Murphy Brown Season 7 Episode 24 Make Room For Daddy
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Murphy put me in charge of planning Peter's bachelor party.
00:04Apparently his best man is shackled to a wall in some Iraqi prison.
00:10You're not going to have it at a strip club, are you?
00:13Yeah. What's the matter with that?
00:16It's just it. The one time I went to a stag party at a strip club,
00:20the other guys forced me to jello to wrestle.
00:22Five seconds into the round, I was put in a full Nelson and slammed into the canvas.
00:26They sent over the stripper just like a nurse, but she didn't know anything.
00:30What do you want me to do, Miles?
00:31It was either that or Jeannie and Treble's sister doing the dance of the seven veils.
00:37Sounds funny.
00:38She's 86.
00:40Even better. That means I can push her up if I can.
00:43Probably, Miles, you won't be disappointed.
00:46There's this one woman there who strips down to a g-string,
00:48and then she types 65 words per minute.
00:52Never makes a mistake.
00:54Relax, Frank.
00:55I didn't expect you to throw Peter a bachelor party at the public library.
00:59Do you really think I'm threatening?
01:00Hey, hey.
01:01When you put Frank Fontana in charge of a bachelor party,
01:05be threatening.
01:08I know, maybe you're right.
01:10An evening of loud music, watered-down drinks,
01:13chunky women bumping and grinding out of sync.
01:15Oh, jeannie, how come I can do that?
01:18He's right, so I have to go.
01:19Murphy, there's a call for you from Cuba.
01:22Oh, I figure.
01:24Don't go in there, Murphy.
01:25Every time you talk to him, the wedding gets pushed to another day,
01:28and I have to rearrange my schedule.
01:30Hmm.
01:31Sit home in front of the TV-eating fish sticks on the 24th,
01:34or sit home in front of the TV-eating fish sticks on the 31st.
01:37I'm sorry, Frank.
01:38I'll try to nail down the date for you a little bit.
01:43Okay, so why are we moving at this time?
01:46Murphy, I have no intention of rescheduling the wedding.
01:49The wedding date is fine.
01:50Oh, great.
01:51It's the honeymoon I need to change.
01:53Oh, jeez, what came up now?
01:55You're not going to believe this.
01:56I just set up an interview with the leader of the Bosnian militia.
02:00So I was wondering,
02:01do you think we could push the honeymoon back to the week of the 19th?
02:03Oh, I can't do that.
02:05I have to be in New York.
02:07All right, here's an idea.
02:09I'm going to be in Sarajevo from the 12th to the 17th.
02:11Maybe we could rendezvous there.
02:13Peter, I don't know if I'm especially comfortable
02:15having my honeymoon in a place the U.N.
02:17is trying to shoot their way out of.
02:20And here's another thing we could do at Murphy's Shower.
02:22We could kidnap her and take her to Atlantic City.
02:25Wait, I have a better idea.
02:26I know this guy who has a portable tattoo kit.
02:30We could give the entire bridal party ankle skulls.
02:33Those are all really great ideas, McGovern.
02:36But you didn't know you're not invited.
02:39I know.
02:40I always enjoy it more when I show up and they don't want me there.
02:44Hey, Miles.
02:46Hi.
02:48So how's Vendela?
02:50Oh.
02:51Well, things didn't really work out between us.
02:55Oh.
02:56That's too bad.
02:57It's okay.
02:58There'll be other supermodels.
02:59Well.
03:03Mom's lunch.
03:04Oh.
03:05Well.
03:06Yeah.
03:06See you around.
03:07Come on.
03:12Shall we dance?
03:14Miles, you're so funny.
03:17What's so funny?
03:18Miles and I were just trying to get by each other.
03:21And we kept blocking each other's way.
03:22So Miles said, shall we dance?
03:28Political humor.
03:32Come on, Courtney.
03:33Let's blow this joint.
03:41So what's the latest?
03:42Have the plans changed again or should I put my fish sticks back in the freezer?
03:45No, the plans haven't changed, but it looks like I'll be spending my honeymoon around the same time as my silver wedding anniversary.
03:52Do you think we'll be able to find a place with a heart-shaped orthopedic bed?
03:56The two people who want to get married is you're having a hard time making it happen.
04:01What's that supposed to mean, hard time making it happen?
04:03What do you mean by that, Frank?
04:04Oh, it's just a joke.
04:06I'm just saying you two are having a hard time getting together on this whole marriage thing.
04:09There you go again.
04:11What?
04:11Well, I mean, implying that Peter and I don't want to get married, but in fact, we do very much want to get married.
04:16We're just two very busy people with very busy schedules.
04:19So is Lugger.
