Frasier Season 3 Episode 23 The Focus Group
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00:00You got something on your mind?
00:21It's Joe.
00:22Tonight's our six-month anniversary,
00:24but we can't celebrate until next week
00:27because he's flying to Las Vegas with his buddies.
00:30Oh, Vegas, huh? Great.
00:33Well, tell him not to miss the show at the Diamond Lounge.
00:36A topless history of the world.
00:39But they still got the same Bathsheba
00:41he's in for a real treat.
00:44Oh, yes, that's just where I want Joe
00:46spending our anniversary.
00:48Some smutty show in Vegas.
00:50No, it's very tasteful and historically accurate.
00:54Except at the end, where Eleanor Roosevelt,
00:57Naver Braun, settled World War II
00:59by wrestling and pudding.
01:06Oh, hello, Dr. Crane.
01:08Daphne.
01:09Oh, no, I thought we owe this pleasure.
01:11To an unscrupulous art dealer
01:13who was trying to rob me blind.
01:14Last night, I was at a gallery opening.
01:16Is this going to be a long story?
01:19Moderately.
01:20Walk and talk.
01:21Anyway, I was at this opening
01:25in conversation
01:26when I made a rather emphatic point
01:27about pointillism.
01:28Ah.
01:29When I lost the grip on my canapé
01:31and found that it became airborne.
01:34Oh.
01:35The next thing I know,
01:36I'm being confronted
01:37by an irate gallery owner
01:38who's demanding I reimburse him
01:40for the damage to one of his paintings.
01:43How he could notice a fleck of foie gras
01:45on a Jackson Pollock is beyond me.
01:47He's getting an estimate
01:50just to protect myself.
01:52I seem to recall you
01:53knowing a trustworthy art restorer.
01:55Oh, yes, I do, actually.
01:56I saved my life last year
01:58and Eddie licked my Lichtenstein.
02:00So, I'll get you his card.
02:02Oh, thank you.
02:05You free for lunch today?
02:06Oh, sadly, no.
02:08Well, the radio station is subjecting my program to something they call a focus group this afternoon.
02:15Dinner, perhaps.
02:17Oh, perfect.
02:18And what exactly is a focus group?
02:20Well, they actually drag a pack of people off the street and make them listen to my program
02:25and then dutifully record their opinions about it.
02:27How demeaning.
02:28Oh, absolutely.
02:29Can you imagine Sigmund Freud being dragged into a room full of Viennese laymen
02:34to hear remarks like, hate that edible thing, but oh, love the penis envy.
02:38I mean, really.
02:41The worst thing is that they may make me change my show in deference to the opinion of Joe Sixpack.
02:47You're worrying too much.
02:49I was on a focus group once.
02:51That sound you hear is a nail being hammered into my coffin.
02:58They were trying out a new frozen snack.
03:01It was a meatball with a cheese injected right in the middle.
03:09Just as nature intended.
03:18Dr. Niles Crane.
03:20Ah.
03:20So.
03:22You have the estimate?
03:24What?
03:24$4,000 to remove a minuscule gobbet of duck liver?
03:34I could do the same thing with a Q-tip and some club seltzer.
03:38Oh, well, you may very well say pay up or else, but I have something to say to you.
03:42Yeah?
03:44I was the one who was fooling around with the baby sitter.
03:48Shut up!
03:48No, you shut up!
03:50Oh, please, I have enough aggravation without having to listen to a stupid talk show.
03:55Honestly, the only life forms lower than the people who peer on those shows are the ones
04:00who watch them.
04:02Like me.
04:03But, oh, no, I didn't realize that you were...
04:07Oh, no, no, no, that's quite all right.
04:09Although I do find it interesting that I get criticized for listening to people's problems
04:15when all you do is get rich from it.
04:18Truly, Daphne, even you can see the difference between cheap sensationalism and the practice
04:22of psychiatry.
04:24Oh, even me?
