Frasier Season 10 Episode 23 Analyzed Kiss
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00:00Well, I think we got time for one last caller.
00:03Ross, who've we got?
00:04Mm-hmm.
00:07Mm-hmm.
00:14Well, I suppose I'll be fielding this last one myself.
00:17Let's try line two.
00:19Go ahead, caller. Your name and your problem, please.
00:22Yes, sir. My name's Arnie.
00:24And I'm real angry at my dog.
00:30Okay, Arnie, very often when people have feelings towards their pets,
00:35it often reflects feelings they have about themselves and their place in society.
00:40So tell me, why are you angry at your dog?
00:45Well, he keeps telling me to take off my foil helmet.
00:50You hold on, Arnie.
01:00Someone will come on the line with the number of an expert in this sort of situation.
01:07Let's try line four.
01:12Yes, of course I'm interested. I'll fax my resume right over.
01:17Well, the news is up next, followed by the market update with Julia Wilcox.
01:27That's it for me today.
01:29This is Dr. Fraser Crane saying good day and good mental health.
01:33Another great show, Doc.
01:37Did you even listen?
01:39You don't have to eat every Big Mac to know it's a delicious hamburger sandwich.
01:43Gosh, what's going on?
01:47I'm sorry, but they want to interview me for the program director job at KPXY.
01:52Well, that's great, but I didn't even know you were looking.
01:56I wasn't. They just called me out of the blue.
01:59I'm actually shocked because I have very limited experience in management.
02:03But, well, Kenny's in management. How hard can it be?
02:06Hey, it's not that easy.
02:10I know it looks like a monkey can do my job, but it can't.
02:14True story.
02:18Well, gosh, Ross, I'm going to say I've got sort of mixed feelings about this.
02:23I mean, I couldn't be happier they're finally getting the recognition you deserve, but I'm going to miss you.
02:29Well, let's wait till there's a real offer before we break out the Kleenex and champagne.
02:36Well, Ross, Kenny told me about your job interview. Good luck.
02:41Oh, I get it. It'll be good luck because if I get the job, I'll be gone.
02:47No, it sounds like a good position for you.
02:51Right, because I get into a lot of sexual positions with a lot of guys.
02:57I'm saying congratulations.
03:01I'm saying congratulations.
03:04Oh, thank you.
03:08What's her problem?
03:15Well, you're being uncharacteristically decent today. Are you all right?
03:20I'm fine.
03:23All right, I might as well tell you before he does.
03:26Avery and I broke up.
03:28Oh, gosh. What happened?
03:32I got tired of listening to him promise he'd leave his wife.
03:38I'm sorry. I realize you must be going through.
03:42Oh, I don't need your sympathy. OK, I'm not one of your pathetic code three wackadoos.
03:48Just trying to help. No need to insult my callers.
03:53The foil helmet guy says his dog needs to speak to you.
04:09Oh, excuse me. Hi, dear.
04:12Hello. Gosh, I've never seen this place so crowded. What's the occasion?
04:15It's woman's day off. Apparently there was a mass email.
04:21So is Niles going to be joining us?
04:23No, he's taking your father to the shooting range.
04:26Oh, yes, yes, of course. I'd forgotten. He asked me to take him.
04:29But then I suggested that when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of Niles's caliber.
04:38I'm in rare form today.
04:42You should see this place when they know you're not coming.
04:47No, Avery, two thirds of the work on that program is mine.
04:53Well, I don't have to prove it. It's a fact.
04:57Oh, oh, yeah.
05:00Well, I should have expected as much from a man who wears leopard print bikini briefs.
05:06Avery McManus wears shiny acetate man panties.
05:17Excuse me.
05:22Is everything OK?
05:26No. Now that I've dumped your bastard accountant, he's trying to cut me out of our software program.
05:34Software program?
05:36We, mostly me, developed a proprietary method for analyzing price volume momentum.
05:43I call it vector scaling that can quantify the likelihood of longer term trends.
05:48Do you realize what that means?
05:52It's good.
05:55That program is my baby. I've been working on it for months.
05:59I think your bastard accountant has been using me all along.
06:04Thanks for setting us up.
06:06I did no such thing.
06:07You know what I ought to do?
06:09I ought to go down to Liz's office, demand my files, and then trash them.
06:13All right, just a second. Just a second. Just sit down.
06:16Sit down, please.
06:19Take a moment to calm down before you make any rash decisions.
06:24In a few hours, I'm leaving town for a week.
06:26There's no way I'm leaving your bastard accountant in control of those files.
06:31All right. Well, if you insist, then perhaps I should go with you.
