The Conners Season 7 Episode 3,
The Conners S07E03
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The Conners S07E03
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FunTranscript
00:00it does take a while to take off a jacket well i am proud okay
00:04when i roll up to the show i am the go-to doctor for pauline the polar bear and as his wife i got
00:16a private tour and a free bucket of fish to throw pauline is not just any bear she is a star she's
00:22got 200 000 followers and i'm one of them oh just be careful when you go online to search for
00:29the bears there's a lot of different kinds of bears so um i have some job news of my own with
00:38neville spending more and more time at the zoo in the clinic i've decided that there's something
00:42that i would like to do what is it you want to do well the lanford pd is rehiring ex-cops to deal
00:48with the shortage and i'm gonna apply so i'm gonna be a cop again
00:54who wants to go first i mean i've got stuff but i just want some time to sort it out no
01:03come on everybody isn't this exciting i would join this conversation but i was sworn to secrecy
01:09so i kept my opinion that this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard to myself
01:15and i intend to keep it to myself i assume you're talking about a desk job right no no i want to be
01:23out in the field the last time you were in the field you had to leave the force because you shot
01:27yourself in the leg or as we like to call it the dishonorable discharge it happens a lot otherwise you
01:34wouldn't have the expression shoot yourself in the leg it's shooting the foot it's leg in europe
01:40look if there's anything i've learned from watching my 96 year old mother take a train
01:47across this great land is that we have to never stop challenging ourselves then pick up the mandolin
01:54don't endanger everyone in the community i'm not endangering anybody and the force doesn't have a
02:00specific age limit so if they think it's safe then i think it's safe i i think we should talk about
02:06this at home it's it's dangerous oh you think working with lions and polar bears isn't dangerous
02:12the guy you're replacing has a plaque on the ground next to the churro stand you know i knew the family
02:19would go to town on this but i've always supported you in everything why can't you support me
02:24oh i'd be careful neville when she gets mad she goes after what you love most
02:32well that's not gonna happen because she's what i love most but if you could hold on this jacket
02:39just for a day or two i'd really appreciate it
02:40okay we're here dad what do you need my lawyer asked me to fill out these forms for my lawsuit
03:10against the opioid company and i need you guys to help me remember the details we have to prove
03:16that her overdose was entirely the fault of the drug company and none of us could have done anything
03:22to prevent it okay um they want to know when mom got her first prescription for pain pills
03:28oh well i know it was a monday in mid-september i remember i was working at the casino in that skimpy
03:34outfit i had just gotten my ass grabbed for the first time
03:37then i came home i caught her shoplifting and mark had just gotten beaten up at school again for
03:44wearing a dress and then i was telling mom about it and she said i'm not sure of anything you're
03:50saying because i've just taken my first pain pill uh it was the 14th it was september 14th
03:55definitely definitely september 14th
03:57how in the hell did you remember all that well i might be a little rain manny a lot of girls don't
04:04get tested for that okay when did the doctor cut her off and she had to start getting pills from
04:11friends the doctor never cut her off he kept upping her dosage because she kept complaining that
04:17it wasn't stopping the pain then i found the extra pills that she was getting from her friends
04:21yeah that's also when we found out she had friends i knew she had friends i just didn't
04:27know there were swapping pills like a bunch of san francisco hippies but you knew she was doing it at
04:33some point yeah but after the surgery i thought she was done with all that it would have seemed that
04:39way to anybody i gotta go to work dad you spin things however you need to make it sound like that
04:48hey mom
04:55hey you know since you're always working late at your new job why don't i drop by tonight see
05:04where you work and you can take me out to dinner i'd love to but we're really up against it and
05:10there's only fancy restaurants around there sorry i can do fancy i bought an extra long flannel that i
05:15just felt like a dress i don't think so all right how about lunch i'll let you know when things let
05:22up
05:22oh wait i got you those jingle jangle pretzel twists that you wanted from trader joe's it's okay mom i can
05:29pack my own backpack oh no you're too important now you gotta get used to letting people do things for
05:33you where'd you get this balenciaga it's super expensive right some of the corporate guys at the
05:43office were teasing me about my old navy backpack i was just trying to get one nice thing so they get
05:47off my back holy crap that little bag is thirteen hundred dollars i hope there was twelve hundred
05:53dollars in there when you bought it it's it's not even real i bought it in the alley behind the 7-eleven if
05:59you look closer it says balenciaga oh 7-eleven that's where people get all their fashion knockoffs
06:05can we go there tomorrow i'd like to get a pair of counterfeit sketchers
06:08nobody makes counterfeit sketchers a knockoff would be almost the same price as the real thing
06:13oh almost well excuse me mr one percenter okay mom i really gotta go yeah i bet you do
06:20harris and i were really surprised you came down to pitch in she says it's because you really care
