Therapy Thursday: My Man Is Bad At Sex!
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00:00Which therapist do you need?
00:01Therapy Thursday.
00:02Now on Wild 94.1.
00:03I understand therapy.
00:05Hi, everybody.
00:06Therapy Thursday is where we talk it out and work it out.
00:09You call 888-429-0941 or you can text, you know,
00:13if you don't want anybody recognizing your voice because they do do that.
00:16Yes.
00:17And your business will be out there at the job.
00:19So you don't want that to happen, shoot us a text.
00:21Ask us any question.
00:22We pretty much can answer anything because if we don't know,
00:25we're going to fake it.
00:26There's no problem we can't fix.
00:27Yes.
00:28There's no, there ain't a problem that I can't fix.
00:30The Middle East.
00:31In the mix.
00:32You have answers for all this?
00:33The Ukraine.
00:34Yeah.
00:35If you put the in front of Ukraine,
00:37that means you don't need to be answering the question.
00:39Nobody ever asked.
00:41Because you started off with you got a question about the Ukraine.
00:45All right.
00:45Let's see here.
00:46What we got?
00:46Who got one?
00:47I got one about falling in love with your sneaky link.
00:50Oh, don't.
00:51Hold on.
00:51Next question, man.
00:52Next question.
00:53Don't you do that.
00:55Okay.
00:55This person writes, um, I've been dealing with this dude sexually for three years now,
01:00and we knew what the situation was when we established it, but now I want more.
01:04He said before that he likes me, but we don't have a relationship outside the bedroom.
01:09I don't want to say how I feel and lose my sneaky link, but I feel three years is too long and I'm ready to start dating.
01:16If you're together for three years, you're not a sneaky link.
01:20You're a relationship.
01:21You're just a relationship that's based on one thing.
01:23Well, it sounds like he probably has somebody else in the mix.
01:27Right.
01:27Hence the sneaky part.
01:29Yeah.
01:30Yeah.
01:30So I think...
01:32Can a sneaky link expire?
01:34Yeah.
01:35Oh, absolutely.
01:35Three years.
01:36They definitely have a shelf life.
01:37Yeah.
01:37And, um, I think that if he wanted to be with you, he, he would have, he probably would have gotten out of whatever situationship he's in and he would have chosen you.
01:47And he would have brought whatever you guys have and whatever you are out of the shadows into the light because he's the one or you're the one that he chose.
01:56He hasn't chosen you.
01:58Yeah.
01:58You are...
01:59You didn't get chose.
01:59Maybe he didn't, he doesn't know.
02:01Nah, he knows.
02:02Okay.
02:03He knows every time he leaves to go back to his real life, he knows.
02:06Yeah.
02:06He doesn't want more.
02:07He's comfortable in the spot that he is.
02:10He probably doesn't want to lose the physical aspect of it, but has no intention of...
02:15Can the sneaky link take that top spot ever?
02:18It usually doesn't happen that way.
02:20It can.
02:21It totally can.
02:21But it has to be totally honest from the guy's point.
02:25And if that's over, he can transition over.
02:28But usually after a guy leaves that, he doesn't need a sneaky link.
02:31So he's going to go out there and now test the waters with a bunch of different options if he gets rid of the wife.
02:35Here's what you need to do.
02:36Look at your pros and your cons.
02:38Probably one of the days that he leaves you to go back to his girl, that's when you're really going to be wrought with emotion.
02:45But you're also going to think about the good parts too.
02:49Yeah.
02:49So you're going to be like, oh, I want him so much and blah, blah, blah.
02:51That's when you sit down, write down the pros and cons of having him.
02:54Like, do I want this?
02:56I like the sex.
02:57And then you'll probably realize that you enjoy the sneaky link part as well.
03:01You'll see it a little bit more clearer.
03:02So I would say do that.
03:04But don't try and wife somebody who's cheating on somebody to be with you because they're going to do it to you too.
03:10Yeah.
03:10That's the best advice I can give.
03:12We have a text that came in.
03:13It says, my boyfriend just lost his driver's license.
03:17I don't want to say why, but he won't be having his license back for a while.
03:20However, it has not stopped him from driving.
03:23He is a grown man and isn't going to listen to me if I tell him not to.
03:27But he's my son's ride from practice three times a week.
03:31Hell no.
03:32It would be a huge inconvenience to have someone else get him.
03:35I don't have anyone else.
03:36But I feel like I'm exposing my little boy and putting him in harm's way.
03:40Well, yeah.
03:41He could potentially be arrested in front of the kid.
03:44It's not harm's way.
03:44It's not like he can't drive.
03:46He just is driving illegally.
03:49He has the likelihood of getting pulled over, and there's everything that comes with that.
03:53I'm assuming it's a DUI, but it doesn't matter.