04:19How's the wedding coming?
04:20Oh, blow it out of your ear.
04:29Thank you for lunch, Miller.
04:31Yeah, it was good, wasn't it?
04:32But you really didn't have to pay for it.
04:35What, a man can't buy a woman a meal just because he wants to?
04:39You're so sweet.
04:40By the way, I think we should have sex.
04:44It was hard, but I said.
04:48Now?
04:49No, not now.
04:52Could we now?
04:54No.
04:54Okay, so later then.
04:57Miller, we haven't been seeing each other that long.
05:01I'm not sure I'm ready.
05:02Okay, I understand.
05:05These things take the time.
05:07So, how's Friday?
05:09Can I put you down for a yes?
05:10Miller, listen.
05:12If we were going to take our relationship to that next level,
05:17I'd have to know that you were the one.
05:22Which one?
05:24The one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
05:26Whoa, way to bring the room down.
05:33Okay.
05:35Corky, I like you.
05:37And I wouldn't want to rush you into anything that you're not ready for.
05:41So, I'll tell you what.
05:43I'm going to leave you to think about it,
05:45and you can get back to me.
05:48Corky, would you...
05:49Oh, Miller.
05:51I'll be going now, Corky.
05:54But, uh, just so you know,
05:56I'm keeping Friday night open for...
06:00that thing we were talking about.
06:07Okay, Corky, I want an answer.
06:08Have you been spreading the ugly rumor
06:10that people who aren't invited to my wedding
06:12don't have to send me gifts?
06:15I just want to be clear about this.
06:17Um, the thing that I'm referring to
06:20rhymes with...
06:23gex.
06:27I know, Miller.
06:29Okay.
06:35Murphy.
06:37If a person is in a relationship
06:39and they're having doubts about taking it to that
06:42next level,
06:44what do you think that says about that relationship?
06:48Look, I am really beginning to resent this.
06:51Peter and I are two very busy people
06:53with very busy lives.
06:54Murphy, I'm not talking about you.
06:56I'm talking about Miller and me.
06:59Oh.
07:00Then let's get to the bottom of this
07:02ugly no-gift rumor.
07:03How do we smell it?
07:04Murphy, I don't know what to do.
07:06Miller just asked me to have sex with him.
07:08Ew, I just had lunch.
07:09Don't know how I feel about him.
07:14I mean,
07:15sex is a really big deal with me.
07:18The only person I've ever had sex with is Will.
07:20And that's because we were married.
07:22We all know how that turned out.
07:23Oh, come on, Corky.
07:25Nobody could have predicted
07:26how your marriage would have turned out.
07:28You know what, Murphy?
07:29Murphy, the funny thing is,
07:30I think I could have.
07:32What are you talking about?
07:33I was at your wedding
07:34and when you finally did walk down the aisle,
07:36you looked incredibly happy.
07:38Oh, that was on the outside, Murphy.
07:40On the inside, I kept asking myself,
07:42are you doing the right thing?
07:43But that's normal, right, to question?
07:47I guess.
07:48But you shouldn't, Murphy.
07:50Just because my marriage ended
07:51in a pathetic pile of shattered hopes and dreams
07:54doesn't mean yours does to.
07:56I mean, you and Peter
07:58are obviously sure about each other.
08:01Yeah.
08:02I just want to be really, really clear.
08:06Okay.
08:08That Gex thing on Friday night?
08:11Yeah, it can't happen until after 7
08:13because I've got a facial.
08:17What the heck?
08:19I'll cancel it.
08:23The search for the funniest...
08:25Hey, guys.
08:30Hey, did you see that brunette over there?
08:33The one in the viking helmet?
08:35I think she was looking at me
08:36and not the way she was looking
08:38at all the other guys
08:39who were waving $20 bills at her.
08:41I think we made a real connection.
08:44If you'd make me believe
08:45we'd be attending a gentleman's club,
08:47I envision.
08:48Brandy of cigars
08:49and stimulating conversation
08:51of unlike-minded men.
08:52Where's a can?
08:53And I've got to throw up.
08:57You don't understand why
08:58I'm sitting here
08:59when the guest of honor
09:00hasn't bothered to show up.
09:01Come on, Peter will be here
09:02in a few minutes.
09:03He's just delayed.
09:03Why don't you guys just relax
09:05and join these ladies?
09:06Oh, I'm sorry.
09:11Hey.
09:12Don't touch the girls.
09:14Oh, I didn't.
09:15You see?
09:15Don't touch the girls.
09:17No, I didn't.
09:17I'm watching you.
09:20Her.
09:22Her.
09:28Tim, I left my wallet
09:29back at the office.