06:32and i bet her five bucks it's because you're still fighting with neville well uh becky sometimes in a
06:38marriage the mature thing to do is separate and cool off and throw his favorite giraffe figurine into
06:44the fireplace hey can we talk we have some stuff to work out but i think you should talk to your
06:52wife first yes neville we can just for a second because it's really busy in here okay i've been
06:58thinking about things and it's not fair to ask you to forget about being a cop if i'm going to be
07:03spending all that time at the zoo which i agree also has an element of danger thank you so here's the
07:09deal i'll quit the job at the zoo and you forget about the whole cop thing i can't believe you
07:15would give that up for me that's who i am well that's what i love about you and you should do
07:20that but i'm still going to be a cop that's not how this works i give up the thing i love more than
07:27anything and you give up the thing that flew into your mind yesterday and we both lose and are unhappy
07:32that's what makes a marriage they just fly into my mind yesterday you know i'm always talking about
07:38what it was like being a cop and how much i miss it well you kind of compromised damn it i mean
07:43forget about the field you could actually die during the physical i'm in great shape do i need
07:48to prove it wow that was weird and impressive now what if the menu had just robbed a bank and said
08:02i'd rather die than go back to the joint okay that's enough i'm sorry it's good sir you're causing
08:08a disturbance at this place of business and i'm gonna have to ask you to leave
08:13fine but you owe me a beautifully carved porcelain figurine of a giraffe wearing a top hat
08:19the monocle was painted on i did that myself
08:24oh hey mind if i join you sure just sitting here all alone
08:35my uh bar fly buddy left early to go to couples therapy he likes to go in a little drunk so he has
08:44an excuse when he says horrible things about his wife i get it and that's why i'm here jackie won't
08:49even talk to me i can't believe she didn't tell me she was thinking about being a cop again
08:54sorry what
08:56are you okay you look like something's got you in a dark place
09:01oh how can you tell you sure it's not just my normal resting darlene face
09:06oh no resting darlene face looks like this
09:10okay now watch the difference
09:14yeah yeah i see it it's subtle yeah
09:20so what's going on
09:22it's mark he's acting really weird and secretive about where he works and then he's out all night
09:30and i don't even have ben around to try to help me deal with it
09:33i'm here keep going
09:35all right well this morning i found a balenciaga man purse in his backpack
09:42that is weird you don't hide a balenciaga bag you rock it
09:46those things go for like 1500 on the real real
09:49how do you know that
09:53you don't know everything about me
09:55just because i'm a down-to-earth guy doesn't mean i didn't intern for anna wintour
10:00but look mark is saving up for school he can't afford something like that
10:12well maybe somebody bought it for him
10:15who would buy mark something that expensive
10:17i don't know
10:18i mean maybe somebody with the means to shower a young man with gifts
10:23you know like a sugar daddy
10:25whoa
10:28you know my mom always said that if we worked hard and had bigger boobs we could get one someday but
10:36without a sugar daddy how are we gonna get bigger boobs it was a circle we just could not close
10:41do you really think that's a possibility
10:45i mean he's a cute young guy who needs help with college
10:49he's a vulnerable target for some old ledge with impeccable taste in designer bags
10:55oh man
10:58well if i've got a 65 year old son-in-law coming i should know about it
11:03i gotta talk to him
11:04that's so cute you think they're gonna get married
11:08oh
11:12i didn't see your truck
11:14i figured you weren't home
11:16finish up
11:17forgot my fancy water bottle
11:20i didn't pay you for a zebra print yeti kind of gal
11:24i like quality things and i'm fun
11:28okay neither of those things are true but they are for whoever left this at the lunchbox
11:33uh hey uh well i don't want to regret asking this
11:38but what did you mean when you said spin it about whose fault your mother's death was
11:44look i know addiction is complicated
11:48but there had to be a moment where someone could have done something to stop the worst from happening
11:53and what could that someone have done
11:57maybe realize that if someone had an addiction before surgery they would still have one after
12:02she told me once her knee was fixed she was done with them
12:05and you believe that
12:06just come out and say whatever the hell you're gonna say
12:09okay
12:11you were with her all day and all night
12:14how could you not see that she was still on something
12:18sometimes we want things to go away so we don't have to deal with them
12:23wait where were you doing all this
12:24oh that's right you were too busy with your own addiction to notice what was going on with your mother
12:30sometimes we just want things to go away so we don't have to deal with them
12:33yes she was your wife she was your mother keep your own side of the street clean
12:38before you accuse other people
12:40i knew you wouldn't be open to talking about this
12:42i'm way open to talking about it i'm not open to being accused
12:47and by the way your water jug may smell like beer
12:50why is that i went for a walk and it's important to stay hydrated
12:54there now if anything happens to me you can tell everybody you saw the signs
12:58oh hey hi hey hi we met at the lobo
13:08yeah you're that crazy old woman who wants to be a cop
13:14no no no no no not trying to bother you and it's not like i'm trying to be a cop i already applied and
