Frasier Season 4 Episode 13 Four For The Sees Aw
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00:00Well, listeners, flu season is upon us again.
00:05As is customary, KACL is offering its employees and their families free flu shots.
00:12Now, in order to show the importance of getting a flu shot,
00:15I am going to put aside my lifelong fear of needles
00:18and be inoculated right here over the air when we come back.
00:25It's about here half an hour or I've got places to go.
00:29Oh, well, Dr. Clayman is on his way, Dad.
00:31Fraser, are you really afraid of needles?
00:33Oh, not really.
00:34No, I just say that to encourage people that really are.
00:37Well, they can use the help.
00:38You know, those needles they use are about this long,
00:41and if it hits a nerve when it's going in...
00:43Stop it, brother.
00:44Shots are perfectly harmless. You've got nothing to worry about.
00:48Oh, sure.
00:49You hear the occasional story about someone getting an air bubble in their vein,
00:54you know, the needle getting stuck in a bone and the tip breaking off.
00:59Oh, that's the exception.
01:01Oh, that's it. We're out of here.
01:04But what about my flu shot? I always get a flu shot.
01:07Well, you're not getting a flu shot today.
01:09You told me you'd drop me off at McGinty's.
01:11Now, I told Duke I'd meet him at 5 o'clock sharp,
01:14and he pouts if I'm not there on time.
01:16Sits there with his bottom lip stuck out,
01:19and eats all the Brazil nuts out of the bowl
01:21because he knows I like them.
01:22So, come on, let's go.
01:25It's nice to know that men in bars still settle the disputes the old-fashioned way.
01:30All right, Dr. Crank.
01:31Oh, that's quick.
01:32Sorry I'm late.
01:33My last pitch was a bleeder.
01:34Oh.
01:3815 seconds.
01:39Where are my manners?
01:42Perhaps you should get inoculated first.
01:45I already had my shot,
01:47but I could sure use a checkup.
01:51Go on.
01:52Oh, right.
01:54All right, folks, we're back.
01:57Joining us for this last minute of our show
01:59is Dr. Morris Clayman,
02:00who is going to give me my flu shot.
02:04But, you know, what's the rush?
02:06Perhaps we'd be interested in finding out
02:08what strains of flu you've isolated this year.
02:13Primarily Singapore, Rangoon, and Malay.
02:15Would you roll up your sleeve, please?
02:16And how do you suppose they traveled here?
02:20No idea.
02:21Roll up your sleeve?
02:22Could it have been a careless tourist?
02:25A baggage handler?
02:27A tainted walk?
02:28Dr. Crane, we're almost out of time.
02:31You do want to get that shot, don't you?
02:33Yes, yes.
02:35All right, first I'm just going to swab the area
02:37with a little alcohol,
02:39and then I'm going to give you the shot.
02:41There, that's done.
02:43Really?
02:45Oh, that didn't hurt at all.
02:48This is the newly immunized Dr. Frasier Crane
02:50signing off.
02:52No, no, no, that was just the alcohol.
02:54This is the needle.
03:08Oh.
03:09Hello.
03:10You're late?
03:11All the tables are taken.
03:13No, uh-uh.
03:13There's one right there.
03:14Bib's on that table.
03:15Ros, Nile was here first.
03:16No, but I'm meeting someone.
03:18Please, guys.
03:19So, who is it?
03:20Another one of your
03:21till dawn do us part relationships?
03:22No, Twerp.
03:26This is a guy who I think really has a chance.
03:28I can sense a lot of chemistry between us.
03:32Morris!
03:33Hi.
03:33Dear God!
03:35When did you two even get out of my sight?
03:37He blacked out for 30 seconds
03:39after he gave you the shot.
03:42Well, no one is budging.
03:43We could be here forever.
03:45Well, how's that?
03:47I suppose we...
03:48a good share of the table.
03:50There's a couple of seats available there.
03:52Oh, good Lord.
03:55You can't sit with strange women.
03:57Why not?
03:58We married strange women.
04:01Oh, no.
04:02Really, I'm not in the mood.
04:03You know, just try to relax.
04:05Do you good to do something spontaneous for a change?
04:07Come on.
04:08Yeah, I just...
04:08I just...
04:09I...
04:09I wouldn't know what to say.
04:11And besides, I'm a married man.
04:13Oh, Niles, please.
04:15Why don't you get rid of that tired old excuse
04:17your off-again, off-again relationship with Maris.
