Frasier Season 3 Episode 24 You Can Go Home A Gain
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00:00This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you all good mental health.
00:07Happy anniversary!
00:09Oh, Ross, Ross, oh, this is so much fun, Ross, I got you one, too.
00:12Oh, thank you, Frasier, okay, you first.
00:14Okay.
00:17I mean, it's nothing, really.
00:18It's not expensive or anything, you probably won't even like it.
00:21I'm not good at gifts.
00:22Don't oversell it, Ross.
00:26It's tape.
00:30The Dr. Frasier Crane Show.
00:35Show number one, May 21st, 1993.
00:41It's our first broadcast.
00:43Oh, Ross, I can't wait to listen to this.
00:47Did you ever think I'd stay on the air this long?
00:49Oh, hell no.
00:54To Ross, who believed in me from the start.
00:58Yes, it's from Hallmark's irony section.
01:07Oh, Frasier, they're beautiful earrings.
01:11Thank you, thank you.
01:12You deserve them.
01:14Working side by side for three years, one can't help but become close friends.
01:18And they're blue to match your lips when they're cold.
01:29Oh, Mum, it's not that I don't want to come home.
01:33I'd love a visit.
01:35It's just that I can't.
01:37He won't let me.
01:38Oh, you have no idea what Dr. Crane is like.
01:43Well, he's an absolute beast.
01:46Unpleasant to be around.
01:48A real tyrant.
01:52It's just me, Mum.
01:53I'm trying to get out of a visit home.
01:55Oh, I understand.
01:57Oh.
01:59No, I'm not exaggerating.
02:02He treats me like a bloody slave.
02:04Daphne, where's my dressing gown?
02:10Not to mention how cheap he is.
02:13That better not be a long-distance call.
02:17Yes, yeah.
02:18It does sound a lot like Aunt Lillian.
02:26I've got to run, Mum.
02:27No, love you, bye.
02:29I'm sorry.
02:30You must think I'm a terrible daughter.
02:32No, not at all.
02:32I think you're a terrible liar, Daphne.
02:35A perfectly run-of-the-mill daughter.
02:38It's just that I only get one vacation a year,
02:41and I want to go somewhere fun like Acapulco.
02:44That makes sense.
02:45Ah, and going home is just so flippin' boring.
02:49It's always the same.
02:51There's a wonderful reunion at the airport,
02:55and we share all our news on the way home in the car.
02:59And by the time I've dropped off my suitcase,
03:02we've exhausted all conversation.
03:04That's when I realise I've got a whole week
03:08with nothing to look forward to
03:10but Dad telling the story of how he once shared a cigar
03:14with Winston Churchill during the blackouts.
03:18He thinks.
03:19Well, that sounds like an easy decision, Daphne.
03:23Hasta luego.
03:26Oh, Dr. Crane,
03:29why is it so easy to love our families
03:32yet so hard to like them?
03:35Well, Daphne,
03:36that is one of those questions
03:37that makes life so rich
03:39and psychiatrists richer.
03:42Oh, well, maybe I'll just go call a travel agent
03:48and see which guilt trip is more expensive.
03:59Good afternoon, Seattle.
04:03My name is Dr. Frasier Crane.
04:07If you can feel,
04:10I can heal.
04:11Fasten your seatbelt, Eddie.
04:13It's going to be a bumpy ride.
04:41I can feel,
04:45I can feel,
04:46thank you.
05:19Hello, you're on the air with Dr. Frasier Crane.
05:25Put your head in my hands.
05:34Hello.
05:40Hello.
05:44Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
05:49La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
05:53Little Owlet in the Glen, I'm ashamed of you.
05:56You are ungrammatical in speaking as you do.
05:58You should say to whom, to whom, not to who, to who.
06:01Your little friend Miss Katie did.
06:03Maybe Green, tis true.
06:05But you never heard her saying, who the hell are you?
06:07I'm Roz Doyle, your new producer
06:11Roz producer?
06:12Dr. Crane, I've seen
06:13Yes, yes, but where's Dave?
06:15He got another assignment
06:16But I was comfortable with Dave
06:19Look, Dr. Crane, I know you've been thrown a curve, but everything's going to be fine
06:24But I did a mock show with Dave, I did mock callings, mock commercials, mock news bulletins
06:30Look, I've got a bulletin for you
06:31Dave's out, I'm in, and stop saying mock
06:34Look, Mr. Doyle, I'm sure you're quite capable
06:40But Dave has 15 years of experience, so I'd really prefer that he do it
06:44Well, that would make two of us, wouldn't it?
06:47You know, I really think I should call management and ask for Dave
06:52It's not really fair to Dave or to me
06:54Dr. Crane, Dave dumped you
06:59Why?
