9-21-23 TT
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00freak show my wife opened up a box of college stuff with her friends that were over for the
00:05weekend old pictures flyers from parties just junk from their dorm and while they drank and
00:11they laughed i cooked on the grill and kept bringing in food it was just good to see her
00:15have a good time while i was coming in i heard them reading letters that were from her old
00:20boyfriend i didn't say anything but sitting there and listening in the kitchen had me
00:26with a lot of questions why is she holding on to all of this stuff 12 years after we've left
00:31college i don't like it but i kept my cool can i ask her to toss these things out just on sheer
00:38respect um i mean if you want to you can definitely bring it up and and see how she feels about the
00:44situation is your guy playing himself you shouldn't care if he right he should it's not a big deal
00:50what's the energy he's asking you for do you do you feel he's light for asking yes like this is
00:56such an unimportant thing in the grand scheme of relationship set issues i think you're trying
01:01to search for something that's wrong in your relationship right now because maybe things
01:05are just going so right maybe you have a really good relationship and now this is like one little
01:09bump it's really nothing if if you really bother you definitely talk to her about it but i mean you
01:15guys have been together for 12 13 years sit down i think relax i think one of the biggest things that
01:20holds people back in relationships is them thinking about the past especially a past that you're not
01:24even a part of um if she's past it and she like you can't get mad at her for holding on to it she
01:30probably forgot that they were even in there my only advice is um if you've been with her that long
01:36and you've never heard about it or never seen her reminiscing in this box or whatever then it's a
01:41moot point yeah just let it go it ain't even worth it because if you end up you know riding out on her
01:46like that then she's not going to share anything else with you so you make it a big deal so don't
01:50play yourself yeah what we got all right out of the 813 anyone can answer this just need an answer
01:54am i wrong for being aggravated that as of recently every female i done hit up to date not hook up with
02:01but legitimately day uh grow etc plays games or says you're super sweet i don't know if we can date
02:09though oh you're getting the same thing from all the girls well maybe all the girls you're going
02:13maybe your picker is off at the moment no it's that you're a good dude and they don't like good dudes
02:18good dudes don't make it in this world like as far as the dating world the world yeah the dating
02:23world nah you don't want you want him to change who he is no i'm i'm saying that you're a good dude
02:28they're going to play you until they get hurt enough times and i mean and this is just keeping
02:33it a buck the girls that are out there that are like a problem are the ones that want the bad guy
02:38bad guy hurts you the good guy picks you up and puts you back together then you go back to the bad
02:43guy because you ain't done yet because you're bored and you mess around and you get hurt again
02:47and the big guy and a good guy puts you together and then you have an epiphany and you're like
02:51why am i messing around you so good to me you keep picking me up and picking me up from dante's house
02:59and blah blah blah and then he gets his shot yeah and that's it and it probably ain't gonna work out
03:04because she's gonna want to go back to the bad dude because ain't nothing like some bullet wounds
03:07and love yeah dude you gotta stop being the friend zone guy you're the friend zone guy to
03:12thine own self be true be yourself but just know it comes at a cost yeah the bad guys gonna always
03:18get more shots at you but when the good guys get they shot they nail it and then get in and it's
03:24just on the luck of the draw i think ladies have to find a love for the good guy when they've gone
03:30through a bunch of frogs that's when they get they start lowering their little expectations they're
03:35like maybe i don't need a thug yeah you know i'm saying when they gotta go bail them out a couple
03:39more times or somebody shoot at their car or something like that or they find a whole bunch
03:44of condoms like with two wrap with two condom wrappers missing and they're like you know what
03:49i'm sick of this i'm gonna mess around and mess with earl yeah you know like hey that guy he's the
03:53nice one fitzgerald always is a good guy um what orlando said is nothing but the truth from tina
04:00there you go yes okay out of the 727 i was seeing someone for five weeks we saw each
04:05other quite a bit at least two to three times a week we went away for two weekends separately
04:10he told me he was crazy about me frequently i was honestly crazy about him too then out of nowhere
04:16he told me it wasn't right it wasn't fitting at the time then we aren't using the same vibration
04:22that physically and spiritually we are very connected but there was something missing that hasn't been
04:28there before and he ghosted me after that um i got divorced several years ago and this is the
04:33first time i really liked somebody i feel so heartbroken what do i do get over it get over it
04:41like honestly you said five weeks five the what we need to do as a dating public is figure out what
04:47timing deserves your energy if you've dated somebody for five weeks realize that's like five weeks on a
04:54job if you quit a job after five weeks are they gonna be like how dare you nope you figured it out
04:59yeah you found out that job wasn't for you this relationship wasn't for him he gave it five weeks
05:04and decide y'all ain't in love five weeks you ain't committed to each other it sounded like a
