Murphy Brown Season 8 Episode 6 Miller's Crossing
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00:00Look, we're going Italian.
00:01Oh, no, no, I can't cut 40 seconds.
00:03And I already had Italian for lunch.
00:04I'll do 10 seconds in Mexican.
00:06You're killing me.
00:0830 in Chinese.
00:0920.
00:10And you don't try to use chalk sticks.
00:13Done.
00:13You are the best wife-slash-anchor person
00:16any husband-slash-executive producer could ever ask for.
00:19Looks like you guys have this workplace-slash-marriage thing down, huh?
00:23They really do, Frank.
00:24We've learned that making an office marriage work is all about compromise.
00:27Uh-huh. That's why when Lansing asked me to step in
00:30and executive produce that new show
00:32that Murphy and Miller have been doing together,
00:33I said, absolutely not.
00:36Running front and center would take too much time away
00:38from my wonderful wife.
00:39Oh, my.
00:41That's right. I looked him straight in the eye,
00:43and I told him I would consult on front and center,
00:46and that is it.
00:47You're consulting? You didn't tell me you were consulting.
00:49Oh, honey, don't worry.
00:51Consultants just give advice and go home.
00:54Executive producers do the work and get the ulcers.
00:56Hey, Miles, I just heard you're going to be running front and center.
01:01Man, you just don't ever want to go home, do you?
01:04I swear I am just a consultant.
01:07Yeah, it'll be just like we were on the next wave together, remember?
01:10Working late into the night, making sure my stories were perfect,
01:14preparing all the questions for my interviews.
01:16Hey, maybe I'll even stick around and help this time.
01:20Who am I kidding?
01:21I'm kidding.
01:24Just a consultant.
01:25Hey, guys, you know, we've had three shows on the air
01:33and no feedback from anyone, so come on.
01:35What do you think?
01:37Well, uh, I like you much better on your show
01:41than I did when you were on ours.
01:43Well, you know what they say.
01:44Teamwork.
01:45That's the key.
01:46And I think Murphy and I make a really, really great team.
01:50I mean, we have this unspoken connection
01:52where we know each other's thoughts.
01:53It's like we think with one mind.
01:56You'd almost have to.
02:02Another dead end.
02:04Damn, damn, damn.
02:06Man.
02:07You see what I mean?
02:08Don't tell me you're still trying to line up that anthropologist.
02:12Oh, really, slugger.
02:14James Hawley's had no luck with her.
02:16Sam Donaldson, maybe it's time to give up.
02:18I can't give up, Jim.
02:19Elizabeth Corning's research on gorillas
02:21has revolutionized the whole field of animal behavior.
02:24And after 30 years in the jungle, she's finally coming home.
02:27I've got to convince her.
02:28What do you do when you've made a total pest of yourself
02:31and you can't get a woman to return your phone calls?
02:37Hey, who are you looking at me for?
02:42You know, Murfo,
02:43I'm really sorry it's not happening with the monkey lady,
02:47but, uh, hey, it's time for our meeting.
02:50Oh, right.
02:51Um, I tell you what, Miller,
02:52why don't you go to your office and wait for me there?
02:55Gotcha.
02:55Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
03:00Not again.
03:01Fool me once, shame on you.
03:03Fool me six times, shame on me.
03:06The last time we met for five hours
03:08and all we resolved is you can't interview
03:10fictional characters or people who are dead.
03:13And we never would have gotten there without the process.
03:17Oh, my God, just get it overworked.
03:20Hey, you guys want to stick around,
03:22pitch a few with the old mill man?
03:23Sorry, I, uh, have a commentary to write.
03:26Yeah, and, uh, I have, uh, an appointment, uh, uh,
03:29about my, uh, pants.
03:32Well, then what are you standing around here for?
03:34Go, go.
03:36Well, Miles, where do you think you're going?
03:38Hello?
03:39Consultant here, remember?
03:42And as your consultant, my advice is get Ed.
03:44He's your executive producer.
03:45Oh, yeah.
03:46About Ed, um, after our production meeting this morning,
03:49he went home.
03:50Something about not feeling well.
03:53Well, I guess I can sit in just this once.
03:56Because if something goes wrong, not my problem.
04:00Cool, because I got a ton of great ideas.
04:02Okay, okay.
04:04Try this one on for size.
04:06Bingo.
04:07Innocent pastime or...
04:10I'm still working on the second half of that one.
04:13Any ideas?
