The MRL Show: LauRen Lost In The Woods
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FunTranscript
00:00So my husband and I took our kids down to Palmetto Bluff in South Carolina this past weekend.
00:06And it was supposed to be like just a relaxed family weekend.
00:11And when we got down there, not only did our kids lock us out of the hotel room.
00:16You told that story yesterday while you were sitting on the porch.
00:19We stepped out on the terrace and I heard the sliding door close and then the lock turn over.
00:26And I just yelled, Jackson!
00:31And you had to turn the TV off to get Cash's attention.
00:34Well, our little snafus didn't stop at getting locked out and me forgetting my bag with all of my clothes in it for the weekend.
00:43We decided to take the kids on what we thought was going to be a short bike ride.
00:49The hotel that we were staying at, your room comes with bikes and they have this little like tow behind thing.
00:54So the kids could ride instead of riding their own bikes.
00:58They get pulled.
00:59Yeah.
01:00And Dallas and I...
01:01So did you each have a bike?
01:02We both had a bike.
01:03I had a bike with nobody attached to me.
01:05And then Dallas had a bike pulling both kids.
01:07That makes sense.
01:08Which, by the way, is like 70 pounds between the two of them.
01:10Why didn't you offer to pull maybe Jack's or Cash?
01:12No way.
01:13Cash weighs less than your youngest.
01:15Dallas loves Peloton classes.
01:19So this was his Peloton class.
01:20So we, at some point, decide we're going to leave our hotel room and I need clothes.
01:27So let's go to the little market and I'll see if there's any shops there that I can just grab a couple quick sundresses for the weekend.
01:35Right.
01:35Because you forgot your bag.
01:37Because I forgot my bag.
01:38So we load the kids up and we head to what we think is the closest market.
01:44And Dallas asked the front desk and he's like, yeah, they said it's just like around the corner or whatever.
01:49He goes, I think it's called Moreland Landing.
01:52And I go, okay, well, there's a Wilson Landing, too.
01:54So are you sure it's Moreland or is it Wilson?
01:56And he goes, no, no, no.
01:57I think it's the first one.
01:59I go, okay.
02:00So we get on the bikes.
02:02We set to go where we think, because there's all these signs that say Moreland Landing.
02:09Yep.
02:09We're following the bike path.
02:11The bike path cuts into the woods.
02:13It goes from a paved road to a gravel road to a sand road.
02:21We're now in the middle of the woods.
02:22We've been riding for an hour.
02:24And Dallas and I look at each other and we're like, I don't think this is right.
02:28I don't see any super malls off of this road.
02:33No.
02:34And I go, well, we've been riding for so long on this path.
02:38It has to come out somewhere.
02:39And I'm sure we're closer to the end than we are where we came in.
02:44So let's just continue on.
02:46And when we get to civilization again, we'll ask how to get back.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And he goes, okay.
02:52And he's tired.
02:53I can tell he's tired.
02:53Yeah, he's pulling the kids through the sand on a bike.
02:56And I am not offering to switch bikes at this point.
03:00So we pedal for another 30 minutes and nothing.
03:05We are not out of the woods.
03:06We have no idea where we are.
03:08We call the hotel.
03:09They're like, we don't even know where you are.
03:13Like, what are you looking at?
03:15A tree.
03:16I see a rock, sand.
03:18Yeah.
03:19They're like, none of our bike paths are sand.
03:23Good, okay.
03:26So they're like, well, keep going.
03:27And when you figure out where you are, call us and we'll come get you.
03:30Get more lost so that we can use a point of reference.
03:34Right, so we can find you.
03:36So we continue down the road.
03:38And finally, about two hours after being on this path, we come out the other side.
03:43And they're like, we tell them what roads we're at.
03:46They're like, you're nowhere near the hotel.
03:49How did you screw this up so badly?
03:51Oh, my God.
03:53So how far were you?
03:55I mean, we were like four miles away from the hotel.
03:58So did you eventually get to a store to find sundresses?
04:01No, there was no stores at Marlin Landing.
04:04There's restaurants.
04:06So by the time we get back to the hotel, I'm hot.
04:10I'm tired.
04:11Irritated.
04:11I'm irritated.
04:12I'm like, you know what?
04:13Forget it.
04:14I'll just wear the same clothes.
04:15Which, by the way, are going to walk away because I just spent two and a half hours biking in 100 degrees and 100% humidity.
04:23Man, I'd love to hear Dallas' side of this whole thing.
04:27He was just as annoyed as I was, if not more.
04:29I bet.
04:30I have no sense of direction.
04:33Nobody should be following me anywhere.
04:35I've lived in Charlotte for 10 years.
04:36I still use my GPS to go home.
04:38Oh, I love it.
04:39How many people out there forget the GPS and traveling, like, directions?
04:43We've talked about that before.
04:45But I'm not sure we've ever had the conversation about being lost in the woods because that can get scary.
04:51Like, we have tons of hiking trails in North and South Carolina.
04:55So we want to hear from you guys.
04:56Hey, we got a text from somebody that said, Katie, in Bluffton, South Carolina, goes, I live near Palmetto Bluff and listen to the show.
05:03The trails there are absolutely crazy.
05:05Yeah, I'm going to phone you for a lifeline next time.
05:08I can't believe that Loren even took the trail.
05:11Hey, real quick before we go to break.
05:12Kyle in Lincolnton.
05:14Hey.
05:15So my cousin-in-law actually got lost in the Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky.
05:21He's in the National Guard.
05:23He works for state emergency management, or he did at the time.
05:27And it became just like five hours before he was found.
05:33It got to a point they were about to send the National Guard out looking for him, and there's about five state agencies trying to find him.
05:40Wow.
05:40Wow.
05:41The truck that he drove for emergency management was four-wheel drive, and he got it stuck on a dry creek bed.
05:51Wow.
05:51But they found, how long was he, how long did it take them to find him?
05:54He said five hours.
05:55It was about five hours.
05:57It was roughly 11 o'clock at night.
06:00Oh.
06:01That makes it worse.
06:03They had his GPS location, but where it said he was, he wasn't there.
06:08They found him because he started a fire, and they could see the glow of his fire.
06:13Thank you, Kyle.
06:14Thanks for the call.
06:14I wouldn't even have thought of that.
06:15See, if the sun goes down and I'm stuck in the marsh, I'm a victim.
06:18I'm getting eaten by an alligator.
06:19The thought of lighting a fire or sitting out a smokescreen never crossed John's mind.
06:24Never would occur to me.
06:25I'm not outdoorsy.
06:26I'm not outdoorsy.