05:09love bombing situation five weeks ain't that five weeks of anything five weeks of a diet ain't gonna
05:14change your life five weeks of a relationship ain't gonna change your life five weeks of a job
05:18ain't gonna change five weeks ain't nothing yeah and you can't take the things that he was saying
05:23with much validity because it's the honeymoon stage he's obviously tell you the things that
05:26both of y'all saying stuff that don't matter yeah you're saying the things that you want to hear
05:30you kind of also sound like you were an option for him to just switch up like that you probably
05:35chose another option that he really liked that's how dating is these days yeah you ain't get chose
05:40yeah you didn't get chosen and sitting and reminiscing about it might feel like you having your own
05:46personal notebook but you're not you're not you was five weeks in you was an option you were at the
05:53buffet and he decided that he didn't want to do any more prime rib he wanted to go over to the
05:57chicken wings all right so you just sit there and be prime rocking with demesman in dover it is your
06:02therapy thursday we like to talk it out work it out give you some some options to hear some truth
06:08sometimes it hurts sometimes you know it might be something that you needed to hear yeah we have one
06:14on the line that is a bomb you need to answer um okay he says uh d d from orlando d is on the phone
06:23hey d how's it going oh it's different man it's different different all right talk to us what's
06:29going on i got a call from some family members tuesday night uh a young lady reached out to them
06:34on ancestry.com uh short version of a long story i have a 25 year old daughter that i found out about
06:41two days ago you have a 25 year old daughter and you didn't know oh no yeah two days ago wow okay
06:48so before we even jump in anything how do you feel i don't know how to feel though uh in the beginning
06:55it was fear because there was one person i'm like okay well we left on bad terms and i hope it wasn't
07:00that mom it's not so you don't even know which mom it is well i found out yesterday afternoon okay
07:06yeah so now i know but again that first day was just like whoa okay now you're trying to play back
07:12and you're talking about this is 97. like it was popping in 97 huh yeah it was popping in 97 boy
07:19you was you was two-way in a motorola two-way page in each other you was doing it up dmx was hot
07:23wow so apparently you know because then my second fear was you know did she have resentment you know
07:29never had a father never had this never had that apparently the mom was also in a relationship
07:33with somebody and he decided well regardless who's it is and he knew it's my daughter or my
07:38child we're gonna so she she was raised with love and with parents dude getting and get or engaged
07:44gonna get married next year in law school works at a law firm like everything is amazing but she had
07:48a health care i guess she took the vaccine and had a stroke recently a mild stroke recently so
07:55everything is good but when they did the dna check and it's like okay well yeah he's not your dad
07:59damn so she's just found out too holy crap yeah wow so so now um so i mean what can we answer for
08:06you other than the fact that you know you have this this beautiful daughter that people have raised
08:11and kind of you haven't had a part in it so even though you're proud of where she is it's like how
08:15can you get in and and and maybe become a part of that is that what you want to do that's exactly
08:21it like how do i add to it without taking away if someone's already amazing life i think and not
08:26being selfish at all i don't think it's selfish you should definitely talk to her on the phone
08:30facetime and ask her to meet up maybe go to lunch a long extended sit down where you guys can really
08:35talk about each other's lives and differences and get to know one each other i think if anything um
08:41you sit down with her and you say listen i'd um i i don't want to come in and and undermine
08:47anything that you've had in your life because you've had parents who've built you up and helped you get
08:52to this place but uh i have a part of you that i've just found out about and i would love to
08:59maybe answer some of the questions that you might wonder about i mean about your family about who you
09:05know your bloodline about any of that stuff that you know is the are the things that you've maybe
09:10wondered why these things happen and maybe i can answer some of that i'm not trying to undermine
09:15anything make that clear and just be like i just i didn't know you were even here and to to be able to
09:22be a part of your circle would be you know a blessing yeah and just keep it there and and let
09:28her decide how close she wants to be to you okay you're the adult she's an adult you know 25 years
09:35old but you're the old elder statesman so just make sure that you keep a space open for her so she can
09:41do it as she might want to jump in your arms or she might want to you know be pensive about it so
09:45let her move closer to you kind of like you would do with a puppy like let a puppy choose you
09:50you know what i mean not equating your daughter as a puppy but no no no i got you i got you okay
09:56hey this is congratulations man you know what yeah you you got a new family member and a new
10:01source of love out there so you know you you tap into that however you feel free yeah hey orlando
10:06it's a girl hey yeah you got your girl dad your girl dad now what all right man take it easy and
10:13congratulations all right man appreciate it that's what's up wow that's crazy somebody just said
10:18i didn't know my real father i found out in my 20s why would you not share that especially well
10:23maybe they didn't know no the mom knew they knew and she had to find out at the hospital when she
10:29just had a mild stroke that's messed up sorry somebody just wrote out of the 904 who hurt
