Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Florida, who looks like the Cryptkeeper, that was arrested after he attempted to perform oral sex on a man in his trailer and then stabbed him when he was shut down.
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00:00Dave and Chuck the Freak's Pervert of the Day
00:10That's not what I thought you were going to play when you described the nightmare
00:13This is an even bigger nightmare than I thought
00:17Well, Chuck, let me put it to you this way
00:20I thought it would be dark-sided
00:22Imagine waking up
00:24And the Crypt Keeper is blowing you
00:30No, no, no
00:31No, come on
00:35No
00:36You wait till you see this guy's mugshot
00:38Come on
00:39We're off to Key West, Florida
00:42Where a man has been arrested
00:43He attempted
00:46To perform a sexual act on him
00:50Yes
00:50Yes
00:52What?
00:54And when that was not well received
00:57This is not being well received
01:00He then stabbed the man
01:03Oh, wow
01:05I guess I let you do it
01:06If I know I'm going to get stabbed
01:08Write that down
01:10James, put the knife down
01:13Or don't
01:14The Monroe County Sheriff's Office said
01:1770-year-old
01:18Oh, no
01:19No
01:20Steven Santana
01:21Of Big Coppet Key
01:24Mm-hmm
01:25Invited the victim to sleep overnight in his camper
01:28Okay, well
01:29Following an evening of drinking and smoking marijuana
01:33When the man realized he had way too much to drive
01:39Yes
01:39He took this guy up on the offer
01:42Oh, to sleep here
01:43He agreed to sleep in the rear of the camper
01:48As long as the other guy was sleeping up front
01:52Yes
01:53On a couch
01:53Because he probably did get some
01:55He got some vibes, right?
01:56Yeah
01:56But about 1.30 in the morning
02:00He woke up
02:02I had to wake that face
02:05It's a boner hour
02:06And the Crypt Keeper was trying to blow up
02:14Oh, my God
02:15My God
02:17I gotta see him
02:18You wanna see him?
02:19I gotta see him
02:20You can see him for yourself
02:22He's our mugshot of the day at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com
02:25Imagine waking up
02:27I look down
02:28And this man's mouth
02:29Is upon me
02:31Yes
02:34Are you ready?
02:34I am
02:35No
02:37No
02:38Only upside
02:40No teeth
02:41But he said this guy could stay the night
02:43Yeah
02:44I don't know what I'm doing over there
02:46No, no, no
02:47He invited him in
02:49I stayed the night there
02:51Because I drank too much
02:53And smoked too much
02:54And smoked
02:54And he said
02:56Why don't you just stare at my camper?
02:58He's got stuff on his mouth
03:00But you don't stay
03:01You don't stay with him
03:03Is my point
03:03Oh, no, you don't
03:04The guy made a fatal error
03:06Yeah, no
03:07Who knows what the other guy looked like
03:09True
03:09Yeah, you're right
03:11You're right
03:12At least he had the standards
03:12To be like
03:13No, sir
03:13You may not
03:14Sexually pleasure me with your mouth
03:16And that sore on your lips
03:17Look at this guy
03:18He's like a male witch
03:20Yes, he is
03:21Yeah, he looks
03:22He looks
03:23He's got the boils
03:24And the sores
03:25I mean
03:26He does
03:27He has
03:27Look at the diseases
03:28You're gonna get
03:29You definitely have herpes
03:30Get checked out
03:31Get checked out
03:31No, you definitely
03:32You now
03:32Just one suckle
03:33And you are
03:34You're done
03:36Yeah
03:37He's a very scary looking man
03:39I guess I was
03:40I was hoping that
03:41I would hope
03:42That's not herpes
03:44And that maybe he was in an altercation once
03:47Like
03:47Cause how do you get a man off your
03:49Dude, he's got all the herpes