04:26As in even feeble-minded Daphne?
04:29Well, I'll tell you what I can tell the difference between a true gentleman and a condescending
04:34prig.
04:35I am not!
04:38What if he said priggishly?
04:43Forgive me if I'm not as down-to-earth as you and your tattooed, moo-moo-wearing brethren.
04:50You pompous twit!
04:52Couch zombie!
04:53Snob!
04:54Rat!
04:55Oh, shut up!
04:56Oh, you shut up!
04:57Why do we turn off the TV?
04:59Oh, Dr. Crean, I'm so sorry.
05:08I'm just so upset at you.
05:09I didn't mean a word of it.
05:11Daphne, I apologize.
05:12I had no idea what came over me.
05:13I was angry on the phone and I called you a couch zombie.
05:16I didn't mean to do a thing like that.
05:17I was just, you know, I've got friends.
05:18Oh, of course.
05:29What was that all about?
05:31I'm not sure, but, oh, mama, it was glorious.
05:35Blood-pounding, sarcastic zingers flying.
05:45Are you saying that you enjoyed fighting with Daphne?
05:48Every exhilarating moment.
05:50It was pure, unbridled passion.
05:53I think I still have some of her spittle on my forehead.
06:00Oh, why did Dad ever tell us not to fight with girls?
06:04It's wonderful.
06:07The friction between us.
06:09Now, is this going to be a long description?
06:11Very.
06:12Walk and talk.
06:13Oh, the friction between us.
06:15Me and I felt it turning up my body.
06:17My name was coming out of my ear.
06:23By showering a reluctant girlfriend with gifts, Billy,
06:26you're applying a band-aid to a gaping wound.
06:30My advice is to find someone who will return your worthy affection
06:33or sooner or later.
06:35Your wallet, as well as your bed, will be empty.
06:39I see we're out of time.
06:41Thank you for listening.
06:42This is Dr. Fraser Crane wishing you all good mental health.
06:46Okay, let's talk about Dr. Crane's show.
06:52Now, I know you've been eyeing this two-way mirror,
06:54but the only people behind there are data consultants.
06:57So please, speak freely.
06:59There's no one involved with the show whose feelings could be hurt.
07:02If anybody says anything bad about me, I'll kill myself.
07:06Well, I was going to let you do a perfectly good show.
07:10We're not going to change it one iota.
07:12Only a fool would listen to the opinion of every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
07:15I liked everything about it.
07:17On the other hand, it's good to keep an open mind.
07:21I like that Ross.
07:22I think her voice is really sexy.
07:25Especially that throaty laugh of hers.
07:28Wow, that's nice.
07:30I didn't know I had a throaty laugh.
07:33You do.
07:33I've noticed it, too.
07:35Really?
07:37Oh, you.
07:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:44Stuff he says really seems to make a lot of sense.
07:48Yeah, it's funny.
07:49I mean, he takes his caller seriously, but he can kid around with him, too.
07:54Yeah, I listen to a lot of radio, and I think this is a great show.
07:58It's a great show.
07:59I love it.
08:00I just don't know how much more of this I can listen to.
08:06Bernou, I know you've been quiet.
08:09Do you have something to say?
08:11Me?
08:11No.
08:15We'd like to hear your opinion of the program.
08:17Well, it's, I don't know, something about, I don't like it.
08:31Well, who is this cheeky nonconforist?
08:36Well, let's see, his name is Manu Habib.
08:41Married, no children, owns his own newsstand.
08:45Wow, that is so weird to hear someone's whole life summed up like that.
08:51Roz Doyle, radio producer, single.
08:55Well, getting back to your thoughts, Manu.
09:04You said there was something about the program you didn't like.
09:07Can you be more specific?
09:09Well, I don't like him.
09:17Why?
09:17I don't know.
09:19I just don't like him.
09:22Well, I do.
09:23I'm going to start listening to him all the time.
