Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a Michigan man who accidentally shot himself in the buttocks. While researching reconstructive surgery for butts, they get a text from listener who was in a combine accident involving his ass. They try to reach him, but he wasn't willing to share more details.
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00:00police are investigating a michigan man who shot himself in the ass cheeks friday
00:13at legacy sports center
00:16um when they responded to the call the cops say they found the man
00:22had shot himself in the ass cheeks after adjusting his pants i was gonna say he definitely
00:29had a gun in his waistband he must have had it when one of those dudes that keeps it in the back
00:34in the back yeah in the back oh man shooting right through your butt cheeks got both of them
00:39do they do ash cheek reconstruction sure they do i bet yeah i bet they do i bet they're really good
00:45at it because i bet you can really manipulate it because it's just like a fleshy mass yeah i think
00:51it's way easier than one of the easiest you can build my butt and make it look nice i think as
00:57long as you don't hit any of the pipes then you're probably okay yeah the pipes are the problem
01:00yeah internal pipes the plumbing in there yeah it's bad would you spend money okay would you spend money
01:06to get ash cheek reconstruction or would you just not even i would let it fly like if i was in a
01:11devastating ass accident yeah like i guess like i would i want him to build it normal right yeah
01:19i guess how many people in your life are gonna see them i guess you know my whole thing would be
01:23like okay if it just looks like i have an entrance wound and like an exit wound and it's not like a
01:29giant chunk of it gone yeah don't worry about it i would just leave it but it's like you got one
01:34cheek or something yeah yeah one cheek i mean i gotta sit down you know that i don't i keep it's
01:39functional i am used to a level of cushioning that i would like right to keep you don't think a lot
01:48about what you how it'd be without ass cheeks never never thought of it really a life without
01:53ass cheeks well a lot of the life i'm learning you know you get older it's all about perspective
01:58that's right so you're having a bad day but you got both your ass cheeks there's somebody out there
02:04that's like yeah every time i sit out inside but i'm leaning to one side yeah it's horrible i'm sitting
02:10right on a bone yeah life sucks some of those images aren't too great i don't imagine they are
02:16not yeah i think there's something that i think we'll change our minds we'll be like yes ass
02:19construction immediately
02:20oh wow yeah see that's what mine looks like you gotta get it fixed
02:26oh no what is that i don't know that lady's ass looks like one of those slow motion shots of
02:33somebody getting punched in the face i just i know my ass isn't great but i guess it isn't that bad
02:41is it yeah if you search like accident then you'll see like people like buttock accident yeah like
02:47reconstruction accident then you'll see some bold ones yeah i don't know if i want to see i don't know
02:56if i want to see me well okay so that the first one that's on the the left there they did that the
03:02quasimodo of ass they did their best but i mean let's be honest after yeah like one i thought it
03:08was hasn't begun no the second one they did all right putting it back yeah better this one they
03:15gave a whole cheek to yeah that's nice the one right underneath your cursor i don't know what's
03:18going on there oh my god my goodness what if you saw that in yoga pants or something you'd be like
03:23oh my god it's like an old potato i'm not ready for it looks like butt balls it does i mean you're
03:30right oh you don't want two big old butt balls butt nuts hey how are your butt nuts doing chuck
03:37they're not great you're gonna get them taken care of check them out check them out how long have
03:41you had those butt nuts uh ever since the accident i didn't notice them until you wore those tight
03:46track pants i know but i sit on those butt nuts every day that must be uncomfortable man i didn't
03:53even know they look like nuts until lisa said they look like a set of balls back there big balls
03:59big big big they are they're great big balls they're great big butt balls life with butt nuts must not
04:08be good it's not good okay so if i had butt balls yeah yeah i'd like to amend i'd like to amend
04:16my previous statement i would like to get it fixed someone said i got my ass cheeks caught up in a
04:22combine happens more than you think oh my god okay but a combine a combine how are they now man
04:30they're not good dave it was in a combine usually we talk about someone who's like it chopped my legs
04:37right out hurry up hurry there's that 9-1-1 call of the guy who was in the combine yes yes he's like
