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  • 5/1/2025
Frasier Season 2 Episode 20 Breaking The Ice

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TV
Transcript
00:00Well, that's it for today. Goodbye, and good listening.
00:09A little off our game today, aren't we, Roz? Is there something wrong?
00:14Yes, I told a guy I love him.
00:17Somebody you know this time?
00:23Forget it, Frasier. I know you don't like to hear about my love life.
00:26Oh, Roz, don't be ridiculous. I care about you. Do you have a problem?
00:30And I can help? I'd love to. Just keep the details on a need-to-know basis.
00:36Okay, we've been dating a couple of weeks, and last night he started licking me behind my ear.
00:42You see, I had this sweet little spot.
00:44Uh, Roz, is this...
00:45Yes, I do need to know this.
00:50So anyway, what I meant to say was, oh, I love that.
00:55But I got so caught up that I yelled out, oh, I love you!
00:59And then all of a sudden he got this look on his face like Indiana Jones running from the big ball.
01:07Well, uh, Roz, do you love him?
01:10No, but I said it, so he should have said it back. It's just polite.
01:13There is no more emotionally charged phrase in the language than, I love you.
01:22Some people are just incapable of saying it. It makes them too vulnerable.
01:26My father, for instance, incapable of saying, I love you. Even to me.
01:31But I know what he does.
01:32So your father never told you he loves you?
01:35God, that explains so much.
01:38What is that supposed to mean?
01:41Well, maybe if he had, you wouldn't be so emotionally needy that when a close friend asks your advice,
01:46you have to steer the conversation back to your own problems.
01:49So anyway, now that I told this guy I love him, how do I take it back?
01:53It's very simple, Roz.
01:55Do you remember when I said that I've cared about you and I'd like to help?
01:58Yeah.
02:00I take it back.
02:01Eddie, get out of there. You'll get a fish hook up your nose.
02:18Don't you ever clean that thing out?
02:21No, it's bad luck. Everybody knows that.
02:24You show up on a fishing trip with a tackle box that doesn't smell like the most rancid, rotten thing on the face of the earth,
02:30and nobody will sit next to you.
02:34Yes, now, I used to have the same problem with my multiple personality patients.
02:39Everyone kept saying that the other one had sent the check.
02:45What an odd combination of odors.
02:48Smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers.
02:51Yes, it's time for Dad's annual ice fishing trip to Lake Noma Hegan.
03:02Yep, getting my gear ready.
03:05Duke running out of the cabin right on the lake, and I'm bringing the bait and the pork rinds.
03:10Now, just because your old man's going out of town, I don't want you boys throwing any wild parties.
03:15How can we if you're taking all the pork rinds?
03:21I can't figure it out.
03:23How could a fish be so dumb as to put its mouth around...
03:27Ow!
03:34Hello?
03:36Oh, hello.
03:37Yes, he's right here.
03:39It's Duke.
03:40Oh!
03:42Hey, Duke!
03:42Hey, Duke!
03:43Hey, Duke!
03:45Oh, I'm sorry.
03:49Yeah, sure I understand.
03:52Hey, we'll do it next year.
03:54Yeah, we've got too many good times up there to let this tradition die.
03:59Yeah.
04:01Yeah, I love you, you big lug.
04:06Okay, bye.
04:10Your trip's been cancelled.
04:12Yeah, Duke's back, sir, again.
04:16Oh, what a shame.
04:17You were so looking forward to it.
04:20Well, I still have the cabin, but...
04:24Can't go along.
04:30Dad, look, as much as I'd like to do something with you this weekend, I...
04:33I'm afraid ice fishing just isn't it.
04:36Oh, look, look, here's an idea.
04:38You know what?
04:39They're doing a revival of...
04:41The Iceman Cometh playing downtown.
04:45Now, you see, we could catch a matinee and then go out for sushi and stay well within the same theme, you see.
04:50You know.
04:50Thanks, anyway.
04:53Well, I'd go.
