Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who was injured after a masturbation session and ask listeners to share their stories of self pleasure injuries.
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00:00It sucks to be old
00:08An unidentified 60-year-old
00:13Had to call an ambulance
00:16When a jerk-off session went wrong
00:20His own?
00:22His own
00:22Oh my god
00:23I've kind of done it this time
00:24Oh god
00:26Oh no
00:27I feel like I'm trapped every once in a while
00:32I don't want to know anymore
00:34Yeah, you don't
00:35I bet you don't
00:36Anymore
00:36Yeah, I feel like I'm trapped
00:38I don't want to know
00:38Oh boy, what am I going to do?
00:42Darn it
00:42I got to watch how I move here
00:44Stop it
00:45No more
00:47Careful
00:48But let's actually open that up to you for a moment
00:52What?
00:53Have you injured yourself self-pleasuring?
00:56And ladies, we'd love to hear from you on this topic
00:59Oh yeah, we won't
01:00But we would love to hear from us
01:02Ladies, do us a favor
01:03Change it up
01:04How have you injured yourself while self-pleasuring?
01:08Help us
01:09If you want to share your tale, join us now
01:12Let's do this together
01:141-855-954-6969
01:181-855-954-6969
01:22How you doing?
01:23I dropped my ashes in there
01:26You'll get what you want, Dave
01:27I feel like I don't even want to know what they're using to hurt themselves
01:30Hot ladies, call us
01:31Oh my god
01:32Pretty wild
01:33Also text us at 4-6969 if you must
01:36And if you need voice-changing technology, you can
01:38But we'd prefer you didn't
01:40We'd like to hear your lady voice
01:41Yeah
01:42I mean, guys you can call into
01:43But ladies
01:44Problems and whatnot
01:46Right
01:47This lady said
01:48When I was self-pleasuring
01:50I got so into it with my vibrator
01:53That I arched my back so high
01:57I threw my back out
01:59That's cool
02:00That is awesome
02:00Oh my god
02:01What an impressive feat
02:03Really cool
02:05Yeah
02:08More of those
02:10Yeah
02:11More stories like that
02:12Well, let's go to Ashley
02:13Who's with us, joining us
02:15Ashley, we're talking about
02:17Self-pleasure injuries
02:19What was yours?
02:23So I was using a toy
02:25I didn't realize how long it was
02:27So that went in and hurt
02:30And while pleasuring myself
02:35I had basically rubbed myself raw
02:39To the point that I actually got
02:41Extremely sensitive
02:44On the insides?
02:47Like right on the outside
02:50Oh my god
02:50Okay, so you rubbed your magic button raw
02:53Almost like a rug burn
02:56Right
02:56On it
02:57Very close to, yes
02:58When you say you didn't realize the size
03:01I mean, visually you can see
03:03I didn't realize that
03:07I wasn't
03:09Able to hold something
03:13It didn't look very long
03:15So I'm not exactly
03:17Able to have a long
03:20Yeah
03:21So women know that if you call in
03:23You will be interrogated by Dave
03:24Yes, of course
03:25We gotta get to the bottom of it
03:27We gotta get to the bottom of it
03:27Can't you see?
03:29Well, okay
03:29I think what happened is
03:31I mean, I'm just gonna
03:32Are you blind?
03:32I'm gonna go out on it
03:33Are you blind, lady?
03:34No, I just think
03:35She was shocked by the lack of vagina depth
03:38You're right
03:39Of herself
03:40Yes
03:40So you've only been with small men
03:43Before that
03:44Perfect, perfect
03:44I've been with a couple of men
03:47That were longer
03:48And I guess the position
03:50Didn't make it hurt
03:51But I guess with the position
03:55I was in with the toy
03:56It just didn't work very well
03:59Thank you
04:00Appreciate it
04:01Of course
04:02All the best to you
04:03And your rabbits
04:04There's the one lady that would
04:06There's more
04:07Oh, I don't know
04:08There's more
04:09Jason, will you share
04:11You want me to read that one?