04:22Hello, ladies.
04:23Excuse me.
04:24Would you mind terribly if we joined you
04:27until another table opens up?
04:29Oh, please do.
04:30Oh, thank you so much.
04:32That's very kind.
04:33I'm Frasier, and this gentleman
04:36dusting for fingerprints
04:37is my brother, Niles.
04:41I'm Laura, and this is Beth.
04:44Oh, no.
04:45Laura?
04:46Yes, Niles.
04:47Niles.
04:49What do you two ladies do?
04:52Oh, you don't want to hear about it.
04:55Well, why don't we?
04:58It's just boring.
05:00To the guys, anyway.
05:01Their eyes just glaze over
05:03when the subject comes up.
05:05Oh, come on.
05:06Come on, we're not your average bozos
05:08off the street.
05:09Why don't you try us?
05:12We design kitchens.
05:17On the contrary,
05:18I am always ready to debate
05:20the merits of down-draft cooktops
05:22and ceramic tile back splashes.
05:24Whoa, whose little boy are you?
05:30Isn't just the mention
05:31of a double-bowl stainless-sealed sink
05:34with integral drain boards
05:36makes me hum like a sub-zero freezer?
05:41You know, I think the key
05:43to a good kitchen is comfort.
05:46Well, that's a whole current trend,
05:48a living room feel in the kitchen.
05:51Except, of course, with our father
05:52who favors a kitchen feel
05:53in the living room.
05:54That's funny.
06:01You're very witty.
06:06Oh, look, now the table's opened up.
06:08Oh, no, no, no, don't.
06:09Stay.
06:09Yeah, this is fun.
06:12Well, yes, it's foreign, isn't it?
06:14Well, I told you it would be.
06:18Why don't I go get us some coffees?
06:22You know, I, uh, I, uh...
06:26I'll help.
06:31I knew you'd panic.
06:31Um, well, I'm sorry, this is still a little new for me,
06:35and besides, those two are coming on to us.
06:38You know, they are very attractive, Niles.
06:41Maybe we should ask them out?
06:44On a date?
06:44We just met.
06:47Good point, Niles.
06:48Perhaps we should go out with them a few more times
06:50before we ask them on a date.
06:53I just mean it seems a little rash.
06:57Well, that's exactly why we should do it.
06:59We're being spontaneous today.
07:01Come on, do some good.
07:02I am enjoying Niles, and, uh...
07:05All right, I'll do it.
07:06Oh, but wait.
07:08We're making an assumption here.
07:10We could both be interested in the same woman.
07:12Good Lord, I hadn't thought of that.
07:15All right, I'll declare.
07:18I'm interested in Beth.
07:20Good.
07:20Good, we really dodged a bullet there.
07:24Which one's Beth?
07:25Oh, it's this one here.
07:26Great!
07:27Great.
07:32Here we are.
07:35Oh, Frasier, what a great apartment.
07:39It's just a little something I threw together.
07:41You know, an objet here, an antique.
07:46And there's the chair.
07:49Wow, he wasn't kidding.
07:53Oh, hi.
07:54Dad.
07:55Meet Beth Armstrong and Laura Paris.
07:58How are you?
07:59Please, have a seat.
08:01Sit down.
08:01Yeah, yeah.
08:02So, you've been out on a double date, huh?
08:06Well, sort of.
08:07We met this afternoon, and the next thing we knew, your sons were taking us out to dinner
08:12and then to the Seattle Rep.
08:14Oh, what'd you say?
08:15The man who came to dinner, it's about a bad-tempered invalid that moves into these people's house
08:20and just drives them crazy.
08:24Comedy?
08:25I used to think so.
08:26Well, Mr. Smart Alec, as a matter of fact, I was just about to do a favor for you.
08:34Sherry and I can't make it to the mountains this weekend, and the cabin's already paid
08:38for, so I thought maybe you'd like to use it.
08:40Oh, thank you, Dad.
08:41But Laura and I have plans to go to the symphony.
08:45Oh.
08:45How about you, Niles?
08:46Oh, Beth and I are attending an art opening.
08:49Well, if you hear of anybody.
08:51Nice meeting you, ladies.
08:52I'm really glad the boys brought you over.
08:55And it's been a long time since I said that in a minute.
09:00Well, Dad wasn't really thrilled with the women we married.
09:05Yes.
