Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 12 Midnight Snack
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00:00It's Alive!
00:30Tonight's special guest star, Conan O'Brien.
00:39He's Randy, the oblivious pizza delivery guy.
00:44Here's your pizza, ma'am.
00:50Here's your pizza, ma'am.
00:51That'll be $18.44.
00:53I don't have any cash.
00:55Is there another way I can pay for it?
00:58Do you have a credit card?
01:02Isn't there another way?
01:05Traveler's checks?
01:07No, I mean...
01:11Debit card?
01:12We do the debit card now.
01:14Jeez, you sure are oblivious.
01:18It's Randy, the oblivious pizza delivery guy.
01:28He's about to crack.
01:33You've seen world's most one-sided fistfights caught on film.
01:38Now check it out, Mardi Gras style.
01:42We take to the streets of New Orleans for wild Mardi Gras fistfights that are more one-sided than...
01:49You gumbo-brains if only one-sided fistfights.
01:57These fistfights are outrageously one-sided.
02:01I guarantee!
02:04And the fistfights really get one-sided when Snoop Dogg makes the scene.
02:11Hey, y'all. Snippity-diggity.
02:16Order now!
02:18Your mother is so fat when her beeper goes off, people believe she's backing up.
02:24Your mother is...
02:26Oh, my!
02:28The Educational Wrestling Federation is live and on the air!
02:32And trust me, folks, it's gonna be one hell of a night!
02:36Buck McCoy here, back again with former U.S. Secretary of Education, Rod Page!
02:42Hopefully tonight's event will be intellectually stimulating, as well as...
02:46What's that? Something's happening in the back!
02:48Here comes Benjamin Franklin, and ladies and gentlemen, he does not look happy!
02:56Franklin played a vital role building support abroad for America's battle for independence.
03:01And pardon my French, but he also played a vital role in getting his ass kicked, courtesy of the Wright Brothers.
03:09After last week's Pearl Harbor job, Franklin has got to be hungry for revenge!
03:15I suppose y'all saw what the Wright Brothers did to old Ben Franklin last week.
03:21Well, if y'all think it's a bunch of bullcrap, give me a booyah!
03:26Booyah!
03:27And furthermore...
03:30Hit those damned Wright Brothers!
03:32Their first successful airplane flight took place in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
03:37You're damned Wright, Rod, those sneaky bastards!
03:39Like the wrong brother!
03:41Why, Franklin, it sure was fun taking your sorry eyes last week, and we want to do it again, tonight!
03:51And by the way, the match will start right now!
03:55They're doing it again!
03:57They're doing it again!
03:58Jump in Jesus on a pogo stick!
04:01The Wright Brothers are taking it to Benjamin Franklin again!
04:04It's Gandhi!
04:07I can't believe it!
04:08It's Gandhi!
04:09Gandhi's method of non-violent conflict resolution was ultimately what...
04:14You're damned straight!
04:15Mahatma's gonna resolve this conflict with a vengeance!
04:20Hellfire!
04:21Franklin's going up for the C-note!
04:23The C-note!
04:26Damn!
04:26Now that's educational!
04:29Mommy?
04:31What color are the boobies?
04:32Thanks!
04:36I can still see your sack.
04:39Welcome back to the 19th season of Oprah.
04:43Today, no dream is too big to fulfill.
04:48What can Oprah do for you?
04:50Me?
04:51Oh, oh my!
04:52I'd love a nice pastrami sandwich.
04:54Check under your chair!
05:00It's good.
05:02Everyone else, look under your chairs!
05:08Don't open them yet!
05:10Okay.
05:11Not yet!
05:14What is it?
05:14Can I...
05:15I don't know it.
05:16Now, open the boxes!
05:20They're keys to a new car!
05:23Everyone gets a new car!
05:32Okay, okay.
05:34Oprah's got a caller.
05:35What's your wish, sir?
05:37I would like more land for my people.
05:40Land we can be proud of.
05:41You want more land?
05:43How about the entire Louisiana Purchase?
05:51This will look great in my casino.
05:54You think that's something?
05:56No dream is too big.
05:59Look out, America!
06:00We're raising the dead!
06:02So you can see our loved ones again!