04:12Yeah, you go ahead
04:13Go ahead
04:13Go ahead
04:14Okay
04:15We're talking about self-pleasure injuries
04:17And Jason had a text come in here
04:18I had to rush my roommate to the ER
04:21Because he ruptured his prostate
04:23With a sounding rod
04:25And the rod was hollow
04:27God
04:28And it was pouring blood
04:31Out of the end of the
04:32Like a straw
04:33Like a straw
04:34Like a straw
04:35He punctured something
04:37He punctured something
04:38Oh my god
04:39He went in through the pee hole
04:41I'm just making the connection
04:43And got to the prostate
04:44And then sticking a straw
04:46In like an orange
04:47Like a potato
04:48Yep
04:49Like a watermelon
04:51All right
04:51A science experiment
04:52Man, you gotta be careful
04:54I ain't cool
04:56I ain't cool
04:56With sounding
04:57No
04:58No
04:59I know you're not
05:02I just had to say it
05:04I know you'd say to him
05:05As you were driving him
05:06If you had to drive him
05:07Just so you know, man
05:09I ain't cool with sounding
05:12I just don't get it
05:13Even like seeing a picture
05:15It is the most terrifying
05:17Horrible looking thing ever
05:18I can't even imagine
05:19Having to tell you
05:20Like, dude
05:21I need you to drive me
05:22Somewhere
05:23You're not gonna believe it
05:25But you gotta go somewhere else
05:26Yeah, I put a sounding straw
05:28Right through my prostate
05:29Dude
05:30Check this out
05:31I ain't cool with sounding
05:32I know you're not
05:34I don't want you to judge me
05:37But it's the truth
05:37Just take me to the ER
05:39I'm bleeding out
05:41Yeah, you are
05:42I have a straw on myself
05:43It's like a fountain
05:43Yeah
05:44Check this out
05:45We're going to Nixie
05:46In Detroit
05:48Hi, Nixie
05:48Hi there
05:50How's it going?
05:50Good
05:51We're talking about
05:52Self-pleasure injuries
05:53What's happened to you?
05:55So, basically
05:56I'm gonna lead with
05:57Do you know who
05:58Small Hands is
05:59From Burning Angel
06:00Joanna Angel
06:01And Small Hands?
06:02Absolutely not
06:03No
06:04No
06:04I know Burning Angel
06:05Oh, come on
06:05Oh, you do
06:06And Joanna Angel
06:07Like the tattooed
06:09Porn star lady, right?
06:11Exactly
06:12Well, her husband
06:12Her husband came out
06:14With a line of special toys
06:15And I decided to use it
06:17Before my birthday
06:18I ended up going so deep
06:20And so hard on this toy
06:22That I ended up
06:22Rupturing a cyst
06:24In my ovary
06:25And I had to get it
06:26Drained in the hospital
06:26Sweet lady
06:28Injury
06:29My gosh
06:30You gotta know
06:31What you got going on
06:32In there
06:32What toy?
06:34What kind of toy?
06:35Her
06:35Her
06:36Look it up
06:36Look up
06:37Look up
06:37Small Hands
06:38And I'm telling you
06:39Right now
06:40You'll see what I mean
06:41Small Hand
06:43Sex toy
06:43Is that what we're calling it?
06:44Yes
06:44I don't know
06:45It's made by Doc Johnson
06:46Yeah
06:46That's it
06:47Jeez
06:48Oh, okay
06:49Good lord
06:49This is some regular dildo, right?
06:52Nah, I wouldn't say regular
06:53No
06:54Yeah
06:54It is regular to Dave
06:57It is regular to Dave
06:59I'm just saying
06:59It's just like
07:00Oh my god
07:00It's exactly nine inches
07:01It's regular to Dave
07:04That's hilarious
07:05Some kind of crazy device
07:06Oh my god
07:07That's hilarious
07:08Confirmation
07:10Small Hands
07:10Is this man
07:11Oh my god
07:12That cost her a lot more than $60
07:17At hospital stay
07:18Oh, yeah
07:19It does
07:20Yeah, you don't think
07:21It's that
07:21Yeah
07:22Dave's like
07:23What's the big whoop here?
07:26I'm just saying
07:26Exactly a nine inch
07:27The way she was describing it
07:28I thought it was some crazy ass sex toy
07:30It's just a dildo
07:30No, it's just Dave's penis
07:31How did you injure yourself
07:33While self-pleasuring?
07:34Melissa is up next
07:35Hi, Melissa
07:36Hi, guys
07:37How are you?
07:38We're doing okay
07:38So what happened to you?
07:40Oh, goodness
07:41This is very embarrassing
07:42I can't believe I'm sharing
07:43Oh my
07:44I was using a
07:47Like a nipple clamp
07:48On my
07:49Let's say
07:50Magic button
07:51Oh, yeah
07:51Clamp it down
07:53You gotta clamp it down, Dave
07:55You're into some stuff, Melissa
07:55You gotta clamp it down
07:57Right?
07:58Uh-huh
07:58Tie it a little bit
07:59A little bit tighter
08:00Yeah, no
08:00It just holds on
08:01In one way
08:02But when I tried to remove it
08:04The lube got pretty slippery
08:06And it slammed shut
08:08Back down on it
08:09Oh!
08:10Yikes!
08:11Oh, man
08:12You snapped it
08:13Yeah, it was horrible
08:13How do you
08:14Yeah, really bad
08:14I mean, is that a vocal?
08:16Is that an internal scream?
08:18Like, how do you react
08:18When you accidentally clamp?