09:31You think you could
09:31lend me $20?
09:33God, that grandpa's
09:34still looking at me.
09:37Hi.
09:39Oh, no, no, no.
09:39Please, please, go away.
09:44No touching.
09:45No touching.
09:47Hey, Jim.
09:53Check out the one over there.
09:55Which one?
09:56A scientist?
09:58No, the Dutch milkman.
10:01Ooh.
10:05What are you doing here?
10:07Oh, come on.
10:08Peter's flight got delayed.
10:09He's going to try to make it,
10:10but in case he can't,
10:11I don't want him to be
10:12submitted of the only
10:13bachelor party you'll ever have.
10:15All right, everybody.
10:16Oh, come on, Miles.
10:22Don't let me in here,
10:23but you just do what
10:24you'd normally do.
10:26All right, all right.
10:26I'll get the ball rolling.
10:28Woo-hoo!
10:29Okay, come on.
10:29You're coming.
10:30I'll get the ball rolling.
10:35Shake it, baby.
10:36That is nice.
10:42It is really awkward
10:44with you being here.
10:46Stop being silly.
10:47We tell dirty jokes together,
10:49we play poker together.
10:50This isn't any different than that.
10:52Just think of me
10:52as one of the guys.
10:53So, Rick,
10:56I want to ask you a question
10:57about your mother.
10:58What?
10:58My mother?
10:59Yeah.
11:00Do you think she's happy
11:01in her marriage?
11:02I don't know.
11:03Mark, why are you asking me
11:04about my mother
11:04in a strip club?
11:05Oh, I forget I asked.
11:07Woo-woo!
11:11Great.
11:12Now they all have
11:12my mother's face.
11:15I'm sorry to wait.
11:17I would have been here sooner,
11:18but I went to the wrong bar.
11:19I thought you guys
11:20said nudie nudes.
11:21This place is nudie nudes.
11:23Well, if you'll excuse me,
11:25I gotta go change at five.
11:32Uh, can I have a club soda, please?
11:34Are you Murphy?
11:35Oh, hey, John.
11:36Let me ask you something.
11:37Oh, that's okay, Murphy.
11:38I read the memo.
11:39I'm not coming to the wedding,
11:40but you're still getting your gift.
11:42Oh, okay.
11:43I don't know what I'm talking about.
11:45How long have you been married?
11:47Twelve years.
11:48Hmm.
11:49And how did you know
11:50getting married
11:51was the right thing to do?
11:52I knew it was right
11:53because I realized
11:54that I'd do anything for my wife
11:56and she'd do anything for me.
11:58Huh.
11:58I mean, like tonight,
12:00she stayed home with the kids
12:01so I could come here.
12:03So that's what it's all about,
12:05doing things for each other.
12:08Wow.
12:09And I think she didn't mind
12:10staying home alone
12:11with the kids
12:11on a Friday night
12:12when she hadn't seen you
12:14all week,
12:15changing diapers,
12:16giving baths,
12:17cleaning out hamster cages.
12:18Also, you could sit
12:19on a stool
12:20munching pretzels,
12:21watching naked women
12:22in a strip club.
12:25I gotta go.
12:28Hang on, honey.
12:29I'm coming home.
12:32Excuse me,
12:33can I ask you something?
12:35Are you married?
12:36To the most wonderful woman
12:38in the world.
12:40Gloria, I love you.
12:41So you're saying
12:44that marriage
12:45is a tremendous
12:46leap of faith,
12:47that you've just gotta
12:47jump in with both of you
12:49and trust that
12:49everything will work out
12:50and as long as
12:51you love each other
12:52and you're being
12:53together,
12:54that's all the good
12:54that matters.
12:56Give my best
12:57to Beth, Joanne,
12:57and Barb.
12:58Just safely.
12:59No more.
13:03Listen, Murphy,
13:04I overheard
13:05your conversation
13:06and I think
13:08I know what
13:08you're going through.
13:10Yeah, right,
13:10the big date's
13:12approaching
13:12and you're having
13:13second thoughts
13:14about getting married.
13:15Am I right?
13:17Maybe.
13:18Okay, well,
13:18here's a little something
13:19that might help you
13:20make your decision.
13:21Peter is a very
13:23handsome man.
13:25Now, as you know,
13:27I'm not gay.
13:29But if I were gay,
13:31I guarantee you
13:32I would be all
13:33over him.
13:35You know what?
13:37I think we'd like
13:37a very attractive couple.
13:39I can see the other
13:41gay couple staring
13:42with envy as we
13:43stroll hand-in-hand
13:44down the promenade.
13:46You've been a big help,
13:47and I'll tell you
13:47something else.
