Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 19 That Hurts Me
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TVTranscript
00:00It's alive!
00:30That better not be poo.
00:44That'll teach you to vote for Nader!
00:54What the hell?
00:58I got laid.
01:02I got laid.
01:04I got laid.
01:06What can I say?
01:08Nerzer.
01:10Late, late, late.
01:12L-A-Y-A-D.
01:14Late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late.
01:18Simon says...
01:20Go play in traffic.
01:22You know, movie producer Dean Devlin,
01:26I always felt bad about screwing millions of moviegoers
01:30out of their hard-earned money with that steaming pile of crap we made called Godzilla.
01:34I know, Roland Emmerich.
01:36We should totally remake it.
01:38A remake of a remake?
01:40Brilliant!
01:42The eggs!
01:46They're acting!
01:48Run!
01:50Run!
01:52Run!
02:06Run!
02:08Ah, man!
02:38We gave you jerks a hundred and fifty million dollars to remake Godzilla and you gave us a steaming pile of crap!
02:49Again!
02:53Yes!
02:55The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
03:01And spiders.
03:03Well, yes, and spiders.
03:06That goes without saying.
03:08And snakes!
03:09Yes, snakes too.
03:11And don't forget werewolves!
03:13There is no such thing!
03:15I had a werewolf!
03:17My mother saw one!
03:19Woo!
03:21Yeah!
03:22It's fun!
03:23Yeah!
03:24No!
03:25No!
03:26No!
03:27No!
03:28No!
03:29No!
03:30No!
03:31No!
03:32No!
03:33No!
03:34No!
03:35No!
03:36No!
03:37No!
03:38No!
03:39No!
03:40No!
03:41No!
03:42No!
03:43No!
03:44No!
03:45No!
03:46No!
03:47No!
03:48No!
03:49No!
03:50No!
03:51No!
03:52No!
03:53No!
03:54No!
03:55No!
03:56No!
03:57No!
03:58No!
03:59Oh, my God.
04:29Oh, my God.
04:59Oh, my God.
05:29That's right, folks.
05:33We've got a whole lot of 2005 vehicles that must be sold thanks to Crazy Davey's Chapter 11
05:4010 Restructuring.
05:41Yep, there go my wife and kids.
05:46I won't be seeing them again.
05:48Crazy Davey's circle in the bowl, folks.
05:51Hell, just bend Crazy Davey over the hood of this fine luxury sedan and cornhole until
05:57you're satisfied.
05:58And as a special bonus, if you find my brains on your windshield, you can have my dog.
06:06Well, better luck next time.
06:08Okay, so the only things we have to fear are spiders, snakes, werewolves, sharks, dying
06:20alone, zombies, clowns, heights, big dogs, robots with human brains, Johnson's wife, and fear
06:29itself.
06:30Man, my life sucks.
06:33I hate working at the stupid archery ring.
06:40Where am I?
06:42You're in purgatory, dog.
06:45Spin the wheel of reincarnation.
06:48Oh, boy, I hope I land on Keira Knightley's underwear.
06:54Everyone wishes for that one.
07:02Huggy time bear?
07:07Where am I?
07:10Holy f***ing asscrackers!
07:12Welcome!
07:12We're the Huggy Time Bears, and we shall call you Dougalock Bear.
07:20What the f***ing is a Huggy Time Bear?
07:22We spread peace and love with our special powers!
07:27Ah, f***ing asscrackers!
07:30Let's go spread joy to children!
07:33Oh, man, I wish I landed on Keira Knightley's underwear.
07:37Uh, please don't mention that around the children.
07:40I feel sad.
07:41Yeah, but at least we're not gay.
07:43Maybe we can help!
07:46The Huggy Time Bears!
07:48Get ready for some fun and love, everyone!
07:51Ah!
07:52Ah!
07:53Ah!
07:53Ah!
07:55Ah!
07:56Ah!
07:58What?
07:59His name was Shamrock Bear.
08:01He was obviously Irish and therefore drunk.
08:04Am I right or am I right?
08:06This is unforgivable.
08:08Bring out the gimp!
08:10No!
08:12No!
08:12No!
08:17No!
08:18Oh, my gosh, I've shot you.
08:19Keira Knightley?
08:21Shh, don't worry about a thing.
08:23The paramedics will be here soon.
08:25I was almost your underwear, you know.
08:31Ah, jerk ass!
08:32I got you, Timmy!
08:35I can't feel my arms and legs.
08:41Previously on Big Brother, a practical joke war resulted in hurt feelings.
08:47Oh!
08:49Ghostface's laundry debacle earned him the wrath of Freddy.
08:53Aw, where the hell's my sweater?
08:55Chill out.
08:56It's in the dryer.
08:58You fool!
08:59The label clearly says permanent press.
09:02It says whoever reaches the kitten first will win the golden power of veto.
09:19Competition is fierce, but it was Leatherface who stood victorious.
09:23As a result, it was Michael and Ghostface who found themselves on the block.
09:29Ow!
09:30Who will be evicted?
09:32Find out live tonight.
09:35If Ghostface got voted out, take it from Freddy.
09:38That would be a dream come true.
09:41Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
09:43You get it?
09:43Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
09:45A dream?
09:46Ha ha ha ha ha!
09:47I kill people in their nightmares, man.
09:49That's what I do.
09:49Last week, America voted online to decide which houseguest would get to call home on a T-Mobile
09:56cell phone.
09:57Tonight, we have the results.
10:00And the winner is...
10:02Ghostface!
10:04America made the right choice giving the call to Ghostface.
10:09Of course, I would have called my mom.
10:12Today's her birthday.
10:15I love you, mom.
10:17Hello?
10:17I see you making popcorn.
10:21Who is this?
10:22I saw the Charlie's Angels sequel.
10:24That was a piece of crap!
10:25I'm hanging on...
10:26Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
10:28Fighting boredom is the hardest part of living in the Big Brother house.
10:32In case you were wondering, the answer was the Da Vinci Code.
10:52It's time to decide which houseguest gets evicted.
10:57Michael?
10:57Ghostface?
10:58You may now plead your case.
11:00You know, I'm just trying to keep it real.
11:03And I will treasure the friendships I have made in this house my whole life.
11:09But if it's my time to go, hey, no hard feelings.
11:14I...
11:15Your turn, Michael.
11:16Stop that.
11:22Stop it.
11:23The votes have been cast, and the next houseguest evicted from Big Brother is...
11:29Michael.
11:30Michael Myers, they just kicked you out of the house.
11:49How do you feel?
11:50I feel randy, baby.
11:54Yeah!
11:57Waste world!
11:58Ow!
11:58Ow!
11:59What the fuck is happening, baby?
12:02Ow!
12:02Ow!
12:02Ow!
12:02Ow!
12:02Ow!
12:02Ow!
12:04Ow!
12:04Ow!
12:05Ow!
12:05Ow!
12:06Ow!
12:07Ow!
12:08Ow!
12:09Ow!
12:10Ow!
12:11Ow!
12:12Ow!
12:13Ow!
12:14Ow!
12:15Ow!
12:16Ow!
12:17Ow!
12:18Ow!
12:19Ow!
12:20Ow!
12:21Ow!
12:21Ow!
12:21Ow!
12:22Ow!
12:24Ow, ow, ow!
12:25Ow, ow, ow, ow.
12:26Stupid monkey.