07:04We were here until 2am this morning
07:11As I explained to Dave in meticulous detail my philosophy of optimal mental health
07:18It's a mystery, all right
07:20Okay, look, I'm going to screen a few calls before you start
07:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, as I explained to Dave before, there will be no call screening
07:29You see, I want my show to be fresh and spontaneous
07:31And call screening squelches, all of that
07:33And the mystery of Dave's departure deepens
07:36Okay, you're on in five seconds, I'll give you a cue
07:40Good afternoon, Seattle
07:58My name is Dr. Frasier Crane
08:04If you can feel, I can heal
08:10Let's see who's on line one
08:19Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane
08:22You're on the couch
08:25No, I'm not
08:27I meant on the metaphorical couch
08:31I'm in a beanbag chair, okay?
08:38Moving on then
08:39How can I help you?
08:42It's about my husband
08:44Look, I just can't do this
08:47It's really too embarrassing for me
08:48No, no, no, please, please, dear friend
08:50You must
08:51I'm really here to help you
08:53Please, go ahead
08:54I've tried and I've tried
09:11And I just don't know what to do about this
09:14Well, you know
09:17Often in these cases
09:19It helps if you restate your problem
09:21But this time
09:23Try boiling it down to one succinct sentence
09:26Now, how would you do that?
09:29My husband is dead
09:30Well, perhaps we should go back to the wordy version
09:38Well, we'll be right back after these important messages
09:44Of course I can do a gardening show
09:50If I can grow plants in my dorm room closet
09:53I must know a thing or two about corticulture
09:55Are you trying to get transferred?
10:00Look, Dr. Crane
10:03I've got to be honest with you here
10:05It's just that
10:07I think psychiatry
10:10Is just
10:11Sort of
10:12Kind of
10:13Bull
10:14Well
10:15This is a match made in heaven then, isn't it?
10:18Oh, don't be offended
10:19Don't be offended
10:20Why should I be offended?
10:22In the last week
10:23I've uprooted myself
10:24From my home of 15 years
10:25Moved all the way across the country
10:27Away from everything I care about
10:28And plunged myself
10:30Into a frightening new career
10:31In the first few nerve-wracking moments
10:33I walk in here and find my producer
10:35Lobbying to get herself transferred to another show
10:39Abe Lincoln
10:40Had a brighter future
10:42When he picked up his tickets at the box office
10:44Okay, you've got to make the caller get to the point
11:07And then for God's sake
11:08So should you
11:09Too lean out here
11:11Number 24
11:14You know what?
11:18You're starting to glaze
11:20We can go through the rest of this tomorrow
11:22See you, Frasier
11:24Bye, Roz
11:26Oh, excuse me
11:30Oh, excuse you
11:31Oh, Niles
11:34Oh, Frasier
11:37What a serendipitous event
11:39How did you discover my favorite coffee bar?
11:41Well, the radio station's right across the street
11:44I did my first show today
11:45Yes, you did, didn't you?
11:48Well
11:49Good to see you
11:51Have a nice day
11:57Niles, aren't you going to join me?
11:59Oh, well
12:00I would, but
12:03I have a routine
12:04I come in every day
12:05Order coffee
12:06And spend some quality time
12:08With myself
12:09You understand
12:09Fras, I've seen you once
12:13In the last two years
12:14Oh, that is your point
12:18Yes
12:19Well
12:21Very well
12:23In the spirit of blood being thicker than water
12:25Why don't we
12:27Yes
12:28I remember your fourth birthday party
12:42Grandmother took us to the park
12:43Ride the carousel
12:46And I made all those little children wait
12:48While you
12:49Wiped off your painted pony
12:51I was wearing Bermuda shorts
12:55And that saddle was slick
12:56With toddler sweat
12:57Oh
13:05Oh, thanks again
13:09For dinner
13:10The other night
13:10With Maris
13:11You two seem very happy
13:16Oh
13:16Yes
13:17Love
13:18Like the arctic puffin
13:20We've mated for life
13:21Honestly
13:25I can't imagine even looking
13:27At another woman
13:28Excuse me, sir
13:30Have you finished with that sugar?
13:31Oh, yes
13:31Of course
13:32Are you ready to order?
13:43Uh, yes
13:43Double decaf
13:44Non-fat latte
13:45Mmm
13:46Medium foam
13:48Dusted with just the faintest
13:50Whisper of cinnamon
13:51I'll have a black coffee
13:54You'll have to forgive my brother
13:59He just came in on the noon stage
14:01I hope I never see the day
14:06When I am so frightfully pretentious
14:08That
14:08A good old cup of American coffee
14:11Isn't good enough for me
14:13So
14:21How'd your visit with Dad go?
14:26I haven't been to see him yet
14:27Really?