03:49I know
03:50And then he stabbed me as well
03:51Well, so what happened then
03:53So you wake up
03:54Yeah
03:54The Crypt Keeper's low on you
03:55You're like
03:55Get off me
03:56Yeah
03:57They began to fight
03:59The Crypt Keeper grabs a knife
04:03Uh-huh
04:04And cuts the guy several times
04:06Before he's able to get out of the camper
04:08Oh my god
04:10That's a rough 70
04:11Yeah, it is
04:13Oh, it's
04:13That's like
04:14I mean
04:14He doesn't
04:15112
04:15Right
04:16Yeah, he looks like he's about to die
04:18It's crazy to be like
04:19I'm tired
04:20I don't know where to sleep
04:21I guess this guy in his camper
04:23Yeah
04:23Nope
04:25This guy's camper seems comfortable
04:26I don't even know what you're doing
04:28Drinking with this guy
04:29I don't even know
04:29I would never drink with this man
04:31No, of course not
04:32Who knows
04:33Some people are
04:34Take pity on people
04:35Or just
04:36Or a grinder
04:36Maybe gone bad
04:37Yeah
04:38Yeah, it could be anything
04:38No, this man was not into it
04:41No, he's not
04:41At all
04:42This man was
04:43This man was totally
04:45But the other man was not
04:46He does look like the Crypt Keeper
04:48He looks like the Crypt Keeper
04:49Right before he became the Crypt Keeper
04:50Exactly
04:51Like whatever
04:51They're like
04:52You're about to be the Crypt Keeper
04:53He's like
04:54I'm ready
04:55Alright, I'll tell all the weird stories on HBO
04:58Yeah
04:58That's him
05:02I love blowing people though
05:05That's a twist
05:07That's a twist I never expected
05:08No
05:08From the Crypt Keeper
05:09No
05:09The Crypt Keeper's origins
05:10Oh man
05:12Who knew I was just a pervert
05:14I'll tell you a story
05:18That makes it even crazier, creepier to me
05:21Yeah
05:21He needs the outfit though
05:23To help
05:24Yeah
05:24Oh, well sure
05:25The Crypt Keeper had crazy outfits
05:27Sometimes he'd just be wearing like a nightgown type thing
05:30Yeah
05:31Other times he'd be all dressed up
05:33Yeah, this guy might have been in a nightgown
05:35I'm gonna guess
05:36A long
05:38A long man
05:39Nightgown
05:40Yeah, I'm gonna guess he was
05:42I feel like he might have been
05:44Death by suckle is not how you wanna go
05:46Your mouth was upon me
05:48And then you stabbed me a bunch of times
05:49Right, I'm the victim already
05:51Yeah, I feel like the charges are never enough
05:53Like, aggravated assault doesn't sound strong enough for what I went through
06:00If I'm the other man
06:02He was upon me
06:05And then stabbed me
06:07He was nude
06:08He was nude
06:09I was
06:11Asleep enjoying it
06:13I can only assume he was probably also aroused
06:16Oh, yeah
06:16Oh my god, James
06:18I'm guessing
06:19Wrinkly, saggy skin
06:20Oh, stop
06:20I'm guessing it was a full-on nude fight
06:22I mean, he's got all those
06:23Probably all those like liver marks all over his butt
06:25Oh, yeah
06:25Those brown spots
06:26It's bad
06:26Yeah
06:27It's bad
06:28He is one of the ugliest people you've ever seen in your life
06:31That's not his only big mole
06:32Oh, man
06:34He's got monkey pox on his face
06:35Oh, right
06:36He's got all the poxes
06:37Oh, God
06:38Imagine then you got the monkey pox
06:40Oh, and then you get monkey pox
06:41Because this guy suckled you in your sleep
06:43Oh, God
06:43How'd you get the pox, sleep suckled?
06:46I got the monkey suckled
06:47He monkey suckled me
06:52Wakey, wakey, wakey
06:55Oh, that's a nightmare
06:57That is a nightmare
06:58No
06:59This guy hugged me
07:00I got the monkey
07:02You
07:03You
07:03You
07:05You
07:09You
07:09You
07:10You
07:10You
07:11You
07:12You
07:12You