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  • 2 days ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who accidentally shot himself in the genitals and think about the horrors that would unfold after such a terrible experience.

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Transcript
00:00a man did accidentally shoot himself in the dong in Marion Indiana according to the city's police
00:10department deputy chief Stephen Dorsey says officers came in contact with a 46 year old
00:14man in the emergency room shortly before 7 a.m. yesterday the man told officers he was on a walkway
00:20when his high point nine millimeter handgun on his waistband without a holster began to slip
00:26when he reached down to adjust it it discharged nine millimeter huh it entered his penis and exited
00:35his scrotum I just picture like a like a dog or just like is it bad oh it is man is it bad is it
00:50I don't think I'm gonna make it tell me about all the bits that we were gonna see
00:56that's okay man I'm I got you let me hold you let me hold you let me hold you what's left of you
01:03is it don't look at it no no no no no yeah yeah yeah here you go here you go
01:11you're like where's the balls where where are my bodies where are the balls okay oh no no don't
01:18worry about your friends I want to see no no no no don't look okay no no don't look your friends
01:23are everything's so cold your friends didn't make it oh and you know what happens when I'm cold
01:27you're shaking away the life is just leaving them
01:33a war scene
01:36hmm
01:38I have some more morphine
01:40private Ryan music
01:41oh man
01:44dude can you imagine
01:46if you it went in my dong and out my ball sack
01:49it's over
01:50it's over
01:51game over
01:52yeah brutal brutal brutal
01:54unless you're dealing with it
01:56that's music
01:56darn this
02:00your balls died
02:05send a letter to my mom
02:10every once in a while I'll look back
02:13think to myself
02:16did my boner
02:19deserve it
02:20tell me I have a good boner
02:22I got a great big great boner
02:27tell me I earned it
02:28you earned it
02:29look at look around you
02:31get all the children you created
02:34tell me I'm good in bed
02:35well
02:36you're
02:37well you're
02:38you're alright
02:40oh man
02:47yep the Tom Hanks classic
02:49yep
02:50you got a great
02:58boner
02:58a two chance
03:00gets the job done
03:01you're a great man
03:03can they do anything
03:05about a penis with a bullet hole in it
03:07I think it heals up
03:09just like anything
03:10I think it heals up
03:12as long as it didn't hit anything
03:13as long as it didn't take it right off
03:14that's the thing
03:15if it just blew it
03:16blew it off
03:17I think you have a really good chance of dying
03:20bleeding out from that
03:21oh I think you do
03:21I think you have a really good chance of dying
03:23you need like a dong tourniquet
03:25a ball tourniquet
03:26yeah I don't know how you stop the bleeding there really
03:27pressure
03:28someone had
03:30someone had someone
03:30I'd have to put my hand on it
03:31you'd have to hold my ball sack
03:32real time
03:34yeah you would have to apply pressure right
03:36I would
03:37yeah
03:37you've got the little piece
03:38I can't
03:44just squeeze them
03:44tiny little thing
03:45all the way to the hospital
03:46you'd have to hold
03:47hold me tight
03:48oh man
03:48not a buddy would do that for you
03:51you'd do that
03:51a wiener cried like Giovanni Ribisi
03:53it'd be tough
03:55that'd be one of those tough injuries to react to
03:58you know
03:59like I don't want to react to anyone's injury
04:01like a broken leg or a broken arm
04:04but man
04:04that
04:05I couldn't be there for you
04:06oh
04:07if I came in here and Chuck had blown his dong off
04:10I don't know how
04:11and I'm like help
04:12I don't know how I would react
04:13help
04:13Chuck there's nothing we can
04:14I just
04:15that's why you can't get that red
04:16redemption
04:17exactly
04:18the gun you want
04:19gun
04:19don't get it Chuck
04:20you blow yourself to bits
04:21oh no I need to
04:22I need to
04:23I need to get bullets
04:24yeah
04:25I wouldn't even
04:26don't do it
04:26my bullets would be in another state
04:28can't we just get
04:29we'll get you
04:29ah
04:30Chuck
04:33you know Chuck
04:34that's what would happen
04:35Chuck
04:36that's Chuck
04:37Chuck
04:38Chuck is he'd blow his dong off
04:39yep
04:39exactly
04:40I wouldn't put bullets in it
04:41the one thing he has left to live for
04:43would be gone
04:44that's barely even a reason to live
04:46I can't imagine though
04:50like a six shooter bullet
04:51that's it
04:53I mean it's
04:55one and done
04:56that's it
04:56my only chance is to be shot with a 22
05:00yeah there'd be no saving Chuck's privates
05:04saving Chuck's privates
05:05I'll tell you this
05:06Dave dies before me
05:07why
05:09cause you got more area to bleed
05:11I don't know man
05:12you talk about those big balls
05:13I can probably just pinch that thing off
05:14well
05:15you always talk about your big balls
05:16it's a bigger area for
05:17blood to flow
05:18nah that's true
05:20you do always talk about that
05:21Dave's blood flow is in the dong
05:22yours is in your balls
05:23I bet his dong though
05:24that's where the blood is
05:25you know what I mean
05:26that's what fills up
05:28your balls don't
05:29fill up
05:30I wish they did
05:31but they got nothing to do with anything
05:33I also feel like
05:37the sack
05:38you could just tie it off easy
05:39yeah
05:40and stop the bleeding there
05:42I almost feel like my sack
05:43could bounce a bullet back
05:44like a trampoline
05:45you guys have amazing sacks then
05:48my sack's impressive
05:50just watch yourself guys
05:53be careful with your guns
05:54you don't want to blow your package off
05:56I don't