06:35Maybe I can help facilitate things.
06:37Why? What's in it for you?
06:39Nothing.
06:41Surely you can conceive of the possibility that someone might want to just do something nice for you.
06:47You and Avery are in this together, aren't you?
06:49Of course not.
06:51You're not being rational.
06:53Perhaps Avery is just holding your program hostage because he feels hurt.
06:59Perhaps this is his clumsy way of trying to initiate a dialogue.
07:05You really do try to see the best in everyone, don't you?
07:09Yes, I do.
07:12So what do you see when you look at me?
07:19Well, I see a woman who's been hurt.
07:26Not once, but many times.
07:29A woman who finds it so difficult to trust someone that she won't allow herself to be vulnerable.
07:36A woman whose eyes are going to get stuck if she keeps rolling them like that.
07:59Now look at that grouping.
08:02Hey, Dad, you about ready to go?
08:05I guess I still got the touch.
08:08Hey, Niles, you ought to give it a try.
08:11Thanks, Dad. You know how I feel about handguns. They breed violence.
08:15Oh, come on. This is just simple target shooting, that's all.
08:26Here's one dirtbag isn't going to be selling crack at any schoolyards anytime soon.
08:36You should listen to the man.
08:39Shooting's a great sport.
08:41Red Brewer. And these clowns here are Mitch and Wayne.
08:45Hello.
08:46Wayne.
08:47Mitch.
08:48I am Niles Crane. This is my father, Martin Crane.
08:51Oh, hi. How you doing, guys?
08:53Listen, now.
08:54Let me show you how to do this.
08:55I think you'll enjoy it.
08:56Oh, it's pretty simple.
08:58You just take a solid stance.
09:01Hold the grip firmly.
09:03Steady your gun hand with your other.
09:05Fingers to fingers, thumbs to thumbs.
09:07Focus on the front sight and squeeze the trigger.
09:12Okay. You try.
09:15Oh, you know, no offense, but I just, I'm not real comfortable with guns.
09:20You know, Mitch used to be that way, too.
09:22Yeah. The only weapon I could go near was a bow and arrow.
09:27I, uh, I got an archery badge at day camp.
09:32This is like archery, but safer.
09:35The weapon's more stable and you're in a controlled environment.
09:38Go on. Give it a try.
09:40Well, I, just, I'll do one little one.
09:43Okay.
09:44Just remember.
09:45Stance, grip, aim, relax, shoot.
09:50Okay.
09:51Stance, grip, aim, relax.
10:01Did I do it?
10:02Hey, you not only did it, you hit the target.
10:05See? Sixth ring out.
10:08Look at the kid here, hit the target his first time.
10:11Not bad, kid.
10:12Way to go, kid.
10:13That's my kid.
10:15That was, uh, that was a unique experience.
10:17I'm sure I'll dine out on that story for months.
10:20Don't quit now, go again.
10:22But remember, this time, squeeze the trigger, don't pull.
10:26Okay.
10:28Squeeze.
10:35Wow, you're pretty good at this.
10:38Kids are natural, am I right?
10:40Yeah.
10:41Can I go again?
10:42Yeah.
10:45Excuse me.
10:59What took you so long?
11:00I was looking for street parking.
11:02Do you have any idea how much this garage charges?
11:08Avery's not here.
11:09Oh, great.
11:10It cost me $350 to find that out.
11:12No, it's good.
11:14It's a lot easier for me to get my program back.
11:16What do you mean?
11:17I know his keypad code.
11:18What, what, what, what, what?
11:20Then he's breaking and entering.
11:21Oh, if you're so scared, why don't you just leave?
11:23Well, I, I'm not scared.
11:25I, I, wait.
11:29I'll have you know I've had my fair share of escapades.
11:32Back in med school, I once dressed a cadaver in cap and gown in...
11:35Oh, here's my program.
11:37Okay, good.
11:38Now, just in case he backed it up,
11:40I am going to delete everything from his hard drive.
11:43Julia, I, I, I beg you to rethink this.
11:46I realize you're angry at Avery, but...
11:48I'm not feeling anger.
11:49Just the peace that comes with knowing that Avery will be royally screwed by me.
11:57There's somebody at the door.
12:11It's the cleaning woman.
12:13I thought so.
12:14I've hidden from her before.
12:18Julia, there's still time to end this.
12:21Shh.
12:22Look, you know that what you're doing is wrong.
12:25You should just get out now before more harm is done.
12:29Will you shut up?
12:31It's pointless to hide in the closet if the people outside can hear you.
12:35You're gonna get caught.