13:20now since you're here i could really use a favor
13:23well with everything you've done for me how could i say no
13:26great okay so my husband is trying to stop me from going back on the force because he's afraid i'm gonna
13:32get hurt and he's gonna be here any minute now so i was just thinking maybe you could talk to him
13:37and tell him how the job isn't all that dangerous you know like in lanford some cops can go their
13:42entire careers without pulling their guns so what i'm hearing is if you don't get your husband's
13:48support you don't end up on the force yeah i'd be happy to help okay that's right sisters in blue
13:56helping each other out
14:02hey lunch is on me and here he is now honey honey come here a minute there's somebody i want you to
14:07meet so this is my very good friend um vinkowski
14:16it's nice to meet you officer vinkowski nice to meet you anyway sarge here was just going on
14:23about another boring shift and then that got us to talking about how you might have the wrong idea
14:29about how dangerous the job really is mostly you know it's a lot of community relations stuff yeah
14:36yeah community relations when you're right in the middle of the community trying to take down some
14:42coked up wife chasing her cheating husband into a forever 21 with a crossbow good
14:49lord but there are ways for you to deal with the stress whenever i leave the house my husband
14:56takes his anxiety meds with a fifth of scotch anyway i gotta go it was nice to meet you yeah
15:03you're buying your own damn lunch sarge oh it was worth it
15:11why is this so important to you that you won't let it go
15:14just give me one good reason why i should be okay with this okay i have two reasons right there
15:21these two come in every day and they don't say a word to each other and then last week i was on a
15:27break i was eating soup and i was watching them eat soup and i'm thinking to myself my god that could
15:32be me and neville if we give up leading interesting challenging lives well does interesting and
15:39challenging have to involve coke and a crossbow no but a little bit of danger you know keeps us alive
15:46and excited about sharing things with each other that's what i want for us and also after i shot
15:53myself in the leg i lost respect from all the other officers there and man i would really
15:58love to rewrite that okay i get it go be a cop i'm gonna go get us something sweet to celebrate
16:11well i hope you're happy you may have just killed my wife
16:26hey mark i need to talk to you it'll have to wait i really need to go do some stuff for work
16:32uh no it's important so what's the old geezer's name do you meet him having coffee at mcdonald's
16:40at 5 a.m or pulling up in his bentley to the dialysis center i'm scared did you have a stroke
16:50don't go anywhere aunt jackie keeps texting me she says it's urgent so oh man she didn't even give me a
16:57week a week for what what's going on mark aunt jackie found out i'm making money illegally by
17:07hacking corporate computer data and she said she was gonna tell you or turn me in if i didn't stop
17:13what wait you're a hacker i knew you didn't want me to come to your work yeah yeah but i'm just
17:18hacking email lists i lied about it because i didn't want you to worry oh yeah what would i worry about
17:23are you out of your damn mind it was the only way to make enough to afford the university of chicago
17:28and not burden the family and really pretty considerate if you ask me you're welcome do you
17:33think this is like a joke there are so many other things you could have done you could have dated a
17:38rich old guy i would have been fine with that it would have been great to know before i did the hacking
17:44look you have to stop it's against the law oh yeah i'll quit as soon as i make enough tuition
17:50money but for now it's what i've got to do okay what is happening with you you took somebody else's
17:55adhd meds the police brought you back drunk after you ditched a scooter in a pond and now this do you
18:02understand that if you get arrested you could go to prison and then you can forget about school or
18:07anything else all right it's got to stop that's it or what
18:17or you can't live here
18:21you're making me leave fine harris left you chased that away i guess it's just my turn
18:38hey what's that supposed to mean i don't know hi i just came from a 12-step meeting and i realized
18:47i need to make amends for something i'm waiting i never made amends for chipping your bowling ball
18:54when i was 10. darlene said i couldn't dribble it down the driveway that's okay i appreciate that
19:02anything else we were talking at the meeting about guilt and responsibility i shouldn't have blamed
19:11you for mom's death i'm sorry um i think i did it because like you said if i hadn't been drinking
19:22i think i could have helped her you couldn't have helped her i'm sorry i just said that because i was
19:31mad but we're never going to lose the feeling that we could have done more i just couldn't believe that
19:39someone as strong as her couldn't beat it those bastards could have made the pills taste like
19:44broccoli she'd still be alive today i'm gonna go make amends you want to come with me to the grave site
19:51oh sure hey can you wait till the night i like to steal flowers for for the merch people's grave
19:57hey is mark here no why because i threatened to kick him out of the house yesterday and he left
20:04he's probably fine but sure he just wants you to worry for a while you kids used to put us through
20:09that all the time well if you were worried how come you never looked for us we left the door unlocked
20:14it's not like we weren't trying hey hey uh i'll have a burger plain fries and a side of ranch oh you
20:31like ranch on your fries yeah you know