Therapy Thursday February 16th, 2023
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00Dr. Davi, are you present?
00:01I am ready, prepared.
00:03Meredith M.D., are you in the house?
00:06Always, always on time.
00:08Orlando BGYN is here, lab coats on, clipboards in hand, and we're here to help you out.
00:16If you got a question on any crazy topic, we got some sort of answer for you.
00:21It might not be brilliant, but it'll be close.
00:24We're trying.
00:24It'll be really, really close.
00:26All right, let's see.
00:27I have one here.
00:28If you got one, whatever.
00:30Yeah, I have a crazy one that came in.
00:31Go ahead for it.
00:32Go for that.
00:32This one came in when we were talking about the karate lady.
00:35Karate.
00:36We are now calling her the karate lady.
00:40Bodybuilder.
00:41She's a bodybuilder.
00:42She's a champion.
00:44She's 1 and 0.
00:45She's a lot of things.
00:45We call her the karate lady.
00:46She's a lot of things, for sure.
00:49I'm glad you guys think you're prepared.
00:51Here we go.
00:51It says, my 13-year-old son got caught having naked pictures of men saved on his phone.
00:57I'm at a total loss.
00:59We already tried to limit what he could see on the internet, but somehow these photos and videos made it to his phone.
01:05It's a lot of stuff.
01:06I did not know he was attracted to men, and I'm okay with that, I guess.
01:10But this is too much too soon.
01:12What can I do?
01:13Is this normal for 13?
01:15Oh, porn at 13?
01:17I mean, okay, it's sensitive because it's a 13-year-old kid, and we always have to make sure that we monitor our kids, like whether it's share programs or stuff like that, like what your kid sees, you see.
01:30I know some parents, and some people think they're overzealous, like they think they're going too far.
01:35But this is a perfect example on why it's not too far because you wouldn't be surprised by what you saw because you would be always up on what they're looking at.
01:45So I would think that's the move to do, like talk to them about, hey, you're not old enough to be in possession of stuff like this.
01:53I'm going to put a program on your phone so we can make sure that you stay in line with what you need to be doing as a 13-year-old kid and then kind of move that way.
02:03The sexuality part of it, they're going to find their way into their own zone, but I think that just keeping them in the 13-year-old space probably should be the focus.
02:11More phone monitoring.
02:13I would think so.
02:14I would talk to them about what's going on with them as well.
02:17Is taking the phone altogether an option?
02:20Maybe, yeah, because, I mean, there's porn on there.
02:23You violated it, basically.
02:24I'm sure at some point they were like, hey, no porn.
02:29Is that something you discussed?
02:30I mean, I think those are ground rules.
02:31I don't think when they hand you the phone, they say, hey, you know what this is.
02:38This access to porn.
02:39I don't think that comes with the phone box.
02:41Well, maybe it should.
02:43With the pep talk.
02:44You know better.
02:45I doubt the 13-year-old bought it himself.
02:46To download it, though?
02:48You're not even like just watching it?
02:49Yeah, like you're just archiving it in your phone.
02:51I'm like, nobody's ever going to look in your phone.
02:52In case I don't have Wi-Fi one day.
02:55I mean, I know personally that it's a good thing to walk over to your kid's phone, put
02:59in their code, and sit there and scroll.
03:02Okay.
03:02You know, because then they know, hey, it can happen at any given time.
03:05That's smart.
03:05If you got a kid with an archive of stuff, then maybe you ain't scrolling by enough.
03:09Okay.
03:10Maybe as a parent, pick it up, scroll through, sit there with your kid.
03:13Random checks.
03:13Let's go through your phone.
03:14Like jail.
03:15If they start sweating and getting nervous, you know you're on the one.
03:18Bunk check.
03:19Yeah.
03:19Bunk check.
03:20We're looking for contraband up against the wall.
03:23Up against the wall.
03:24All right.
03:25Let's see.
03:25I got one here.
03:26It says, I'm an independent 41-year-old woman who attracts men that are 10 to 13 years younger
03:32than I am.
03:33I'm not interested in any of these guys.
03:35I feel that they're only after one thing.
03:38Another problem is that if they're closer to my age, I feel smothered because they just
03:43all want, they want all in.
03:45It seems I'm either loved too much or not at all.
03:49What is wrong with me?
03:50You need to be more open-minded and stop just age your, your ages at the end of the day.
03:57I mean, there are younger guys that are willing and ready to be a good partner of people that
04:02are the same age.
04:03I mean, have a little bit more of an open mind when it comes to dating.
04:05It's hard to find the right person, but you got to go out there and explore a little bit
04:08or you're never going to find anybody.
04:10I don't think this lady is ready to be loved because she doesn't love herself.
04:13Everybody that she sees that comes around, she finds something wrong with them.
04:16They're too young.
04:17They're too old.
04:17They're too smothering.
04:18It's not this.
04:19It's not that.
04:19I think it comes from within.
04:21So I think you need to work on yourself and then you'll attract what you're looking for.
04:24She asked you, was it her?
04:25So you're saying, yes, it's you.
04:27It's you.