04:55But to me, the pleasure of fishing has always been waiting for the men to return with their catch.
05:00Oh, I can still see my brother's friends coming back from the lake, their chiseled faces all ruddy and wind-burnt.
05:08Oh, they were so masculine.
05:10I just couldn't wait to pan-fry their capers.
05:14I'll go ice fishing, Dad.
05:21Really?
05:21Are you sure?
05:23Plus, you don't want me to.
05:24No, I do.
05:25Oh, this will be great.
05:27You?
05:28Ice fishing?
05:29Well, why not?
05:30I've always thought of myself as a man of the great al fresco.
05:35Now, you'll get a runny nose watching figure skating on TV.
05:40Oh, thanks, Niles.
05:42The very least I can do if it'll help save your trip for you.
05:45Oh, well, Niles, that's quite a gesture.
05:48But I mean, really.
05:48Ice fishing?
05:50In an arctic tundra where large men spit and it freezes in their beards?
05:56After you've seen Maris's interpretive dance group perform Afternoon of a Faun in the East Garden,
06:01the wilderness holds no terror.
06:10Morning, Daphne.
06:12Good morning.
06:13Lovely day, isn't it?
06:15Oh, you're in a good mood.
06:17Yes, well, as much as I love your father,
06:20with him gone, it's going to be a wonderful weekend.
06:24Care to make it perfect?
06:25Sorry to disappoint you, but I am staying.
06:39Well, I found the thermos.
06:40Sure make that coffee extra strong.
06:42Oh, hey, how you doing, Chief?
06:47Yeah, I know you want to go with me,
06:50but we're going to be on the ice.
06:52It'll be too cold for you.
06:54Yeah, I love you, you little mutt.
07:00Well, I better go make sure I have everything.
07:02Did he just say, I love you, to the dog?
07:11No, that's nothing.
07:13I had a nun who used to say,
07:15good night, Mr. Vanderpump, to a hat rack.
07:23Does he say that to any a lot?
07:25Well, I try to give them their privacy.
07:27Sorry, Daffy, I'm just curious.
07:34I don't mean to sound maudlin,
07:36but, you know, I can't remember Dad ever saying that to me.
07:41Oh, you know what a crusty old git your dad is.
07:44Oh, yes, but he says it to Eddie, you know,
07:47he said it to Duke the other day on the phone.
07:50Duke and your father go way back.
07:53He's his chum.
07:54And I'm not.
07:56Well, you know,
07:57when your father wants to go fishing,
08:00at least Duke will go with him.
08:04So you're suggesting that I go along
08:05and pretend I'm enjoying myself
08:07to something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all
08:09just to hear the words, I love you?
08:11Why not?
08:13Women have been doing it for centuries.
08:14Call me Ishmael.
08:36Oh, Niles, look at you.
08:43Now, are you sure you're going to be warm enough?
08:45No problem there.
08:46I dressed in layers.
08:47Polo, Eddie Bauer, and Timberland.
08:52Look like a skinny Elmer Fudd.
08:54Dad, wait till you see all the stuff I got.
09:02I had no idea how much I liked fishing
09:04until I realized all the shopping involved.
09:08Graphite pools.
09:09And hot buns.
09:16They're heated seat cushions.
09:18You microwave them and they stay toasty warm for hours.
09:21You know, Dad, maybe I was a little hasty.
09:24All right, here we are.
09:26Some snacks for the trip up.
09:29Oh, look at you, Dr. Crane, in your new tugs.
09:33Yeah, quite an outfit, huh?
09:34The fish will see him coming.
09:36Yes, for all the salesmen, certainly, dude.
09:43Dad, you know, I feel kind of bad
09:44that I turned you down the other day
09:46when you invited me.
09:47Oh, don't worry about it.
09:48Wait till you taste this freshly smoked turkey jerky.
09:54For heaven's sakes, you know you want to go,
09:57so why don't you just ask him?
09:58How can I?
09:59I already said I didn't want to.
10:01Boy, that's delicious.