13:48If Peter were gay,
13:50he'd be very lucky
13:52to have you.
13:52You are turning my head,
13:58Murphy Brown.
14:03There you are.
14:05Dear Lord,
14:06look it.
14:07It's one thing for
14:08Murphy to be here,
14:08but this is not
14:09transformative.
14:10Here's your wallet
14:11with the money
14:11for the hookers.
14:13They're strippers,
14:14not hookers.
14:15Whatever.
14:16Those moral distinctions
14:17are lost in the eyes
14:18of the Lord.
14:23Hello, Miles.
14:25Oh, hello, Corky.
14:27If you're looking
14:27for Miller,
14:28he's over there
14:28trying to check out
14:29his reflection
14:30in the disco ball.
14:32I'm not looking
14:33for Miller.
14:34In fact,
14:35I don't think
14:35we'll be seeing
14:36each other anymore.
14:38Really?
14:38That's very interesting.
14:42Yeah, well,
14:42I realize Miller
14:43and I don't
14:43have enough
14:44in common.
14:45I see.
14:46And you came
14:47here to tell me that?
14:49No, I came here
14:50to get Frank his wallet.
14:51Oh.
14:53Well, anyway,
14:54I just thought
14:55you should know
14:55about Miller and me,
14:57I mean.
14:57Well, thanks for telling me.
14:59Thanks for listening.
15:01See ya.
15:01Bye.
15:02Bye.
15:07I told you,
15:12don't touch the girl.
15:13Quick, quick, quick.
15:19Can I give you some money
15:20and I owe you a hoax?
15:22Where's the rest of it?
15:23In Bo Peep's Bustier.
15:24We really connected.
15:26See you later.
15:28Jim, wait.
15:29Can you help me out
15:30with something
15:30before you go?
15:31Sorry, slugger.
15:32The bank of dial
15:33is closed.
15:33No, no, no.
15:34It's about you and Doris.
15:36You've been together
15:37a long time.
15:39How did you know
15:40that marrying Doris
15:41was the right thing to do?
15:42I don't know.
15:46I suppose
15:46it's because
15:47I couldn't imagine
15:48not marrying her.
15:50What keeps you married?
15:53Well,
15:55there's her asymmetrical smile
15:57and the way
15:58she sucks her cheeks
15:59when she's angry
16:00and her unbelievable skill
16:03with the New York Times
16:03crossword puzzle.
16:05And the company knowledge
16:07that somewhere
16:07in this cold world
16:09kind, loving soul
16:12is waiting for her.
16:13Hey, guys.
16:15This place is
16:16Deadsville.
16:17What do you say
16:17we take this party
16:18on the road?
16:19At this hour?
16:20Oh, yeah, sure.
16:21There's nudie nudes,
16:24naked nudies,
16:25nothing but naked nudes,
16:28the candy shop,
16:29which actually used to be
16:30a long-air thing.
16:32Piano sounds of...
16:33Questions about money,
16:35travel,
16:36marriage?
16:37Your psychic companion
16:38has the answers
16:40for only $3.95 a minute.
16:43John,
16:44with our wedding date
16:45approaching,
16:46I've been,
16:47well,
16:48confused.
16:49But I think
16:50I finally found
16:51the answer
16:51I've been looking for.
16:53Interesting, Nancy,
16:55because I've come up
16:56with an answer
16:56of my own.
16:57Yeah.
16:59Hey.
16:59Hey.
16:59Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:00Hey.
17:01Hey.
17:01Hey.
17:01Hey.
17:02Hey.
17:02Hey.
17:02Hey.
17:02Hey.
17:03Hey.
17:03Hey.
17:03Hey.
17:03Hey.
17:03Hey.
17:04Hey.
17:04Hey.
17:04Hey.
17:05Hey.
17:05Hey.
17:06Hey.
17:07I guess
17:14unless they
17:14move the party
17:15back here,
17:15I missed it,
17:17huh?
17:18Yeah.
17:20Don't worry.
17:21I got videotaped
17:22footage of most
17:23of it.
17:24It's mostly
17:25just beautiful
17:26naked women
17:27dancing around
17:28on the stage.
17:28It gets old.
17:32So how
17:33are the wedding
17:33glides coming?
17:35Good.
17:37You're on the cake
17:38yet?
17:39Ooh.
17:40Um, no, I forgot.
17:42Did you figure out
17:44the seating arrangement?
17:46I couldn't find a pen.
17:49Gotcha.
17:50Wedding's a week away
17:51and we still haven't
17:52nailed down
17:53all these details.
17:56That's, uh,
17:56it's funny, isn't it?