03:56You are potentially putting your child in harm's way.
03:59You're breaking the law.
04:00That's bad.
04:01But it's not like you can't drive.
04:02It's not like your kid's not safe.
04:04If you trust this person with your kid, then in essence, and it's your only option, I would say let him drive.
04:10It's a risk either way.
04:12But when the po-po pull up, just make sure your child know how to call you to come pick him up from the jail.
04:17That's all you got to do.
04:18If that's your only option, you got to do it.
04:21All right.
04:21Keep it going.
04:22Yeah.
04:22Let's see.
04:24It says, any of the doctors, I'm in the process of getting a divorce.
04:28It was needed, but I am having second thoughts.
04:31There has been no change in our relationship, but we sleep on opposite sides of the house still.
04:38So why am I thinking about staying?
04:41I hate this feeling.
04:42You miss the comfort and the comfortability of being in that said relationship that you've been in for a long time.
04:48There's a reason why you guys filed divorce.
04:50You know, you're now you're it's lingering all the good times.
04:53You got to focus on all the crap you guys dealt with.
04:55You got to remember that there was a reason you got to this point and moving forward.
04:59You will be happier in the future.
05:02You have to remember that.
05:03It's change.
05:03People don't like change.
05:04Most life changing decisions come with a lot of mental back and forth.
05:09But I think once you have your mind made up and you put it out there to your husband or wife that, yo, we're we're going through with this.
05:17You can't keep flip flopping and going back in your mind.
05:21Sure.
05:21It's going to be tough.
05:22But like once you put your foot in the ground, you have to stand on that.
05:26On top of that, just speaking from experience, you feel like a failure.
05:29Yeah.
05:30And you start thinking, man, maybe if I save this, this won't.
05:35No, don't lie to yourself.
05:37Because basically you went and got a whole lawyer.
05:39They went and got a whole lawyer and there's paperwork and attitudes and rolling of eyes and all that stuff.
05:45That's real.
05:46You can't discredit that just because you're afraid to be by yourself.
05:49Don't be afraid to change.
05:50If it's necessary, it's necessary.
05:53Go ahead and push on.
05:54Because honestly, we got a sneaky link who about to be available so you can mess around and make that whole thing happen.
06:00Come all together.
06:01All right.
06:02We got your calls.
06:03888-429-0941 at the Sweetie.
06:06Hold on.
06:06Freak Show.
06:07Wild 94.
06:07One Bay's Party Station.
06:09Therapy Thursday.
06:10We giving you the brilliance and some stupidity.
06:12Because somebody you just said is mad at us because we told them to go ahead and divorce.
06:18Oh, yeah.
06:18Damn.
06:19Why can't she push to stay in and keep it together?
06:21Y'all are pushing for divorce.
06:23I'm pushing for you to live your truth.
06:25Ain't that the thing in 2022?
06:27Yes.
06:27Live your truth.
06:28My truth is I don't like you.
06:30I live on this side of the house.
06:31You live on that side of the house.
06:32We don't speak.
06:34If I had to tase, I'd tase you.
06:35Yeah.
06:36What?
06:36I think the courts need to get us away from each other for one of us to do something to each other.
06:40Like, there's people out there who have hurt each other because they've been around each other too much.
06:43Too long.
06:44Yeah.
06:44Like, you got to listen to your heart.
06:46Yeah.
06:46We're just saying to move forward if that's what you already decided.
06:48You're telling my heart when I'm with you.
06:50I mean, I love that song.
06:53All right.
06:55What we got?
06:56Out to 813.
06:57Hey, so my boyfriend started drinking when we got pregnant with our son.
07:00It's never been a problem until it started hurting us financially.
07:04Now it is a problem.
07:05He has never cheated or hurt me.
07:07I love him with all my heart, but I do not know what to do anymore.
07:11I feel stuck.
07:11We've been together for six years on Monday and have two children.
07:16Any advice?
07:17Started drinking and it's hurting him financially?
07:19Yeah.
07:20Like, so he's drinking expensive?
07:23Or maybe it's causing him to call out of work or not be as motivated.
07:28You can spend a lot of money on alcohol for sure.
07:31Yeah.
07:31I mean, if you don't have it, that's the conversation.
07:34That's like, yo, man, like we don't have it.
07:36Look at the budget.
07:37Just sit down and put down the numbers.
07:38If you are together and y'all got kids and responsibilities and you know what goes with
07:42that, sit down and map everything out and just be like, yo, here's your liquor bill
07:46and here's the bill for everything else.
07:50Is it more important than milk?
07:52Do we need electricity?
07:53Like, you know, and then just do the thing and lay down and make out a budget like real
07:57people do.
07:58I think that would help.
07:59And also talk to somebody because if that Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous or the thing
08:04that Al-Anon, I think, handles families of people who are addicted.
