Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who was arrested after assaulting someone over a honey bun. Then, while talking about Jason bulking up for 'Swole Summer', the show imagines him taking it too far and ending up fat.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Well, an ex-con is back behind bars
00:08following a domestic incident
00:09over a honey bun.
00:12They take him seriously.
00:14Ex-con?
00:15Ex-con.
00:16That's prison food.
00:19While arguing over a honey bun,
00:21he pushed his girlfriend.
00:24He wanted the last one,
00:25and so did she.
00:28And that led to a fight.
00:30Oh, yeah.
00:31There he is there.
00:32Oh, my.
00:35When booked into custody,
00:37jailers noted that he has teardrops
00:38inked below his right eye,
00:40as well as a tattoo of a bear claw.
00:44Listen.
00:44Which might refer to honey buns, they believe.
00:48You can't take that guy's last honey bun.
00:53No, you can't.
00:53News flash.
00:55Okay?
00:55If you live around a guy like that,
00:57and there's one honey bun left,
01:00it's his honey bun, guys.
01:02It's his.
01:03You don't need it.
01:04Especially if he has one tattooed on his chest.
01:06Yeah.
01:07He loves them.
01:08Yeah.
01:08Those teardrops aren't honey buns.
01:10Nope.
01:11Nope.
01:12I don't get it.
01:14I am not killing it.
01:15I don't like honey buns at all.
01:16I mean, I just think they're okay.
01:18There's so many better pastries in the world.
01:21Not in a bind.
01:23I mean, I guess I've never been to prison,
01:24so if I had a...
01:25But he's not in prison.
01:26Well, that's how I felt here back in the day.
01:28But he got used to it, right?
01:29I felt like this.
01:30Like, if you could get...
01:32You wanted to brighten up a real bad day here?
01:35Have a honey bun?
01:36They used to have them.
01:37They do.
01:37They do.
01:37They have, like, fancy...
01:38They still have them?
01:39They have, like, fancy honey buns here
01:40with the, like, white icing, though, right?
01:42Yeah.
01:43Yeah.
01:43I microwaved one here one time,
01:45and you love the smell.
01:46Did I have one?
01:47I don't think that's one.
01:48It smells okay, but I've had one before.
01:51I totally disappointed it.
01:52It was just, like, a chemically...
01:53That's a long time ago.
01:55You're okay with it.
01:55I've been eating the Danish shit.
01:57I'm bulking up, man.
01:58Oh, yeah, you are.
01:59Everything is psyched.
02:00I have seen people, though,
02:01and they look good,
02:02but they probably don't taste the great...
02:04Make, like, use a waffle maker.
02:05Put honey buns in a waffle maker
02:07and make, like, honey bun waffles.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Jason, are you bulking up on honey buns?
02:12I'm bulking up on everything.
02:13You can bulk up on whatever you want.
02:15Won't you just be fat?
02:17Won't I what?
02:17Won't you just be fat?
02:19No, you can't get fat.
02:20Impossible.
02:20Are you supposed to have protein for muscle?
02:22He gets all of it.
02:23Protein, carbs.
02:24There's no water.
02:25Are you doing all the macros?
02:27I'm sending you all those videos
02:28so that you get this giant.
02:30When you do 250 push-ups a day,
02:31then you're not getting fat.
02:33You probably couldn't be fat anyway.
02:35Until this fall when he has that voice,
02:37then he's...
02:37Something happened.
02:40Don't go on the honey bun night.
02:42Don't go on the honey bun night.
02:42How's the swole summer going?
02:44Swole, Sammy.
02:45I'm swollen everywhere.
02:47My stomach is swollen.
02:48My legs are swollen and inflamed.
02:51Damn, Jason.
02:52You're not dainty anymore.
02:55You're damn right.
02:55No, they're never going to get me dainty again.
03:01Watch this.
03:01I'm trying to jump in my super...
03:03I can't even do it anymore.
