Malcolm In The Middle Season 3 Episode 12 Company Picnic Pt 2
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00:00Lori, hi!
00:02It is so good to see you!
00:04Just keep moving.
00:06How, do you even know your new boss is here?
00:08Are you kidding? They're all here.
00:10There's Landon, the head of the whole company.
00:12I woke up the next morning with the dog flicking my face.
00:16And I actually thought it was my husband!
00:20I'm gonna go see what my husband is.
00:22It is a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Landon!
00:26Same here!
00:30You're playing girls?
00:32Well, the men won't play us until they beat their ladies to you.
00:35You're responsible for these valuables till after the game.
00:38The other coach wants to make a little wager with you.
00:41I don't know what's up with my skates, the blades are so dull!
00:44Hey! Somebody unscrewed mine!
00:47I'm over!
00:49If you liked somebody, would you say something?
00:53I like you too, Lori.
00:54Oh my God!
00:55What?
00:56I was talking about Gary Spindler!
00:58Now remember, we're only going to be tied together for three hours.
01:02So let's get hopping!
01:04Yes, no, maybe.
01:10I don't know.
01:13Can you repeat the question?
01:17You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now.
01:26And you're not so big.
01:27big. You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss
01:35of me now. And you're not so big. Life is unfair.
01:46Wow. These are nice woods. Come on, Malcolm. We're still friends. We can still have fun,
01:55right? Why don't you help me with this clue? North of the fork and up a small hill under a joke
02:03without J is a small yellow bill. This doesn't make any sense. You'd think these clues would make
02:11sense. Gary Spindler? Malcolm. Just tell me what you've seen, that jerk. He high fives people when
02:19they decide what they want on their pizza. He still says, it's the bomb. Hi, I'm Gary Spindler. I've
02:25got a laser pointer. I think he's nice. And can we just concentrate on the scavenger hunt? We're
02:31going to fall behind if we don't figure this out. It's a stupid yellow duck under that oak
02:36tree right there. Joke without J, oak, oak tree. The fork was just back there.
02:45Wow, you were right. That was great, Malcolm. You know, you're really good at this.
02:50Yes, I am. And I have a lot of other good qualities, too. In fact, there's lots of things
02:56people would like about me if they gave me half a chance. Can we just do this? Fine.
03:03Okay, clue number two. Look for this gem on an overgrown hem. Stay to your right or it might
03:11take all night. For God's sakes, Gary Spindler.
03:29What's going on out there? We're down by two goals. I don't know. I can't get any speed
03:35with these skates. Let's get them sharp, man. I already had Francis sharpen them twice.
03:46Besides, that number 32 is amazing. She's a monster. She's crippled our whole front line.
03:52Sorry to take you away from your family, Mr. Landon.
04:04Listen, about this whole Mr. Landon thing. I know. I know, Bert. Listen, Bert, I need your help.
04:11The cubicle dwellers are getting a little restless. Apparently, they know about my reputation
04:16for downsizing. Now, I thought you could shoot them a little BS, calm them down.
04:22Well, actually, I... Great. Hey, everybody!
04:25I know there are some concerns here. So, I've brought Mr. Landon over to put your minds at ease.
04:33Now, remember, he's taking time away from his family. So, not too many questions.
04:38This is beautiful. Hey, Phil! Mr. Landon over here would like to put our minds at ease.
04:44Isn't that right, Bert?
04:47How?
04:49Bert! Albert! Halbert! Hal!
04:52How? You know?
04:54I'm sensing a lot of confusion here.
04:58But the key word to keep in mind is loyalty.
05:03When you're worried about your job, it's very tempting to make a fellow co-worker look bad.
05:11But, I mean, who really cares if someone's wife's an alcoholic?
05:17Or that someone has a certain unnatural attraction to women's shoes?
05:24The important thing is we're in this together.
05:28And remember, nobody likes a snitch.
05:31So, let's have a great picnic, huh?
05:37North of the fork and up a small hill.
05:54Under a joke without J is a small yellow bill.
