Murphy Brown Season 5 Episode 21 Two For The Road
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00:00Sweet and sour chicken looks good, Frank.
00:04Sesame noodles, Corky. That's an excellent choice.
00:07Come on.
00:10I went with my usual lo mein.
00:12Yep, that's the old lo mein. No surprises here.
00:16Unlike that mysterious and magical shrimp dish you're eating there, Jim.
00:25Phil, Phil's here.
00:26Come on, everybody.
00:28Hi.
00:28Go, go, Bill.
00:31Peter.
00:32Bill, everybody look to see her.
00:34Bill, Bill, what are you doing here, Bill?
00:38Oh, I was just catering some fancy schmancy lunch and up in the executive wing.
00:43I thought I'd drop by and...
00:46What's this?
00:49Uh, well, let's see. It's, uh, seems to be wood and pointy.
00:53Boy, I'm stumped.
00:55Anyone else?
00:55I smell Kung Pao shrimp.
00:58What the hell is going on here?
01:07You're cheating on me.
01:10It's just cheap takeout. It doesn't mean anything.
01:13Is it just this one Chinese place or have there been others?
01:17Well, don't tell me.
01:21I don't want to know.
01:25Tell my man.
01:26What do you got in the box, Miles?
01:28What do you got in the box, Miles?
01:28Miles, bogeys for the crew?
01:30What ever happened to that little thing called loyalty?
01:33I feel so huge.
01:36Poor Phil.
01:41Every time Clinton's photographed eating at another McDonald's, he goes off the deep end.
01:46Miles, are you hungry?
01:47Grab a play.
01:47I'm not hungry, Corky.
01:49And after you see what I have in this box, none of you will have much of an appetite either.
01:53Here it is.
01:54The new set for FYI.
01:56What new set?
01:56You've got to be kidding.
01:57Oh, no, listen here, Miles.
02:00I'm senior anchor.
02:01If there's a new set, I should have been consulted weeks ago.
02:04I agree, Jim.
02:05But unfortunately, Mitchell Baldwin, whose title Senior VP of News outranks yours, likes to do things his way.
02:11He calls it a set for the 21st century designed to move FYI into the future.
02:15It's weird.
02:16It's ugly.
02:17Oh, it's stupid.
02:18That was my idea.
02:20I pitched this set for the network five years ago.
02:22They laughed at me.
02:24They called me Silverberg the Dreamer.
02:26Are you so desperate to get recognition from Baldwin, you'll take credit for the dumbest idea ever?
02:32Yes.
02:33There are no chairs.
02:35Where are we expected to sit?
02:37No, don't tell me.
02:38In the 21st century, news people will have no need to sit.
02:41Is that it?
02:42We'll just all be expected to stand around.
02:44Our legs now grotesquely overdeveloped.
02:47And those rebels among us who still enjoy sitting will be shipped off to some penal colony somewhere.
02:53Jim, you would do the news from these podium things.
02:56See?
02:57There you are.
02:58Standing.
02:59That looks just like you, Jim.
03:00Oh, and this must be...
03:03Oh, man.
03:05It drew me with less hair than I have now.
03:08It's the future, Frank.
03:10Did you think you would have more hair?
03:14I think we all agree this set is a huge mistake.
03:17It's ugly and we hate it.
03:18I say we just confront Baldwin and tell him we don't want it.
03:20It was my idea.
03:21Come on, Murph.
03:22Admit it.
03:22We don't have a shot.
03:24Baldwin has been here for eight months.
03:25We haven't gotten our way with him once.
03:27The guy is impossible to manipulate.
03:29Frank, no one's impossible to manipulate.
03:32Besides, I think I've finally gotten a handle on Mr. Mitchell Baldwin.
03:36The man respects strength.
03:37And every time we give in to him, it hurts us.
03:39Now, I say the next time we see him, we play hardball.
03:41We just tell him straight out, no set.
03:43No way.
03:44He's the dream of church.
03:45Frank, what are you doing with that?
03:48Coloring in my hair.
03:53Good afternoon, everybody.
03:55Hey, Mitchell.
03:56How's it going?
03:57Oh, Miles, I see you've had a chance to present our exciting new set to the team.
04:02So, the new FYI, what do you think?
04:05I think it's a piece of...
04:06Genius!
04:08That's right, Mitchell.
04:09We all think it's a brilliant design concept.
04:13As brilliant now as it would have been, say, five years ago.
04:16Miles.
04:16We are having a few minor problems.
04:19What kind of problems?
04:20We hate it.
04:23Look, I'm aware that the set I proposed here, a two-level, state-of-the-art, high-definition,
04:28multi-monitor media environment, is a radical departure from what you're all used to, fake
04:34wood and carpet.
04:35Fake wood and carpet.