08:07So, I mean, you know, there are ways out there you can handle that too.
08:10Like maybe with the crisis hotline or something like that and get some real advice from folks
08:13that ain't DJing over Kodak Black Records.
08:16Right.
08:17There's also something you probably get to the bottom of because if he never had those
08:20issues and then all of a sudden they came about when you got pregnant, there was probably
08:25some stressors or something that could be specifically addressed.
08:29Yeah.
08:29There's a specific stressor called pregnant.
08:31Yeah.
08:31Pregnant and children will definitely make you stressed for sure.
08:34Out of the 863, my husband is bad at sex.
08:38I've been with my husband for 12 years and we both are 30.
08:42I'm not sure what happened, but my husband now seems lost in the bedroom.
08:46What should I do?
08:48Throw that thing on him.
08:51Throw that thing.
08:53No, guidance.
08:54Absolutely.
08:54Show him a few things in the bedroom.
08:56Tell him exactly what you want.
08:58But don't you think they're past that point if they've been together so long?
09:01Yeah.
09:01No.
09:02They're past that point.
09:02People change and people like to try new stuff just because you've been with the same
09:05person doesn't mean you don't want to try new things or somebody.
09:08Sometimes y'all forget that we like to do something.
09:10No, you know what it is, though?
09:12You just said it best, though.
09:13So, you know, sometimes things change and you've got to communicate that change.
09:18Because if you've been together a long time, I know you like this, you like to be able
09:22to turn my hip this way, that's the way it's always been, but your taste may have changed.
09:26So now if your taste changed and you didn't tell him, he's still thinking he's mowing the
09:31same lawn.
09:32Yeah.
09:32Because he's been here forever.
09:33So now you've got to tell him, hey, now, by the way, I've been reading Cosmo and I like
09:38it when you do this.
09:39I like it when you twist this and blah, blah, blah.
09:41Let him know that you're the 2.0.
09:43And why is it just my husband's bad in the bedroom?
09:46Aren't you there, too?
09:47Like, aren't you two bad together?
09:50Like, isn't it a team sport, right?
09:52She's not getting satisfied.
09:53That's why.
09:54But I wonder how he feels about it.
09:56You seem tight about this right now.
09:58No, I'm just saying, what is she doing?
09:59What is she doing?
10:02Maybe if you talk to him, he'd be like, yo, my wife is bad in the bedroom.
10:07Oh, damn.
10:08I'm just saying.
10:08Dobby.
10:09There's two sides to every story.
10:11Maybe that blame game is the reason that you guys aren't vibing in the bedroom.
10:15How about build up his confidence?
10:17Tell him.
10:18Oh!
10:20That's brilliant.
10:21My God.
10:22I mean, think about it.
10:23Like, when you tell a little.
10:24Every time we have somebody write us and say, oh, well, my wife doesn't cook.
10:29What do they say?
10:30Well, why don't you cook?
10:31Yeah, why don't you step up to the plate?
10:31It's always the flip the script.
10:33What you just did.
10:34Like, she's saying that he's bad at bed.
10:36You can't play tennis bad by yourself.
10:38Right.
10:39You're being praised, by the way, in the text.
10:41Oh, yeah.
10:42Dobby for president.
10:43You just became their leader.
10:46For sex?
10:46All of the men, so, like, let Dobby speak.
10:50Yes.
10:50There you go.
10:51That's brilliant.
10:52All right, let's see.
10:53We'll grab one more before we wrap.
10:54Okay, this says, I dated a guy for two and a half years.
10:57We broke up, but still hanging out and do couples things.
11:00He recently told me he met someone and wants to see where it goes, but says he still wants
11:05me in his life.
11:06When he's drunk, I'm the first one he contacts.
11:08What should I do, or should I let it go?
11:13Are we in a lovey-dovey mood, guys, or are we ready to break some?
11:16I mean, if you're not together anymore and y'all are still committed to each other like
11:22that, y'all are friends.
11:23Yeah.
11:23Friends even maybe with benefits or whatever.
11:26But if he wants to holler at somebody, he's saying, I want to trade that position, and
11:31I don't want you to be upset, but I'm going after this.
11:33So don't be available for that.
11:36Be like, yo, we're dope.
11:37Let's stay that way so we don't make anything confused because we're here because we like
11:42each other.
11:42Yeah.
11:42Right?
11:43And I think, I mean, salute to him for being honest and open about it.
11:48It would have been kind of easy to, you know, be on the low about the new one.
11:53Double-dib.
11:54I mean, I said no guy ever.
11:56Right.
11:56You know, like, I don't want to.
11:58I think you gave great advice.
11:59Don't make yourself available for that.
12:01Be there for him.
