Therapy Thursday: My Man Wants To Have Sex Every Day!
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00:00All right, Therapy Thursday helps you talk it out, work it out.
00:03If you got something, some sort of issue, you know, Meredith MD is here to help.
00:08If you got some sort of strife in your life, Orlando BGYN might be able to help you out.
00:14You know, so we have the doors open.
00:17Yes.
00:17Feel free to come on in, 888-429-0941 if you got a question or query.
00:23We got it for you.
00:24I got one for you.
00:25What you got?
00:25This says, so I gave a young, struggling couple that I'm close to almost $500 worth of baby furniture,
00:32and I recently seen her selling the items on Facebook Marketplace and local yard sales.
00:39I didn't say anything, but I feel like if she didn't want them, she could have said no thank you or given them back,
00:45and I would have given them to somebody who really needed them.
00:48Am I wrong for being angry at this?
00:50Yes, you're absolutely wrong.
00:52Not wrong, it's understandable, but it's a little selfish because you give somebody something out of your own heart.
01:00Like, if you want to share it, you give it to them.
01:03You followed that, and you did that right.
01:06What they do with it is their business.
01:09Like, you gave them something, and they were like, let me incorporate this into it.
01:13I've seen it.
01:14I don't like the way it looks now, or maybe it doesn't fit what I've now decided I want to change the palette of the room.
01:20Now, I think I just need to paint the room instead because I don't like the way it looks.
01:24So I'm not going to use it anymore.
01:25So now am I going to give it back to you and have you move it back?
01:28No.
01:29I'm going to now get rid of it.
01:30Somebody suggests I sell it.
01:32Whatever it is, it's mine now.
01:33Yeah.
01:33You gave it to me.
01:34Now, if you told me, hey, if you don't want this, I'll give it to somebody else,
01:39and you had all these different things going on, we didn't have that conversation.
01:42So realistically, once you give somebody something, it's kind of gone.
01:46It belonged to the store.
01:47You're right, for sure, but I can see why she feels.
01:49And why worry about that kind of stuff?
01:50Because she could have sold it.
01:52She probably could have used the money, but she was donating it to them out of the goodness of her heart.
01:57You gave it to me.
01:58And they got rid of it.
01:59You didn't say donate it.
02:00I gave you something, and you're going to sell it?
02:03Well, it's mine now.
02:05So don't really stress about that.
02:08That's water under the bridge.
02:09Leave that alone.
02:10Let's see here.
02:11This says, no specific doc, I have a question.
02:14My boyfriend and my post-activity time is always interrupted by video games.
02:25After we do our business, he jumps up and goes to play his PS5, and it makes me feel cheap, and it makes me feel unloved.
02:34He doesn't agree, so it doesn't stop.
02:37It happens every time I go to bed, he goes to play video games.
02:41How can you make a man slow down and enjoy the moment?
02:44I need advice.
02:46I mean, it's not cool that somebody just jumps up and runs away from you every single time, and then it's a video game.
02:52Like, he's choosing a video game over you and your body and your feelings.
02:55There's a lot of people out there that deal with video games in the middle of the night.
02:58Yeah, I know that.
02:59You can be—I like video games, too.
03:00I'm definitely not going to jump up to go do it like I'm 13 or 14 years old right afterwards.
03:06I always want to make sure that that person is okay, and sometimes you do feel like cuddling afterwards.
03:10You got to tell them.
03:11Like, hey, can you not do this every single time because this is probably nothing to you, but it kind of hurts my feelings.
03:17I think she said she told him, and he said he doesn't agree, so it doesn't stop.
03:21Right.
03:21Well, you have to bring it up then.
03:22Okay.
03:23Again.
03:23But here's what you do.
03:25You teach him how it hurts on the other side.
03:29Mm-hmm.
03:30Instead of you—okay, ego to a man is a teacher.
03:34I'm just going to keep it 100.
03:35You mess with a man's ego, he will then pay attention.
03:39If you go to bed and you want him to stay in bed, he's thinking, I killed it.
03:44Like, you're going to sleep.
03:45He's like, I knocked it out.
03:46Now I'm going to go reward myself with some video games because I did my job.
03:49Mm-hmm.
03:50Now, if you flip the script after your post-coito activity and you get up, get dressed, and go out.
03:57Go out?
03:58Leave the house.
03:59Yeah.
03:59You ain't even got to go nowhere.
04:01You're telling her to get back at him?
04:02I'm telling you to—
04:04She asked how to fix it.
04:05Make it even?
04:06Make it even?
04:07Can I—did I tear down your face?
04:09Yes.
04:10I did not.
04:10Yes, you did.
04:11I did not.
04:11You said I was wrong.
04:12I did not.
04:13I'm just making sure that what you're saying is to get even with him.
04:16I'm saying teach the man you can train this puppy with a little bit more ego.