06:05All of you who have been laid to rest,
06:07I want you to rise up!
06:09The power of Oprah!
06:10The big O is coming at ya!
06:12We're almost out of time,
06:14but we can end the show
06:16with one more dream come true.
06:19Sally from North Dakota,
06:21what's your dream, little girl?
06:22I'd like Daddy to stop hurting Mommy.
06:32Grrr, what's that steering wheel be?
06:36Arr, it's driving me nuts!
06:39See you at the meeting!
06:40Yeah, see you there.
06:42Douche.
06:43Okay, bye!
07:00Okay, bye!
07:01Okay, bye!
07:13Hello?
07:15Hello, 911?
07:17I'm in a bathroom!
07:24Away!
07:43Dumpelstiltskin.
08:01A creature not of your world,
08:03but a user of its bathrooms.
08:06When finished,
08:07it leaves behind terror.
08:10Terror,
08:11and a basketball-sized
08:13chocolate mud baby
08:14from the Twilight Zone.
08:30Alright,
08:31let's take a look at
08:32Good Sweet Christ!
08:36You must find my client
08:38not guilty!
08:40Ladies and gentlemen,
08:43you hold the fate
08:44of this young man
08:45in your hands.
08:51Okay, y'all!
08:53The facts in this here case
08:54seem clear
08:55as a new
08:56forward windshield.
08:58Now,
08:58the kid's boss
08:59catches him
09:00stealing from the till.
09:02Well,
09:02the kid's gotta shut him up!
09:04No!
09:04No!
09:05No!
09:07Then,
09:09the kid
09:09ditches the bar.
09:14Guilty.
09:15Guilty.
09:15Like, totally guilty.
09:17Bark!
09:17So let's just vote
09:18this sucker guilty
09:19and hit the bar!
09:21Yee-haw!
09:23All in favor?
09:24Aye!
09:24All opposed?
09:26Nay.
09:27Bonus!
09:27The witness's testimony was totally unreliable.
09:31Isn't it true that your mother, sister, cousin, and aunt are all the same person?
09:41I believe the victim's mistress killed him.
09:44Miss Herring, what was the last conversation you had with the deceased?
09:49I told that greasy mechanic if he went back to his wife, I'd kill him.
09:54And did he go back to his wife?
09:56Yes.
09:57And did you kill him?
09:59Objection!
10:00Relevance!
10:01Sustained.
10:02Yeah!
10:03Then the 5-0 plant the DMA evidence.
10:07You can't trust the police or the type of police take my shoe shot box and beat me with it.
10:14My lordy!
10:17What?
10:18Every black man on the TV gots to be a possibitive role model?
10:23But the DNA evidence matched 13 out of 13 SDRs.
10:28The defendant's clearly guilty.
10:32Uh...
10:33You're a f***ing dog.
10:35Okay, so let's go over this again.
10:38And that's why we must find that young man not guilty.
10:46Fine, fine!
10:47How does everyone vote?
10:49Not guilty.
10:53Mr. Foreman, your verdict?
10:54Not guilty.
10:55Justice has been served.
10:58It's my belief that the mistress is guilty of this crime.
11:02What about the fact that Miss Herring was singing the national anthem at the World Series at the time of the murder?
11:08Uh...
11:10I told you I'd kill any man you loved if you wouldn't love me!
11:14Now I'll kill you, too!
11:16Oh, no!
11:17No!
11:18Sorry, pal.
11:20But you're one wrong I've just got a right!
11:23Wish I had fists!
11:28Jack Beckett, you're charged with double homicide.
11:41How do you plead?
11:42Not guilty, your honor.
11:43This is gonna be fun!
11:45Yee-haw!
11:47Oh, my God!
11:48He's got a gun!
11:50Nobody listened to me before.
11:52Jack must die!
11:54Jack!
11:55Jack, get him!
11:59Tune in next time, when every dog has its day...
12:04BOK!"
12:09BOK"?
12:13BOK!"
12:15BOK!
12:16BOK!
12:17pser you!?
12:18BOK一下!
12:19BOK!
12:20FUK!
12:21...
12:22....
12:23AULK, &
12:23AULK, &
12:23AULK,
12:24Stupid monkey.