04:14Yeah, but it would involve your false arrest,
04:17a little rouge, and a warden willing to look the other way.
04:19Hey, at least I'm coming up with ideas.
04:23Not wasting time going after some boring old chimp chick.
04:28Excuse me?
04:29That boring old chimp chick is a Nobel Prize winner
04:32and one of the founders of modern anthropology.
04:35You say potato, I say tomato.
04:38This meeting is over.
04:47Get out, Miller.
04:49Come on, now.
04:51How can we call ourselves a team if we can't communicate?
04:55Don't shut me out, Murpho.
04:56Stop calling me that.
04:59Look, we need to feel that we can share our problems.
05:01Okay.
05:02I'll start.
05:06I used to not like myself very much.
05:10And then I learned about body waxing.
05:16Okay, your turn.
05:18Want to share?
05:18I'll share.
05:20My problem is you.
05:21You're not a journalist.
05:23You don't know the first thing about news.
05:24And you wouldn't recognize a story if it began with once upon a time.
05:30So what are you saying?
05:31I'm not a journalist?
05:34What I'm saying is the only reason I took this job
05:38is because I was convinced you'd be gone by now.
05:40But you're still here.
05:41It's like I stepped in Miller Redfield
05:44and I can't seem to scrape you off my shoe.
05:46Well, let me tell you something,
05:50Little Miss High and Mighty.
05:53I may not have gone to some fancy journalism school
05:56or have a closet full of awards
05:59or spend any time honing my craft
06:01or...
06:04Wait, where was I going with this?
06:08Anywhere but here.
06:10Fine.
06:11I'm leaving.
06:12But let me tell you something.
06:13Somehow, someway,
06:16I'm going to impress you, Murphy Brown.
06:19Oh, what's that in your ear?
06:23Why, it's a quarter.
06:26And that's just the beginning.
06:38Oh, I like that you're thinking career change, Miller,
06:41but I'm afraid that this job requires
06:43a working knowledge of the alphabet.
06:45Oh, yeah?
06:51Well, I have something you don't have.
06:54I got news for you, Miller.
06:55A prostate gland is nothing to gloat about.
06:59No, no, it's not.
07:02But convincing renowned anthropologist Elizabeth Corning
07:06to let me interview her?
07:08I'd say that is.
07:10Let me see that.
07:12Well, it's not in crayons,
07:13so at least I know you didn't write it.
07:17Hey, Miller, way to go.
07:19You reeled in the big interview.
07:22He got her?
07:23Oh, yes, indeedy, he did.
07:25I was just on the phone with her working out the details.
07:27She'll be here next Friday.
07:28You got her?
07:29And it was so easy, too.
07:31All I had to do was...
07:33No, you know what?
07:34A real journalist doesn't reveal how he got his story.
07:38Your story?
07:39Elizabeth Corning was my story.
07:42My idea, my story.
07:44Tell him, Miles, tell him.
07:45My idea, my story, tell him.
07:47Well, this is a tough one.
07:50You've been following this story for months.
07:52You know the woman inside and out,
07:53so I guess you could say you deserve this interview.
07:56Hear that?
07:57Deserve.
07:58Although, Miller's the one who actually got her,
08:01and without her, there'd be no interview to do.
08:03Hear that?
08:04Do.
08:08But I guess if I had to make a ruling on this one,
08:12I'd have to go with...
08:16Ed.
08:17Ed?
08:18Ed's your executive producer.
08:20He's the one who should be dispensing the Solomon Lake wisdom.
08:23I'm just a consultant.
08:24My wisdom's more like that of a lesser Israelite.
08:28How about Ed?
08:29Ed's in the hospital.
08:31Ed's in the...
08:32What did you do to Ed?
08:34The doctors discovered a pre-existing medical condition
08:39apparently brought on by my constructive criticism.
08:43So in a way, you could say I'm a lifesaver.
08:45What?
08:46You'll be back by show night?
08:47Absolutely.
08:48As soon as they find a way to stop the vomiting,
08:50he's free to leave.
08:51So then that leaves you, so make a ruling.
08:53Murphy.
08:55Okay.
08:56If you're gonna force me to choose,
08:58I'd have to say the interview goes to Miller.
09:00What?
09:01I'm sorry, Murphy, but Elizabeth Corning said she wanted Miller.
09:03I have to give him the interview.
09:04I want this interview, Miles.
09:06You know, we all want things we can't have, Murphy.