09:24It's a great show.
09:25Yeah, it's fantastic.
09:27He's wonderful.
09:27I love the show.
09:29My God.
09:30Razor, this is a love fest.
09:32I can't believe we were even worried about it.
09:34I just don't like him.
09:36Hmm.
09:39Well, looks like our coffee's here.
09:41Why don't we take a quick break, okay?
09:42Hey, sports fans.
09:46How's it going in here?
09:47Well, I've got to pretend to your show across the hall.
09:49Ah, yeah, they are.
09:51But after 10 minutes, it's just the same old, same old.
09:53Guys love me.
09:54Chicks pretend not to.
09:55Oh.
09:57Whoa!
09:59Your group's even uglier than mine.
10:02Don't knock it off.
10:03These people happen to like us.
10:05Oh, well, you guys lighten up.
10:06You've got to get in the spirit of things.
10:10This is great.
10:10I'll live for a moment like this.
10:15That's right.
10:16That's right.
10:17Go for it.
10:17Right there.
10:18Right there.
10:19Hey, fool.
10:20As long as you're in there, you might as well go out to the Wagles Rancheros you have for
10:24breakfast.
10:24Oh, stop it.
10:26Wait.
10:27Ten bucks says he eats.
10:28What do you find?
10:29Oh, that's disgusting.
10:31Come on.
10:32Come on.
10:33Come on.
10:34Come on.
10:34Bring it!
10:36Come on, Daddy!
10:37Be my wife!
10:38Come on, Daddy!
10:40I'll see you, Dad.
10:48May I assume from your dress windbreaker that you'll be joining us for dinner?
10:53Yep, but I'm making a pitch that we eat at the timber mill.
10:56I got a coupon from there that expires tomorrow.
10:59Oh.
11:00If I dine there tonight, so may I.
11:02Hello, Dr. Crane.
11:07There's the British bobcat.
11:13Now, look.
11:14She's still a little bit over the edge about this Joe thing, so you better watch your step
11:18or you're going to have a repeat of this morning.
11:20We wouldn't want that, would we?
11:22Chips, Daphne?
11:26Is that wise?
11:28What do you mean?
11:29Oh, you know what they say.
11:31Many chips make for chubby hips.
11:35Waddle, waddle, waddle.
11:37Have you lost your mind?
11:44No, no.
11:45I'm glad if I've put on a few.
11:47Now, maybe Joe will stop nagging me to plump up.
11:53Hey, first, I was the focus group.
11:56Fine, I guess.
11:58Oh.
11:59Well, you said yourself.
12:00They don't mean anything.
12:01Yes, well, it's one thing to say that.
12:03It's another to sit there being personally attacked.
12:07One man actually said,
12:09I just don't like him.
12:14Only one.
12:20I'm healing with humor.
12:24I'll stop now.
12:28I'm sure someone must have said something nice.
12:31Oh, well, the other 11 had nothing but high praise.
12:3511 out of 12 lights, you should be thrilled.
12:38FDR didn't have that kind of approval rating.
12:40I thought Churchill, for that matter.
12:43Churchill?
12:44That cigar-chomping gin blossom with a face attached?
12:52You're right about that.
12:53There's a kiss-a-lo to put you off your tea.
12:57I wish I was able to talk to this man and ask him what it is about me that he doesn't like.
13:06But I can't, you see.
13:07He was told that his comments would be kept confidential.
13:10Just forget it.
13:11Come on, let's go out to dinner.
13:13I'm buying.
13:13What is it he doesn't like about me, is he?
13:16My voice, my manner.
13:17Do I intimidate him?
13:19I don't know.
13:20What is it about you?
13:21Everybody has to love you.
13:23You know, it's like when you were in that play in high school.
13:25You got standing ovations every night.
13:27All your friends say that you're great.
13:29You got one lousy review in the school paper and you're sulked for a week.
13:33Well, you know, Dad, I like to think I've matured a bit since then.