12:37Because you won't.
12:39Because you won't shut up.
12:42It's never too late to do the right thing.
12:46No matter how low someone else sinks, joining in there does not make things better.
13:09What was that?
13:21What?
13:23You kissed me.
13:25I was trying to shut you up.
13:27Oh, no.
13:29I've been kissed to shut me up before.
13:31This was not that.
13:35Got it.
13:36All files deleted.
13:39You know, that didn't make me feel as good as I thought.
13:42That's because you know you did the wrong thing.
13:50That's better.
13:59Well, it doesn't look like I'll be leaving KACL anytime soon.
14:04Coffee to go, please.
14:06So, dear Lord, what happened, Rob?
14:10Turns out the person who's interviewing me is a guy I slept with.
14:18What are the odds?
14:24It was ten years ago at a convention in Cancun.
14:28We were all hammered.
14:30I'm surprised you even remember it.
14:32Well, it's hard to forget when you wake up with a name tag on your pillow that says,
14:36Hola, my name is Woody Wiswell.
14:48So, what's the problem?
14:50There's just something weird about it.
14:52I don't know, maybe I'm just freaking myself out because I'm not sure I'm ready for this job yet.
14:57Of course you are, Rob.
14:59I mean, come on, don't doubt yourself.
15:01They're the ones that called you, right?
15:03You go down there, you get that job.
15:05You're going to make a great program director.
15:08You really think I will?
15:10Of course I do.
15:12Even though I wish you could stay with me forever.
15:19I'm going to miss you so much, Rose.
15:22Oh, stop it.
15:24I don't even have the job yet.
15:25You're going to jinx it.
15:28Listen, I better go and get my presentation together so I can impress Woody Wiswell.
15:36Seems to me you've impressed him already.
15:44Julian.
15:46Can I have a latte to go, please?
15:48Listen, Julian, Julian.
15:50I've been dying to talk to you all week about what happened at Avery's office.
15:53Obviously something is going on and I have several hypotheses.
16:00It could be displaced passion.
16:02Frustration from a failed relationship.
16:05Or an adrenaline-induced action as a result of the stress we were both suffering from while being locked up.
16:11Oh, Frasier, for once in your life, would you please shut up?
16:19Hey, nice Frasier.
16:21Fras, you look a little down.
16:23Nothing okay.
16:24Two coffees, please.
16:26Dad, if you had any perspicacity whatsoever, you would know that this expression is merely ruminative perplexity.
16:34My bad.
16:37It's nothing serious.
16:39I'll work it out.
16:41You know where I like to work things out?
16:43The shooting range.
16:46Good Lord, Niles, are you still going down there?
16:48I thought you hated guns.
16:50Believe me, I never expected I'd like it as much as I do.
16:53But when you're in that booth focused on precision, accuracy, it's not dissimilar to a kind of meditation.
17:01Wouldn't you agree, Dad?
17:02I just like to shoot stuff, son.
17:06Fair enough.
17:07You should join us.
17:09There's a great bunch of guys I shoot with.
17:11I think you'd like them.
17:12Well, I'm not sure I'd fit in with a bunch of trigger-happy gun nuts.
17:17Now, don't stereotype them.
17:19These are decent family men who enjoy marksmanship.
17:22It's a good group we've got.
17:23Dad and I are going down this afternoon.
17:25No, I don't think we're going to come today, Don.
17:27Well, it's Mitch's birthday.
17:31Well, I usually go shooting twice a year or so.
17:34And after this week, I've had my fill.
17:38I'm still going.
17:39My shooting's getting better and better.
17:41Oh, plus, the gun show's in town and the guys are bringing me passes.
17:46A gun show?
17:48What's next, square dancing?
17:53Maybe.
17:55This country was built by gun-toting square dancers.
18:05I really appreciate you bringing me in for this interview.
18:09I've been listening to your station for a while,
18:11and I prepared a little presentation that I think will show you what I can bring to the KPXY family.
18:18Oh, that's not necessary.
18:20I mean, this is just a formality.
18:23Trust me, I know what you can do.
18:32Really?
18:33Yeah, I already told the guys about you.
18:41What exactly did you tell them?
18:44You know, how incredible you are.
18:49Okay, look, I think there's something that needs to be said here.
18:53Why don't we just get it all out in the open?
18:56Yes, we slept together in Cancun, but I don't want that to affect the job.
19:01I mean, it was ten years ago.
19:03What are you talking about?
19:05Look, I think you have me mistaken for someone else.
19:12And I think I would remember a name like Woody Wiswell.
19:16I mean, seriously.