04:44i'm bleeding out real bad i got no legs i just done it i done did it combine guys you can't be
04:53ass first in a combine rolling up to the scene and a guy's ass is just stuck in the front of the combine
04:58get my ass out can you save it no save my ass man my buttocks we're gonna try our best i love calling
05:08them buttocks but yeah happens more than you think what do you mean seriously man i understand that a
05:15combine gets people more than you think but just their butt i doubt it it's usually real bad oh it's
05:21like it's legs usually it chops things i feel like this ass is like yeah it's kind of winking at you
05:30it's like winking at you a bit yeah we were trying to see if that guy who lost his ass cheeks in a
05:35combine got them reconstructed but we haven't heard back from no yeah i hope we do i don't know if a lot
05:40of farmers get their asses yeah reconstructed i don't know but i don't know but i don't know
05:45emergency room it's a bunch of farmers with bleeding asses yeah combine combine got me too
05:53happens more than you think don't turn your back on a combine i've always said it don't i'll give
06:00him a call if you want hey did you get your butt how's your ass hey it's jason yeah you can't just
06:05drop something like that and then walk away no exactly you gotta know your buddy's ass cheeks
06:09been taken from a combine you need to follow up with that combine got my buddy's ass cheeks gotta
06:14go yeah every farmer knows a guy whose ass has been taken who knew i had no assless sam one of the
06:23first like arms yes fingers you know those kind of things yeah ass that's not what i guess you turn
06:30around the wrong way though yeah you're running from it i guess yeah oh my god i don't know what a
06:34day when you're running from a combine you fell down onto it that's no that's horrible sat that's
06:41like a horror movie the combine got my ass yep yeah my goodness lighthearted horrible yeah well
06:52there just didn't know that was happening no it's all fun and games until your ass is in a combine
06:57yes you're right you're right we're laughing at no fun stops yeah right we think it's funny until
07:03one of us one of our asses in a combine then my shorts would always fall down at oh yeah
07:08no ass to keep him up don't say anything using a combine actually lost his ass cheeks both of them
07:17yeah platys aboard what that's why that lady was like happens all the time so many people's asses is
07:25gone from the combine jason did make contact with the combine ass cheek guy awesome what was the
07:32response he said i don't want to talk about it buddy and that was it wow oh my gosh we're not
07:36in a conversation we can't that's the craziest worst conversation hey bud how you doing it's just me
07:47jason i'm calling in i we know you fell ass first into a combine we're just trying to get some closure
07:54on it how about you let you know it let us know did you get it fixed is it doing good i don't want to
08:00talk about it buddy i don't want to talk about it buddy all right i guess that's it okay sorry you
08:08texted us but obviously it didn't end well you did not have any time for me no i don't want to talk
08:15about it at least there's no way your ass ends well no no if it falls in a combine doesn't want to talk
08:20about it i understand really but then don't text the show if you don't want to talk about it
08:24it's like oh it's something we need to talk about you need to talk about it he almost should have
08:29said i don't want to talk about this but right my ass was chewed off by a combine send he also might
08:36not expect that i'm gonna actually yeah i guess make a phone call yeah i guess send a text in the
08:42call you won't get a call that's why you send a text that is true i'm furious i didn't get a call
08:47i heard you lost your ass jeez i texted you about that yeah just i don't want you to call me go in
08:57for a reconstruction surgery i don't i'm not all i want to talk about that or anything
09:02it was a text i sent a text if i want to talk about i would have called more curious about the
09:09happens all the time part right happens all the time all the time is what he's probably in a
09:15ass combine support group talk about that how it happens all the time you have to talk about my name
09:21is jim and i lost my ass cheeks he's not gonna he won't talk about it none of them will i just like
09:27picture myself sitting at a bar next to some some dude and he's like yeah i lost my ass in a combine
09:31accident like oh it happens more than you think what it does oh my i don't like talking about it
09:39why did you why you brought it up why did you say that to me
09:43yeah i mean ask questions i understand it like i need to talk about it because i lost my ass right
09:51but i also don't want to talk about it you don't want to talk about it i guess
09:55i don't want to talk about it