04:36But I'm convinced that this is the proper set to propel FYI into the new millennium.
04:45We've already shown it to some focus groups, and they test it very well.
04:49With who?
04:49The Klingons?
04:50All this talk of a new set is ridiculous.
04:54When I started out, the set was a desk, a globe, a clock, occasionally ready for a nest
05:01to walk through trying to hawk a refrigerator.
05:04Those were simpler times.
05:06Times when people sat.
05:07Look, Mitchell, FYI and that fake wood have been very successful for 15 years.
05:17Listen to us.
05:18We know what works.
05:19Well, I guess if you feel that strongly, I'll have to think about it.
05:23I thought you'd see it, my wife.
05:25I said I'd think about it.
05:26Oh, and Murphy, as long as I'm here, I'm sponsoring this corporate dinner for the Washington
05:31Inner City Scholarship Fund.
05:32It's a great cause, and your presence would definitely help us raise more money.
05:36You don't have to say another word, Mitchell.
05:38I'd be happy to help you out.
05:40That's terrific.
05:41Sunday night, 8 o'clock.
05:42I'll have my assistants in your directions.
05:44Uh, better yet, why don't we go together?
05:47That way we take one car, save fuel emissions, and make Al Gore happy.
05:51Pick me up at 7.
05:52Fine, 7 it is.
05:53I'll see you then.
05:56Well, so much for the hardball.
06:00We're still stuck with this awful set, and on top of it, he got you to do a favor for him.
06:06Corky, Corky, he didn't get me to go to the dinner.
06:10I wanted to go.
06:11That way I get him out of the office, his center of power, and into my house, my center of power.
06:17Once he's there, I'll get him to drive to the dinner in my car, my center of power on wheels.
06:21With each little backlight, then, I'm setting up a pattern for the bigger one.
06:25And the beauty of it is, he won't even know it's happening.
06:29You just wait.
06:30By Monday morning, we'll have our old setback.
06:34Um, Frank, I think you can stop coloring now.
06:36You look like Wayne Newton.
06:40Look at this.
06:43Do you believe it?
06:44He's late.
06:46Baldwin's never late.
06:48I know what he's doing.
06:49He's trying to get the upper hand.
06:52See?
06:52Here I am, waiting for him.
06:55By asking him to come at seven, I have the power.
06:57By showing up late, he's taking it back.
06:58I hate this.
07:01You know, sometimes, your voice takes on the exact timber of a ten-foot truck going under a nine-foot overpass.
07:12Eldon, that's him.
07:13Tell him I'm not ready.
07:14What do you mean you are ready?
07:16Eldon, just lie to him.
07:18Whoa, lie?
07:19Eldon Bernicke does not lie.
07:22Eldon, I have to keep him waiting in order to get back the balance of power.
07:26Just make up a reason why I'm running late.
07:28No.
07:29No, that's underhanded.
07:31It's against my personal code of ethics.
07:33And when it comes to lying, I'm real bad.
07:36Oh, like that's ever stopped anyone in Washington.
07:38Just do it.
07:39Whoa.
07:40Whoa.
07:40Whoa.
07:40Whoa.
07:41Whoa.
07:41Whoa.
07:41Whoa.
07:41Whoa.
07:41Whoa.
07:42Whoa.
07:42Whoa.
07:42Whoa.
07:42Whoa.
07:42Whoa.
07:43Whoa.
07:43Whoa.
07:44Whoa.
07:44Whoa.
07:44Whoa.
07:45Whoa.
07:46Whoa.
07:46Whoa.
07:47Uh, hello.
07:49Is this Murphy Brown's residence?
07:51Yeah.
07:51Come in.
07:52Come in.
08:07So, is Murphy ready?
08:10She's, uh...
08:12It was a terrible accident.
08:14She came running down these stairs earlier, and she tripped over that toolbox.
08:20Just at the moment that I was working with exposed electrical wiring, she fell on the live
08:25wires.
08:25Pzzzzz.
08:26Took on about 100, 160 volts, burned her hair, her dress, blacked out some of her teeth.
08:37I'm her brother, Leon Shrimley.
08:38Will you get down here?
08:39I'm your brother.
08:41I'm sorry.
08:41I'm real?
08:41I'm sorry.
08:42But she's for this guy.
08:43I've been on all of her.
08:44I see you've been on a drug.
08:45I'm sorry.
08:46I've seen her have a good night.
08:46I see you've met him.
08:47Your brother, Leon Shumlock.
08:48Shroomlee.
08:49Lee.
08:50Lee.
08:50I have to go now.
08:54You.
08:55Sorry.
08:55I'm sorry.
09:00You lost my mind.
09:01You've seen me.
09:02Come on.
09:02I'll have to excuse my mind.
09:04We'll have to excuse him.