10:03Oh, don't put it back in.
10:04Hey, Niles, come on.
10:06It's got a light.
10:07Well, yes, guess we better hit the road.
10:08You know, guys, it's kind of a long trip.
10:10Are you sure you're up to the drive?
10:14Frasier, I'm getting some mixed signals here.
10:17You don't want to go with us, do you?
10:19Oh, all right.
10:21Better than hearing your nag, nag, nag all the time.
10:23Fine, I'll go.
10:24Come on.
10:25Hey, come on.
10:46The ice isn't going to break.
10:47This lake's been frozen solid for three months.
10:51Well, I'm sorry, Daddy.
10:55It's just...
10:56You said...
10:57Duke, a cabin on the lake.
11:00This is not what I had in mind.
11:02It's a cabin.
11:04It's on the lake.
11:05Well, I guess two degrees warmer, it'll be in the lake.
11:12That was amazing.
11:14I've never felt so in touch with nature.
11:17What happened?
11:17For the first time in my life, I just urinated outdoors.
11:28Another cup of coffee, I'll go back and dot the I.
11:33Oh, Dad, this is great.
11:38Well, I'm afraid you doesn't think so.
11:40Well, it's not that I'm complaining.
11:42It's just that I thought it would be something more, well, lake-adjacent.
11:48I don't know.
11:52Are we actually going to sleep in here?
11:56Who is this Rube?
12:00Maybe we can trick him into touching his tongue to the bait pocket.
12:07No, we're fishing here.
12:09We're sleeping someplace else.
12:11From where we turned off the highway,
12:13well, right down from there is the Bed and Bass Motel.
12:16Bed and Bass.
12:18Yes, one of the finer fish-themed hotels.
12:25So what do we do?
12:26We make a little hole in the ice with this little corkscrew thing
12:31and then just start fishing?
12:33It's called an ogre.
12:36Well, imagine my embarrassment.
12:41Here's your hot buns, Dad.
12:42Oh, thanks.
12:44What am I going to sit on?
12:46The auger's free.
12:50Oh, all right.
12:51Come on, come on.
12:52Here.
12:52Okay.
12:52I saw that.
13:14I'm not bored.
13:18I'm simply wondering how long we've been sitting here enjoying ourselves.
13:25If the fish don't feel peckish just now, we'll pass the time in good conversation.
13:29Dad, did you know that Lake Nomahegan was formed by the retreat of several glaciers during the Cenozoic era?
13:37Which, coincidentally, was the last time anyone caught a fish in it.
13:40How did you know that, Niles?
13:46Well, last night I was browsing through Fielding's Geological History of Western Canada.
13:52It's fascinating.
13:54For example, did you know this very lake is 89 meters deep and boasts 50 varieties of fish?
14:00Oh, Alex, I'll take bodies of water for 500.
14:10It has lake trout, rainbow trout, wall-eyed pipes.
14:14How would you like to be sleeping with them?
14:15Hey.
14:17You know, you can order a thing of truth from your brother about getting into the spirit of things.
14:20Well, I'm sorry.
14:22It's just that my back hurts, I'm hungry, and I'm tired of sitting here trying to warm up one bun at a time.
14:2620-degree weather.
14:30That's negative 6 degrees Celsius.
14:33A system named after Anders Celsius, the famed Swedish astronomer and compulsive temperature taker.
14:43I'll switch.
14:43Come on.
14:51I believe you're on my side.
14:53I am not.
14:54You've crossed the border.
14:56I don't even know why I'm here.
14:59I'm taking the same thing myself.
15:00Now, guys, come on.
15:01After having such a terrible time, why don't you just head back to the bed and bow?
15:04Fine.
15:05That's just what I need.
15:06A brisk, five-mile hike through sub-freezing temperatures.
15:09Oh, for God's sake.
15:10Take the car.
15:11You can pick us up later.
15:12Fine.
15:14Oh, no.
15:15There's a hole in my pocket.
15:16You lost the keys?