13:36But, you know, you would have sulked, too, if you read in the paper,
13:38Mr. Crane's attempts to gyrate his hips as Conrad the teen idol in Bye Bye Birdie
13:43made this reviewer say, Bye Bye Breakfast.
13:52That review was a mash note compared to my first draft.
14:03I know just what you're going through.
14:06I once won a dance competition, hands down,
14:09but instead of celebrating,
14:11I spent the whole night fretting over me one bad score.
14:15Silly head.
14:17Idiot.
14:21Oh, I've stepped in it now.
14:26Listen here, Dr. Crane.
14:28Yeah, Daphne?
14:29All right, now, Daphne, just a moment.
14:33Try to remember what you're like when you're arguing with Joe
14:35and consider Niall's situation.
14:37He's separated.
14:38You cannot imagine the sort of emotional seesaw he's on.
14:41Not to mention the fact that he may be unaware
14:42that he's acting like a complete jackass.
14:47Of course, you're right.
14:49I'm sorry, I should be more sensitive.
14:52Well, from now on,
14:53nothing you say can make me cross with you.
14:56I suppose I had that coming.
15:09Well, I think jackass was a tad over the line.
15:12Well, just consider it payback for the headline,
15:15Crane's birdie lays an egg.
15:17Come on now, Fraser, you've got to let it go.
15:20You know, no matter who you are,
15:22no matter what you do,
15:23you can't please everybody.
15:25Well, I suppose my negative baggage
15:28is just a pound or two over the weight limit.
15:31Okay, good.
15:32Come on.
15:33Let's go have dinner.
15:34All right.
15:34This is good.
15:36This is healthy.
15:37I'm letting go.
15:38There he is.
15:53A man who doesn't bite.
15:57I knew we should have taken two cars.
16:08What the hell's the matter with you?
16:11I'm sorry, Dad.
16:13It's just that I just don't like him.
16:16It's just not specific enough.
16:20Why doesn't he like me?
16:21What difference does it make?
16:23Look, if his point was valid,
16:24then I would do something about it.
16:25If it's not, well, then I can dismiss it.
16:28Fine.
16:29Go talk to him.
16:30I can't.
16:31It's not supposed to know
16:31I was part of the focus group.
16:35You could go talk to him for me.
16:38Oh, my friend.
16:40Wow.
16:41Hey, look.
16:41If we're going to be here for a while,
16:42could we lock the doors?
16:46Relax, Niles.
16:47The neighborhood's okay.
16:48The docks are two blocks from here.
16:50So is the Ritz Carlton.
16:52Exactly.
16:52We're caught halfway between heaven and hell.
16:57All I want is more information.
16:59Dad, please.
17:00Please go talk to him for me.
17:02All right.
17:03If I get an answer for you,
17:04can we go to dinner?
17:05Okay.
17:06Fine.
17:06Oh, but wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:08No, you can't just walk up there and ask him.
17:11You'll know that I sent you.
17:13I've got to find some artful way
17:15of introducing the subject.
17:17Can we at least hide Dad's handicap sign?
17:20It sends a clear signal
17:22that we're incapable of fighting back.
17:24So do your suspenders.
17:27All right.
17:28I've got it.
17:28I've got it.
17:29You're a businessman in town from Chicago.
17:31No, no.
17:32It's too obvious.
17:33Um, from Cleveland.
17:34No one will pretend to be from Cleveland.
17:36Fine.
17:37Then we eat.
17:38Wait, wait.
17:38We're not through yet.
17:40Yes, you've had a bad sales month.
17:42And you're a little depressed.
17:43You happen to see an ad for my show
17:45on the side of a bus
17:46and you are wondering
17:47if I'm as intelligent as I look.
17:49What?
17:50Well, just word it your own way.
17:52But, um, are we clear on this note?
17:54All right.
17:55I got it.
