably, Ben Olen had no trouble finding a buyer for his pile of artificial sweetener.
01:42Last week at auction in New York, it's sold for $10,000 above its asking price. Is it art? Who's to say?
01:50But, it certainly perks up a cup of tea.
01:54Thank you, Murphy. I suppose one might say that sweetener left a sour taste in your mouth.
02:02This has been another edition of FYI. Good night.
02:05And we're clear.
02:07Well done, sir.
02:09You know, perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but give me a nice Norman Rockwell any day.
02:13Boy's first haircut, now that's art.
02:17The way the little type cringes as the kindly barber approaches.
02:22It's real, it's human, and it never fails to give you a good chuckle.
02:26Well, you may be right, Jim, but I see any one of them get $130,000 from a pile of white powder that isn't illegal has some real talent.
02:34I just can't believe how much people will pay for pictures of food.
02:41My mother used to make macaroni mousets for the church bazaar and never got more than $6.
02:45She was just ahead of her time, Corky. Give her a loft in Soho, a box of Ranzoni, and the right critics behind her, she could be on the cover of Newsweek.
02:53Oh, come on, Murphy. It's not all hype. Some contemporary art really speaks to people.
02:58And some of it speaks to me. But come on, Jeff Koons basketballs floating in plexiglass, Julian Schnabel's broken dishes covered with paint.
03:07What does that say?
03:08Well, you know, the basketball floats there, sort of trapped, disconnected, like a lot of us feel.
03:17The dishes are shattered like most of our nerves from living in this society.
03:24So if we carry this theory forward, I'm guessing a bottle of Maalox balanced on a stack of soda crackers would be like the Mona Lisa to you.
03:32Fine. Laugh at my sensitivity. It just so happens I grew up in a family with a deep connection to art.
03:38Miles, your grandfather had a booth at Coney Island where he did silhouette portraits.
03:42You see Picasso try to work with a hundred people screaming, woo, every five minutes over his head.
03:48Take it easy, Miles. Just because Murphy doesn't like a certain kind of art doesn't mean it doesn't have value. I mean, she's not exactly an expert.
03:56Oh, and you are a man who went to an art auction last year, did one of these, threw a woman across the room and wound up buying a six-foot milking stool for $8,000?
04:06Hey, I love that stool. Of course you do, Frank. And I'm sure it's extremely useful when you milk your giant blue ox babe.
04:13Hey, listen, now, would you just wait till I've doubled your hands?
04:17Oh, potty.
04:20Six hundred and fifty-seven.
04:23Six hundred and fifty-eight.
04:31Can I begin with any calls for me?
04:32Yeah, four.
04:34Oh, Frank.
04:37One.
04:42What do you got here?
04:44Huh?
04:45Mr. President from the Soho Arts Council.
04:48Having seen your report, we can only assume this is more to your taste.
05:00Oh.
05:01Now, this is insulting. They didn't even spring for real velvet.
05:06Oh, man. This is the kind where the eyes follow you. I hate that.
05:09Put it away. Put it away.
05:11Okay.
05:16Judging from the sideburns, I'm guessing this is circa 1964, which would put it right about here.
05:27Now, all I need is that rare double wedding portrait with Priscilla, and I've got the complete set.
05:32Amazing.
05:33I just had the smell of marinara sauce coming from the kitchen. This could be my Aunt Maria's living room.
05:39You know, Frank, I knew I'd ruffle a few feathers, but I never expected this.
05:44Seventeen.
05:45Seventeen.
05:48And the best part is that for every velvet painting I've gotten from a ticked-off critic or art dealer, a dozen letters come in from people who agree with me.
05:56It's true. My parents thought your report was wonderful, and they haven't agreed with you since...
06:01Well, actually, they've never agreed with you.
06:03I've been getting support from all over the country on this one.
06:06I think people have been waiting for someone to blow the whistle on this so-called art and the business that feeds on it.
06:12It's a house of cards, and perhaps your piece will help bring it down.
06:15Oh, come on, Jim. I don't think one little report from Murphy is gonna cause a panic in the art world.
