Frasier Season 3 Episode 16 Look Before You L Eap
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00:01Hey, Daphne! You seen Eddie?
00:04No, I haven't.
00:05This doesn't feel right to start the day without him licking me awake.
00:09Well, don't look at me.
00:14Morning, old Daphne, I got treats.
00:17What the hell are you doing with him?
00:19He went for a walk. I'm talking to Eddie.
00:22I saw what a beautiful day it was today. I headed for the park.
00:33Of course, the only people in the park this hour of the morning without dogs are winos
00:37and that guy in the harem pants who washes his hair in the fountain.
00:39He says hello, by the way.
00:43It's sort of nice out, isn't it?
00:45Sort of nice, my God? Haven't you people noticed this?
00:49It's incredible. Dad, you should feel this. It's 80 degrees outside.
00:53It's the middle of February.
00:55Oh, it is beautiful.
00:58And in the middle of such a terrible winter.
01:01Oh, I love nature's little aberrations.
01:04Warm days in winter, four-leaf clovers, Australians.
01:11Yes, it is glorious.
01:12It defies you not to take a moment to acknowledge the power that created it.
01:16Thank you, global warming.
01:19Hey, Frase, you can't get your guy down at the liquor store
01:24because I'm a bottle of scotch from my buddy Jimmy in Montana?
01:27Sure, Dad. What's the occasion?
01:29Today's his 16th birthday.
01:31Oh, well, then you want to throw in a hooker, too, won't you?
01:36No, don't you get it? It's February 29th.
01:39Hmm.
01:40It's a leap year.
01:41Right.
01:42He only gets a birthday every four years.
01:43I get it, Dad.
01:44He's really 64.
01:45I can do the man.
01:48He's having a big shindig tonight.
01:50A lot of guys from the force fly in for it.
01:53Everybody drinks a lot of beer, and then they have a contest to see who's got the biggest scar.
01:59You know, this year I had a real good chance of winning it.
02:02Now the shark bait O'Reilly's finally died.
02:04So, why aren't you going?
02:13Yeah, Dad, you should go.
02:15Oh, Montana's too far away.
02:17No, Dad, this birthday only comes around once every four years.
02:20As a matter of fact, this day only comes around once every four years.
02:23You know, it's like a free day, a gift.
02:27We should do something special, be bold.
02:31It's leap year, take a leap.
02:33You know, I was just about to say the same thing to you.
02:40Your son's right.
02:42You shouldn't be afraid to shake up your routine a little bit.
02:45Hey, I don't see you taking any big leaps today.
02:48If there was something I wanted to do, I would do it.
02:52Well, you're always whining about wanting to change your hair.
02:55I don't whine.
02:57I'm so sick of me hair.
03:01Do you think I should catch a cut like Princess Di?
03:05Ooh, do you think that'd make me cheeks look too fat?
03:10That reminds me of the craziest thing me Grammy Moon used to say.
03:17I'll pay for the damn haircut if you start yakking and just do it.
03:21Yes.
03:22Well, I'll pay for you to go to Montana.
03:25It's not the one next to New Hampshire, is he?
03:28No.
03:29And Dad can pay for his own trip.
03:31All right, then.
03:32And I can pay for my own haircut.
03:34All right, Dad.
03:35Back in your corridor.
03:36Are you up to the leap year challenge?
03:39No.
03:40No.
03:41Dad.
03:42Jimmy's already 16.
03:44How many more birthdays is he going to have?
03:47You know, I would kind of hate not being there when Jimmy brings out the big ham.
03:55All right.
03:56What the hell?
03:57I'll go.
03:58I'll call the airlines after breakfast.
03:59Thanks the spirit.
04:00Hey, what's your big leap year challenge?
04:01Have you forgotten?
04:02I'm singing buttons and balls tonight at the PBS pledge drive.
04:03You've sung that same stupid song for the last three years.
04:04Yes, but I'm doing something remarkably fresh and different with it this year.
04:06You're just blowing smoke, aren't you?
04:07Like a fifty-six rambler.
04:08Good morning, Niles.
04:09Good?
04:10It's glorious.
04:11Heaven sent.
04:12And you know why?
04:13Maris called.