05:58I won't see a fork, but I saw a broken spoon.
06:01Shut up. I'm trying to think of a joke without a lot of J's in it.
06:05Ooh.
06:07I found a cup.
06:09You're supposed to look for a fork.
06:11You know a fork?
06:13The little thing with...
06:14bangs?
06:16Jeez.
06:17You go. I'll stay here.
06:18We have to go together.
06:20We're tied to each other, you idiot.
06:23Ooh!
06:24Got it!
06:34Five more and we win!
06:40Five more and we win!
06:41You're a genius.
06:43Thanks.
06:44You're, uh, big.
06:48No!
06:49No!
06:49No!
06:51Woo!
06:54Yeah!
06:56Hey!
06:57Lavernia!
06:58Looks like we're gonna make it nine years in a row.
07:01Maybe we should put some of our pregnant girls in there
07:04and make it more of a game.
07:07Now, who is that helping?
07:09All that's gonna do is make her feel bad.
07:12Plus, now all our pregnant girls are gonna want to get in the game.
07:17Number 32 is killing us!
07:20Looks like it's time for a little strategy.
07:39Terry!
07:40Let's play some hockey!
08:10Let's play some hockey!
08:35You are amazing out there!
08:37I would have never found those kids without you!
08:40You know something?
08:41Together we make the perfect three-legged person!
08:45I wish we could stay like this forever!
08:48Yeah...
08:49Wait a minute!
08:51Why can't we?
08:52There's people that do surgeries!
08:54You're the smartest guy I've ever met!
08:57Thanks, buddy!
08:58Come on, we gotta find that fork!
09:03He!
09:04I!
09:05I!
09:06He!
09:07What did I tell you?!
09:08I'm gonna sit in that shirt until the picnic is over!
09:13Excuse me.
09:14Are you Lois?
09:15Yes.
09:16Where do you get off talking to my wife about my mother?
09:20Woo!
09:21I'll have you know that I went to my bed every night till I was 16 and my mother changed
09:27those sheets for years and never said a word.
09:30I don't care if they don't get along.
09:33My mother's important to me.
09:34Hey!
09:35I never said anything about your mother.
09:36And by the way, I don't have a porn problem.
09:39Did she tell you that she was the one to introduce it into our home?
09:43You know, I don't have any interest in your...
09:45It was her idea, and now I'm the pervert!
09:49I don't know what it is about porn.
09:51Maybe it's the safety of emotional distance, or maybe it's just the thrill of...
09:55All right, that's it!
09:57If you're gonna make me do this, we're gonna do this.
10:00Now sit down!
10:02Your problem is you both see yourselves as victims.
10:08You've gotta talk to each other.
10:10There's a certain thing called give and take you need to make a relationship work.
10:14Do you understand?
10:15Yes.
10:16I'm not finished with you!
10:18Now, if you are gonna make this work, you have to make sure that you are home every night at 6.30.
10:24Not 6.35.
10:25Not 6.31.
10:26You have gotta create an atmosphere of trust.
10:33Go!
10:34Go!
10:35Yeah!
10:36Yeah!
10:37Yeah!
10:38Yeah!
10:39Yeah!
10:40Ah!
10:41Ah!
10:42Ah!
10:43Hey, I'm starting to think we might actually win this thing!
10:51Damn right we will!
10:52I got 600 bucks riding on it!
10:57Francis, what are you doing out here?
10:58Here, man.
10:59Sure.
11:00Where's Amos?
11:01You ran out of here screaming something about government helicopters and murderous clones.
11:07Hello?
11:08Is there anybody there?
11:10Don't worry.
11:11I'll cover for him.
11:12Alright.
11:13You're a good man, Francis.
11:15Hey, I'm just doing what anybody would do.
11:17Sorry.
11:18Hey, look at this!
11:19We're doing great!
11:20You're so good at this.
11:21Stop!
11:22What are you doing?
11:23I'm sorry!
11:24I'm sorry!
11:25I'm sorry!
11:26I'm sorry!