06:20Ooh, sounds like someone's a little worried about a $6,000 milking stool.
06:24Could I take six? Anyone?
06:29Well, you don't mean that when you're down to 30 bucks. I could use a real tall stool in case the brawny towel man ever comes to visit.
06:39Good morning, people.
06:40Good morning, Miles.
06:41Hey, look, Miles. Art.
06:43I'm thinking of calling us the emptiness at the center of our being.
06:50How about this title?
06:52No way!
06:56Adorable.
06:57But you might not want to try it when you appear as a guest on the Ked Webster Show.
07:00PBS frowns on that sort of thing.
07:02Ked Webster Show wants to get out of it.
07:06That's right.
07:07They want you to square off with a panel of concerned members from the art community who thought your piece was, quote,
07:13uneducated, uninformed, and unwatchable.
07:16These people just aren't all in their beating, do they?
07:18Oh, boy.
07:20Are we all tired of hearing about what's art and what's not and whether things that cost a lot of money were really worth what some people paid for them?
07:31Don't do it, Murph, please.
07:32Don't, she has to.
07:34She's got them on the run now, these champions of squiggles and blotches and spots.
07:38That's not art, it's dermatology.
07:41Feel free to use that if you like.
07:43Thanks, Tim, I would if I were doing the show, but when your opponent's already unconscious on the mat, there's no need to slam his head into the ring post.
07:50Oh, I see. You're willing to take on the art community as long as you have the final edit.
07:57But when it comes to a live debate, suddenly you're too busy.
08:00Miles, maybe we should just let this thing die.
08:02What do you think? That I'm afraid?
08:03He's not saying that.
08:04I just think it's interesting when someone holds herself up as a judge of what's art, makes fun of those of us who disagree, and then runs away when a few experts want to get involved.
08:13I am not running away, Miles.
08:15Then you'll do it?
08:16Oh, she can. She sounds very good.
08:20These charlatans wouldn't know a masterpiece if Whistler's mother came up and kicked him in the knee.
08:25That's another good one. I'm going to write these down.
08:29Miles, you tell the folks at PBS I'll do it. I'll wipe the floor with those art snobs.
08:34And if I see any of those yapping Barney kids around, I'll wipe the floor with them, too.
08:41Fine.
08:43Oh, man.
08:45By the time she's through, I'm going to be the proud owner of an $8,000 piece of kindling.
08:50I'll take $4,000.
08:53Good evening. I'm Ken Webster.
08:55Is contemporary art nothing but an elaborate con game?
08:59Murphy Brown implied as much in a recent FYI report.
09:04Tonight, she joins us, along with Yvonne Bentley, art critic for Intelligentsia Magazine.
09:09Professor Albert Willendorf, art historian and author of the book, Marginalism and Text, The Unholy Alliance.
09:16And Ted Pierce, owner of Sizzle, New York's hottest contemporary art gallery.
09:21Thank you and welcome all. Murphy, that piece has certainly generated a strong response from the art world.
09:29It certainly has, Ken. I haven't upset this many trendsetters since the dark days of disco when I suggested the Bee Gees be deported.
09:37It's interesting that you chose to start off with a joke or what I can only assume you intended as a joke.
09:46It's hard to tell since you were the only one laughing.
09:49But let's say for the sake of argument that it was a joke.
09:53Your entire piece was permeated with the same self-congratulatory tone.
09:57You reduced all of contemporary art to the butt of a personal joke and I must say I was offended.
10:03It was like a joke to her. And I found that offensive.
10:07Excuse me.
10:08But I hardly think I attacked all contemporary art.
10:12I simply picked out a few pieces that are currently being touted as brilliant,
10:16showed them to my audience, and let them decide for themselves.
10:20Now really, Miss Brown, aren't you being a trifle jejeune?
10:24You failed to put this art into any meaningful context whatsoever.
10:29These artists are wrestling with profound issues.
10:32They struggle, they suffer, they agonize.
10:35With all due respect, Professor, so does someone passing a kidney stone.
10:39But you don't see them taking the end result, hanging it on the wall, and calling it art.