14:29You've been in town a whole week
14:31Well, I've been very busy
14:32What with
14:33Settling into the new apartment
14:34Unpacking
14:35Frasier, you're obviously making excuses
14:37I'm going over tonight
14:38For my weekly visit
14:39Why don't you come along?
14:42Geez, I know I should, Niles
14:43But
14:44I'm really in such a vulnerable state right now
14:46The last thing I need is
14:47Seattle's raining sourpuss
14:50Taking pot shots at me
14:51Is that what you're worried about?
14:54Yes
14:55Well, you have been out of touch
14:57Our father's a changed man
14:59Ever since he was shot
15:00He's softened
15:02The whole new zest for life
15:04Niles, I visited him in the hospital
15:07He made his roommate cry
15:08And the man was in a coma
15:09Dad was still in shock
15:14The change came after
15:15He's a psychiatrist
15:16Surely you've seen this
15:17A patient has a brush with death
15:19Rediscovers his love of life
15:21The laughs we've had when I'm over there
15:27I sometimes wonder if that bullet didn't crease his funny bone
15:30Oh, thank you
15:33Can you believe the incompetence of that man?
15:39I very clearly asked for a whisper of cinnamon
15:42He's given me a full-throated shout
15:43There are countries in this world
15:47Where they would lop off his sprinkling hand
15:50You know
15:58I've forgotten what a weird little person you are
16:02Dad is going to be positively giddy
16:09When he sees that he's got the both of us tonight
16:12Who is it?
16:17Niles and a special guest
16:19Oh, jeez
16:21All right
16:24Hold your horses
16:25How does he come up with those?
16:30Look, Dad
16:31It's Frasier
16:32Well, I can see that
16:33That punk didn't shit out my eyeball
16:35Oh, stop it
16:37He's just
16:37He sees the humor in everything
16:43Frasier
16:44Come on in
16:45Thanks, Dad
16:47So, big game?
16:54Nah, they'll lose it again
16:56Hitch is a bum
16:57He's a bum
16:59He's an absolute hobo
17:01Isn't that right, Skipper?
17:09Niles, are you drunk?
17:12Don't be ridiculous
17:14Seeing the three of us
17:15Back together again in the same room
17:17Who needs alcohol for that?
17:19I do
17:19I do
17:20I'll get you a beer
17:23Thanks, Dad
17:25You filthy liar
17:32You said he'd changed
17:34Well, it got you here, didn't it?
17:37I've been dealing with him all by myself
17:39Ever since Mom died
17:40Now it's your turn
17:41So welcome home, prodigal son
17:43You guys want some pork rinds?
17:47And that's as close as you're going to get
17:49To a fatted calf
17:50Oh, thanks, Dad
17:55Oh, will you stop staring at me?
18:01Here you go
18:01Ah, well, I understand completely, Frasier
18:04Dad, Frasier was just saying
18:06That he'd like to spend some quality time with you alone
18:08So I'm just going to slip out
18:10Suit yourself
18:11All right
18:12Oh, you haven't met Eddie
18:15Eddie?
18:21Frasier is the firstborn
18:22The torch has been passed
18:32So
18:42How was your flight?
18:46Oh, actually, I drove
18:48Take the I-90?
19:01Um, 80
19:02Should have taken a 90
19:05It would have got you here faster
19:06Darn
19:09So, Dad, uh, did you
19:19Did you listen to my show today?
19:21No, I missed it
19:22I'm sorry
19:22No, it's all right
19:25How'd it go?
19:28Well, uh
19:28Kind of rocky
19:30Spent a good part of the day
19:32Pausing over
19:33Proper
19:34Signature line
19:36To use to
19:37Introduce myself
19:38Well, I'm sure he'll come up with something
19:40Well, you know, I'm looking for something that's familiar
19:42But not a cliche, you know
19:43Something that's memorable
19:45But not too gimmicky
19:46Yeah, it doesn't really matter
19:50It's
19:50Got something to
19:51Dad, please
19:53I'm talking about a conversation
19:55It's hard with the television on
19:56Well, I just want to get the score, okay?
19:58I'll tell you what
19:59I'm trying to describe to you
20:01My dilemma with this phrase
20:03All right, fine
20:04I'm listening
20:05Are you happy?
20:06I'm listening
20:07That's it
20:09I'm listening
20:09That's fabulous
20:10Yeah, have you got a pencil somewhere?
20:12Yeah, there's one in the kitchen
20:13On the table
20:13I'm listening
20:16Yeah, oh
20:17I love that
20:18Uh, look
20:21I hate to cut this short
20:23But I told some guys
20:24I'd meet him down at Duke's
20:26You're leaving?