04:14She wants to get together with me this evening.
04:15Oh, Niles, that's wonderful news.
04:16It's high time you were met.
04:17It's high time you were met.
04:18It's high time you were met.
04:19What's your big leap year challenge?
04:20What's your big leap year challenge?
04:21Have you forgotten?
04:22I'm singing buttons and balls tonight at the PBS pledge drive.
04:24You've sung that same stupid song for the last three years.
04:25Yes, but I'm doing something remarkably fresh and different with it this year.
04:27You're just blowing smoke, aren't you?
04:29Like a fifty-six rambler.
04:30Good morning, Niles.
04:31Good?
04:36I sat down and talked through your problems.
04:38She doesn't want to talk.
04:39When she says get together, she means in the, you wear the creme fraiche, I'll lick
04:43it off sense.
04:48She's cleared her schedule from 7 till 7.30.
04:51That means foreplay and cuddling.
04:55You know, Niles, remember when you were a kid and your mother and I wouldn't discuss
04:59the Cuban Missile Crisis in front of you because we knew it would give you bad dreams?
05:04It's a two-way street.
05:15Breakfast, Dr. Crane?
05:16Uh, yes.
05:17Thank you, Daphne.
05:18Niles.
05:19I don't mind telling you I'm a little bit concerned about this.
05:22Niles, clap your hands.
05:23You come running?
05:24Oh, well, don't forget there's a little something for me in this, too.
05:29I haven't had sex in six months.
05:31Oh, surely you're exaggerating.
05:32You've only been separated for three.
05:34And your point would be?
05:44Do you really want to sacrifice your self-respect for a roll in the hay?
05:48Substitute a 16th century giltwood fainting couch for hay and watch me roll.
05:53Niles, you and Maris have not sat down and discussed your problems.
05:59As a psychiatrist, you know that sex will only cloud the issues.
06:02You don't realize how desperate I am.
06:04Ever since our separation, I've been paying women to touch me.
06:10Oh, Niles.
06:11Manicurists.
06:12Pedicurists.
06:13Facialists.
06:14Whenever you see a man who's well-groomed, you can bet he's not getting any.
06:17Well, will you at least think about what I've said?
06:19I can't.
06:20She's leaving for Europe in the morning, so I have a very small window of opportunity.
06:35Niles, you know I'm right.
06:40You just don't want me to have sex because you're not having any.
06:43I most certainly am, too.
06:45Your lips say yes, but your cuticles speak volumes.
06:50Niles.
06:51Oh, you're right.
07:00I'll tell her no.
07:03It's not going to be easy, though.
07:05Of course not.
07:07Niles
07:09Oh, you're right
07:11I'll tell her no
07:14It's not going to be easy, though
07:17Of course not
07:18Just don't think about sex
07:21Would you like me to butter your buns for you, Dr. Craig?
07:32Grandma in a teddy
07:33Thank you
07:40You're all mine in buttons and bows
07:53Oh, God, it must be PBS pledge time again
07:58Yeah, okay
07:58Ross, it is a wonderful day
08:01You know, I think the entire city of Seattle is convinced it's springtime
08:06I was walking down the street, I passed a pet store
08:09And in the window I could see two snakes doing a mating dance
08:13If you ask me, celebrating a dance that brings more snakes into the world
08:17It's like toasting a law school graduation
08:20Well, I can see the unseasonable sunshine has done nothing to improve your mood
08:29Well, how would you feel if you just lost the love of your life?
08:33Well, an alimony aside, I found it rather liberated
08:36My car wouldn't start, so I had to take the bus
08:42We're all crowded on there when suddenly I smell Lagerfeld
08:47And I look up and there he is
08:52Carl Lagerfeld
08:53His name is Gary
08:58I don't know his last name
08:59Anyway, we got to talking and we were really connecting
09:03I started to believe in kismet
09:06And all of a sudden all these people want to get off the bus
09:09And I'm in their way
09:09So I get off to let them out
09:11Before I can get back on, the damn bus drives off
09:14Out of my life forever
09:16I'm sure another one would have come along in ten minutes or so
09:18Talking about the guy
09:21Oh my
09:22You don't get it, Frasier
09:29I mean, I really felt this guy was the one
09:31Well, Ross, if you really want to try to find him again
09:35You know, we do reach half a million listeners
09:37Why don't you just tell your story on the air?
