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00:00Ah, okay. What am I doing? I am recording a video right now! Of Hydro Thunder!
00:18Yeah, uh, why am I doing this? Uh, why not? So, this is how we're gonna do it. We're gonna, uh,
00:24do every cup, but because I don't feel like, uh, no, we're just gonna, um,
00:33do these as how we do them.
00:37I have not wanted to present this game. I probably never will. So, when am I gonna drive?
00:43Goddamn, this control... this character select screen is... if-ing... misbehave.
00:54Three, two, one!
01:02Now, how do I feel about Hydro Thunder? I've seen this game a lot on the arcade.
01:06Uh, yeah, that's all you get in terms of what I think war was in this game.
01:13Now, am I professional at this game? Oh god, not by a mile.
01:17Do I like it? Hell yeah, I do. Misbehave is the shit. She's the easy mode, but you know what?
01:22She's my girl. Misbehave is my ride. That's how I do my dance, okay? No one's gonna stop me,
01:28misbehave, do anything. There we go. I've got two bonuses in a row. I can technically speed past
01:33the competition, but I can't. So, this track is like the only circuit track in the entire game.
01:40The other one is just get to the end. It's, um, it's actually pretty interesting that way. Uh,
01:46uh, is this a game? It's okay. But it's on the N64 version because I don't feel like I'm in my
01:52Dreamcast simulator ready to nothing run. And I know once I do get it to work, all I'm gonna be
01:56doing is playing Marvel vs. Capcom all goddamn day.
01:59this two credits killing me. It's like way back there.
02:19And I can't tell from the top of them out or the bottom. Oh goddamn it. Yeah, there we go!
02:24No! Speed it up! Misbehave is misbehavin'. Get the fuck outta here! Exactly! You got a wombo combo
02:37that should be out of here. Get outta here! Get outta here! Get outta here! I'm a bitch! I'm a force! Get outta here!
02:47And because this game's AI is wonky as hell, that's gonna catch up to me in like 30 seconds.
02:56Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Get outta here!
03:01Alright, I'm a force. If I'm lucky, I'll try to come and suck you, cause I hate racing god damn my eyes.
03:08Goddamn it! Get outta here!
03:12They're second places, right up there.
03:13Goddamn it!
03:15Here we go!
03:18You're not gonna stop me! Here we go!
03:24Yeah, second place! I'm the best!
03:37Yeah, oh, I'll be my time by one second. Okay.
03:39Uh, alright, who am I gonna be as this? Cause I, um, who am I gonna be for this stage?
03:47I came to this commentary having no idea what I'm gonna talk about.
03:49Ha ha ha!
03:56Mmm.
04:01I'm gonna be on the top.
04:02Wait, no!
04:03I already did this track.
04:04I am done.
04:13My head will get in the game when I go back and record, uh, Mario Party Part 2.
04:17Oh yeah.
04:31Let's go, baby.
04:32You're gonna screech like a banshee.
04:33Let's go, baby.
04:40Because this is an Activision game, or racing game, there's gonna be a lot of shortcuts.
04:45I don't remember all of them. Uh, when you get to, uh,
04:47uh, the ship Greggard, which is my personal favorite stage, uh, in this game, there's a lot of shortcuts.
04:55But if you know what it was, basic knowledge of gaming history, you can tell exactly where
04:59each shortcut is. Like behind the waterfall. Cause everything's always behind the waterfall in the game.
05:06Nine seconds of boost.
05:08I could use this right now, but no, I'm not. God damn this thing feels weird to drive.
05:12It's not, uh, I'm so used to misbehave, again, but she's super easy.
05:15My girl!
05:19I think I already know exactly what I'm going to make up the thumbnails for these videos now.
05:23I know people aren't really into fem-meta, uh, but for this kind of game, I, I, I want to play a little bit.
05:37So, I can't go, I can't hold on much longer.
05:42I messed up, oh no! Not behind that waterfall.
05:53Right idea, wrong caliber.