09:06Fortunately, my taste has improved a lot since then.
09:08I think your taste is fabulous.
09:11I'm referring to the brandy, of course.
09:14Mmm.
09:15Velvety texture.
09:16Great body.
09:18I'm not.
09:19Well, in honor of what happened today, a toast to winging it.
09:31What greater thrill is there than going down an unknown path, not quite sure where it will
09:38lead, just enjoying the way that path wins, and what it looks like, and where it goes.
09:49It goes off to, uh...
09:53After you should have left a trail of breadcrumbs before you started down that toast.
10:03You know, Fraser, I hate to see you miss a weekend in the country just to take me to the symphony.
10:08We can go next week.
10:09Wait a minute, I have a thought.
10:11The spirit of spontaneity has carried us this far.
10:14Why don't we postpone our plans and all go to the cabin together this weekend?
10:21I'd love that.
10:22Sounds like fun.
10:25Well, then, it's settled.
10:27Saturday morning, we ride the high country.
10:31Say, you two have been here five minutes.
10:34You haven't seen Fraser's kitchen yet.
10:36There's really nothing special about that.
10:37Well, let's let the professionals judge that.
10:39I am kind of curious to take a peek.
10:41No, a peek away.
10:42A peek away.
10:43Yes, someday.
10:44Someday, when you speak of his faux granite countertops, and you will, be kind.
10:52You are so funny.
10:54What's going on?
10:59Well, things are going rather fast.
11:02Just going out this evening was a big step, but something that involves packing a suitcase?
11:07I mean, given my situation, I can't...
11:08Niles, when are you going to stop letting Maris be an anchor on your social life?
11:12Oh, surely.
11:13That is the most tortured metaphor you've ever come up with.
11:15Maris, an anchor?
11:16Oh, please, Niles.
11:17I don't know.
11:17I don't know.
11:18I don't know.
11:19I don't know.
11:19I don't know.
11:19I don't know.
11:19I don't know.
11:19I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:20I don't know.
11:21I don't know.
11:21I don't know.
11:24You know, for the first time in your life, a perfectly lovely woman whom you don't even
11:29know has agreed to go away with you on a weekend.
11:33Isn't that exactly the kind of scenario you've always dreamed of?
11:39Yes.
11:44And if you pass it off, won't you regret it?
11:49Yes.
11:49Well, then, for once, in your timid, risk-free life, don't you think it's time you grabbed
12:00for that brass ring?
12:01It's a great kitchen, Frasier.
12:04You guys feel like firing up the cappuccino maker?
12:06Yes!
12:11Of course, if I have that much caffeine at this hour, it'll probably be...
12:14Yes!
12:15Yes!
12:15Yes!
12:19Oh, this place is perfect.
12:30Oh, Ken, don't you just love this air?
12:33Oh, I am going to sleep like a baby.
12:36Me too.
12:37I hope you two don't mind roughing it.
12:40There's no radio or television.
12:42I guess we'll just have to make our own entertainment.
12:46We should be able to manage that.
12:47Come on, let's go look around outside.
12:51We'll start the fire and we'll be right out.
12:53Yes!
12:56Well, I think things are going rather well, don't you?
13:00Yes, they are, and thank you for twisting my arm.
13:03You feel like a new man, do you?
13:04I feel like a new woman, and thank God I remember to pack one.
13:07No, I just wish I were sure that Beth and I were on the same page.
13:18Forgotten how to read all the signals.
13:19Well, now you don't need a decoder ring to understand the phrase, make our own entertainment.
13:25I know.
13:27And again, there was that other statement about sleeping like a baby.
13:32Exactly.
13:33They could be thinking platonic.
13:35Mm-hmm.
13:36The two of them in one room, sleeping like babies.
13:38Two of us in another, crying like babies.
13:44Well, we're all adults.
13:46I suppose we could just ask them what they have in mind.
13:49It would be the worst thing we could do.
13:50What if they're not interested?
13:51We'd all be embarrassed.
13:52We'd ruin the entire weekend.
13:54I know.
13:57Their luggage will tell us.
14:00We'll put my bag in with your dates, and your bag in with my dates.
14:06They'll see the mistake.
14:07Right.
14:07The way they correct it will tell us with whom they were planning to spend the night.
14:11Each other, or us.
14:13And either way, it'll all look like a simple misunderstanding.
14:15You've done this before!
14:17Yeah, well.
14:20Only on my honeymoon.