10:44Charles Brasso does.
10:47And it's exquisite.
10:50You don't get it, you just don't get it.
10:52It's almost as if you're not getting it.
10:56There's nothing to get.
10:57If I could just jump in for a moment here.
11:00Murphy, I think what I'm hearing is a concern that your story might have been a little, um,
11:04one-sided.
11:06Exactly.
11:07Look, I'm afraid I don't agree, but as a journalist, I try to stay open-minded.
11:12So, if someone can explain to me why a pile of sweeteners is art.
11:16Artificial sweetener, artificial, not real.
11:20There's a world of difference.
11:21They aren't simply artificial sweeteners.
11:24They're an eloquent expression of genuine ontological experience buried beneath the effluvium of modern life.
11:30There's experience, and there's effluvium.
11:36Need I say more?
11:38Yeah.
11:39What the hell does that mean?
11:41What Matt Olin is doing is subverting the status quo by co-opting the intrinsically mundane, thereby elevating it to the level of cultural icon.
11:53Nope.
11:54Still out there on the open sea, looking for those of the harder lights.
12:00Any of you guys in the crew want to take a shot?
12:03Oh, really now, whether some simple craps people have the sophistication to follow what was a perfectly clear and succinct explanation is not germane to the issue.
12:12What is germane is that, once again, you have made life of a very serious discussion.
12:20I don't think she's taking the discussion seriously.
12:23Excellent point.
12:24Now, would you mind humoring me by saying it again while Yvonne drinks a glass of water?
12:31What's that supposed to mean?
12:32I think we're getting a little off track here.
12:34No, we're not.
12:35My point is that a small group of people using puffed up credentials on the cloud of art speak have the power to decide which artist is this year's hot commodity.
12:44The critics do it for ego and the gallery owners for profit.
12:48That's ridiculous.
12:49I'm insulted.
12:50Six weeks ago, Ted's gallery exhibited the work of Jamie Elkins, an artist championed by Ms. Bentley and Professor Willendorf.
12:57Can you put that slide up, Ken?
12:58Now, the name of this piece is Commodity.
13:06A masterstroke of insouciance and kitsch.
13:09I was just proud to have it in my gallery.
13:12Oh, it's a toilet, for God's sake, and it doesn't even work.
13:15If it worked, it would have no meaning at all.
13:17If it worked, the poor schmuck who bought it could charge his guest 25 cents to use it.
13:22Because then you could recoup a little of the 60 grand it cost him.
13:25I can't talk to you anymore, you don't get it, you just don't get it.
13:28I admit I was angry before, but now all I feel for you is pity.
13:31I don't know where you were educated, but I think you should ask for your money back.
13:36You are this close to the edge, Teddy boy.
13:39Did she threaten you?
13:40Did you hear that? She threatened me.
13:41Can you imagine her in Paris, faced with Goons' giant terpiary puppy?
13:44She'd be lost.
13:45Up the Seine without a paddle.
13:47It's probably uncultured or advanced by anyone.
13:49Oh, that would be priceless.
13:50Hello, I'm still in the room.
13:52I saw it. As a matter of fact, I interviewed you.
13:56Is that so?
13:57Well, I guess you don't need me anymore.
13:59So if I could just have my complimentary tote bag or Civil War beach towel, I'll be on my way.
14:05One second. One second.
14:07I thought there was some really exciting work there, with the exception.
14:10There's one guy with these six-foot milking stools.
14:17He was the joke of the festival.
14:20Six-foot?
14:23And that condescending attitude, it was unbelievable.
14:27You don't get it.
14:28You just don't get it.
14:30I'll bet old Yvonne hasn't gotten it in quite a while.
14:33You try to tell them something that would be obvious to a three-year-old, and they look at you like you're speaking Swahili.
14:40I mean, how do you deal with people like that?
14:42Well, I just usually wait until your car drives away, and I shove my face into a bowl of ice water.
14:50The shock calms me down.
14:52Oh, come on, Melvin. There's no comparison between me and those people.
14:56They're arrogant, self-centered, and totally wrong.