03:06It's a super real.
03:08I can't even do it anymore.
03:10Your feet look pretty purple, dude.
03:12Yep, yep.
03:13They tell me you like a circulation.
03:15He's dieting about it.
03:17From the bulk of diabetic bro check.
03:22What up, buddy?
03:24So what was your diet as you were bulking up...
03:26Everything in sight.
03:28This swole summer.
03:30Aunt Anne's mac and cheese.
03:33Honey buns.
03:36Power bars.
03:37What's that?
03:38Any kind of power bar you can find.
03:41Chocolate bars.
03:42Oh, chocolate bars, aren't you?
03:44Ice cream.
03:45Oh, ice cream.
03:46You probably went...
03:47You liked that before.
03:48If you were bulking, you probably...
03:50Every day, 12 ice cream sandwiches.
03:54Chip witch.
03:56Grimstick.
03:59Swole summer.
04:00Swole summer.
04:01Swole summer.
04:02He did it.
04:03Woo!
04:04Congratulations, Jason.
04:05Yeah, not dainty anymore.
04:07We can't call you dainty.
04:08That's what it's about.
04:10I hope it works.
04:11Now over to Big Jason.
04:12Get big.
04:16Balloon up.
04:18Yeah, so just be careful.
04:19Maybe not too many honey buns.
04:22You have to.
04:22As long as you turn them into muscle, it's okay.
04:24Okay.
04:24You know what you're doing over there.
04:26I don't, because the heart's probably going to give out.
04:29I'm trying to help him.
04:30Honestly, I am.
04:31I'm trying to...
04:32It doesn't sound healthy.
04:33I sent him a video last night.
04:35It was like after midnight or whatever.
04:37I'm like, well, I saw this.
04:39I need to send it to him.
04:40You send videos after midnight.
04:42I did.
04:42I was like, I hope he doesn't freak out.
04:44But I sent him like a bulk up video.
04:48Yeah.
04:48That's weird.
04:49And I was eating the same thing the guy was eating in it.
04:51I had my overnight oats this morning with, you know, oats and some yogurt.
04:55Oh, nice.
04:56Fruit.
04:56My applesauce pouch.
04:58I got my Velveeta crackers.
04:59I got a couple of yogurts.
05:01I'm going to go home.
05:02I'm going to make some eggs and some bagel with some sunflowers spread on it.
05:06Oh, gross.
05:07Yeah.
05:07What?
05:08Sunflowers spread.
05:09Well, I can't do peanut butter, so it's a way to get the protein and the calories.
05:12Okay.
05:13Yeah.
05:13I sent him all the Sam Sulik videos.
05:16He's like a big bodybuilding kid.
05:21There's already a difference.
05:22You just can't see it because my shirts are already in this week.
05:26I already have a difference.
05:27He already, his guns, his arms.
05:29He just started last week.
05:30Are you lifting a lot?
05:31I told you, I'm doing, I'm working out every day I go home and I work out twice a day.
05:37And then I got basketball tonight.
05:38You know, it's just a joke, man.
05:39No, I'm getting, it's not, it's not.
05:42See?
05:43See?
05:43It's not.
05:44See what you did, Dave?
05:44It's just a joke.
05:45It wasn't just me.
05:46It was more him.
05:47No, more me.
05:48It's good.
05:50I'm telling you, I went to go do a car.
05:51It's good for my, my whole life.
05:53I just was saying I was going to go do a couple of pushups and just the look Jesse gave me.
05:58Letting her know I was going to work out.
05:59It was like, back in.
06:02Oh, wow.
06:03You know, she was like, oh, okay.
06:05Working out a little bit.
06:06Got to prove Dave wrong.
06:07Do you have weights at home?
06:09Yeah, I got some.
06:09It's funny.
06:10He's never once said, I have to prove Chuck wrong.
06:13No.
06:13But honestly, I will say, I think he's the first guy that called you dainty.
