Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 9 S&M Present
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TVTranscript
00:00I'll be right back.
00:30Matthew, time for dinner.
00:45I pledge allegiance, I pledge allegiance, I pledge allegiance to the United States of love.
00:57That was great, guys. Let's take five.
01:00Wow, it's just like old times.
01:02This comeback is going to be the bomb.
01:05I'm going to get a bottle of water. Do you dudes want any?
01:08Bring me a glass filled with one half cristal, one half beluga caviar.
01:13I don't think we have that.
01:16Wow. Justin's really changed, dude.
01:23The Yakuza!
01:25We warned you once in sync.
01:27Now we warn you again.
01:29We're to death!
01:34No!
01:37Oh, hold up!
01:39You shot me!
01:40Hey, they were out of beluga caviar, but they had some nice sevruga.
01:46Oh, no.
01:48Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
01:50We would not waste our bullets on a simple roadie.
01:54Roadie?
01:55I'm in the band.
01:58Oh, my brothers.
02:08I swear I will avenge you.
02:11Oh, but how?
02:17Yakuza Invitational Martial Arts Tournament.
02:21One week from today.
02:22How unlikely, but perfect.
02:29You can't enter that tournament without the proper skills, fat one.
02:34And will you train me, Mr. Miyagi?
02:37First of all, I'm Pat effin' Marita, you nutsack.
02:41Second of all, you're too old for the training.
02:45So was I, if you remember.
02:48Daniel-san, I thought I smelled failure.
02:53That toilet's not going to unplug itself.
03:00First lesson.
03:02Let's warm up with some stretches first.
03:04Kummer, you!
03:09Okay, let's set some ground rules here.
03:15I really don't think I'm learning anything.
03:18Oh, my God!
03:19I'm on fire!
03:20Ah!
03:21Ah!
03:22Ready?
03:24Begin.
03:24Totally awesome!
03:26Attack!
03:27Tubular!
03:28Radical!
03:29Awesome!
03:30Reaganomics!
03:31There's too many of them!
03:33Trust your instincts, fat one.
03:36Only one of these turtles is played by Corey Feltman.
03:40Trust your instincts, Corey Feltman.
03:43Trust your instincts, Corey Feltman.
03:46Pizza's radical!
03:48Master Splinter's way cool!
03:51Turtle power, dude!
03:52Clean, sober, back on television?
03:55Things are looking up for the Feltmeister.
03:58Hi-yay!
03:59Daniel-san, clean up on aisle five.
04:08There were 42 pressure points on the human body which result in death.
04:13I will show you 41.
04:15The 42nd I may someday need to use on you.
04:19My sp...
04:20Now, I must introduce Potsmaru to his gun.
04:26Farewell.
04:27Thanks for your help.
04:28Um...
04:29Good luck, fat one.
04:37You won't be by my side?
04:39The true test of a warrior is to go it alone.
04:44Besides, I got a dump broin that could choke a monkey.
04:48Can Joey survive the tournament?
04:51Will NSYNC be avenged?
04:53Does this look infected to you?
04:56Find out next time on Enter the Fat One.
04:59Pizza delivery.
05:05Is there any other way I could pay for this?
05:10I'll convene you.
05:11Oh!
05:11Yeah.
05:13I'll do wine style to you, sweetie.
05:16Pool guy!
05:17Come in!
05:18Take my hammy, cheesy goodness.
05:20I say ya!
05:22That's a fool!
05:23Slumber!
05:24The door was open, so I...
05:26Big!
05:27Wow!
05:28Damn!
05:29Snaking the grain!
05:30Yeah!
05:31Yeah, plunging!
05:33We're all hobbits!
05:34Thanks!
05:35Together!
05:36But seriously, that's $12.99 for that pizza.
05:43Damn.
05:45Jonathan is really tasty.
05:50Hey!
05:50Hey, madre de dios!
05:56Different.
05:56D...
05:59D...
05:59I...
05:59F...
06:03Oh!