04:21Okay.
04:21He's getting—if he sees you lay down, our ego is saying we succeeded.
04:25Mm-hmm.
04:26He's getting up.
04:28It's playing with yours, and he doesn't care.
04:29So here's what you do.
04:31Afterwards, when he goes to play video games, you get up and put something nice on.
04:35Not nothing crazy, but put—dress up like you're going somewhere.
04:39Leave the house.
04:39You can go to the Starbucks.
04:41You can go to the mall and walk around.
04:43Go to the Walmart, 24-hour Walmart, and walk around.
04:46I don't care where you go, but just leave the house.
04:48Because now he's going to see, oh, my God, she just jumped up right after.
04:53Now he ain't killing it.
04:54He's going to have to put in more time.
04:56Okay.
04:56If you afterwards want to go to sleep, he feels successful.
05:00If not, if you get up, that's going to teach you.
05:02And it's going to make him feel the same way without the words because he's ignoring the words.
05:07But that ego shot—
05:08I get it.
05:08Now he ain't going to be so quick to jump up.
05:10He'll relate to what you're saying more.
05:11He'll relate to what you're saying.
05:12Right.
05:12You've got to walk him through it sometimes.
05:14And I'm telling you, ego shots are the best way to teach a man.
05:17Okay.
05:18Yes.
05:18All right.
05:19We just got this one in.
05:21Hey, Freak Show.
05:22I just met a girl who's four months pregnant and single.
05:25I really like her.
05:26Her baby's father isn't around.
05:29I'm thinking about pursuing.
05:31What do you think?
05:35Go ahead.
05:36Go ahead.
05:37He likes her.
05:38I fell for a pregnant person in school.
05:41You did?
05:42Stop it.
05:43I did.
05:44I did.
05:44And she was single.
05:46And I will tell you that I—everybody was against me hollering because—but they weren't in the relationship.
05:55But the euphoric part of it was that, you know, I kind of started to feel like it was—it almost felt like it was my kid.
06:02I didn't have a kid.
06:03I wasn't even in the room of trying to have one or whatever.
06:07But because I had this person who needed help, it felt like it was mine.
06:13You're going to be the savior.
06:14So I started getting that hero complex and stuff.
06:18And it built up bigger than the relationship did.
06:20So I'm going to say that that feeling that you have might be real, but also there's some—there's some parts of you that you feel like, you know, hey, I'm kind of coming in to save this whole thing.
06:33And that builds it up bigger than what it is.
06:34You never know.
06:35It's almost like snow globing like we were talking about.
06:37Yeah.
06:37The feeling of it makes it bigger than what it was.
06:39You never know if baby daddy is going to be back, though, or how that relationship is going to be, or if he really even knows, or maybe he does know.
06:46But, I mean, there's going to be a lot of legal stuff that's going to happen.
06:49Baby daddy came back.
06:50Yeah.
06:51In your situation?
06:52Baby daddy came back.
06:53Yeah.
06:53So just be prepared because that is his kid and it's not your kid.
06:56And you may be really attached really fast, and then all of a sudden the baby—she may end up leaving you to try again with him.
07:02So you just need to make sure.
07:04Which you can't—and that's the thing.
07:05I was fighting against that.
07:06Like, how are you going to leave me when I've been here?
07:08But I'm like, how are you going to argue that she's getting back with her baby daddy?
07:12Yeah.
07:12Like, that made me look kind of jerkish.
07:15Yes.
07:15So that's why I'm saying, like, just play it close, but don't get so all in that it's going to make you do stupid stuff.
07:22Slowly.
07:22Welcome to Therapy Thursday.
07:24888-429-0941.
07:26Dr. Davi is out today.
07:29Meredith M.D. is here.
07:31That's what I'm here for.
07:32Orlando B. GYN is in the office.
07:34You're welcome.
07:34So we got our clipboards and our white lab coats.
07:37So what we got?
07:38Okay.
07:39So we got a text in.
07:41I have been dating a married man for 15 years.
07:45Okay.
07:46And he's always said, we will get married one day.
07:48But now he is saying he won't get a divorce.
07:51He is not getting married again.
07:54This is—he's putting his foot down.
07:56What should I do?
07:57I know what you should do.
07:58Oh, go ahead.
07:59I know what you should do.
08:00You—well, you intentionally put yourself in this situation.
08:04You got to own up to it.
08:06Was he really ever going to leave his wife?
08:08Men always say that they will.
08:10And it's rare that they actually do.
08:12So you have to own up to the fact that you made a mistake and go find somebody else that's
08:17actually going to love and appreciate you that isn't sharing themselves with somebody else.
08:20There are plenty of single people out there, whether they're here in the state of Florida
08:24or you can find them online dating apps.
08:26You should definitely—you deserve better.
08:28And you should go find somebody else that will give you everything that you want.