09:06so i hope i haven't kept you waiting too long not at all actually i was a little late myself
09:11oh is that right i hadn't noticed uh well i guess we should go mitchell listen since you were kind
09:18enough to drive all the way over here why don't i drive the rest of the way i'll just get my keys
09:23no it's okay murphy i like to drive besides i'm parked behind you in the driveway
09:30you know mitchell this is a little embarrassing but um i tend to get car sick riding in the
09:34passenger seats all that weaving and popping so i think i should drive oh you'll be fine i have a
09:40range rover the ride is as smooth as ice well you don't know from ice you've ridden in my porch i'm
09:46too big i can't fit in the porch oh after you uh no after me um
09:57oh you know since we're going to be taking your car why don't i supply the driving music
10:05if i remember correctly you listen to country right that's right hey well this is your chance
10:10to hear some motan i'll just get my tapes
10:25again murphy i'm sorry i completely forgot that my cd system doesn't play tapes yeah it's funny the
10:32things one forgets sometimes
10:50uh mitchell you know i think i'm getting that car sickness thing i mentioned you don't mind if i
10:54turn this down for a while do you oh no problem would you like a little fresh air yeah that might be nice
10:59um your power window doesn't seem to be working oh no they're fine i have it set so i control all
11:07the windows from my side you want it down uh maybe it'd be a little easier if you switched it so i
11:13could do it myself oh it's okay i don't want to fiddle around with the controls while i'm driving
11:18just say when oh that's a little too much can you just put up a touch sure
11:24a bit more more more more uh too much just slow again down a little
11:34why don't i switch it so you can adjust it from your side oh okay
11:37so this is a range rover not bad but couldn't you get the same effect by buying a ford explorer
11:53and gluing 20 grand to the hood uh mitchell i think you might want to take your next left here
12:00no thanks but i know where i'm going murphy i'm sure you do it's just that i've lived here for 15 years i
12:06feel i might have a little better lay of the land i think i've planned this out pretty good murphy
12:11we'll just take roll down and over to first then first to brian and
12:18nothing this route is fine murphy i didn't say it wasn't we'll get there
12:25of course we'll be a little late but you're fine with that i am good how late worried no
12:3910 15 minutes it's not the ideal scenario given that you're the chairman of the event but i'm sure
12:46they'll understand once they see those directions you can get us there sooner you take your next
12:53left go for three blocks a right under the bridge another left through the industrial park a right
12:58left we'll be there in nine minutes flat nine minutes from county
13:07so mitchell we've been working together for a while now i think you've come to respect my opinion on
13:14matters regarding fyi you know editorial policy set design that kind of thing get some shots on
13:23this baby why don't you the street is all dug up look at that sign they're doing road work oh that
13:30sign's been there for years we locals don't pay any attention to it the road's fine we'll be there in
13:35eight minutes and fifteen seconds yeah well i usually don't like driving
13:44so here it is fine boy the breaking distance on this thing leaves something to be desired
13:50am i right oh boy oh boy oh boy
13:56so what's the story it's your oil pan how is it i won't know until i can take a look at it so it's
14:08it's not here i knew it as soon as it happened i said to myself this car is minus one oil pan
14:16thank you murphy what about the muffler it's no good gone gone would be a big improvement
14:26wrapped around the rear axle
14:30you've been driving my porsche we could have maneuvered around that time well no problem
14:34we're stuck to my route there wouldn't have been a pothole to maneuver around
14:38your rally taking us forever oh right as opposed to yours journey to the center of the earth
14:43they say what's happening here huh two people uh feeling the strain of the situation looking to
14:51assign the blame you gotta channel your anger at this moment
14:56convert it away from each other and use this time for introspection and personal cleansing
15:04oh yeah we'll do that can you fix this excuse me murphy this is my car i think i can handle this
15:11i know how to talk to a mechanic hector do you think you can repair the damage oh that was very
15:18impressive and so much clearer you should teach a seminar if you don't have anything positive to add
15:24why don't you go back to playing with the air compressor nah i'm sick of that look we're in a big
15:29hurry is there any way that you can patch things up enough so i can drive it now it's gonna take me at
15:33least an hour to fix this uh maybe two oh wonderful this is just wonderful all right where's your phone
15:42i'll call the cab i think not i've only seen one cab in this neighborhood after dark and uh it was
15:49involved in a high speed chase at the time my friends are going to be here for a while so i suggest you
15:56relax uh make yourself comfortable this is unbelievable our car is trashed sponsor the dinner
16:12that i'm not gonna make it to once started what a lovely evening thank you oh like i'm having fun just
16:21i wanted to spend my evening being analyzed by penzoil's answer to sigmund freud
16:29i need another quarter oh you're not gonna eat stuff out of the vending machine
16:33those malted milk balls look like they've got fur growing out of them i don't care i'm hungry do you
16:38or do you not have a quarter okay okay but if i'm kicking it half i want something i can eat too