06:03Oh!
06:05You blew it!
06:07Oh, hell no!
06:09Oh, no, she did!
06:10You stood there wrong!
06:12I did!
06:13Just step in, girl!
06:15Let's see him!
06:17They're gonna love you.
06:19Oh, big finish.
06:20What a twist!
06:31M9 in the pantry!
06:45Dude! Oh my god! I just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar!
06:54What a twist!
06:56We needed the sugar, because we're baking a cake for a fancy party!
07:02And you're all invited, shabba-ba-ma-family!
07:07Delightful! Let me just change into my good suit!
07:11Oh honey, your good suit is in the cleaners!
07:14What a twist!
07:16Shama Millenia family, meet our chef!
07:19I can't wait to serve you!
07:23Serve us? You mean, serve us for the main course! As in, eat us!
07:32Let's dance!
07:34What a twist!
07:42Yeah, yeah! One more! One more!
07:44Who didn't use a miter joint on this jack-in-the-box?
07:48No!
07:53Ah! Ow!
07:54Why?!
07:55And now, the thrilling conclusion!
08:00I'm Joey Fatone. I'm here to avenge the death of my bandmates.
08:06Yeah, yeah, yeah! Here's a sign-up sheet! You're about 14th in line!
08:09Also, we're gonna need a photocopier driver's license, there's soda in the green room, and some broken glass if you want to roll your hands and woo!
08:16Thanks!
08:17I can do this!
08:19I can do this!
08:21I can do this!
08:27Oh my god!
08:29It's...
08:30It's...
08:31Hong Kong Fooey!
08:33Number one super guy!
08:34Number one super guy!
08:37Ahhhh...
08:39Yah!
08:42Uncle!
08:51Ooh, look what I got here!
08:52Who's a gay boy?
08:53Who's a gay boy?
08:55Get it! Get it!
08:56Huh?
09:00Huh?
09:01Yeah, yeah!
09:03Oh no!
09:05Shit!
09:11Hey!
09:13Hey!
09:14Hey!
09:15Hey!
09:16Hey!
09:17Hey!
09:18Hey!
09:19Hey!
09:20Hey!
09:21Hey!
09:22Hey!
09:23Hey!
09:24Hey!
09:25Hey!
09:26Hey!
09:27Hey!
09:28Hey!
09:31Hey!
09:33Hey!
09:33Hey!
09:34Hey!
09:35Hey!
09:36Hey!
09:37Hey!
09:38Hey!
09:39Hey!
09:40Hey!
09:41Hey!
09:44Hey!
09:45Hey!
09:47Biggerent!
09:48große sind ciud at
09:51seren
09:52aussie
09:54enough
10:05britney spears but why would you kill nsync
10:11nsync no i killed ario speedwagon i fucking hate those guys
10:16actually really looks like i got some unfinished business with ario speedwagon
10:23beat it fat one you wait what my name is joey fatone you killed my bandmates
10:32prepare to die not so fast fat one meet my homegirl christina aguilera
10:40abril levine jessica simpson jessica simpson's sister i'm ashley
10:48the big kids are talking five chicks i think
10:56together we're more powerful than we ever were separately
11:01kind of like doing one big stadium tour instead of a bunch of stupid mall tours
11:05do you not shock
11:07i'm finished
11:13don't worry joey we'll help you all for one and one for all
11:19reaganomics of course together we're stronger than we ever were solo
11:25right justin well i all right
11:29i'm doing my thing
11:43don't you tear up my heart
11:48god should have spent a little more time on you
12:04yeah all right
12:26bye bye bye i pledge allegiance to the united states
12:36oh love nicely done fat one now your mind and the body truly in sync
12:48that's how y'all ended the show that joke sucked this whole episode fucking sucked y'all
13:00man i'm gonna kill joey how'd i get out of here it's hot in this box oh i hate you joey fatone
13:08only one of these turtles is played by folk or four four e clock glory fluke chorus leachman
13:37stupid monkey