19:18Who's named Woody Wiswell?
19:20Yeah, well, just me and my dad.
19:33Darling, I just don't think you need an ankle holster when you don't even own a gun.
19:41Well, first of all, who says it's for me, miss I-never-surprise-you-anymore?
19:47And second of all, I'm thinking I might own a gun soon.
19:51No, you won't.
19:52No, no, don't worry.
19:54I would keep the gun in a locker at the shooting range.
19:57I would never have a gun in the same house as your mother.
20:04Now they're saying Daisy Duke may not get here.
20:09Hey.
20:10Hey, how's it going, kid?
20:12Hey, you guys, how are you?
20:14Oh, listen, I want you to meet my wife, Daphne.
20:17Daphne, this is Red and Wayne and Mitch.
20:19These are the guys I was telling you about.
20:21Nice to meet you.
20:22Good to know you.
20:23Listen, kid, we've been talking it over, and since we get along so well at the club,
20:28we'd like to invite you down to our compound in Idaho for a weekend.
20:33A compound?
20:36It's just like the Kennedys.
20:41That sounds smashing.
20:43That's the spirit.
20:44See, I told you.
20:46Hey, look, you're good at math, right?
20:48Come help me guess how many shells are in that jar so I can win the ATV.
20:52Oh, excuse me, what kind of TV?
20:56Nice to meet you, ma'am.
20:58Oh, Red, hold on a second.
21:00Just what kind of place do you guys have in Idaho?
21:03Around the middle of the compound in the wilderness.
21:06Free country where we live by the true constitution.
21:14They're those militia people.
21:17You fix this now.
21:20This is fun, huh?
21:22Uh, son...
21:23What your father means is you shouldn't be friends with these people.
21:27Yeah, these are not your kind of guys.
21:30Why not?
21:31Well, let's just go, and we'll talk about it in the car.
21:33Oh, I can't believe you two.
21:36You're always telling me my friends are too artsy and too snooty.
21:40Now I finally have friends who are regular guys, and you don't like them either?
21:43Well, I'm having a good time, and I'm enjoying being a regular guy myself.
21:47Niles, we think they want to overthrow the government.
21:53That's what you say about public television.
21:57Now if you'll excuse me.
21:59Hey, guys, what you doing?
22:01We're chipping in for this gas power generator.
22:04We're going to need it when it comes time for the new world order.
22:07Well, that sounds great.
22:09Excuse me just a second.
22:10Okay, they're militia.
22:11Go, go, go, go, go, go.
22:17I just don't understand how this sort of thing can happen.
22:22Don't you look at faces?
22:28It was a long time ago.
22:30It was dark.
22:32And get off my case, because it doesn't matter anyway.
22:35I got the job!
22:37Oh, congratulations.
22:39I'm so proud of you.
22:40Now can I tell you how much I'm going to miss you?
22:42Yes.
22:46It is going to be sad to leave the station.
22:49It's not like I'm leaving town, are you sure?
22:51I know, I know.
22:54I'll see you.
22:59See you, Roth.
23:00Bye.
23:05Julia?
23:06Julia!
23:07Julia!
23:08All right.
23:14Now listen, you can try to avoid me all you want,
23:18you can try to avoid me all you like,
23:20we are going to talk this thing out.
23:22Fine, fine.
23:24Anything to get you off my back.
23:29I was looking at you in the closet
23:32and thinking how you always try to do the right thing,
23:35and I felt a rush of affection for you.
23:41Call me cynical, but I've come to accept
23:44that most people live by the rule of screw or be screwed,
23:47but to see you and how much you care and really mean it,
23:53I, well, it's endearing.
23:56Irritating, but endearing.
24:00Well, you know, I am flattered,
24:03but there are a lot of genuine people out there.
24:07It's just that for whatever reason,
24:09fear, anger, hurt,
24:12they're afraid to show it.
24:23Oh, it's just like the feeling you get
24:25when you see a cute teddy bear in the store
24:27and you want to hug it until its head pops off.
24:34Could I possibly irritate you over dinner some night?
24:39Well, if anyone could, it'd be you.
24:43Take your time.
24:45Work things out. I'm not going anywhere.
24:48I realize that you're in a vulnerable place right now and that...
24:53Oh, I recognize that one. That was to shut me up.
24:57Yeah.
25:00Maybe Thursday.
25:09Yeah.
25:18Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:20tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:24Quite stylish.
25:26And maybe I seem a bit confused.
25:29Well, maybe.
25:30But I got you pegged.
25:35But I don't know what to do
25:37with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:42They're calling again.
25:45Fraser has left the building.