20:29Yeah
20:29Whenever you're ready
20:30I'll walk you out
20:31Dad, I haven't seen you in two years
20:34I stopped by
20:34And you're
20:35You're leaving in ten minutes?
20:36Oh, why don't we
20:38Stop kidding ourselves
20:39You don't really want to be here
20:42And
20:42We don't really have anything
20:44To talk about
20:45At least I'm making the effort
20:48Oh, yeah
20:49It's an effort
20:50To talk to me, huh?
20:52Well, I guess that's why
20:53You only bother coming home
20:55Once a year
20:55At Christmas
20:56Oh, no, wait
20:57Sorry
20:58I take that back
20:59Last year
21:00You went to Arugula
21:01Wherever the hell that is
21:03Dad, you know
21:07You're painting an awfully
21:07Bleak picture here
21:08Ever since I moved to Boston
21:10I've come home
21:10At least three or four times a year
21:12Since lately
21:13Things got a little hectic
21:14And
21:15Haven't been able to come home
21:17As often
21:17Yeah
21:18I noticed how busy you got
21:21After your mother died
21:22But
21:28What the hell
21:29I didn't go
21:29Visit you in Boston
21:31Either, did I?
21:32So
21:33Why don't we just drop this?
21:39No
21:39The point is that we're here now
21:44Together
21:45I don't want this night to end
21:49Before we've at least
21:51Tried
21:52To have one real conversation
21:55We've at least tried
21:57Now you just sit down with me
21:59For a while
21:59And let's try, please
22:01Thank you
22:31So
22:37You know
22:40I
22:40I
22:41I
22:41I'd forgotten
22:43How much it really does
22:44Rain here
22:45Yeah, used to it
22:51Makes things green
22:56Yeah
22:56Where would the old earth be
23:01Without rain
23:02How much it really does
23:06As long as I try
23:07As long as I try
23:08As long as I know
23:09As long as I try
23:11As long as I try
23:13As long as I try
23:14To him
23:15I
23:15What the hell
23:15Yeah
23:17Yeah
23:17Yeah
23:17What the hell
23:17As long as I try
23:18And
23:19How long as I try
23:19My darling, would have thought that old fascination would wear off by now.
23:49Well, hello there.
23:50Hey, how are you guys?
23:52Frasier, Dad tells me you've been on the air three years today, so we'd like to take you out for a celebratory dinner.
23:58Well, thank you.
24:00Dad, how did you know?
24:02Well, I heard that woman who called in.
24:05You listened to my show?
24:07Well, I sort of fell asleep during the Mariners game.
24:14But when I woke up, you were on.
24:16And you didn't turn me off.
24:17I did not.
24:20I listened to you for ten minutes before I finally dozed off again.
24:27Faint praise, and yet it thunders in my ears.
24:30Roger Green.
24:31Oh, hello, Daphne.
24:33Daphne, we're going out for dinner.
24:34You want to join us?
24:35Oh, thanks, but no.
24:37I promised myself that tonight I'd decide what I'm doing on my vacation.
24:41Either home to the family or to sunny Acapulco.
24:45And they just squeeze into my bikini and let my hips make the decision.
24:49Of course, it would be more memorable if we celebrated at home.
24:59Let's go.
25:00Let's go.
25:02Help me time.
25:04Now, fellas, hold the elevator for me.
25:07All right.
25:08Daphne, um, I was just thinking about, you know, our discussion earlier this afternoon,
25:13and I've decided to give you an extra week off.
25:18That way you can go to Manchester and Acapulco.
25:22Oh, that's so sweet.
25:25You really must think I should go home.
25:29Well, I just realized that being part of a family is really worth the effort.
25:38And very often the effort means you'll need a week in Acapulcos.
25:46Thank you, Dr. Crane.
25:54You're welcome.
25:57You know, maybe if I try a little harder, it won't be that bad.
26:03Well, it's a good way of thinking.
26:06You know, things...
26:08Things can get better.
26:10Hey, let's go!
26:12I've got acid burning a hole in my stomach!
26:20Still, um...
26:22Would you mind...
26:24Leaving those brochures of Acapulco out for me?
26:33Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
26:36Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:39Quite stylish
26:41And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:44Well, maybe
26:45But I got you pegged
26:48Ha, ha, ha, ha
26:50But I don't know what to do
26:52With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:56They're calling again
26:59Frasier has left the building
27:04They go
27:14I don't know if you're going to do this
27:15But I don't know if it's because of the inside of a place
27:16It's a good idea
27:17That's all
27:18There's no way to be
27:19It's a good idea
27:19I don't know if it had to do this
27:21Do this
27:21No, it's not
27:22It's just a good idea
27:22I don't know if you're going to work
27:23But I love to be
27:24It's just a bad idea
27:25I love it