14:21Now hurry.
14:24Now, this is idiotic.
14:26We're both trained psychiatrists.
14:28Yes, and finally it's paying off.
14:32Oh, Frasier, this place is heaven.
14:35Why don't we open up a bottle of wine and watch the sun set?
14:40You know, the sun won't be setting for a little while yet.
14:44Just think how much more we'll enjoy it if we've got all our unpacking done first.
14:50That can wait.
14:52By the way, Beth and I were talking, and I don't know what you guys had in mind for tonight.
15:00And sorry if this sounds kind of forward, but we would like to avoid an awkward, uncomfortable situation by getting this out in the open right now.
15:08When we go out to dinner tonight, it's on us.
15:12Oh, well, that's awfully nice, isn't it?
15:21Yes.
15:22Speaking of awkwardness, you know...
15:28Look at that sunset.
15:30Are you as crazed by this as I am?
15:36It's driving me out of my mind.
15:37All right.
15:39I'm going to settle this once and for all now.
15:41Just follow my lead.
15:42Yes, Aunt Dad.
15:51It is lovely, isn't it?
15:53Huh.
15:57It's, uh...
15:58Magnificent.
16:00I'm feeling so hot, huh?
16:28What'd the doctor say?
16:31He says I've got...
16:32Oh, what was that medical term he used?
16:36Oh, I remember.
16:37Flu.
16:41God, I'm really sorry I didn't let you get that flu shot at you.
16:46Is there anything at all that I can do for you?
16:49Well, when I was a little girl and got sick,
16:53Grammy Moon used to read me to sleep.
16:56It was a great comfort.
16:57Oh.
16:58Is this what you're reading?
16:59Uh-huh.
17:01The Rose and the Rapier.
17:04Well, if you're not in the mood...
17:06You don't have to.
17:17No, no, I'll do it.
17:19The bookmark's where I left off.
17:21All right.
17:24Okay.
17:25With a gasp of dismay,
17:29she ran to him,
17:31her amethyst eyes wide with alarm.
17:34You fool, she hissed.
17:38Suppose someone saw you.
17:40The Duke's men are everywhere.
17:44This isn't so bad.
17:45I told you.
17:48You fool, she whispered again.
17:51You sweet, brave, wonderful fool.
17:55I should have died had you not found my bedchamber.
17:59Oh, jeez.
18:00Then she was in his arms
18:07and all her qualms forgotten
18:10as she
18:11tore his tunic asunder
18:20and
18:21thrust her
18:24eager lips
18:25against the sinews
18:28of his naked chest.
18:35The next morning...
18:37You left an outer section.
18:42Okay, okay.
18:44As his brazen fingers
18:50peeled the silken fabric
18:52from her
18:53heaving
18:54bosom,
19:03he beheld
19:05her quivering
19:06alabaster mounds.
19:14At that moment,
19:17she felt
19:18the proof
19:18of his
19:19rampant passion
19:21against
19:22her milky thighs.
19:25His
19:27almost
19:28godlike
19:29beauty
19:30was
19:33marred
19:33only
19:35by the fact
19:37that he was
19:39cross-eyed
19:41three feet tall
19:44and had
19:44breath
19:45like
19:46owl
19:46droppings.
19:54Is there anything
19:55more relaxing
19:55than just
19:56lazing by a fire
19:57with a good
19:57glass of wine?
19:59Nothing I know of.
20:01You two
20:01must be relaxed
20:02sitting there
20:03so calmly
20:04when there's
20:04still all that
20:06unpacking
20:06to do.
20:11Miles,
20:12we didn't
20:13bring that much.
20:14Yeah,
20:14we didn't think
20:15we'd need
20:15too many clothes
20:16this weekend.
20:20Well,
20:21I hate
20:21to break
20:22things up,
20:22but I'm
20:23getting a little
20:23sleepy,
20:24so I'm
20:24going to get
20:25ready for bed.
20:26Yeah,
20:26it's getting
20:27kind of late.
20:28You finished
20:29with that?
20:29Oh,
20:30yes,
20:30yes.
20:35All right.
20:36I can't
20:38take this
20:38anymore.
20:39These women
20:40are as
20:40inscrutable
20:41as
20:41sphinxes.
20:42Yes,
20:43Mr.
20:43God,
20:43they're
20:43going to send
20:44us the most
20:44veiled,
20:45cloaked,
20:46cryptic
20:46messages.