09:10Hey, I want a Corvette with mag wheels
09:15and a plush leather interior.
09:17Wait, I already have that.
09:20Okay.
09:21I want a buff bod with a washboard stomach
09:24that drives the babes wild.
09:26No, wait, I already have that, too.
09:30Boy, happy to be me, huh?
09:32Hey, have a good show tonight.
09:37It's gonna be a great one.
09:38Yeah, great.
09:39See you in a few minutes.
09:40Oh, no.
09:42Actually, you won't.
09:43You'll be seeing Ed, your executive producer,
09:46in a few minutes.
09:46I'm just the consultant, remember?
09:48That means I don't have to stay.
09:50No, in a few minutes,
09:52I'll be tucking a napkin into my collar
09:54and eating the shellfish-free jambalaya
09:56Corky's whipping up as we speak.
09:57Look, champagne.
10:00Well, see you.
10:02Miles, you don't think I'm losing it, do you?
10:05Losing it?
10:06No, of course not.
10:08I actually lost a story to Miller Redfield.
10:11Miller Redfield?
10:12A man who once tried to order
10:14Boutros Boutros Gali from a Greek restaurant.
10:20You know, that's an interesting point
10:23and one that deserves some thought.
10:24I'll tell you what.
10:25Why don't we talk about it tomorrow?
10:27We'll make some time, have some coffee, okay?
10:28All right.
10:33Listen, you are not losing it.
10:39You're fine.
10:40Miller just got lucky.
10:43That's all.
10:44Who knows why?
10:45These things happen.
10:47Yeah, I guess you're right.
10:48Great.
10:49Now, if I don't get out of here,
10:50Corky's never gonna forgive me.
10:51Miles!
10:52Thank God you haven't left yet.
10:53One of our cameras went down.
10:54What are we gonna do?
10:55Not my problem.
10:56Go ask Ed.
10:57Didn't they tell you?
10:58Ed, quit.
10:59It's three minutes to air.
11:01We need you out there.
11:02Ed quit?
11:05Tell me, Murphy.
11:06Was there ever really an Ed?
11:07Was this all just some sick,
11:09twisted plot of yours?
11:10Run!
11:11You're the devil!
11:15Hey, Carl.
11:15Congrats on the promotion.
11:18Murphy!
11:19Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:20Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:21Hey, Ed!
11:22Hey, Ed!
11:23Hey, Ed!
11:23Hey, Ed!
11:24Hey, Ed!
11:24Hey, Ed!
11:25Hiya, Murpho.
11:26Yee!
11:29So, uh, how's things?
11:32Yeah.
11:34Well, you know that time you spent
11:36trying to nail the Elizabeth Corning interview?
11:38Hey, it wasn't wasted.
11:39No, she is every bit as fascinating
11:42as you thought.
11:43Maybe even more.
11:45So, you got the interview, Miller.
11:46Big deal.
11:47Spare me, okay?
11:49Well, if I didn't know better,
11:51I'd say you sounded jealous.
11:52Maybe even a little impressed.
11:56You're right impressed.
11:58Yeah, but why not?
12:00Why can't you just admit that I came through on this?
12:02When I mean, would it kill you just once to say,
12:06way to go, Miller.
12:07Nice job.
12:09Fine.
12:10Fine.
12:11Fine.
12:12I guess I had you all wrong.
12:15You know, I thought you were the kind of person
12:17who respected people who got results.
12:19I thought you'd at least give me a little credit for that.
12:23But I guess not.
12:24All right, all right.
12:30I guess it is possible that I sort of underestimated you a little.
12:42Yeah.
12:43And I guess if a bunch of terrorists were holding a loaded gun to my head,
12:50and I don't know, the fate of a plane load of guns depended on it,
12:54I'd have to say that I...
12:59That I...
13:02That you respect me?
13:03It sounds so ugly when you say it.
13:09But...
13:10Yes, and I respect you.
13:14Wow.
13:16You respect me.
13:17You respect me.
13:19Forget it, Miller.
13:20I know I plan to.
13:22No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:23I have to do something to show my appreciation.
13:25Look, I know how much this interview meant to you,
13:28so why don't you share it with me?
13:31Come on, what do you say?
13:32We do it together.
13:34You do that?
13:35I don't know.
13:36Come on, you know you want to.
13:41You realize the kind of mind this puts me in.
13:44Our whole relationship is based on my total disregard for your existence.
13:48That you do something nice for me,
13:50and suddenly that whole thing gets thrown horribly out of whack.