11:27I'm sorry!
11:28I'm sorry!
11:29I'm sorry!
11:30So just tell me.
11:31What's your big problem with me?
11:32Malcolm!
11:33No, seriously!
11:34I want to know!
11:35Am I too short?
11:36Am I too smart?
11:37Malcolm, can we please drop this?
11:38I'm smart, okay?
11:39Is that a crime?
11:40I'm sorry I'm not a moron like Gary Spindler!
11:42Malcolm, stop it!
11:43What are you doing?
11:44I want you to tell me why you don't like me!
11:45Why are you doing this?
11:46I want a straight answer!
11:47God!
11:48I can't believe I liked you in the third grade!
11:49You liked me in the third grade!
11:50I knew it!
11:51I wasn't crazy!
11:52You did like me!
11:53So what the hell has changed?
11:55Tell me!
11:56I defy!
11:57You do that!
11:58You do you mean you do that?
11:59I'm not crazy!
12:00In the third grade!
12:01You do that!
12:02How cool is it?
12:03I never think I hate you!
12:05I'm not smart!
12:06I'm not a moron like Gary Spindler!
12:08Malcolm, stop it!
12:11What are you doing?
12:14I want you to tell me why you don't like me!
12:16Why are you doing this?
12:17I want a straight answer!
12:18Tell me. I defy you to tell me.
12:20Nothing. That's the problem.
12:23You're still the same obsessive, whining, know-it-all who doesn't listen to anyone.
12:29But you did like me in the third grade.
12:30Malcolm, I don't like you.
12:34Can you get that through your head?
12:37Before, I just didn't have a crush on you.
12:39And now, I can't stand you.
12:42So, you want me to tell you why I don't like you?
12:45You want me to tell you why I like.
12:47Like, nice, funny Gary Spindler.
12:50And absolutely despise bitter, annoying Malcolm.
12:55Do you?
12:56Look.
12:56Well, I'm going to tell you.
12:58There is something wrong with you.
13:01I don't know how you do it.
13:03You're cute, smart, funny.
13:05And somehow, you managed to mess that up.
13:08Like today.
13:09It was an awkward situation.
13:11But it would have passed.
13:13But you just kept picking at it.
13:16And picking at it.
13:17And don't turn this big, horrible thing.
13:20There is something wrong inside you.
13:23There is something rotten at the core of your personality.
13:27You're just off.
13:29I just opened my purse to get a Tic Tac and he dropped out of a tree on my back.
13:44I am so sorry.
13:45Now, you go and you sit down in that chair and you put your head down.
13:52Okay.
13:53Did you straighten things out with Pratt?
13:55Almost.
13:56Oh, for God's sake, Hal.
13:59Where is he?
13:59I'll go talk to him.
14:00No, no, no, no, no, no.
14:01It's too late now.
14:02It would be awkward.
14:04Hal, you work with the man.
14:06He's going to find out.
14:08Look, it'll be like two seconds of embarrassment and then it's over.
14:10Now, go.
14:28Pratt, do you have a moment?
14:30For you, Bert?
14:30Of course.
14:32You're fired.
14:34What?
14:34I don't think it's working out, so let's just make a clean break.
14:37I haven't even started yet.
14:39What could you possibly be basing this on?
14:42My gut.
14:43Well, I didn't get this far without trusting my instincts.
14:46I'm sorry, son.
14:48I think it's best if you just leave the picnic now.
14:54They have some sort of foil if you want to wrap that up.
14:56I'm so sorry, Malcolm.
15:06I just started talking and I couldn't stop and I said all those mean things.
15:11I didn't even mean half of them.
15:14Who am I to say their kids would be screwed up?
15:16I mean, you might not even have kids.
15:20Are you okay?
15:24I think I can stop crying now.
15:26Can you hand me more leaves?
15:29Oh, Malcolm.
15:32No, really.
15:33I'll be fine.
15:34No, Malcolm.
15:36That's poison oak.
15:41Of course it is.
15:52That's a shot!
