Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share their experiences of getting an accidental "happy ending" at a massage parlor.
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00:00all right here's a question for you have you ever accidentally got a happy ending massage
00:12or how did you get out of it because that happened to a woman she accidentally booked
00:17a happy ending massage really let's take a listen in to her get a massage not knowing I was going
00:25to a happy endings massage let's talk about it now if you've ever gotten a massage you know they
00:31always tell you to get undressed to your comfort level so I always leave my underwear on so I left
00:35my underwear on and laid down she comes in and really quickly rips my underwear down to my knees
00:42and I was like what's happening very uncomfortable but to make matters worse she folds back the sheet
00:50that's already very small so I am completely exposed booty up she then sits on my thighs
00:57I reach down and pull my underwear back up and I was like no thank you I feel like I missed a lot
01:06I feel like she cut a bunch of my shoulders please the poor woman was very confused as to why I was
01:12not into this the massage was great once we established our boundaries I had indeed booked
01:18myself a happy ending massage so she was that lady wanted to rub and rub right the masseuse was
01:26ready that's what she figured she was there for my guess is what she went right for it and then
01:34that's when the girl was like whoa yeah that's why she pulled her underwear up yeah something happened
01:40the maker you know Laura's next hi Laura how are you good how are you good have you ever accidentally
01:48ended up at a happy endings place um yeah it definitely happened about two weeks ago and I'm
01:54listening this morning and I said oh god I gotta call in what happened no I just got that from
02:01Germany and I missed I missed the whole European spot and I said you know what there's like a walk-in
02:06Asian place down the road for me and typically it's it's fine well I get there and now looking
02:11back I'm like red flag red flag red flag so I walk in and same thing as whoever you just had on a
02:18couple minutes ago it's like I'm down to my underwear and all of a sudden I feel her just
02:23kind of rip them down and I'm like well okay maybe she's you know gonna do the butt whatever
02:27yeah yeah yeah I get the butt she starts like she's like putting her her her breast like kind
02:36of on the back side and I'm like damn okay something's off here she's going all the way
02:40up with her fingers all the way right in there you know where you're like whoa that's real close here
02:46so I did the whole like the non-verbal you know I'm like um yeah I'm good she goes no no no she's
02:52taking her her index fingers right uh-huh in my ear hole what she's massaging your inner ear
03:01it totally happens and uh watch out yeah no all right Laura good to know thanks for calling in
03:08uh Brandy is with us hi Brandy hi so have you had this happen I have I went to a local place
03:17it was just pretty clear to me like he was like doing things like things so that he could see
03:23parts of me and whatever like really pulling right there and um so I was like oh well all right
03:31whatever and so about a month later I go back um so I only went back once after that okay oh you
03:39did go back yeah you did go back yeah made you feel good yeah fine what happened the second time
03:46trade and so um I go back and he's doing that same thing because I remember saying I remember
03:53telling him and this was a surprise like get my glutes and he goes oh yeah I'm gonna get all up in
03:59there and I was like uh uh let's see where this goes so he does all that and he's doing that thing
04:06with his fingers again up in between the thigh and the privates and then at a certain point he has
04:12me flip over so now I'm on my back and um he's right there he's right there if I don't stop him
04:19he's going to yeah so I I just kind of I just I it was fine I just put I just kind of start to
04:31slowly move my hand down there like yeah he probably shouldn't that was that was the deal
04:35breaker yeah yeah all right brandy thanks for calling in yeah so she was half in she was half
04:41she would have let it happen if he didn't go too far uh someone said yes absolutely had something
04:46like this happened seemed like a really nice spa in a nice area I had a gift card girl comes in
04:51removes my panties nice then oiled up and started to rub my kitty my god I like how you said that I
05:00just well not my I don't know I don't like how you I don't like how you said that at all I don't like
05:09it I just want to say I it made me feel really gross I I'm grossed out all right I feel a little
05:17kitty for chuck day rub that dirty little kitty all right okay no more kitties um let's go to
05:23Jessica who's with us from Fort Myers hi Jessica hi you ever ended up accidentally at a happy endings
05:29place like this woman that we were listening to um so I I ended up at one um but it wasn't for
05:38it wasn't for getting a massage uh you were giving them I thank god I uh realized what was
05:48going on soon enough but it ended up like a lifetime movie it was pretty crazy a lifetime
05:54hold on a second what do you mean never seen a happy ending in one of those movies no no but okay
06:01so I have to tell you I this was back in the day you know and so I was looking in the classifieds
06:07for a job I think I was like 18 years old I might have been younger um and I saw in the classifieds I
06:14saw an ad that said um sales no experience necessary will train yeah and I I'm like oh
06:24okay great you know so I go in to the interview and I go to this place and it's funny because every
06:30time I pass it now I'm like oh that's the shady massage place but okay so so tell us what happened
06:36though let's get to the story though okay so he hires me right and but the weird thing is I'm
06:43walking out of the interview and like all happy that I got this job that I don't even really know
06:49what I'm doing and he mentions my shoes and he's like oh next when you come in where where like some
06:56sexier shoes and I'm like uh okay and I like I thought maybe that's just how he said
07:03nicer like I don't know so uh I come in for my quote first day I bring a little bagged lunch
07:10what was in your lunch Lisa no what happened Jessica I may never have a happy ending again after this
07:19what happened I honestly I think it was a sandwich maybe and an apple oh my god you're telling us
07:25about the lunch Jesus Christ what kind of sandwich oh no no probably baloney I'm in this shop and
07:35there's another girl with me right and she's this this really young girl and she's got blonde hair
07:42and this guy is showing us around and talking about how we're gonna be selling massage machinery
07:53yeah but we're not yeah but we're not seeing like there is no machinery there there's no product
08:01but to be sold right then he finally takes us into these rooms where there's beds at like massage
08:09beds he's like oh yeah my girls up in New York they'd make like uh oh sweet god Jessica I can't
08:17Jessica the question was did you accidentally get a happy ending massage she we've no
08:23what you're having for lunch we're selling stuff if you have 30 seconds to finish this story
08:29Jessica your 30 seconds begins now okay well I realized what was up and I left I tried to bring
08:38this is where it gets lifetime I tried to bring the other girl with me and she told me she needed
08:43the money oh yeah oh yeah there's people do do it there we go Jessica thank you so much for calling in is there a lifetime movie about saving a woman from a jerk off massage I'm sure I'm sure I thought lifetime movie massage parlor it was awfully literal for lifetime it took a whole lifetime to tell her yeah I was like I think that lifetime movies aren't as long as a lady's story
08:49no they're not I astral projected to
09:19a bunch of a bunch of planets oh yeah did you what'd you see out there you were gone I was way out there
09:24me too yeah I was thinking of joining you I just couldn't take off
09:29you
09:29you
09:30you