08:20Oh, it was
08:20A visceral scream
08:22Absolutely
08:23And the worst part is
08:24I was recording it
08:25So I have it on video
08:26Oh, my God
08:27Incredible
08:27That is
08:28Oh, it's part of your show?
08:30Yeah, it's amazing
08:31Do you have an OnlyFans?
08:33Or was that for just your partner?
08:35It was for my partner
08:36Yeah
08:37It was a request for my partner
08:38That is amazing
08:40That's nice
08:40It's very wrong
08:41That's quite a request
08:42It's a very
08:42It's a kind thing for you to do, Melissa
08:45It really is
08:46Yeah, right
08:47Thanks, guys
08:48Long-time listener
08:48Love you
08:49Appreciate it
08:50Hope your bit's okay
08:51I don't want you to do anything crazy for me
08:53Just do one of your weird clamps
08:54Yeah
08:55Nipple clamps on your bit
08:56Just put the electrode nipple clamp on yourself
08:59Nothing too much
09:00Lube that thing up and clamp it down
09:02I want you to open it up
09:03And then release it really fast
09:04And snap
09:05Snap that thing
09:06This lady said my boyfriend wanted to try something new
09:10Oh, no
09:11And put two things in my back door
09:14Two
09:15His penis
09:17And a toy
09:18It stretched me out so bad
09:22That it tore my butthole
09:23And I bled profusely
09:26Holy crap
09:27I mean
09:27You gotta work up to things, right?
09:30I mean, everybody knows
09:31I'm healed
09:32But there's scar tissue back there
09:33That protrudes now
09:34And looks very weird
09:36Oh
09:37Oh, no
09:38Shoot
09:38I'm not blown out
09:39But it looks like a
09:40Womp
09:41Womp
09:42Is she with that guy still?
09:43I bet
09:43Double back door man?
09:45I don't know
09:45Yeah, I don't know
09:46It's tough, man
09:47That guy's crazy
09:48We're gonna push it to maximum
09:50He's like a scientist
09:55Okay, I'm in
09:57Next
09:58What else can I find?
10:01Like, oh, lady
10:02We're gonna see how far we can go
10:04Push it
10:05Maximum
10:08Some people
10:11Are adventurous, man
10:13Yeah
10:14They're adventurous
10:14Popped apart like a balloon
10:16That would look like that
10:18I had a buddy of mine
10:20Who thought it would be a good idea
10:21To try a dildo
10:22In his backside
10:23For the first time
10:24While he was cranking his hog
10:25He had it on a string
10:28In case it went in too deep
10:30Oh, the Dave, yeah
10:31Let's not call it the Dave
10:33The Dave safety method
10:35That is, yeah
10:36That's my
10:36I call that the Dave
10:39The Dave
10:41It went in too deep anyway
10:43Oh, yeah
10:44And it caused him to pass right out
10:46With a vibrator in his ass
10:48If the string was attached to something
10:51I hope he was suspended
10:52In the middle of the air
10:53Just by his mouth
10:55Like a marionette
10:57Yeah
10:58His parents found him
11:02Oh, no
11:03Rushed him to the hospital
11:04He's got a string in his butt
11:05Halfway there
11:07Still passed out
11:08He finaled while he was unconscious
11:12Oh, my goodness
11:13And moaned right in front of his parents
11:14Oh, no
11:15Oh, no
11:16Is he mute now?
11:17Yeah
11:17He only communicates through text
11:19He can't talk
11:20Dear God
11:20He'd love to call in
11:22Your parents found you
11:23With a dildo in your ass
11:24Passed out
11:25As they were transporting you
11:27Quickly to the hospital
11:28You finale'd and moaned
11:30In their backseat
11:30My dad would never speak to me again
11:32He would never speak to you
11:34He would never speak to me again
11:35He would never, ever, ever speak to me
11:38He'd be so disappointed
11:38No, he's like
11:40He wouldn't understand
11:41You're shameful
11:42He wouldn't understand
11:43No
11:44Any of it
11:45Not even a little bit of it
11:48I found him nude
11:49He was hard
11:52And he had some kind of shoestring
11:56In his butt
11:59And all I could hear was
12:01Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz
12:03Buzzin'
12:03Some kind of pattern
12:05I was like what
12:07in God's green earth
12:09is happening
12:10but I don't talk to him anymore
12:12I don't even see him
12:14I miss my grandkids
12:17but
12:17it's not worth it after that
12:20that's too bad man
12:24it didn't really happen
12:27it didn't really happen to me
12:28no but for this guy
12:29oh yeah for him
12:31that is too bad
12:33I mean and to finish
12:36I can't even imagine
12:37finishing in front of your parents
12:39and your vocal
12:41oh my god
12:43yikes
12:45you know