08:31It's hard to be—you were never in a full relationship with him to begin with.
08:35He was always being shared with somebody else.
08:38He just was.
08:38I agree with you.
08:40I agree with you.
08:42I'm an analogy person.
08:43I will say—and I know some people are going to be mad at this—you are telling a fat person
08:47that they need to eat more vegetables.
08:49That's what you're doing.
08:50Because you did it to yourself.
08:52Okay.
08:52You know, I mean, and again, it's hard to tell somebody who has lived a life of making bad decisions
08:59to just—you need to do better.
09:01So you can't just tell them that.
09:03Think about it this way.
09:04You've been with the man for 15 years.
09:06You've been eating carbs, eating heavy, going to bed on a full stomach for 15 years.
09:11Yeah.
09:11Can't just say eat vegetables.
09:13You got to break the bone.
09:14And honestly, you're probably not going to even do it.
09:16So asking us is not really—
09:18You don't think she's going to leave.
09:19You're not going to leave.
09:20You're in a relationship.
09:22It's just not the relationship that you wanted.
09:24But it's the relationship you put up with for 15 years.
09:27You got to keep it 100.
09:29You set the tone.
09:30You trained him on what you will accept.
09:32A lot of people out there who've been through real therapists with real co-pays and stuff like that
09:36have been taught that the way you treat yourself is the way people see how they should treat you.
09:42100%.
09:42And you've allowed this man to give you half of his business,
09:45or maybe even a third of his life, for 15 years.
09:49And you're wasting your best years.
09:50But no, no, no.
09:51That's somebody that's not worthy.
09:52You're not wasting.
09:53You've wasted.
09:54Yeah.
09:55You've wasted 15 years with this dude.
09:57He's not going to change.
09:58You've taught this puppy he could pee in the living room.
10:00So why do you get mad when he pees in the living room?
10:02You've given him the right to do so.
10:03Right.
10:04So realistically, you just have to make a decision.
10:07You can't change him.
10:08He's out of the picture.
10:09He's done.
10:10Not really, but I'm saying his vote on being in a relationship with you and getting married,
10:16that's out of the picture.
10:16Right.
10:17That ain't going to happen.
10:17So now you just have to make a decision is a third or a half of a man, enough for you
10:22because he's not going to change.
10:24Right.
10:24And you've given him a 15-year head start.
10:27And go find somebody better.
10:28You can do it.
10:29It'll take a while, but finally do it.
10:31You totally can.
10:32But you won't.
10:33Okay.
10:33You won't.
10:34Um, I have another one.
10:36This just came in.
10:37Oh, my man wants to have sex every day.
10:39And I tried to have many responsibilities.
10:42I do every single day cleaning and all this stuff.
10:44And I don't want to have sex every single day.
10:46My question is how many times a week is appropriate to have sex?
10:53That's different for everybody.
10:54So keep that in mind.
10:55Did she say a man?
10:56My man wants to have sex every day.
10:59And she's so tired because she has so many responsibilities.
11:03If y'all, if y'all are like, I don't know if, because you didn't say husband and wife.
11:06So my man, I don't know if y'all live together or whatever.
11:08If y'all live together, sex every day shouldn't be hard.
11:11And it doesn't always have to be a full court basketball game.
11:14Sometimes you can play half court.
11:16Sometimes you can play, you know, a little handball.
11:19You know what I mean?
11:20Like, you can do things to get that way.
11:22And maybe set the big fireworks for, like, you know, special night on the weekend or something.
11:28But just satisfy your man in different ways.
11:31Sometimes you don't need a full four-course meal.
11:33Sometimes you just want a snack.
11:35So vary it up.
11:37Change your menu up.
11:38Be like, hey, you want a little something?
11:41Well, okay, well, let me hook you up with this.
11:42Like, change the menu and not make it a big explosive thing all the time.
11:46I'm going to say, no, you don't have to have sex every single day.
11:50You don't have to, but you don't have to satisfy me.
11:50Especially in a committed relationship.
11:52I got stuff to do.
11:53You got stuff to do.
11:54And, by the way, you can go enjoy yourself by yourself if you need to go do that.
11:58But I would say if we come to a happy medium here, it would be maybe three times a week.
12:02I'd like to come to a happy medium right here.
12:04And I want to come to a happy medium every day.
12:06Don't you think that that's kind of crazy?
12:08No.
12:08When you've been in a long-term relationship, and he's like, I need sex every single day.
12:13Right.
12:14What?
12:15You need that?
12:15Okay, so somebody you love is telling you that they need something.
12:19Let's take sex out of it.
12:20I need X, Y, and Z.
12:22Right.
12:22You love them, so you're going to try and accomplish X, Y, and Z for them.
12:26Because they're telling you a need.
12:27You tell them a need.
12:28So, yes.
12:28If that is a need, then look at different options like I was saying.