10:34orlando damn he killing them with truth bombs you're not being uh you're not sugarcoating
10:39that's it man it's just like it's that gluten and keto yeah i had me i had me some gluten and
10:44some carbs yesterday this one out of the 863 my boyfriend acts different towards me around his
10:51mother like i'm annoying and he isn't happy but when we're home he is lovey-dovey oh should i just
10:57end things oh you got some mommy issues do you huh stop you want to make me look bad in front of your
11:04mom yes and then when we go home oh you want all the loving and the caring and you want my sex but
11:10when i'm in front of your family or your mother who you hold up so high now i'm i'm the enemy that's
11:14just somebody who's not you their their mom is not used to seeing them in a relationship and they're
11:19not used to their mom seeing them in a relationship someone needs to grow up right but until he does
11:24like he you have to realize if the relationship is worth it for you how how how long is he around his
11:29mom once a week two times a week so so is it that is that so much of an inconvenience yes it
11:35really is not it is an inconvenience because you're embarrassing me and now i feel uncomfortable
11:40now i don't even want to be around your mom or you with your mom y'all if y'all don't understand
11:44how i would be dating merida wait a minute no no no you need to make me feel comfortable around
11:49your family make me feel like i'm a part of the family right but i'm saying like if he's not
11:55if he's not comfortable like some people aren't comfortable showing emotion around
12:00their family because their family hasn't seen it like if you've never dated somebody around them
12:05you don't know how to be kissy and you don't have to do that in front of moms it's like yeah right
12:09and that's what she's saying he's like he's not all on me except when we at home but when we ride
12:14his mama he's not and what he's not comfortable that way your mother wants nothing more than to see
12:18you happy and i don't want my mama watching me make out with people that's not what we're talking about
12:22i'm talking about i don't know a hug or holding my hand or pulling out my chair before we all sit
12:27down at a meal that's what i'm talking about nothing inappropriate and you need to grow up
12:30but what if what if somebody at 863 said struck a note from my girl merida let that girl grow off
12:35devil's advocate though what if she is just being super extra around the mom and doing things that
12:40do annoy him i don't know some girls some girls are comfortable being sexual around adults and some
12:46guys who are respectful though their moms are not and so that's a little bit of a battle you just got
12:51to get more comfortable with each other she got to stop pressing and he got to stop backing away
12:55if she stops pressing he'll stop backing away i think it's going to be ignored you ain't got to
12:59be trying to bust it wide open in front of my mama i'm a christian woman she's not the one to see all
13:03that and take it from a guy who doesn't see his mom a lot when i see my mom i put all my attention
13:08towards my mother i guess because i don't see her that much and you are mama's boy according to
13:13all right wait this comes out of the 813 it says tell me if y'all spitting facts answer this why do
13:22people who cheat on you always end up in a new relationship after you bust them cheating you want
13:29to go out and have all that you want but now you want to go get a girlfriend make it make sense
13:33i think some of these people don't see themselves as maybe a serial cheater and so once they're done
13:39with a relationship where they cheated they're hopeful that it's not going to happen again and
13:44so if they keep doing it and they're keep making mistakes they don't look at themselves as the
13:48mistake but really they are the deal is they like variety right but they're not being honest like
13:54what they like more than variety they like having a chance to get caught oh like the cheaters
14:01cheaters can't be who they are without somebody to cheat on okay so if you don't have a person
14:08then you're not living your truth if i'm a cheater and i'm like yo i got me somebody now i can go give
14:14me three extras that's because i got somebody so now if i'm single and i'm out here i'm not living my
14:20truth as a cheater i gotta have somebody who's leaning on me and keeping it tight at home and then i can be
14:27a cheater and on top of that when i don't have options yeah i gotta fall back because every
14:34cheater got a girl at home that when he ain't got anybody them legs are wide full and that's what
14:41they like something at home to lock it down that's why cheaters always going to have a home base the
14:46excitement to the cheaters is actually cheating sometimes right that excitement of being possibly
14:52being caught and all that and that's the and that's not everybody who cheats that's the real
14:56like i'm you catch them and bust them all the time yeah and then they go out and find somebody else and
15:02that's just so they can cheat on them too yeah yeah we said it earlier to thine own self be true
15:06sometimes that's not a positive sometimes that's yo yo you gotta be a gangster then that's who you
15:11gotta be yeah that's sometimes that's who you are that's who you gotta be and as the person that
15:14got cheated on and isn't with them anymore that's not your problem anymore you shouldn't be worried
15:19about that but you're still watching you see that's why you block them block them as soon as
15:23they leave your life and you get them off the island and extinguish that torch like they do
15:27on survivor and you got a couple couple times a couple minutes to grab your bags and get off this
15:32island so and then block them so you ain't gotta see all that all right therapy thursday is a wrap