15:00I see, and you are...
15:02Arrogant, self-centered, and totally right.
15:06You know, this whole incident reminds me of this one critic who, in discussing contemporary art, said,
15:12If I dipped my cat in pain and threw him against a canvas, I could do better work than this.
15:19Finally, a critic who agrees with me, how do I get in touch with this guy?
15:22Well, you would need a shovel and a map of the entire Paris graveyard system, because he died in 1896,
15:2920 years after he said that stuff about Claude Monet.
15:33Oh, how clever. So what am I supposed to say now?
15:37Gee, this stuff is great. I was wrong. I'm just too close-minded to see it.
15:42No, all I'm saying is that in, like, a hundred years, people may be standing in front of it, weeping.
15:48Yeah, people who can't believe their grandfather blew their inheritance on a pile of saccharin instead of investing in QVC.
15:55Come on, Eldon, you're an artist. You tell me. Do you think I'm wrong?
15:59Well, it doesn't matter what I think. I mean, art is subjective. Everyone has to make up their own mind.
16:04Well, that's just it. Too many people don't. They're brainwashed into liking what a so-called group of experts tells them to like.
16:11I mean, with enough hype in the right frame, this painting of Avery's could be the next big thing.
16:19Hey, you know, I'm a big fan of the little guy's work, but let's not get carried away here.
16:25Yeah, I just wish there was some way to show these people up.
16:28Yeah, well, if you figure something out, let me know.
16:32Tell them you got any extra frames hanging around?
16:39Oh, no.
16:44No, no, this, this is never gonna work. People are gonna know.
16:47You only think they're gonna know because you know. I mean, look at the competition.
16:51The only difference I see is that my kid's painting has a nicer frame.
16:55This is gonna be beautiful.
16:58You know, this is the first time I've really observed you at work.
17:02You're kind of scary.
17:04Okay, Rick, set up over there. Murphy, the critics are here.
17:09Now, remember, the deal is this piece goes on the air no matter who is proven right.
17:13Yeah, yeah, yeah. I care to make a small side wager.
17:16I'm picturing something involving you, a pair of Calvin Klein mini briefs, and the fountain in the lobby of FYI.
17:22You are gonna go down, sister. And when you do, this is what you're gonna hear.
17:31You think I'm going down? Okay, you tell me which one of these pieces of art is Avery's.
17:39You think I can't? Watch.
17:44It's, um, tick-tock. Tick-tock.
17:49It's this one. It's this one, schnobble boy.
17:53I think you've been working together a little too long.
18:00A-veret?
18:02No, no, no. A-veret.
18:06From Martinique. He's French.
18:09That was my idea.
18:10It's brilliant, isn't it?
18:11Wait, wait, there's more.
18:13This self-taught artist has had no formal schooling,
18:17preferring to work by pure instinct and only with non-toxic materials.
18:23He likes to taste his paint.
18:33Oh, stand back, boys. It's time for a real artist to get to work.
18:39Ms. Bentley.
18:40Professor Willendorf.
18:41I'm so glad you could come.
18:43I'm so sorry that Ted couldn't join us.
18:45Yes, well, after that confrontation with you last week,
18:48he developed a severe rash on his buttocks.
18:51His therapist suggested he might not be ready for another meeting.
18:55Oh, well, that's too bad.
18:57Um, now, as I said on the phone, I was thinking about the points that you raised at the Ken Webster show,
19:04and perhaps I was close-minded.
19:06So, tonight, I would like you to walk me through this exhibit,
19:10and with the help of your expertise, I can show my audience what this art is really all about.
19:16Well, we'll do our best.
19:18Wonderful.
19:19Um, Rick, let's go.
19:21Uh, why don't we begin with this piece?
19:24Now, all my untrained eye sees is a shower curtain hanging from a wall, but what do you see?
19:31I see an artist struggling to resolve the tension between inhibition and exhibition, curiosity and voyeurism.
19:41Uh, lawyerism.
19:44Public space versus private space.
19:47Uh-huh.
19:48So, so is the artist telling us we should shower in public?