09:39On the air?
09:41Oh, I couldn't do that
09:42It would make me look pathetic
09:43Oh, it's too bizarre
09:46It's too needy
09:47It's two o'clock
09:48Oh my God
09:48Glorious good afternoon, Seattle
09:56This is Dr. Frasier Crane
09:58I'm thinking a lot today about leap year
10:02Today is February 29th
10:05And although it isn't an official holiday
10:07Perhaps it could be looked upon as one in a metaphorical sense
10:11Just as Christmas reminds us to be generous with spirit
10:14So leap year reminds us to take a leap in our own lives
10:21To be bold, to try something new
10:23Too often we shrink from doing things we really want to
10:26Held back by, oh, appearing foolish
10:31Perhaps
10:32Ross?
10:37Is there anything you'd like to say before we start taking calls?
10:48No
10:48I'm reminded of a quotation by John Greenleaf Whittier
10:54For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these
10:59It might have been
11:01Ross?
11:09No
11:10Did you know that a woman over the age of 30
11:16Has less chance of getting married than of being killed in a terrorist attack?
11:29This is to Gary
11:30I was on the number 7 bus around noon
11:34And you were a stockbroker with a tan briefcase and a cleft chin
11:39And the bus was really crowded
11:41And we both reached for the hand strap
11:44And our hands touched
11:46And we laughed
11:47And you said I had a really great laugh
11:50And I said you had a really great laugh
11:52And we laughed
11:52Bad
11:53Anyway
11:56You asked me if I were free on Friday
11:58But we got separated before I could give you my phone number
12:01Which I would have
12:03Because I really liked you
12:04And I thought you were cute
12:06So Gary, if you're listening
12:10Please, please give us a call
12:12We'll be right back after these words
12:16Oh my God
12:17Oh my God
12:18How can I say I really liked you
12:20And I thought you were cute
12:21You have my Marsha Brady
12:22Well
12:27We'll be right back
12:29For more calls
12:31And more on the search for Gary
12:33After this news break
12:34Good news
12:37I figured out a way
12:38I can have sex
12:39And we can all be happy
12:40As I pause
12:44To make sure
12:44That the on-air light is off
12:46Continue
12:49I was driving down the freeway
12:52Trying hard not to
12:54Notice the provocative decals
12:57Truckers have on their mud flaps
12:58When I heard your little speech
13:04About breaking out of familiar patterns
13:06Well
13:07Sleeping alone
13:08Has been my pattern
13:10I'm ready to take a leap
13:11No, you're not
13:12Okay
13:14Not a leap
13:15But you gotta give me something
13:16A hop
13:16A bound
13:17Give me a jump
13:18Oh God
13:18Just get a grip
13:19You thought being with Maris
13:23Was the right thing to do
13:24You would be there with her
13:25You know it's wrong
13:27That's why you're here
13:28Asking for my permission
13:30Frasier
13:30Frasier
13:31What if we don't have sex
13:33What if we just snuggle
13:33Whoops
13:34Excuse me
13:35Oh
13:36Roz
13:38Never noticed
13:40What a perky little walk you have
13:41Oh
13:42Niles
13:42Roz
13:43Niles
13:43Stop
13:45Get back
13:46Would you stop that
13:51Miles
13:52Get in control
13:53My God man
13:55There are far more important things here
13:56Than simple
13:57Immediate physical gratification
13:59You're right
13:59I
13:59I just have to
14:01Marshal my self-discipline
14:03And be strong
14:04Fifteen seconds
14:27What is wrong with your brother today
14:30Ignore him
14:31You know human nature never ceases to amaze me
14:34How otherwise rational people can be turned into babbling ninnies by their hormones
14:39Oh my God
14:40It's Gary
14:41Oh my God
14:42He's here
14:43He's here
14:45Well we're back
14:54You'll all be glad to know that
14:57Cupid's arrow has hit its mark
14:59Gary has just arrived in the hallway
15:01And has a big bouquet of flowers for Roz
15:05You know the truth is
15:07I'm really quite delighted with the way things have turned out today
15:10It inspires me
15:11To take a little leap of my own
15:14As many of you know
15:16This evening for the third year in a row
15:19I will be appearing on the PBS Pledge Drive
15:22You know I was getting a little nervous the way you were describing me on the air
15:25Why?