15:18I don't know where.
15:19Well, if I knew where, they wouldn't be lost.
15:21Yes.
15:21They could be anywhere between here and the car.
15:23Well, good luck finding it.
15:25It must have been snowing all day.
15:27Great.
15:28We're going to have to stay here all night.
15:30This is just dandy.
15:31By morning, we'll be Stouffer's frozen entrees for wolves.
15:36Hey, wait a minute.
15:37Is that him over there?
15:39Where?
15:40Oh, oh, oh.
15:41Thank God.
15:42All right, mister.
15:42I don't trust you.
15:43Give me those right now.
15:44Oh, fine, mister.
15:45Big brother.
15:46Big brother.
15:51Nice catch.
15:52Me?
15:52You throw like a girl.
15:54All right, boys.
15:56Let's not panic.
15:57You know, we're going to be fine staying here all night.
16:00You know, the same thing happened to me and Duke about ten years ago.
16:04You dropped your car keys down the hole?
16:05No, we're not idiots.
16:06The car battery died.
16:08Well, the three was made it through the night just fine.
16:12You, Duke, and who?
16:14My old drinking buddy, Mr. James Beam.
16:18You're not the only one who went out and got some fishing supplies.
16:21Well, I never thought I'd end up yearning for the bed and bass.
16:26Yes, please.
16:33Yes, please.
16:49My God, what was that?
16:51Just the ice cracking underneath us.
16:56Relax.
16:58It happens all the time.
17:00Well, if we do fall in, we'll have 90 seconds until hypothermia sets in.
17:07One more fact.
17:08You're going in that hole.
17:11The walleye...
17:12Oh, yeah, that's it.
17:14Well, you guys stopped going after each other already.
17:20I know.
17:21We're going to lighten things up around here.
17:24Hey, we're drinking.
17:26We need a drinking song.
17:28All right, all right.
17:30Ooh.
17:31I know.
17:31There's a wonderful drinking song from La Traviata called, uh, Libiamo Brindisi.
17:35No, no, no, no.
17:37That's from Regaletto.
17:37No, it's from La Traviata.
17:38That was great.
17:47Oh, that was great!
18:05What's the second verse?
18:07I don't know, it's in Italian.
18:12Another drink?
18:13No, no, I'll take a pass on that.
18:16I gotta go use the facilities.
18:19But I'll be right back, so keep a light on in the window for me.
18:26Well, I'm still thirsty, Niles.
18:28Here, beam me up.
18:42Niles, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
18:45What the hell are you doing here?
18:48What do you mean?
18:49You know, this whole Sergeant Niles of the Yukon act.
18:54I mean, come on, it can't be all to impress Daphne.
18:56It's not an act.
18:58Niles, in 20 years, I've never heard you comment on fish except to say that the sauce had separated.
19:04All right, I'll tell you, you promised not to laugh.
19:11You'll have to take that hat off.
19:17Well, two years ago, when you took Dad in, I thought I was getting away with something.
19:23Watching you two get closer, I started to think maybe I was missing out on something.
19:31Do you want him?
19:32No, no.
19:36Let me finish.
19:42I just really feel the need to make a connection.
19:44Well, Niles, I think you've made a connection.
19:48It just seems a little bit extreme, though, you know.
19:50It probably could have accomplished the same thing if you'd just taken him to Captain Andy's surf and turf.
19:57Miss out on all the fun of memorizing 101 useless fish facts and buying a large battery-operated wardrobe?
20:04So you're having just as bad a time as I am.
20:08Oh, oh, oh, worse.
20:13At least you have the fun of complaining.
20:15I have to feign enthusiasm.
20:20Oh, I really am king of the ninnies, aren't I?
20:24Oh, well.
20:26I'll be reaching for that scepter yet, son.
20:31One of the reasons I came up here.
20:34It's just to hear him say the words, I love you.
20:40What?
20:42You know, he said it to Duke.
20:45He said it to Eddie.
20:46He's never said it to me.