12:31Yeah, I mean, it's not a concubine type thing.
12:34It's like, yo, I need some loving.
12:37And I want it every day.
12:39I'm going to start saying the word need more around here.
12:40You're going to send me out in these streets hungry.
12:44You want to send your man out in these streets with nothing.
12:46Yeah.
12:47You know these ladies, these wayward ladies at his office.
12:49Wait, so now if I don't have sex with him every day, he's going to cheat on me?
12:51Absolutely.
12:52Oh, my God.
12:53Stop it.
12:54Oh, no.
12:54If you are a loving, committed relationship, that's not going to happen.
12:59If you send a hungry man out there, what happens?
13:01Fuck.
13:02What happens?
13:02Fuck.
13:02He got to eat.
13:03He got to eat.
13:04He got to eat.
13:06He got to eat.
13:07You don't need to stop.
13:08You send a hungry man out in them streets.
13:10You can't be responsible for him to come home with some crumbs on him.
13:13Okay.
13:14Tease him a little bit.
13:15Come home with a little sauce on his lip.
13:16Tickle is a little bit.
13:17Listen.
13:19Just let you know.
13:20I do have one more text that just came in.
13:22Okay.
13:22Morning, freaks.
13:23I just left my husband a week ago, and it was definitely for the best.
13:26Now I'm healing from years of emotional abuse, infidelity, and et cetera.
13:31My mental health is off because of this, but I'm going strong every single day.
13:35I don't really have or need any advice right now.
13:38I just need to know that things are going to be okay, because I did walk away after many
13:41years of disrespect.
13:43Do we have children?
13:44Yes, we do.
13:45And I hope it gets better for myself over time.
13:47Thank you, freaks, and I love you so much.
13:51I'm going to stand up and clap.
13:53I'm going to stand up and clap for you.
13:55You chose yourself.
13:56You chose yourself.
13:57You chose to get the hell out because you were getting abused and treated wrong, and
14:03you know what?
14:04I get it.
14:05People stick around for the wrong reasons, but making that choice is the best decision
14:10if you have been treated.
14:11Nobody should be treated badly.
14:14Nobody should be treated like they're not worth something.
14:18And you tried to wait it out, and it didn't work.
14:23I think you always believe who people say they are with their actions, and you get out
14:29of there and rebuild.
14:31You can build yourself up.
14:32Don't rush into anything.
14:34Same way you made sure this was the right move for you is the same way you take this next
14:38challenge with your kids and how to get structure and whatever.
14:42But don't...
14:43Don't...
14:44People get better, but honestly, the decision you made had to be something that you had
14:48to decide for your well-being, and I applaud it.
14:51Congratulations.
14:52That's the hardest decision I'll ever make.
14:54Yeah.
14:54We will salute you all day if you are choosing health, because nobody should put their hands
15:00on you, because putting hands on you or putting emotional weight on you always ends badly with
15:06somebody breaking, and you don't want it to be you.
15:09Protecting your children.
15:10And protecting your children.
15:11They don't need to see that.
15:12And also teaching them that it's not able to...
15:15It's not something that they're able to sustain.
15:18Yeah.
15:18Like, you know, enough is enough, because your kid, trust me, when you say it's enough,
15:22your kids knew well before you decided to leave.
15:25Mm-hmm.
15:25So now you have to make sure you convey that message to them and say, hey, listen, your daddy
15:29is always going to be your daddy, but he and I couldn't agree, and we had to move forward
15:35for the health of the family.
15:36Yeah.
15:36I don't want to hate him.
15:38I don't want him to hate me.
15:39And he's always yours.
15:41Your relationship is yours with him, but ours couldn't continue.
15:45Hopefully, you understand.
15:45And your kid probably going to look at you and be like, I...
15:47We knew.
15:48We know.
15:49I mean, I remember my daughter told me, I said, hey, I got a place, because I'm...
15:51You know, we've been...
15:52They're like, Daddy, we was wondering.
15:54We were wondering when you were going to say it.
15:55We were wondering when you was going to...
15:56Yeah.
15:56Yeah.
15:57You know, so I'm saying, we wear kid gloves all the time, so applaud you.
16:01Congratulations.
16:02Yes, yes, yes, yes.
16:03Bravo.
16:04All right.
16:04That's Therapy Thursday.
16:05That's a wrap right now.
16:08I'm taking off this lab coat, and I'm about to put on the thong, Mary.
16:11No, please.
16:12Yes, yes.
16:12We got a wedding we got to talk about with a thong, which was the headline.
16:15Hold on.
16:16Hold on.
16:16Hold on.
16:17Hold on.
16:17Hold on.
16:18Hold on.
16:19Hold on.
16:20Hold on.
16:21Hold on.
16:22Hold on.
16:23Hold on.
16:24Hold on.
16:25Hold on.
16:26Hold on.