15:56Ah, jeez, guys.
16:03My bad.
16:04How could I have done that?
16:07Ah, don't beat yourself up, buddy.
16:09We all make mistakes.
16:12Shake it off.
16:13You're doing your best.
16:14Eric, I'm doing terrible.
16:20Why is everybody being so nice to me?
16:22You're doing your best, man.
16:24You're part of the team now.
16:25Good or bad, we're in this together.
16:27Okay.
16:27Okay, it looks like you boys have all the items on the list here.
16:35Plus a wallet, girl's bracelet, and a fork.
16:38It's just a hundred bucks.
16:40There you go.
16:42Thanks.
16:43Now, how about we separate you two?
16:45I'll miss you.
17:07Nice.
17:07Mom, you don't have to hold on to me.
17:13I'll be good.
17:15Okay.
17:16Lois?
17:17You don't have to thank me.
17:19Let me just enjoy the rest of the picnic with my family.
17:21You told my husband that I was insane.
17:24You told him that I should be committed.
17:26I didn't say that.
17:27And how does letting him videotape us in bed help our marriage?
17:31What?
17:32I didn't tell...
17:34Listen, lady, you gotta stop this.
17:39I don't have time for my own family's problems without listening to you two nutcases.
17:45So why don't you just...
17:51I don't think you understood me.
17:57I don't think you understood me.
18:27I don't think you understood me.
18:31I don't think I know what to do.
18:33I'm אז, I'm son.
18:34I didn't tell you I didn't hear you.
18:36I got here.
18:45I can release you.
18:46I'll be good.
18:48Oh no no!
18:52We can do it!
18:53We can do it.
18:54No!
18:54He understands me!
18:56No!
18:57Oh, my God.
19:27Come on, buddy, this is it. We can do this. Just get in there.
19:53You know, I don't think I can... Eric, there's something I've got to tell.
19:57Damn it! Get up! Do something!
20:12Hey!
20:14No!
20:16No!
20:28No!
20:30No!
20:34No!
20:36No!
20:38No!
20:40No!
20:42No!
20:44No!
20:46No!
20:47No!
20:48No!
20:49No!
20:50I'll be fine.
21:09Just win this thing.
21:11Now, just to be clear, I'm not looking for anything long-term here.
21:24I'm not looking for anything long.
21:54I'm not looking for anything long.
22:24I'm not looking for anything long.
22:54I'm not looking for anything long.
23:24I'm not looking for anything long.
23:54I'm not looking for anything long.
23:56I'm not looking for anything long.
23:58I'm not looking for anything long.
24:00I'm not looking for anything long.
24:02I'm not looking for anything long.
24:04I'm not looking for anything long.
24:06I'm not looking for anything long.
24:08I'm not looking for anything long.
24:10I'm not looking for anything long.
24:12I'm not looking for anything long.
24:16I'm not looking for anything long.
24:18I'm not looking for anything long.
24:20I'm not looking for anything long.
24:22I'm not looking for anything long.
24:24I'm not looking for anything long.
24:26I'm not looking for anything long.
24:28I'm not looking for anything long.
24:30I'm not looking for anything long.
24:34I'm not looking for anything long.
24:36I'm not looking for anything long.
24:38I'm not looking for anything long.
24:40I'm not looking for anything long.
24:42Mama!
24:44Everything's gonna be okay.
24:46Everything's gonna be okay.
24:48Everything's gonna be okay.
24:50Who's that idiot who just pulled out and flipped everyone off?
24:54Oh, that's Pratt, sir. He starts this week.
24:57No, no. The only thing he starts this week is a long lifetime of misery.
25:03You have our friends at the IRS give him a call.
25:06So maybe we can hang out sometime or something.
25:13I mean, when you're better.
25:16Oh, come on, Malcolm. It's not that bad.
25:19Give me a smile.
25:22Are you smiling?
25:24I can't tell.
25:26I'm smiling.
25:36Oh, that went better than expected.
25:42I can't tell.
26:12I can't tell.