06:17It wasn't me.
06:18I think I actually called myself dainty first.
06:21I'm talking about my skinny wrists.
06:23All right.
06:23I think I said I have dainty little wrists.
06:26And then from there, it just became whatever it is.
06:28But yeah, that's true.
06:30It's, you know, just don't turn into the Dukes of Diabetes.
06:33No, no, no, no, no.
06:34Dukes of Diabetes.
06:36Yeah, if he's doing it right, he's going to be just fine.
06:38But like you do, like even some of these guys that are giant, they will eat like a full box of Krispy Kreme as long as the other macros that they eat, like all line up to whatever it is.
06:50That's what I tell people what happened to me.
06:52I said, I was going to bulk up.
06:53Yeah.
06:54Never stop.
06:55And then I'm just like, I got busy.
06:56Yeah, you can lose yourself, you know.
07:00So this is that, what I was telling you about, that honey bun waffle.
07:04That looks good.
07:05It does look delicious.
07:06Put some syrup on there.
07:07I have a waffle maker.
07:08I'll try it today.
07:09All right.
07:09Add some protein to that.
07:10Yeah.
07:11I'm coming for you, Dave.
07:13It's inspiring.
07:14It's inspiring.
07:15I'm coming for you.
07:15It's all for you, Dave.
07:17All right.
07:17I'm like, I got a picture of you up on the wall.
07:19No, that's so weird.
07:21That guy that I sent you, like one of the first things I watched of his that really made me laugh,
07:26where he was like, if you're a guy right now and you're under 200 pounds, stop everything
07:32else you're doing and bulk up.
07:35He's like, just start eating, please.
07:37He's like, come on.
07:38You can go to the med spa and they do like, get like an ab workout.
07:42They just lay there and then they need to get like a sculpt.
07:46A sculpting?
07:46What are you talking about here?
07:48Because this is sculpt or something like that.
07:49Is this just like electrodes on them where they shoot you with a laser and burn off your
07:53fat or anything like that?
07:54No, nothing like that.
07:55I don't know.
07:56I don't know how it works.
07:57Because that's what I want to work out without moving.
07:59It's a non-surgical pain free treatment that can strengthen and tone abdominal muscles,
08:02tighten skin and reduce fat deposits.
08:05You can do it on your butt too.
08:06Oh, I'll do it on everything.
08:08Yeah.
08:09Buttocks and abdomen.
08:10Get that.
08:10Get your glutes fired up.
08:12Swole ass summer.
08:13Yeah.
08:14Swole ass summer.
08:16I don't know if that's what you should be doing for.
08:17Dude, your ass is swole.
08:19Your ass is huge, dude.
08:20You're going to have a hard time getting your coffee.
08:22You got to get around this big place.
08:23Oh, yeah.
08:23Can you do your swole ass?
08:25I need to get to the coffee maker.
08:26He had to get a new chair for that thing.
08:28What if they show the machine?
08:30Oh, they don't.
08:30There it is.
08:31What is that thing doing?
08:33Look at it just zapping you with some magic.
08:36I don't want to do anything.
08:37You just lay there.
08:38That's what I want.
08:40That's what I need.
08:42Leave me alone.
08:43I'm working out.
08:44Shut up.
08:44I'm hard at work.
08:46I'm working out.
08:47There you go.
08:48Look how easy that is.
08:49That's it.
08:49That's what I need.
08:51How do I get this weird looking machine at home?
08:54It'll cost you a lot of money.
08:56Yeah.
08:56If I went there, they'd be like, for the results you need, you're going to have to just do this
08:59for three years.
09:00Well, that's it.
09:01What would be is I'd have incredibly strong abs under.
09:07A bunch of fat.
09:07Five inches of fat.
09:09Like, thanks.
09:10Thanks, machine.
09:11You really did great.
09:12I never changed how I ate.
09:14You really did great.
09:18I don't know.