16:46um let's get the cheese and crackers no i'm getting the peanut butter cups cheese and crackers better
16:51way to go hold it hold it i was the one who came up with the idea i think i should have first choice and
16:56i like peanut butter cups wow that's a fascinating bit of personal information mitchell shopping for you
17:02is going to be much easier this christmas peanut butter cups are more filling cheese and crackers are
17:09healthier peanut butter cups are easier to split cheese and crackers cover two food groups dairy and grain
17:14while peanut butter cups cover only one the lard family
17:20i want the peanut butter cups okay okay i don't want to be a big baby like some people and i mean big
17:29baby
17:35i got the peanut butter cups
17:37what are you doing
17:38wait where is it where are the where are my cheese and crackers
17:42get the cheese and crackers well my peanut butter cup is jammed
17:46well now you've done
17:54me you're the one who cheated and pulled a knob at the same time you always gotta have things go your
17:59way don't you you twist everything around what happens when you want the way you want up a little
18:04too much
18:09if anyone has to have things their way it's you mr shows up a little late mr i forgot i have a cd
18:15player you've been doing it all night manipulating every little situation so you come out on top oh you
18:20want to talk manipulation the only reason you agreed to come to this thing tonight was because
18:24you thought you could manipulate me into changing the set design which is exactly what you wanted
18:29me to think when you invited me in the first place but i saw through your clever little skin
18:34i am the one person you can't manipulate and that drives you crazy because you always have to be in
18:40complete control i have to be in control oh man if that's not the bot calling the ghetto black oh now
18:46it's a black thing it is not a black thing it is a murphy brown thing because of you my car is ruined
18:59because of you my bank was ruined and because of you i never got my damn peanut butter car
19:04you can't stand out any by and let this happen with all the hate there is in the world
19:19all the discord and mistrust we gotta do everything we can to treat each other with love and respect
19:28i thought the two of you would know that better than anyone
19:30you have a forbidden love
19:47i do what i can
19:54you you are not easy you know that
19:58oh mike you're a walk in the park geez i've never met anyone so obsessed with being right
20:06with the exception of myself of course
20:09i know what you mean there was a moment back there when i looked at you and i thought to myself
20:14wow there i am if i've been born a loud blonde white woman
20:19so where do we go from here well it's pretty clear we're never going to be able to manipulate one
20:30another so i guess the only other choice is to be completely honest we don't trust each other
20:37we're both obsessive and we'll run down anyone who gets in our way friend friends
20:47see in my design i had podiums too
21:02look at the date exactly five years ago
21:11morning guys murphy how'd it go with Baldwin last night what did he say did he cave in do i get to sit
21:16take it easy at least let me get some coffee
21:22uh actually mitchell and i never got around to talking about the set last night
21:26oh why not will you relax everything is fine actually it's better than fine
21:33the reason i can say that is because last night something very special happened between mitchell and me
21:39oh my god Murphy you slept with him i hope you're all happy murphy gave herself to the bus just so jim can have a chair
21:55thank you soldier
21:58i didn't sleep with him i got to know him we stopped playing games and were completely honest with each other
22:05we developed uh closeness and dare i say it a friendship that i think we'll both treasure for
22:11years to come oh yeah she slept with him stop it all i'm saying is i don't think we have to worry
22:18about that new set anymore why you ask because one of the added bonuses of friendship is that it's a
22:24great way to manipulate someone good morning team
22:31come here murphy i brush a little something on my way upstairs
22:39she's a cracker
22:47richell listen since we're all here why don't we close up on this set break
22:53bottom line we hate it it makes us uncomfortable and that's not good for the show
22:58just being honest like we agreed well murphy i see your point
23:05okay your six days
23:09and i hope this proves once and for all that my personal agenda takes back seat to the good of the
23:15show now maybe we can all be a little less suspicious of each other and work to make the
23:19show that much better we can see the same idea five years ago what'd you say i couldn't quite hear you
23:28nothing just stuff you say in the group
23:31by the way we're gonna have to cut the budgets for your individual stories by 12 percent
23:42what are you talking about here i'm sorry it's belt tightening time
23:46oh you are good you are really good i never even saw it coming what are you talking about there never
23:55was any news said it was all just a cover to cushion the bigger blow of the budget cuts
23:59murphy please not go through all of that trouble just to give my way yes i know because it's exactly
24:05what i would have done i'm telling you i only got the word on the budget cuts this morning perfect
24:10is exactly what i would have said perfect that's what we really understand it's like the words are coming out of my mouth
24:16don't miss the next episode of hijinks featuring falling desserts and celebrity prankster richard kind
24:31tomorrow at 9 30 only on nick at night
24:46tomorrow at 9 30