17:56Businessman, Cleveland, depression,
17:59then eat.
18:00Yes, Dad, eat.
18:02Honestly, sometimes you become
18:03so obsessed about things.
18:08Oh, God, it's raining.
18:10Hi, I'm Marty Crane.
18:18My son's Dr. Frazier Crane.
18:20He's across the street in that BMW.
18:22No, don't look.
18:23Don't look.
18:25Oh, my God.
18:26He was behind the mirror.
18:28Boy, don't worry about it.
18:29He's not mad at you.
18:31He just wants to know
18:31why you don't like him.
18:33But I do like him.
18:35No, you don't.
18:36Oh, yes, I do.
18:38Oh, no.
18:38He heard what you said.
18:40They lied to me.
18:42They lied about the mirror.
18:45They lied about the free gift.
18:48If that's a tote bag,
18:50what the hell is a fanny pack?
18:54Look, I just need you
18:56to be a little more specific.
18:58What don't you like about him?
19:00I can't do this.
19:02I don't like to say bad things
19:04about people.
19:05And you are his father.
19:06Oh, you'd be doing me a favor.
19:08Just answer this wrong question
19:10and we'll all get out
19:11of your life forever.
19:13You're promising?
19:14Absolutely.
19:17All right.
19:19I don't know your son well,
19:22but I guess I find him
19:25just a little bit...
19:30annoying.
19:31Yeah?
19:32Annoying.
19:34Okay.
19:35You did good.
19:36Thanks.
19:36But please tell your son
19:38I'm sorry
19:39that he annoys me so much.
19:41Will do.
19:45Not yet.
19:46Not yet.
19:47Not yet.
19:48Okay.
19:49Unlock.
19:49Unlock.
20:01Mission accomplished.
20:02Good.
20:03Did he believe our story?
20:04Oh, yeah.
20:04I had him going pretty good,
20:05but that Cleveland thing
20:06really sold it.
20:09Well, we better go eat now, huh?
20:11Before he sees us together.
20:12Right.
20:13So, uh,
20:15Dad,
20:15what did he like about me?
20:16He said you annoy him.
20:17Yes?
20:20How so?
20:21Oh, I didn't ask him what.
20:23What do you mean
20:23you didn't ask him?
20:25Oh, gee.
20:26I'm sorry, Dad,
20:27but I have no idea
20:28what he's annoying me.
20:29Well, it's clear enough to me.
20:33Frazier,
20:33not to appear unsympathetic,
20:35but I've had my
20:36I'm dangerous face on so long
20:37it's starting to hurt.
20:41What is it about me
20:42he could find so annoying?
20:43Well, he mentioned something
20:44about not letting an old man eat.
20:47I'm just clear
20:49I'm going to have to do this
20:50myself, isn't it?
20:54Here.
20:58Who are you calling?
20:59No one.
21:00I just pressed 911
21:01and I'm keeping my finger
21:02poised over the send button
21:04in case there's trouble
21:05with those hooligans.
21:06Oh, do you PS men
21:07or the little girls
21:08playing in the puddles?
21:08Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:09Yes.
21:10Yes.
21:10Yes.
21:10Yes.
21:10Yes.
21:10Yes.
21:11Yes.
21:11Yes.
21:11Yes.
21:12Yes.
21:12Yes.
21:13Yes.
21:13Yes.
21:14Yes.
21:14Yes.
21:15Yes.
21:16Yes.
21:17Can I help you?
21:18Um...
21:19Yes.
21:20Yes.
21:20Um...
21:21You were recently speaking
21:23with a salesman
21:24from Cleveland.
21:26I don't think so.
21:28It was just five minutes ago
21:29that said to you...
21:29He left you
21:30and...
21:31and went over that car
21:32waiting right over there.
21:33You see?
21:36Oh, God, no.
21:37Oh, you're him.
21:38It's you.
21:39Yes.
21:39No, I know the voice.
21:40Yes, it is.