13:54Okay.
13:54Hey, pal.
14:07Guess who respects me?
14:09Okay, I'll give you a hint.
14:11Her initials are...
14:12Murphy Brown.
14:14Got it yet?
14:16Hey, you up there, catwalk guy.
14:19Guess who respects me?
14:20Geez.
14:21Geez.
14:23Excuse me.
14:24I'm not sure I'm in the right place.
14:27I can find my way through a rainforest and a monsoon,
14:30but that parking structure is a nightmare.
14:32Hello, Dr. Corning.
14:35I can't tell you what an honor this is.
14:37I'm Murphy Brown.
14:38Oh, yes, of course.
14:40You're very good.
14:42I made a point to watch a number of your reports,
14:45which is no small feat in the jungle.
14:47Well, the damn lions keep chewing through the cable.
14:51That's very flattering.
14:53Of course, you did choose Miller Redfield to do the interview and not me,
14:57but I'm sure you had your reasons.
14:59Could you give me one?
15:02Liz!
15:03Miller?
15:04Hello.
15:07Oh, those roses in my hotel room this morning would a very nice touch.
15:12Well, I'm glad you like them.
15:13Listen, a slight change in plans.
15:15Murphy and I are going to be doing the interview together.
15:18Is that okay?
15:19Well, I suppose if I have to share you.
15:23Ten seconds.
15:24Places, people.
15:25Let's go.
15:25Let's go.
15:26Okay.
15:32And we're live in five, four, three, two...
15:38Good evening, America.
15:39I'm Miller Redfield coming to you live from Washington, D.C.
15:43Murphy, and you are front and center.
15:48Tonight, Murphy Brown and I have a very special interview
15:51with a woman we think you'll just go ape over.
15:56Murphy?
15:57Thank you, Miller.
15:59Tonight, we're joined by one of the most noted anthropologists of our time,
16:03Elizabeth Corning.
16:04Dr. Corning, welcome.
16:05Thank you, Murphy.
16:06I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here.
16:13Well, you spent nearly 30 years in the jungle.
16:16I wonder if you could tell us what is your most surprising discovery?
16:20Oh, I'd have to say it was one of my most recent ones, actually.
16:24I discovered that while gorilla and man are alike in many, many ways,
16:30only one of them can get a really good foot rub.
16:35Actually, in all my years of studying gorillas,
16:39it's the consistency of their behavior rather than the surprises that stand out.
16:44You know, now might be a really good time to go to a short clip
16:51from the documentary of your recent fieldwork.
16:54Can we roll that clip?
16:55This is you in the jungle with some apes.
16:57Clip is rolling, and we're clear.
17:00I'm sorry.
17:01I was just a little thrown there.
17:03You two are so friendly.
17:06I hadn't realized you were so friendly.
17:11I was just wondering how you got so friendly.
17:16You're asking if we slept together.
17:18What? Oh, no.
17:19Well, we did.
17:22And it was yummy.
17:27Coming out a clip in five, four, three, two.
17:32That was unbelievable.
17:42Really, really unbelievable.
17:44You know, I could just watch that clip again and again.
17:47Can we roll that clip again?
17:50Okay, why don't we go to a different clip now?
17:52I just can't get enough of those clips.
17:55It says, you in the jungle, more apes.
17:57And we're going to clear.
17:59Again.
17:59What are you doing?
18:01Time for another clip.
18:02He slept with her.
18:03What?
18:04Miller slept with Elizabeth Kortning.
18:06You mean like a nap?
18:08No, I always slept like a nap.
18:11Oh, God.
18:13Hey, guys.
18:14I think it's going really well so far, don't you?
18:17So that's how you did it?
18:19That's how you got the interview?
18:20You slept with her?
18:21How could you do that?
18:22It was surprisingly easy, really.
18:25A little wine, a little music, a lot of foot rubs.
18:29Boy, I wish they could all be like that, huh?
18:32You slept with an interview.
18:33You compromised your objectivity.
18:35Forty seconds, Miles.
18:36What she did was unethical, immoral, and not at all helped by the fact that she looks
18:40like my grandmother on my father's side.
18:43Boy, there's gratitude for you.
18:45I take one for our show.
18:47No, I take six for our show.
18:50And this is the thanks I get.
18:52Oh, God, he's right.
18:54Our show, our interview.
18:55I might as well have slept with her myself.
18:59I don't think she's into that, but hey, you can ask her.