20:48Can't they
20:48just give us
20:48one clear
20:49signal?
20:50Well,
20:50I'm off to bed.
20:52Niles,
20:52are you coming?
20:53Come on.
21:01Curse these
21:01infernal riddles.
21:03Niles!
21:03So she
21:09really said
21:10what I
21:10thought she
21:10said?
21:11Yes,
21:11go!
21:13Suitcase,
21:14suitcase.
21:17There you
21:18are.
21:20Sleep well.
21:21Oh,
21:21you too.
21:28What are
21:28you doing?
21:29Oh,
21:29never mind.
21:32Yes.
21:33Is Mrs.
21:33Crane there?
21:34Yes,
21:35I'll hold.
21:35What is this?
21:36Some sort
21:36of weird,
21:37kinky foreplay?
21:41I'm starting
21:42to feel guilty
21:42about this.
21:43Ow!
21:44Well,
21:44I'm sorry,
21:45I just need
21:46to clarify
21:46the ground
21:47rules of
21:47Maris
21:48and my
21:48separation.
21:49Oh,
21:49fine.
21:49Fine,
21:50I think
21:50you may
21:50look back
21:50on this
21:51one day
21:51as your
21:51darkest
21:52hour,
21:53but you
21:54know what
21:54you want
21:54to.
21:57Yes,
21:57Maris,
21:58it occurred
22:00to me,
22:00you know,
22:01we never
22:03laid out
22:04the rules
22:04about our
22:05dating other
22:06people and
22:06what we
22:06could and
22:07couldn't.
22:07Niles,
22:08what are you
22:08doing?
22:09Coming!
22:12Well,
22:13no,
22:13here's the
22:14thing.
22:14I know
22:15that we're
22:16allowed to
22:17see other
22:17people.
22:18My question
22:19is,
22:20how much
22:21of them
22:21are we
22:22allowed to
22:22see?
22:34I'm
22:34sorry,
22:34what?
22:37Oh,
22:37really?
22:38Oh,
22:38well,
22:39that's
22:39wonderful,
22:40that's all
22:41I needed
22:41to know.
22:50Yes?
22:51You were
22:52wrong.
22:53Maris says
22:54she doesn't
22:54mind at
22:55all.
22:55Oh,
22:56well,
22:57there,
22:57off you
22:59go.
23:02The
23:03rebels
23:03begin.
23:04what?
23:16What?
23:16What? Why doesn't Maris mind at all?
23:34What's going on?
23:35Oh, darling, just a second. It's not.
23:38I'll be a moment.
23:41Why do you care?
23:42Well, because she could have taken a lover herself, and this is her way of alleviating her guilt.
23:48Okay, now, so what do you want to do?
23:49You want to stew over that all night?
23:51Let her have all the fun?
23:52Well, no.
23:53No, of course not.
23:55Well, off you go.
24:12Niles?
24:23Uh, momentito.
24:27Hello.
24:29Yes, Maris.
24:31Oh, I see, but...
24:34All right.
24:35Yes.
24:46Hey, sir.
24:48I'll just be a second.
24:50She's changed her mind.
24:52She doesn't want me to go through with it.
24:54Do you realize what's happening here?
24:56Yes.
24:57Your ex-wife is ruining my sex life.
25:00Get me.
25:01Oh, could I...
25:06What are you doing?
25:13What are you doing?
25:16What if she's changed her mind again?
25:18How am I supposed to know what to think?
25:19Well, I'm going to say this just one last time.
25:21Oh.
25:22This weekend is not about thinking, it's about doing.
25:26Doing something that the crane boys haven't done for a very, very long time.
25:34For once, in our miserable, sex-starved lives,
25:39can't we do something pleasurable without thinking it to death?
25:44Don't think about today.
25:45Don't think about what's right.
25:46Don't even think of them as Laura and Beth for tonight.
25:50They are just two live, breathing, available female bodies who want us.
25:58Think again.
25:59Think again.
25:59Do you remember which snowbank you threw my phone into?
26:22Oh, I think I could hit it again.
26:25Frasier?
26:25Frasier?
26:26Frasier!
26:26Frasier!
26:29Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling
26:36Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:39Quite stylish
26:41And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:45Well, maybe
26:45But I got you pegged
26:48Ha, ha, ha, ha
26:50But I don't know what to do
26:52With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:56They're calling again
26:59Good night Seattle, we love you