05:57Yeah, the effing boats.
06:04It's like crossing my dick in the cheerio, just turn.
06:06Now, I, I have a lot of things to say about this game. The next stage is Arctic Circle, and that's when the NPCs
06:18have really become annoying. Uh, with this track, they're not so bad. They'll, they'll occasionally-
06:22Oh, there, there goes monkey! I killed the monkey!
06:24Wow!
06:25AAAAAAAA!
06:27So, the, the, the monkey's gone.
06:30And now we're coming up to this.
06:31God damn it!
06:39Tight turn ahead and take my dick!
06:43Here we go!
06:50Yeah, I'm going to be in the fourth or fifth.
06:52I'm going to be in the fourth or fifth.
06:57Does it matter?
07:01My best time was 149, god damn it.
07:03Yeah, I see misbehaving is the way to go in this game. I don't care what everybody says.
07:18She's the GOAT.
07:22God damn it!
07:22Last stage for this part.
07:36I've got to figure out exactly which vehicle I want to ride for the rest of the game.
07:40I don't like any of the hard vehicles, and the bonus vehicles are all kind of memes.
07:44Like, I want to drive the Titanic in the Arctic Circle. Isn't it a bit mean-spiritist?
07:52Alright, here we go.
07:53F-ing load skills.
07:57Now, this stage itself isn't exactly bad.
08:01No, it is bad.
08:02A lot of the racetracks in this game are, I think, are just flat-out horrible.
08:07But this one introduces the gimmick I was talking about the last one, where the NPCs get in your way
08:12every step of the way, because this game has so much to render on one stage, and the NPCs-
08:19By NPCs, I don't even mean, like, the other racers. The other racers, they're fine, uh,
08:24like, the hard stages is when they're playing the dick, because it's- it's basically- you're a midget
08:30in a wheelchair in a race with Sonic the goddamn Hedgehog. If you think you stand a chance,
08:34you're either delusional, or you just want to find a way to commit suicide faster than him.
08:38So, the gimmick with this one, again, it introduces it in this stage. I wonder if I can actually make it.
08:44No, I can't. Because I did the thing wrong, because that's my fault.
08:48I can't.
08:52No!
08:55I think I'm gonna use the trash for the rest of this. It doesn't- it doesn't- it doesn't- it doesn't
08:58feel as good as the misbehaved, because she misbehaved.
09:02Look at these graphics! What an incredible- we got a nice reflection, partially.
09:07You're not gonna see the reflection of the real goddamn moat, so I don't think it really matters.
09:12There's another boost. Goddamn it, misbehaved- no, you're not misbehaved, you're man-sheet!
09:16All right, that moat right there, uh, because the- these things have a set path,
09:21and I just missed the shortcut, because when you take the shortcuts, you don't get the extra NPCs
09:26in your way. Like that moat up there, it has a nice normal path. But, uh, the moment you get close to it,
09:32it speeds up. So anytime- oh, wow! I just went through that thing. Check this out, see?
09:37Yeah, the- the boats will try to- will speed up along with you on your path, which, you know,
09:46there's nothing wrong with it. It's just, uh, goddamn annoying when you're trying to race,
09:51and they just won't- stop. And if you hit them, you lose speed for it.
10:00I like the other guy. All right, a single good stage. Which one's cold right now? No,
10:06it's nothing winter, and it's gonna be 70 degrees today.
10:09Oh, I went through the orca! I knew I could do that! Clumping- here we go!
10:13Oh! Yes, I just run ahead. Here we go! Now, if anybody can't hear the soundtrack,
10:19I'm sorry, this game's audio is legendarily known for being complicated. Can I get back?
10:24Yeah! Yeah!
10:32Fifth place. What about my high score? Still can't beat Misbehave God-yew.
10:37But that was, uh, part one of, uh, Hydro Thunder. This is gonna be like four parts anyway,
10:45so it doesn't really matter. Uh, when we come back, we're gonna continue the adventures of, uh, Y.