17:58You know, Peter, I've been thinking a lot about us and marriage.
18:12Oh, you know, I have been, too.
18:15I've been grilling every married person I can find.
18:18You talk to people?
18:19Yeah.
18:20Gee, I just sort of wrestled with it on my own, but it's just the kind of person I am.
18:27So did you come to any conclusions?
18:30Have you?
18:31Um, yeah.
18:35Yeah, I think...
18:36I think we should do it.
18:40Me, too.
18:42Although, um,
18:44the thought did occur to me that
18:46maybe we shouldn't get married right away.
18:50You know, we did come to this decision in the middle of a hurricane.
18:53A moment of crisis.
18:54I mean...
18:55It's never the best time to make a big decision.
18:59You know, something else occurred to me.
19:00I mean, maybe we're doing this
19:02because we sort of ran out of places to go with a relationship.
19:06I mean, maybe we're getting married not because
19:08we want to, but because it's just
19:10the thing that
19:11people in a relationship are expected to do.
19:15Right.
19:16I mean, who's to say a relationship
19:18has to keep moving forward?
19:20Why can't it just
19:21idle a while?
19:23And look at our whole long-distance thing.
19:26That's...
19:26Right.
19:27We can't even schedule our honeymoon.
19:29How are we supposed to schedule
19:31the rest of our lives together?
19:36Wait a minute.
19:37Wait, wait, wait.
19:39You know what this sounds like to me?
19:41This sounds like just your typical cold feet.
19:47Right.
19:48Right.
19:49It's just a case of
19:50pre-wedding jitters.
19:52You know,
19:53I was with my brother the night before he got married
19:56and I heard him saying some of the exact same things.
19:59I mean, he and his wife have been married for 17 years now.
20:02Well, of course.
20:03This isn't about marriage.
20:06It's about the wedding.
20:07I mean, we're just so caught up in these wedding details
20:11that we're convinced we're in some sort of emotional dilemma
20:14when really it's just the stupid wedding details
20:17that are screwing us up.
20:18That's it.
20:18I mean, we're not details people.
20:20We're rash people.
20:23So why don't we do something rash?
20:27Let's get married tonight.
20:31Tonight?
20:31Yeah.
20:32Right now.
20:32Well, why not?
20:38We're rash people.
20:40I'll get my jacket.
20:44I'll get Avery.
20:45You get my jacket and I'll get Avery.
20:58Well, I guess we're not as rash as we thought we were.
21:01Nope.
21:08Well, it's lucky you didn't make the seating arrangement.
21:13Good thing you didn't order the cake, huh?
21:15Hmm.
21:21So what do we do now?
21:22Well, it doesn't have to mean anything.
21:28I mean, just because we're putting off the wedding
21:31doesn't mean that our relationship has to change.
21:35Right?
21:37Right.
21:42Well, I'm kind of beat, you know.
21:50Yeah, me too.
21:51You know, I'll tell you.
21:57I really should get back and start
21:59prepping my story for tomorrow.
22:02Hey, I gotta wash that cigar smoke out of my hair.
22:16Well.
22:17You know, I really meant it when I proposed to you.
22:44I really meant it when I said yes.
22:47I really meant it to you.
22:51I'm fine.
22:54I didn't know.
22:56I didn't know.
22:57I didn't know.
23:02I don't know.
23:03I don't know.
23:09I didn't know.
23:13You know?
23:14I didn't know.
23:15Mommy, I can't sleep.
23:29You can't sleep, honey?
23:32You can't sleep, honey.
23:35Oh, my God.
23:37You want to dance with me?
23:39Mm-hmm.
23:45For you, I'll do my best.
23:48Stand by it like a tree.
23:50And dare anybody to try and move me.
23:53Darling, in you I'll find strength where I was torn down.
23:59Don't know what's in store, but together we can open it and go.
24:03Oh, baby.
24:04Come on, darling.
24:07I'll inspire you a little higher.
24:09You can't make a man out of the soul again.
24:13I'm all for me.
24:15We got the right foundation.
24:19And we're in love and peace.
24:22So.
24:24This Saturday, meet a chef who's a monkey.
24:27It's Monkey Chef.
24:29Nick at Night's newest original show.
24:32April Fools.
24:34Don't miss the High Jinks April Fools Day Marathon.
24:37This Saturday at 10, only on Nick at Night.
24:43Expl W donors.
24:44Yeah.
24:45Thanks a lot.
25:02Bye.
25:04Bye.
25:05Bye.
25:06Bye-bye.
25:07Bye.
25:08Bye-bye.
25:09Bye-bye.
25:11Bye-bye.
25:11Bye-bye.