20:49Surely you don't put yourself up there with Eddie.
20:59Oh, Frazier, you know he loves you.
21:02Oh, yeah, of course I do.
21:03I know, you know, I'm being ridiculous.
21:05I know that.
21:05I mean, look at the guy.
21:07He's content just to sit here freezing his buns off because we're sitting here with him.
21:13It's just, I guess I just got a little obsessed about, you know, hearing it.
21:18Well, I mean, you know that Maris loves you, right?
21:22But it's still nice to hear him.
21:23I imagine it would be, but let's stick to attainable goals.
21:27As they laugh, the laugh of the damn.
21:40Oh, boy, I did it.
21:42I wrote my name out there.
21:45I had to borrow an end from Niles, but I did it.
21:49You're leaving quite the urological crossword puzzle out there, aren't you?
21:53So, what were you guys laughing at?
22:00Oh, nothing.
22:01Oh, come on.
22:03Don't leave your old man out.
22:05Well, all right, okay.
22:07I was just explaining to Niles the reason why I drove all this way up here was to...
22:16I was hoping I'd hear you say the words, I love you.
22:21Oh, jeez.
22:22I leave you for two minutes and you have to start thinking.
22:27Isn't it enough that we're just here having a good time?
22:31Dad?
22:32You know, every year in this country, thousands of guys go fishing and love never enters into it.
22:38Okay, well, I'll get about it.
22:41Well, can we just go on fishing?
22:43Sure.
22:44Fisherman in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, stared into one of these holes for 20 years before he caught his first fish.
22:54Haven't we been here that long?
22:58Anyway, just because I didn't say it doesn't mean I don't mean it or feel it.
23:02Yeah, that's exactly what we were saying.
23:05Absolutely.
23:05Well, yeah, well, you know, you can...
23:08My dad never said it, but I know he felt it.
23:11I mean, feeling it's the same as saying it, isn't it?
23:14Dad, you don't have to say it.
23:16Well, did it ever occur to you that...
23:18Maybe I want to say it.
23:28You know, your mother used to get all over me about not saying stuff, too.
23:31Well, I can't say it'll be looking at me.
23:48Would it help you if we left?
23:50Just for that, I'm doing you second.
24:01I don't know why it's so hard.
24:04Dad, listen, you know you can say it.
24:06I heard you say it, too.
24:07Oh, that's different.
24:09I said, I love ya.
24:11Ya.
24:15We take ya.
24:18Ya.
24:21Otherwise, I'm going to do it.
24:22I'll do it right.
24:29Frasier.
24:29Frasier.
24:51I love you.
24:56Niles.
24:56I love you.
25:03Thanks, Dad.
25:07I love you, too.
25:10And I love you, too.
25:14But I hate ice fishing.
25:23Well, it's the last time you'll have to come out and do that.
25:25Oh, in that case, I really love you.
25:29Well, thanks, Niles.
25:30Oh, look at that.
25:31That's so cute.
25:32But you say it to him, he blushes.
25:34Oh.
25:35I love you.
25:35Oh, God.
25:36I love you.
25:38I love you.
25:40Come on.
25:40I love you.
25:42Stop it.
25:42Come on.
25:43Give us a kiss.
25:46Excuse me.
25:48Hey, officer.
25:49Oh, we're saved.
25:50You guys are going to have to come out of the ice for the night.
25:52No, we can't.
25:53We lost the car key.
25:55Then I'll take you to your motel, and you can call Locksmith in the morning.
25:58Oh, thanks.
25:59Oh, sir, sir.
26:00Wonderful idea.
26:01You're quite a sport.
26:02Yes.
26:03We love you.
26:06Yum.
26:06We love you.
26:07Yum.
26:10We've been drinking a bubble.
26:11Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling, tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:26Oh, my.
26:28And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:32Yeah, maybe.
26:33But I got you pegged.
26:34Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:37But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:45They're calling again.
26:49Scrambled eggs all over my face.
26:52What is a boy to do?