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  • 2 days ago
The Conners S07E01

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Transcript
00:00cafeteria line work ends at three and i'll get more time at home with ben
00:04once you get back anyway uh tomorrow it sucks because i'm wearing my date night clothes
00:13and i would love to go celebrate with him but hey uh i just got a promotion how about going
00:21out for a celebratory milkshake sounds neat why don't jughead and i just ride our bikes
00:26down to the malt shop and meet you i can't i have to go to work at eight o'clock at night
00:32this must be a really intense job you got uh yeah well you know you don't get to write code
00:39for a fortune 500 company unless you're you know pretty dedicated hey dan dan get in here the whole
00:46family's got to be here to hear this okay so um i was bored out of my skull today and i took a bunch
00:53of brownies down to the police station just say hi to the guys oh jackie you don't need to give
00:58people treats to be your friend use cash give yourself a fighting chance anyway sarja's brother
01:05just got out of rehab for opioids and he mentioned the court ruling where you can sue the drug
01:10manufacturers now of course he's still in trouble because he drove through a fried chicken joint
01:14and they don't have a drive-through the point is we can sue for roseanne now dan isn't that amazing
01:22news oh my god wait if we win we could finally have a safety net this family's always been one
01:30financial tragedy away from disaster and we could be like a two tragedy family we won't we'll lose
01:37because they've got big fancy lawyers all we can afford is a guy who got me a hundred bucks because
01:42i found a band-aid and a bag of chips did you even look for the finger
01:46you could all be driving toyotas right now i can get us a toyota baby oh don't you dare kiss for a
01:55toyota anyway it doesn't matter how much we can afford lawyers on these cases they'll work for
02:01contingencies it's not worth all the hassle and no amount of money is going to bring your sister back
02:08or your mom i don't even know why the hell we're talking about this
02:11guys your dad does not want to do this i wouldn't push him well sometimes you have to
02:19he didn't want to watch bridgerton either but i pushed him and now he sits on the couch with me
02:23and neville and he sleeps right in front of it i made that happen
02:41thanks for coming over to explain this stuff to me i saw all these fees in my checking account and
02:54i feel like i'm getting ripped off you probably don't have enough in there to cover the maintenance
02:57costs i had that same problem before i married well oh holy cats you got plenty of money darlene
03:06your kid's loaded and i'm not talking about the kind of loaded you and i were when we were his
03:11age wow don't ever quit that job i've never seen anyone make that kind of money at 19. well uh my
03:18brain's not fried for being a child alcoholic like you two um he's an entry-level guy with no degree
03:27making that kind of money oh you know he's in the computer world algorithms zuckerberg bitcoin
03:34a.i you're just stringing together words that you don't understand humiliated ashamed don't care
03:44hey hey hey hey oh my god the dog on your face ran off yes it's true i shaved you look like a giant
03:56toddler hey i think he looks amazing oh i missed you so much okay i gotta get i'm gonna get out of here
04:07very intimate moment when a mother and child are reunited
04:15hey while you were moving the magazine to lanford i made your little office hey that's really sweet okay
04:22but i actually ended up renting a little storefront next to starbucks what what i thought you were
04:27gonna work from home i was but when i was at the offices in omaha it felt productive you know it felt
04:33like a real career like uh i don't know it just made me feel good about myself well i can make you feel
04:38good about yourself look at you boss guy doing your thing yes that filled my tank right up
04:46you're like honey you know it's gonna be a few months of 14 15 hour days while we're getting this
04:51thing up and running but after that we're gonna have plenty of time together and i'm sorry babe but
04:57i gotta go to the storefront start getting my space ready oh well i just used a groupon to get my space
05:02ready but i guess i can wait till you get back i heard a guy talking is tyler here no it was ben oh
05:16thank god last night he made me a whole tour of italy dinner i was so full of rome i didn't have any room
05:23left for sicily so tonight i had to do a whole france thing for him you guys are really going crazy with
05:30all that lovey-dovey crap since he moved in don't you have to work on your thesis yes but i don't
05:36know how to reciprocate all the nice things he does for me and finish my master's at the same time
05:41i guess that's why academics are lonely and people in love are stupid well i'm sure you'd understand
05:47if you just needed some time for school work no we're still in that romantic bubble phase and i'm
05:53not going to be the first one to pop that where's ben oh well he rented a storefront for the magazine
06:00and he left to go set it up wow so he just got back from omaha and he's already gone i think you're
06:07the one who needs to make a romantic gesture he's been home for five minutes and i'm already in gesture
06:12territory i mean i thought him getting home and seeing me would be enough as someone who sees you