04:28Something's wrong with you.
04:29Well, I wouldn't go that far.
04:30She said there's something wrong with you.
04:31I think there's some work to be done.
04:33Right.
04:33So you need to stop sizing people up.
04:36Stop labeling people.
04:38The law of attraction at that point will bring somebody in your life that is compatible.
04:41And all I see lately is all these 40-something-year-old moms and they are hooking up with these
04:47late 20-year-old somethings and a lot of them are actually marrying them and having really
04:51great relationships.
04:52What about if one of them young dudes rocked your boat?
04:54That's the problem.
04:55That's what I'm saying.
04:55That's the problem.
04:57What's the problem?
04:57What's wrong with getting your boat rocked?
04:58Because then your emotions, you get a little cloudy.
05:01Then you start thinking a little outside of the box.
05:03She wants somebody real.
05:04You can make bad decisions when you're getting your boat rocked.
05:09We've all been there.
05:13And things get cloudy after a while.
05:16Well, I mean, I'm going to play this now.
05:19Might as well play Rock the Boat by Leah.
05:22We're going to dedicate it to you, 41-year-old lady that needs her boat rocked.
05:25We have a question from Jenny out of Sarasota.
05:30Okay.
05:31Jenny says, why do men expect that women should be giving them Monica if the woman isn't feeling
05:40like having sexual intercourse?
05:42Like it seems kind of violating that they enjoy having it done if one party isn't wanting
05:49to be involved.
05:52You should be allowed to say I'm not in the mood.
05:55And you mean like completely just because I, I mean, there could be times where I don't
06:00feel like doing that completely.
06:01But you know what?
06:02I want to make sure you're happy.
06:04There's, there's happy mediums there all the time.
06:05But if I say I'm not in the mood, there should be times when that's acceptable and I don't
06:09want to do anything whatsoever.
06:10And you know what?
06:11Not all men are going to pressure you.
06:12I'm not a pressure or at all.
06:14Never have been.
06:15If you say, yo, I'm not feeling this, then I think respectfully you should wait till another
06:20time.
06:21And I think that's a conversation that needs to be had.
06:23It's like, yo, it's not that I'm not in the mood to do one thing.
06:25I'm not in the mood for none of this.
06:27I don't want to do anything with you right now.
06:29There are the pushy people who are out there and maybe she's dealing with a pushy person.
06:33That's what it sounds like.
06:34But I do know that there is a, there's some part of it, I don't know what verse it is,
06:39but there's some part of the Bible that backs this up.
06:41The pushy people all lean on it.
06:43Apparently there's something about not having your spouse, like taking care of your spouse.
06:47Yeah.
06:48There's some sort of old school, something in the dusty part that basically the pushers
06:53always lean on.
06:55I don't know which one it is, but I've heard people say it about, oh, nothing defiles the
07:00marital bed.
07:00The last thing you want to do is bring up the Bible.
07:01Something about the marital bed and all this other foolishness.
07:04It's like, so when you got to lean on a book, that one verse, then that means that you're
07:08just doing the most.
07:09It's okay that I get a little bit of like a push.
07:11Like, let me just try one more time just to see if she's like, for real, for real.
07:15But after that.
07:16And then honored and long.
07:17I don't want to, I don't want to get with somebody that's not in the mood to be with
07:20me, by the way.
07:20Like, let's make sure we're in the mood together.
07:22Yeah.
07:23If I'm not into it, we can watch a movie and then go to bed.
07:26Yeah.
07:26That's actually kind of a good transition to this anonymous one that just came in the room.
07:30It says, I have a lady friend and we, she's been my sneaky link for a year
07:33and a half now.
07:34It's been, uh, because my girl and I don't have any intimacy, intimacy consistently.
07:40It's only gone down to about four times a year.
07:43My love drive has been through the roof and she just doesn't want to.
07:47The sneaky link doesn't want me as a man.
07:49And it is okay with just the physical aspect.
07:52She's even trying to help me with my relationship, giving me ideas of how to spice it up.
07:57Should I just end it with my current girl?
07:59Because I don't see it getting better.
08:01We've been together seven years.
08:03I'm still tripping off four times a year.
08:05That's quarterly.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Once a quarter.
08:06That's your bonus.
08:07I mean, for real.
08:08If you get that.
08:10My God.
08:10Okay.
08:11Don't, don't jump out of your relationship because you think the sneaky link is the move
08:15because she's already proven that she don't want you.
08:17No, he just wants to like dip out all together.
08:19It sounds like.
08:20Yeah.
08:20I mean, I think he should dip on, honestly.
08:23You tried.
08:24These two sound like they're not too compatible in the 14 or 15 sentences that he texts us.
08:30There's not one positive thing he said about his girl, except for the fact that we've been
08:33together seven years.
08:34I think you're just prolonging the inevitable.
08:37And I think you'd be better off to just break it off.
08:40Does somebody who only does it four times a year find anybody?
08:44That's my question.
08:45Like who's out there for you?
08:47If you only want it four times a year, somebody with low T or somebody that's not, you know,
08:51I think there's somebody compatible with that, maybe an older guy, maybe somebody that doesn't
08:56have this high drive like this dude does.