21:40I'm so sorry.
21:41I really don't mean
21:41to bother you
21:42but I would like to just
21:43talk to you for a minute.
21:45I like your show.
21:47No, you don't.
21:48Yes, I do.
21:48I like your show, and I like you.
21:51You don't.
21:52That man was my father.
21:53I like your father.
21:55That's very delightful, but you see, you told him that you find me annoying.
22:00Yes, yes, you did.
22:01Now, that's all right.
22:02I don't mind constructive criticism.
22:04It's just that I wish you could be a bit more specific.
22:07What exactly is it about me that you find so annoying?
22:09You're not annoying.
22:10Yes, I am.
22:12Well, would I be here if I wasn't?
22:14Well, I've enjoyed talking to you very much, but now it's time for my brain.
22:18Oh, no, no, no, please.
22:19Oh, boy.
22:25I'm so sorry.
22:26I am a sticky mess.
22:28Let me help you with that.
22:30No, no, no, no, no, no.
22:32It's fine.
22:33It's good.
22:33I know.
22:34Drive safely.
22:38Oh, dear God.
22:41I'm so sorry.
22:42No, no, no.
22:43Are you all right?
22:43No, no, it's fine.
22:44Let me look at it.
22:45No, no.
22:46I am a doctor.
22:47No, I just go to the restaurant to put ice on it.
22:51All right, I'll hold down the fort here.
22:54Glad to be in help.
22:58He's crushed the gentleman's hand, and now he appears to be commandeering his newsstand.
23:05Oh, Lord, smoking in the worst place is vile.
23:16How much for the paper?
23:17Oh, yes.
23:18Well, it would be 50 cents.
23:25Thank you so much.
23:25There we are.
23:26Excuse me.
23:27Are you Dr. Crane from the radio?
23:30Well, yes, I am.
23:31Oh, I just never miss your show.
23:34I love you.
23:36I guess you get tired of hearing that.
23:37Oh, occupational hazard.
23:39Um, would you mind?
23:43I wouldn't mind at all.
23:46To Amanda.
23:47Amanda.
23:48Mm-hmm.
23:49It's a pleasure.
23:50What are you doing here, anyway?
23:53Oh, oh, well, you see, let me explain.
23:57You see, the, uh, radio station conducted a little audience survey today, and, um, although
24:05the response was favorable from 11 out of 12 of the participants...
24:09Is that smoking?
24:10Well, some people, I consider it smoking, but, you see, for me, it affects...
24:15Fire!
24:16Fire!
24:17Oh, what happened?
24:18Oh, my God!
24:19Get out of the bus!
24:20Oh, my God!
24:29Frasier set his newsstand on fire.
24:34Mm-hmm.
24:38Three, two, one, two, one.
24:41Little, three, two, two, one.
24:53All right.
24:53Three, two, one.
24:54Three, two, one, two, one.
24:56Oh, my God.
24:58Three, two, one, one, two, one.
25:00Okay.
25:01Oh, my God.
25:03May I?
25:08Look, I know there's nothing I can say right now to make you feel any better,
25:13but rest assured I will be financially responsible for everything.
25:21All this because you had to know why I do not like you.
25:28Well, you were kind of vague.
25:31You want to know why?
25:33I'll tell you why.
25:35I think you are a smarty pants.
25:40I was too polite to say that before, but then you spied on me.
25:46You stalked me.
25:48You badgered me.
25:49You poured Yoo-Hoo down my dockers.
25:51You crunched my hand.
25:54And then as if all that was not enough, you burned down my newsstand, my livelihood,
26:00a gift to me from my beloved uncle.
26:03May he rest in peace.
26:07Was that so hard?
26:09Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling, tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:30And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:36Yeah, maybe.
26:37But I got you pegged.
26:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:41But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:47They're calling again.
26:53Scrambled eggs all over my face.
26:56What is a boy to do?
26:58Good night!