15:27Well my wife listens to the show
15:29You're married?
15:30Yeah but it's okay and I still want to go out with you
15:33So instead of buttons and bows
15:40I have chosen instead to sing
15:42A very challenging aria from Verdi's Rigoletto
15:46Something I have never attended outside the shower
15:50I certainly hope my little gamble turns out as well as Roz's has
15:56Or even better
16:11Well perhaps they'll pledge to get you to stop singing
16:28Oh and by the way thanks so much for the cold shower tip
16:35Did it work?
16:37No it did not
16:38It's clearly an old wife's tale because I'm still thinking of my old wife's tale
16:42Yes well I suppose it's good to reason being showered with coldness would only bring Maris more to mind
16:49Keep making remarks like that I won't help you rehearse
16:53I'm sorry Nas it's just that I'm awfully nervous
16:56You know as much as I admire your willingness to take a leap
17:00I did warn you that you were getting into a dangerous aria
17:02Oh God I'm using humor to mask sexual frustration
17:10It's high school all over again
17:11Oh Charles I know it's difficult
17:13But Maris has got to learn that you're not just someone who can be ordered to perform at will
17:18Now sit
17:18Play
17:19Next time it looks like I'm going to follow a piece of your advice
17:32Shoot me in the head first
17:33Why aren't you in Montana?
17:36Fifteen minutes out
17:38A flock of Canadian geese flew into one of our engines
17:41They were the lucky ones
17:43Next thing you know we're falling 5,000 feet
17:47Smokehouse almonds are flying everywhere
17:49People are screaming and hugging each other
17:52The guy in the next seat grabbed a hold of my hand
17:55And you know what?
17:57I didn't pull it away
17:58Then our pilot comes out
18:00Our landing gear's out
18:02We're going to have to do an emergency belly landing in 6 feet of foam
18:06So 5 hellish minutes later
18:09We're bouncing across the runway
18:11Then the stewardess comes out and says we're going to have to go down the emergency slide
18:16So down I go
18:18Head first into this sea of foam
18:20Last thing I remember
18:22This fat lady from across the aisle
18:23Comes barreling down the chute after me like a polyester avalanche
18:27My God
18:31Dad
18:31I am so sorry
18:33So these stewardesses
18:35Were they also covered with foam?
18:37But you stop it!
18:38Now Dad
18:49If you'd like to talk about it
18:52We're both here for you
18:53Boy I tell you
18:55At times like this
18:55You just
18:56All you can think of is
18:58Your loved ones
18:59And how you wish you'd spent more time with them
19:02Eddie!
19:04Well let's get back to work
19:10Something to take my mind off the fact
19:13That at this very moment
19:14Maris is slipping out of her frilly under things
19:16And into a non-fat milk bath
19:18Something wrong?
19:25Yeah something's wrong
19:26Things turn out so badly for Roz and Dad today
19:30I'm just wondering if maybe my little leap is ill-advised
19:34Oh now
19:35Maybe this Aria thing won't turn out quite so well either
19:38Just because theirs went wrong doesn't mean yours will too
19:42It's your two isolated incidents
19:44Oh Tom
19:45How will these infernal temptations never end?
20:11Oh tell me the truth
20:19Is it as bad as I think it is?
20:24How bad do you think it is?
20:30Take a leap
20:32Mr. Maurice
20:34Hair designer
20:35Trust me
20:37Children pointing
20:39Your fault
20:41Okay
20:45That's it
20:47I can't take it anymore
20:48I'm leaving
20:48No Niles
20:49You can't leave me now
20:50I need you more now than ever
20:51Oh
20:51Give it up
20:52No one who's followed your little
20:54Take a leap philosophy
20:55Has ended up even remotely better
20:57I don't care what you're saying
20:58I'm going to Maris
20:59You will rue the day
21:05I don't care
21:07Niles gotta have it
21:09Oh Pete
21:31Hi Doc
21:31I hear you're doing something new this year
21:33Whoa
21:35What is it too hard for you?