19:53It's much more ambiguous than that.
19:56He's saying that we should think about showering in public.
20:01Exactly.
20:02We should consider the calibrations of shame.
20:07Calibrations?
20:08I never thought of that.
20:11Um, why don't we look at this piece over here?
20:16Now, here we have what looks like Da Vinci's Last Supper, except the faces of all the apostles have been painted out,
20:24and it appears that they're eating Chinese take-out.
20:27Trans-Gormers, with 12 you get egg rolls.
20:34I'll draw this piece.
20:35It's divine.
20:36Uh-huh.
20:37If you'll pardon the pun.
20:39What Burma is saying so deftly is that every supper is the last supper, that we are all apostles.
20:46Ich bin ein Apostle.
20:50Fascinating.
20:51And you can almost smell the wontine.
20:54Moving on.
20:57Now, this painting.
21:00I-I look at it, and I can't help but think my 18-month-old son could have done it.
21:06I'm not surprised you say that.
21:08It's probably the comment most used to discredit contemporary art.
21:12Really?
21:13Yes.
21:14However, in this case, I must say I agree with you.
21:16What?
21:17It's like the composition uninteresting, the palette dull.
21:21Are you sure?
21:22Uh-huh.
21:23You know, I-I look at it, and I think I'm starting to see something.
21:27A-a kind of chaos.
21:29An-an inarticulate, almost pre-verbal struggle to communicate.
21:34I mean, talk about your calibration.
21:36No.
21:37No.
21:38You're completely wrong.
21:39It's amateurish.
21:40Ava Ray from Martinique.
21:42I'm not familiar with his work, but he has no business being in a gallery of this statue.
21:47Ah-ah.
21:48Ah-ah.
21:49Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
21:50Ah.
21:51Ah.
21:52Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
21:53Well, Professor, I must confess, you've caught me by surprise, you see.
21:56Well, he hasn't caught me by surprise.
21:58He's never been a fellow at the Caribbean school.
22:01And once again, I think he is being a little hasty.
22:06You like it?
22:07I most certainly do.
22:09Monsieur Veray has the most playful and charming touch.
22:12Charming?
22:13Yvonne, you can't be serious.
22:16This work belongs on a refrigerator.
22:20You know, Albert, this reminds me of the problem you had earlier on with Schnabel.
22:23You didn't understand his use of color, either.
22:25I don't know what you're talking about. I've always been moved by Schnabel's use of color.
22:29Oh, please, just because you're an art historian doesn't mean you can rewrite history.
22:33You laughed at Schnabel. You laughed at me for liking him.
22:36Then when you saw the wagon train moving on without you, scrambled on board,
22:40and suddenly it was Schnabel ho.
22:42If anyone's a Schnabel ho, it's you.
22:46Thank you both for this fascinating discussion,
22:49but I feel it's time I told you this painting is sold?
22:54That's right.
22:55To who?
22:56That man over there.
23:01Uh, excuse me, sir.
23:04Would you mind telling me why you just bought that painting?
23:07Oh, well, certainly.
23:09Two of the country's foremost authorities on art are arguing over it,
23:13and you're here filming it.
23:15Obviously, very important work.
23:17Uh-huh.
23:17But, um, what about the actual painting do you respond to?
23:21I don't know. I haven't really seen it yet.
23:24And, uh, how much did you pay for it?
23:27$2,200.
23:28I feel like I stole it.
23:29Sir, I feel I should tell you that this painting is the work of a child.
23:38This critic's been right about you.
23:40You just don't get it, do you?
23:44Oh, I think I get a little more than you know.
23:47About $2,200 more.
23:49Rick, I think we got enough.
23:56I just want to remind you, you didn't fool both of them,
24:00and you can't keep that money.
24:01The hell I can't.
24:02Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to find an art store that's still open.
24:05Ava Ray needs some more paints.
24:07Come on, L, then we're going.
24:08Yeah, in a minute.
24:09Uh, no, I've known the artist all his life.
24:12You might say I taught him everything he knows.
24:17You might say I taught him everything he knows.