08:59That was pretty dope that, you know, you were doctors on this segment and you said low T.
09:02Low T.
09:03Low T.
09:03Sound like a commercial.
09:05Please consult with a real doctor before starting any T regimen.
09:09Or any advice we give you.
09:11Your daughter dropped a low T on him.
09:13I'm like, boy, you better work that lab.
09:15Yes, sir.
09:17Wow.
09:18Okay.
09:18All right.
09:19We got one more.
09:19Let's see here.
09:21I got one.
09:21It says my dad got his younger girlfriend pregnant and it has to be my feelings.
09:25I wasn't cool with them being together in the first place because she's in her mid-twenties
09:29and now she's pregnant with my new sibling and I'm in complete shock.
09:34How do I handle this?
09:35Why don't your dad live?
09:37I mean, your dad is out there still living.
09:39Like we just talked about somebody not getting it four times a year.
09:42Yeah.
09:43Your dad is out there killing.
09:45What do you care if your sibling is just being born?
09:48Yeah.
09:48Be supportive basically is what you're saying.
09:50You can't change it.
09:50There's a baby coming in.
09:52You mad because your daddy happier than you?
09:54Mmm.
09:55Damn.
09:56Living in the past.
09:57I think it'll get better.
09:57It's tough.
09:58It's a weird dichotomy because like that's dad, but that's not mom and now he's got one
10:02and she's really young and now she's pregnant and daddy.
10:05But daddy's probably happier than he's been in a long time.
10:07Daddy happy probably working out.
10:08Daddy's tea is banging.
10:10At the same time though, I do think it's your responsibility to make sure that it's genuine
10:14and that she's not just trying to like trap him or take advantage of him.
10:17That's a separate conversation.
10:18Is that her responsibility?
10:20Well, I think you can help because sometimes if you're dad, if you're in that situation,
10:24you get blinded to the fact you're getting attention from a young little cutie pie.
10:28You don't know how to act.
10:29Cutie pie.
10:29A little cutie pie.
10:30You sound like Pops.
10:32A little cutie pie.
10:33Hello, you like some wine.
10:36Let's see.
10:37All right.
10:37Hey, freaks.
10:38This is for any therapist.
10:39I have a dilemma.
10:41Over the past years, I've worked very hard at my nine to five, working about 45, 50 hours
10:46every week.
10:47I've also been behind the scenes completing my career to get hired with a financial firm.
10:52I recently completed this journey and now jump well into six figure income.
10:57My problem is my girl and her family was so negative and bashed me through the journey
11:03for my years.
11:04And now that I'm good, they're all now that I'm good.
11:09I'm now a good guy all of a sudden.
11:12And I'm thinking about jumping ship.
11:14What should I do?
11:15Okay.
11:15So resentment is basically what we're talking about here.
11:18Either you got to either let it go and grow and be a better person or you're just going
11:24to it's going to eat you up inside and fester.
11:26So are we going to be a better person and let things go?
11:29Does this person love you?
11:30Yes.
11:30Maybe they didn't necessarily agree with some of the decisions you made.
11:33This happens all the time in relationships, but they're still there.
11:36If you love your wife, her family comes with her.
11:39And you know, part of the criticism that they had, because it said you were working and you
11:43were trying to better yourself, put yourself in a situation.
11:45They probably looked at you at that point, like you didn't really have that much time
11:49for her, which it sounds like you kind of didn't.
11:51And so maybe they were a little bit justified in their apprehension.
11:56Plus, that was a big roll of the dice.
11:58And you know, maybe it worked, but it could have not worked.
12:02I think try to embrace them with open arms.
12:04You're in a new space.
12:05They can be too.
12:06And let bygones be bygones.
12:08Change is scary, by the way.
12:10If you find out like your whole world is going to shift and change and all that stuff,
12:13it can bring back some people being mean and not sure about what's going to happen in
12:17their relationship.
12:18Well, you also got to look at the fact that you might be trying to bounce out because now
12:21you're good.
12:23Like that's part of it, too.
12:24Your family didn't believe you.
12:27And probably some of your homies didn't believe you.
12:29And you was like, man, I'm gonna be financially like, yeah, whatever.
12:32OK, they don't they don't have to believe you.
12:34You believe in yourself.
12:35You accomplish the goal.
12:36But now that you got there, you like, hmm, I could scrap all these people and go out here
12:41and rock with somebody else.
12:42So it's not just them.
12:44It's kind of you trying to get away as well.
12:46And I mean, don't use the fact that they didn't buy in and they didn't believe you.
12:50It was your dream.
12:51You cultivated it.
12:53You didn't need them to believe.
12:54And also don't lose who you are as a person with this newfound success or position or money.
13:00Don't switch up now.
13:01You know, stay true to yourself.
13:02Yeah.
13:03And you're tearing your rotator cuff, patting yourself on the back.
13:05Slow down, buddy.
13:07All right.
13:08Orlando and the Freak Show.
13:09Therapy Thursday is a wrap.