Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 18X01 Adultizzle Swizzle
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00:00It's Alive!
00:30Welcome back to First Date, where we've already matched up some unlikely couples.
00:48A geek with a beauty queen, a basketball player with a dwarf, and jackass star Steve-o with someone who isn't a loser.
00:56But this time, we've outdone ourselves.
00:59Susan hails from Los Angeles, and like all of us, she's looking to be bitten, that is, smitten, by love.
01:06So, I was like, raised Jewish, and family's very important to me.
01:12If my dad knew how important sex was to me, I would die.
01:17Daddy's little princess has a wild streak. Think we can find someone to tame her?
01:22Douglas is a predator from Newark, New Jersey, who prides himself on his trophy collection.
01:27But are women just part of the hunt for him?
01:29I'm sure I respect women. One time, this girl I knew had big boobs, and I respect that.
01:36I'm a gentleman. If someone disrespects my girl, I'll skin him. You know how sweet like that.
01:42One's an alien, the other's a predator. Will they have chemistry, or is this a case of science friction?
01:49Oh, hi.
01:54Oh, hi.
01:55Are you Susan?
01:56Yes, nice to meet you.
01:58I'm Douglas.
02:01Hmm, yeah. Beautiful day we're having.
02:05Yeah, yeah, it's great.
02:07So, what kind of guys do you usually date?
02:13Oh, I don't know. I don't really have a type.
02:17My father may not approve of you, though, since I'm Jewish and you're Predator American.
02:23Oh, he's kind of protective, huh?
02:25Yeah, totally. He's kind of tough.
02:28So, how important is sex to you in a relationship?
02:36Oh, I don't know. Pretty important, I guess.
02:40Yeah, I don't know what I'd do without sex. I gotta have it all the time.
02:44All the time, huh?
02:45Hot tubs and lights, aren't they? I also love the way the moonlight on the water brings out the shine on your chitinous shell.
02:59Aww.
03:01Oh, no.
03:03Don't do it.
03:04You can do better.
03:07Ew.
03:08So, it was really nice meeting you.
03:12You're, um, you're a really nice person.
03:17Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
03:20Are you okay?
03:22Um, uh, you want a band-aid?
03:29Oh, that date didn't end well, did it, folks?
03:32Think they'll ever go on again?
03:34Let's check back and ask them.
03:38Guess not.
03:42Now's our chance, boys!
03:58Oh, my God!
03:59Look at him!
04:00Back traffic!
04:01You gotta get out of the car!
04:03Tetsuo!
04:09Welcome back to the Carousel of Tomorrow, where we look at humanity's march into the future.
04:15Can you imagine, excited viewers, what marvels the 21st century holds?
04:20Why, just imagine, the Chinese say they're going to land a man on the moon by the year 2020.
04:28What would that be like, do you think?
04:30No.
04:31No.
04:32No!
04:35Inspiring.
04:37As we reach towards space, we also look inward.
04:41The unlocking of the human genome will allow the birth of perfect babies in the future.
04:46Why, think of a world without disease, or midgets, where every child is perfect in every way.
04:55See how?
04:56Well, and would you believe that as high-speed internet access improves, doctors can perform complicated surgeries without leaving the beach?
05:06You will.
05:10And in the future, virtual reality sex will be perfected, and society will be forever changed.
05:18Mr. Wembley?
05:26You like that, don't you, bitch?
05:28Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.
05:31Mayor McCheese!
05:32Mayor McCheese!
05:33How do your views differ from Governor Schwarzenegger, given that he's a Republican, and you have a cheeseburger for a head?
05:39It's a birth defect!
05:42Oh, I've dealt with prejudice all my life.
05:46Mr. Mayor!
05:47Mr. Mayor!
05:48There have been allegations that you have taken women to motel rooms and paid them to go to the bathroom on your chest.
05:56Uh, uh, uh, uh, rawrrawrrawrrawr!
05:58Oh, don't get any blood on the new carpet!
06:12America's number one today in Super Spy is back in action!
06:16Never mess with a man's raw thigh array!
06:20The hood-mounted gatling guns are quite deadly when...
06:24How many miles per gallon?
06:25Uh, 25 or so.
06:27Now the smokescreen generator...
06:29Is that highway or city mileage?
06:37Do you expect me to talk, Goyfinger?
06:40No, Mr. Hashana.
06:42I expect you to eat this VLT!
06:45That's not car-
06:46This summer, get chillin' with the tefillin!
06:50Ross Hashana!
06:51I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today...
06:58Good morning, everyone!
07:03I would gladly pay you Tuesday...
07:06No deal, Wimpy!
07:07Oh, no!
07:08No more hamburgers for old Wimpy!
07:15Don't do that, dear boy!
07:17Why not?
07:18Why, just look at what everyone's lives would be like without you!
07:22Without you!
07:24Good job, Bluto!
07:26Nice hair, a bird!
07:29Bounce!
07:30Bounce!
07:30Bounce!
07:32Thanks for curing cancer, Alice the Goon!
07:46Oh, well.
07:47Sorry for wasting your time!
07:48Huuu-
07:49OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
07:51HAMBURGAS!
07:52No-
07:53AaaAY!
07:53Im픈
07:54LIMPLE
07:54Uhhh!
07:54Let's go!
09:06Ooh, stick cereal.
09:09I gotta have some.
09:11Stupid bunny.
09:12Sticks are intended for children.
09:14Just give me a little.
09:15He touched me inappropriately.
09:16Couldn't stay off the sugar, right?
09:23But I can't help myself.
09:25My mother ate sugar when she was pregnant with me.
09:30You want to control the sugar?
09:32Stop using and start selling.
09:35Here, look this guy up when you're out.
09:37Rabbit, you're out.
09:39Really?
09:40But it's only been an hour.
09:42You in Alabama, fool.
09:44An hour's all you get for touching a child.
09:49Selling's a dangerous business, Rabbit.
09:52Killed the fruit brute, yummy mummy, even the cinnamonkey.
09:55I can handle it.
09:57Where's the stuff?
09:58Well, just follow my snout.
10:00It's never in doubt.
10:02Snout that big, it should know more than Einstein.
10:05Kill that mother f*****er!
10:29We'll just follow my snout.
10:35Wow.
10:36Do you have any idea how rich I'm going to be selling all this cocaine, sugar?
10:43I meant to say sugar.
10:46Sugar.
10:48Okay?
10:50Okay.
10:51Okay.
10:51I'm telling the bleeding boards will follow me around.
11:16And one little brother says, we're after your charms.
11:20So I says, forget about me blue diamonds.
11:24And worry about me blue balls, you whore.
11:28I never have any idea what you're saying.
11:36Bad news, boss.
11:37The Rice Boys are talking to the cops.
11:39Better to always talking.
11:41Okay, okay.
11:43I'll crink.
11:44I'll crinkle.
11:45I'll plop.
11:46The sticks rabbit made us sell the stuff.
11:50Uh, we only brought you in here because someone turned in your wallet.
11:59I must have lost it.
12:02Use the hollow point bullets.
12:10They're groovy.
12:17Their bones will stay crunchy even when soaked in blood.
12:21Ha ha ha!
12:22Don't shoot!
12:31I give up!
12:32He's giving up!
12:33Shoot him!
12:38Wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:41Oh.
12:44Finally.
12:46Stupid bunny.
12:47Sticks are intended for children.
12:50No!
12:52No!
13:14Fuck.
13:20Stupid monkey.