12:02If you genuinely like him as a person without the physical contact, I'm sure there'll be
12:07some conversations about the new one and things that you can help.
12:10That conversation is key, too, because you know what?
12:13I've had a couple relationships that were really, really dope and that ended.
12:17And when it was time to try somebody else, the girl actually helped me.
12:22Like, hey, well, tell me, here's what you need to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, and became
12:26a friend.
12:26Like, you know what I'm saying?
12:27They were already a friend, but became a more solid friend and was able to help me transition.
12:32So I think that's dope.
12:35If you want to keep him as a friend, you know, if you want to keep him as a friend.
12:38I got a hot one that just came in.
12:39Oh, okay.
12:40Okay.
12:40I know.
12:40Squeeze it in.
12:41Okay.
12:41Married over 20 plus years.
12:43He cheated on me over eight years ago, and I stayed with him because of the kids.
12:47But however, I never forgave him.
12:49Now I have the opportunity to step out, and I feel this is my way of getting back.
12:53Am I wrong?
12:55Am I wrong?
12:58Yes.
12:58Yes.
12:59You are.
12:59He was wrong, too, but you're wrong.
13:01Two wrongs don't make a right, gentlemen.
13:02But three rights make a left.
13:04But she wants to go have her fun, too.
13:06He did it.
13:07And he had fun.
13:08I mean, if she's 20 years ago, though.
13:10No, wait.
13:11They've been married 20 years.
13:12If she's looking for us to justify it, I don't think we're going to justify, like, yes.
13:17Why?
13:18You know what show this is?
13:19I mean, we justify a lot of blankery in here.
13:22I'm just saying.
13:23We can.
13:23We talk about it.
13:25We accept it as it comes.
13:27But, I mean, we rarely say, yeah, go throw it back on the pool boy or anything like that.
13:32That's true.
13:33We're not supposed to do that.
13:34We try to be moral.
13:35But she could have some fun.
13:36She could.
13:37Yeah, but, I mean, okay.
13:39Because the person who wrote us mad that we pushed divorce is going to definitely write
13:42back if we say, hey, go out there and clap them cheeks.
13:45Like, so.
13:47You're going to regret it.
13:48You're going to regret it.
13:48Okay.
13:49Let's give them some real advice.
13:51Yes.
13:51Let's not be funny.
13:52Just because somebody did something wrong and you feel attacked and you've never forgiven
13:57him.
13:57I mean, when are you going to forgive him?
13:58Why are you in a relationship where you're holding this?
14:00Never.
14:01Holding this against him.
14:01She chose to stay.
14:02Right.
14:03That was the decision that you made.
14:05Either be with him or don't.
14:06The letters on the bracelet say WWJD.
14:09Uh-oh.
14:10Well, what would Jezebel do?
14:12A Jezebel would go out there and clap them cheeks.
14:15Are you a Jezebel?
14:17Okay.
14:17Think about how you felt when he stepped out on you.
14:20Would you want to do that to your relationship now?
14:22You have not forgotten and you didn't forgive.
14:26And forgiving is supposed to be like the best thing ever.
14:29Big grudge.
14:29So you missed out on that.
14:31Yes.
14:31You've been carrying this whole weight on you and now you mess around and dip out, you're
14:35going to have even more weight on you and you're going to be miserable.
14:38Be the better person.
14:38And if you get caught, think about what it could do for your now grown children, your
14:44husband.
14:45You'll mess everything up.
14:46Everything.
14:47Everything.
14:47And on top of that, you might end up solo.
14:52Yeah.
14:52Now, if you don't want to be in this relationship anymore and you have now decided everybody's
14:56an adult and you want to dip, then go ahead and clap them cheeks because you can make
15:00that happen even faster if you want to leave.
15:02But if you want to stay together, you're going to have to forgive him.
15:06Let him know I got an option to go out here and get back.
15:10Let him know.
15:11Oh, I don't like that advice.
15:12But I'm skipping it because I'm choosing us.
15:15I'm doing what you should have did.
15:17Now you got somebody checking the phone and all that stuff.
15:19Whatever.
15:19She ain't got nothing to hide.
15:21But I'm just saying, like, if you're not going to do it, let him know.
15:24Say, hey, you're close to losing me.
15:26So we need to get past this.
15:28I need to forgive you.
15:29And I'm not going to do this.
15:31And you shouldn't do it anymore either.
15:33Boom.
15:33I say fantasize about it.
15:34Don't do it.
15:35She had that grudge for 12 years.
15:3712 years.
15:37Yeah.
15:38Yeah, that grudge is deep.
15:39Yeah, it is.
15:40That hurt.
15:40Yeah, it's deep.
15:41All right.
15:41That is a wrap.
15:44Theraparizing the whole day.
15:45That ain't even a word.
15:46But we're using it today.
15:47Okay.