21:38For me?
21:38No
21:38I'm worried about you
21:39I can hit any note
21:40See?
21:44No
21:44Lamb Chop's not here
21:46Big Bird isn't here either
21:50What are you doing up so late?
21:53Oh
21:54Get your mommy's credit card handy
21:56Have your mommy call us back later
22:01Bye bye
22:01Oh
22:03I guess your little
22:06Aria must be coming up soon
22:08Yeah
22:09Along with some veal milanese
22:11And a rather disappointing chardonnay
22:13Oh
22:14Rose
22:16I hope you're not still angry with me
22:17For the way my advice backfired today
22:19Oh no
22:21Not at all
22:22In fact I've been meaning to tell you
22:24How much I admire you
22:25For what you're doing tonight
22:27After watching me crash and burn like that
22:31You're gonna go out and sing this very difficult song
22:34In a foreign language
22:37Under these unflattering lights
22:39Under clothes soaked with sweat on live television
22:43How long are you gonna stay mad at me?
22:45Until the day I get married
22:47Yo doc
22:49Doc
22:50Please
22:51Please
22:52I've been good over your music
22:53And when we get to this section here
22:55Either I can play really loud
22:57Or jab you with a pen
22:58Because between you and me
22:59You're not hitting this note without a pole vault
23:01Ten seconds Dr. Crane
23:05That's it
23:07That's it
23:08I'm not doing the aria
23:10What?
23:12You're backing out after you made all of us take those stupid leaps?
23:16You bet I am
23:16It may be an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes
23:19But it's an absolute idiot that doesn't learn from other people's
23:22But you promised all your listeners
23:27Oh what's the difference?
23:29Who watches PBS?
23:35I'll tell you who
23:37Discerning cultured viewers like yourselves
23:42Hello I'm Dr. Frasier Crane
23:45And like yourselves I care about quality programming such as foreign films
23:50Classical music
23:51Opera
23:52Which is why I intended to sing a rather challenging piece
23:56An aria from Verdi's Rigoletto
23:59But who am I to ignore the dozens of phone calls that will come in requesting my signature piece
24:08Rather charming little ditty that I first sang three years ago on Classic Western Movie Week
24:15So without further ado I give you
24:19Buttons and Bowls
24:22From Paleface
24:24Maestro please
24:26East is East
24:31And West is West
24:32And the wrong one I have chose
24:35Let's go where you'll keep on wearing those
24:40Not that does
24:41Bob a doze
24:42Things and buttons
24:44Buttons and bows
24:46Don't bury me
24:49Where the
24:50Puffing pee
24:51Or sounding
24:52La la la
24:53Let's all go
24:55To a
24:56Taco show
24:57And know how
24:58I've got
24:58Sons and fronts
25:00And long by nose
25:01You're in
25:02Buttons and bows
25:03I love you in
25:06Buckskin
25:07La da da da da da da
25:10And ever
25:11That
25:11Mow
25:12La la
25:13La la
25:13La la
25:14La la
25:15Everybody
25:17My bones denounce
25:20The fearful
25:21Trounce
25:22And la la la la
25:23Mow
25:23The gross
25:25What a
25:26Soos
25:26Upon
25:27Kapus
25:28And I'll
25:29Pet
25:29A
25:29Heart
25:30And
25:30Penny
25:31Hose
25:31You'll look
25:32Bumpy
25:33Buns
25:34And
25:35Bones
25:37Bones
25:38Oh
25:42I bet this is one leap year Dr. Crean won't be sorry to see the back of
25:54Should we rewind it so we can watch it again?
25:58Not yet
26:00Not yet
26:01Let it finish first
26:03This is the verse where he really loses it
26:05Hibby boppity
26:08Hibbity doe
26:09Somethin' at
26:10Somethin' at
26:11Bones
26:12At
26:12Bones
26:13Okay now you can rewind this
26:19Hey baby I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:36Oh my
26:38And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:42Well maybe
26:43But I got you pegged
26:48But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:55They're calling again
26:58Frasier has left the building
27:00Building