06:16i can tell you it's not you need to make an effort maybe brush your hair or try women's underwear
06:25yeah i get whatever they have at the supermarket your complaint is with them
06:34hey honey yeah you haven't said anything about this whole roseanne lawsuit thing i know you have
06:42an opinion yes my opinion is you don't want to talk about it you're right absolutely right i don't want to
06:50talk about it and here's why to be able to continue my life after she died i had to find a way to put all
06:59that pain in a box and then put it away in the back of my head first i tried imagining that she was still
07:06alive but somewhere else you mean like alive in heaven no just someplace where i'd never see her but i
07:15could pretend she was still there like north dakota that is so sad that didn't work so i went back out
07:24to the grave and just stared at her name i stared until it finally sunk into me that she was under all
07:31that earth and she wasn't coming back and then i grieved and that became my whole life until i met you
07:39again took you long enough to get around to that look i know everybody wants me to sue because there's
07:48a possibility of money but what happens if i dig all this stuff up and nothing damn you have moved
07:57mountains for this family you have a right not to move this one ah maybe i didn't explain myself well
08:05yes i don't want to do it but i feel guilty so what i need you to do is let me rant and rave about
08:14it and then make me do it so you want this to be my decision uh-uh no way well damn it woman you're
08:23my wife your sole purpose is to make me do things i don't want to do yes and i have and i enjoy it
08:30look honey uh this is between you and your family and what you feel you can handle i love you but i
08:40cannot make this decision for you dad are you here you said you changed the locks for my birthday oh honey
08:49change and the locks isn't gonna help they're in the walls like roaches
09:01do you mind if i sit out here and work on my homework i can't get anything done at my place
09:06what's the problem people dropping in unannounced no i gotta finish my thesis or i'm not gonna get my
09:12masters i have worked so long and i am so close to graduating but tyler just moved in and he's
09:19trying so hard to make me happy that i have to try at least that hard back and it's killing me
09:26told me he's up he's too sensitive look a new relationship is like a new car the first dent is
09:34always gonna feel horrible and then you relax because the tension of getting that first dent
09:39is over now go home no please don't make me go back there and be loved i wasn't raised that way
09:48fine i'll be honest with him another thing i wasn't raised with
09:58hey i don't know if you remember me jackie harris i uh stopped by the station the other day with the
10:03brownies okay so i don't know if you know this but i used to be a cop anyway i haven't said anything
10:12to the family yet but it had gotten me to thinking wouldn't it be crazy if i rejoined the force can be
10:20pretty crazy and very funny yeah but why crazy i mean the force is rehiring former cops because of the
10:27shortage and all you know and i read the policy there's no age limit you don't need policy to tell old
10:33people they shouldn't go on the big water slide really you know i'm in better shape now than i've
10:40ever been i could take you right now you want to go huh i want to go right now let's go let's go
10:51whoa let myself get weak that's another reason for me to do this look you want to be a cop be a cop
10:59they're always looking for people for desk jobs no no no no no i want to be out in the field
11:03you mean wandering around in it because you're so old you've forgotten where you are
11:08you know your ageism is gonna be my inspiration the department needs fresh blood unless you're
11:15getting a transfusion you're gonna have trouble providing that when i pass this physical i'm gonna
11:21ask to be partnered with you and i'm gonna talk a lot old people talk i'm gonna talk about the weather
11:30i'm gonna talk about the weather in other states i'm gonna read every sign that we pass it's gonna be
11:36like lethal weapon the boring chill god
11:46uh excuse me i'm looking for my husband ben olinsky tall big broad shoulders squeals like a little girl
11:54when he sees a hummingbird hey just so you know people in olden times thought they were fairies and
12:00it's sad that you can't see the magic in that oh what a nice surprise well i knew you would be busy
12:08but i thought it would be a nice gesture if i brought you a little treat oh my gosh everybody
12:14look what my wife brought is she the best or what somebody uh grab some paper plates everybody dig in
12:20oh okay i'm not sure i brought enough for all these people oh you took my vegan lo mein okay great enjoy
12:27well listen you grab something for yourself pull up a chair you can watch us work uh well you know
12:33with everybody eating this might be a nice time for you and i to sit on a blanket have a glass of wine
12:39sure i got a second yeah okay excuse me where are your nuts
12:49this has been happening all day i'm so sorry i know the sign on the window says hardware
12:54that's because we're a magazine about hardware we're not actually a hardware store
13:05sorry what were you saying
13:09seems like you got a lot going on here can you knock off a little early maybe and just meet me at
13:17the lobo maybe we can make out in the bathroom i heard they uh put a lock on the saw well well you