19:04Me, we'll talk about this after the show.
19:06Now get back out there now.
19:09Oh, no.
19:09This interview is tainted.
19:11There's no way I'm finishing it now.
19:12If I can consult on this sinking ship, you can get back out there and help me bail.
19:16Now grab a bucket, matey, and go.
19:18Go.
19:18All right, but I am washing my hands of this whole thing.
19:23You're on your own, lover boy.
19:25Fifteen seconds.
19:26What is your problem?
19:28Is it because I'm young and she's old?
19:30Age has nothing to do with it.
19:31You slept with her to get her on the show.
19:33Look, it's not my fault you couldn't figure out a way to get this interview for yourself.
19:38Tell me something, Liz.
19:39When the younger gorillas slept with the older gorillas, did the holier-than-thou gorillas pass judgment on them?
19:47Because, let me tell you something.
19:49I slept with Elizabeth Corning, and I don't care who knows about it.
20:04We're back.
20:05All right, I know you're all interested, so I won't keep you in suspense.
20:15I'm not fired.
20:17Oh, jeez.
20:19He's like the cockroach of journalism.
20:21No matter how many times you whack him, you just can't kill him.
20:26You're not fired?
20:28No.
20:29All I had to do was promise not to sleep with anyone I interview ever again.
20:32Or, if I do, at least don't announce it on the air.
20:38You mean, Lansing's not mad?
20:41Oh, man, he's mad.
20:43Really, really mad.
20:45But apparently, not at me.
20:47Oh, yeah, by the way, Lansing said he wants to see you in his office ASAP.
20:52But, if I were you, I'd hurry.
20:54But, Ed was the executive producer.
21:01I'm just the consultant.
21:04Everyone's head should be rolling here.
21:06Shouldn't be my head.
21:09Should be Ed's head.
21:13Shouldn't it be Ed's head?
21:18Murphy?
21:19I'd like to have a few words with you, if I could.
21:23Okay.
21:24But only if those words are, I can't breathe, you're standing on my larynx.
21:31Look.
21:33This isn't easy for me to say, so I'm just gonna say it.
21:38My behavior was unconscionable.
21:41And I regret any embarrassment I may have caused you, and
21:46I offer you my most sincere and
21:53Hornfelt
21:58Hornfelt apology.
22:02What is that?
22:04A cheat sheet?
22:05Have you got an apology cheat sheet?
22:08No.
22:11Most sincere and heartfelt apology?
22:15Heartfelt.
22:18And Stan said I'd be home free if I got past unconscionable.
22:23You have no idea what you did, do you?
22:26Journalists have rules.
22:28You don't make up quotes, you don't pay for information,
22:31and you don't use sex to get a story.
22:34Yeesh.
22:35Guilty on two counts.
22:37Huh.
22:37Actually, three.
22:38Liz asked me for cab fare.
22:40You're posting my breath.
22:42You know what, Miller?
22:43You will never be more than what you are.
22:46A blow-dried, tooth-capped pretty boy posing as a journalist.
22:51You really think I'm pretty?
22:55Oh, jeez.
22:57Forget it.
22:58All right, look.
22:59Maybe I am blow-dried, and my teeth are capped.
23:02And I know that comes at a price, that people don't take me seriously.
23:06But then I look at Hugh Downs, and I think, boy, is that time well spent.
23:13Dammit.
23:14I got the serious interview.
23:16I got it.
23:17So why can't I be pretty and have your respect?
23:21Miller, it's not just the end result that counts.
23:24How you get there matters, too.
23:27So what you're saying is, I shouldn't have slept with Elizabeth to get the interview.
23:32Yes, Miller.
23:33That's what I'm saying.
23:34That's what I have been saying.
23:36Yes.
23:37Wow.
23:39Hey, is this stuff written down anywhere?
23:41You know, like in a pamphlet or a card I could stick in my wallet?
23:46You just sort of have to know it.
23:50Let me tell you something.
23:51Things are going to be different from now on.
23:53Yeah, I'm going to show you that I can be a real journalist, just like you.
23:58Excuse me.
23:59Miller, it's Shelly Winters on the phone.
24:01She wants to confirm your pre-interview with her at your place?
24:04Oh, great.
24:07No, no, no, no, no, no.
24:09Don't worry.
24:10Believe me, I haven't forgotten what we just talked about.
24:13Shelly only thinks she's going to be on the show.
24:16No, no, no, no, no, no.