13:24know as much as i would love to go and make out at what may be the filthiest place on earth i just
13:30sorry that's okay i understand maybe i'll just uh go by myself okay
13:39darling wait yeah if you're going to the bar you're not gonna need this
13:57picking up comfort food for dan this lawsuit thing has him turned inside out
14:04that's some nachos might make him feel better i hope those work better for him than this beer is
14:09working for me all right let's get to the heart of that okay fine uh ben is working around the clock
14:19at the new office and i can't bear to sit in that living room for another night without him
14:24what about becky and tyler blah it's like watching a foreign romance film but with regular looking people
14:34oh thank you look you know hanging out here is a temporary solution what are you going to do
14:41tomorrow night smell ben's shirt cry a little come back here and uh oh i'm playing team darts by myself
14:51look i have been the ben in this situation i have gone on tour and left loved ones for months
14:59if dan had come to a bar every night when i was on the road he'd be an alcoholic i uh hate to break
15:06this chiba wheeze but he kind of is an alcoholic he just does it at home
15:10don't you have any friends you can hang out with no all right just hang in there things change
15:23and his work will will definitely calm down yeah i appreciate the effort
15:34dan likes to wash down his nachos with hot peanuts
15:38i'm really sorry louise it's okay i know what i signed up for
15:47hey perfect timing i made you a quiche from scratch sit down you made a quiche how long did that take
15:53took a couple hours but half as much time as it took to make those tuscan raviolis by hand
15:58great we can eat quiche and have a little talk
16:06i didn't bake it long enough you know what i rushed it you wait here i'll make a new one no no
16:11please you don't have to no i do i i do i have to get this right i i love you and my love is not
16:17runny it's firm with a flaky crust it's okay it's not okay you let me move in here i want it to be the
16:26best decision you ever made but i can't do this anymore i mean showing you how much i love you is
16:33ruining my life okay it's been working great for me but if this is all too much for you then maybe and
16:45i'm just spitballing here um we can cut back on the romantic gestures unbelievable you know what how
16:54can i show you how much that means to me do you like paella no no stop it you're doing it again
17:01okay we're gonna take it easy okay and we're gonna jump to the part where i get to work on my thesis
17:10and you get to read all those goosebumps books that you hide from me in your flight bag
17:14they're just the right amount of scary
17:21oh hi i didn't know you'd be here but i'm glad because i need to talk to you about something
17:26before i talk to dan i know how you're making all that money uh yeah my big fortune 500 computer job
17:33no you're not working for some fortune 500 company you're part of an illegal hacking operation
17:37how'd you find out somebody with real detective skills is able to put together pieces that look
17:45random to other people plus i rifled through your backpack and i found a note from one of your
17:49buddies that said um you're you're the best hacker ever
17:57so what are you gonna do well this puts me in a very difficult position mark i haven't told anybody
18:02this yet but i'm trying out to rejoin the lanford pd you now why does everybody keep you wanna go
18:17i'm two feet taller than you i can put my hand on your head and hold you away while you swing wildly
18:23look just don't tell my mom well if you stop now i won't but your mom is the least of your problems
18:28because you're gonna get caught i haven't so far and i'm not stopping until i have enough to
18:32pay for college myself yeah you think it's okay because the money's for a good cause that's how you
18:38get hooked first it's college then you're gonna want to give your kids a good life maybe adopt a foster
18:44kid who needs a new heart when does it stop mark i think it stops right now
18:55well you're not answering my text so we have to talk jackie
19:01you're a two-bear relative and i've only had one we have to sue dan i sent you the names of the
19:07lawyers and links to other stories of people who have done this what's the hold up i already told
19:13you it's not gonna be worth it oh so my sister's not worth it you know what i mean and it's not for
19:20her she's gone uh-huh out of sight out of mind just another casualty nothing we can do where's the
19:26dan i know where's the guy who would never walk away from a fight i never walked away from a fight
19:32i knew i had a chance of winning i'm not stupid enough to get the hell beat out of me for nothing
19:38look a sister doesn't carry the weight that a spouse does but you're not giving me any choice
19:44so i guess i gotta do it because i'm not gonna let the bastards get away with it
19:49do what you gotta do okay so you're gonna let your overly emotional sometimes irrational possibly
19:56borderline personality sister-in-law go to war with a big opioid company you'll have the element of
20:02surprise no you know what i have i have the guts to do something you won't if you don't hear from me
20:09it's because i don't know who you are anymore dan mind if i join you becky's working on her thesis and
20:18i just finished my last goosebumps book oh sure it'd be nice to have a little company yeah