MJTV: Roxanne has officially fallen off the wagon
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00:00I made it until January 10th, and I started on January 3rd.
00:05She didn't even start on New Year's Day.
00:11Roxanne confessed that she has already fallen off the wagon in dry January.
00:20Now, today is the 13th, right?
00:23Today is Thursday, January 13th.
00:26And what day did you actually, you're just admitting it now, or you admitted it in an email to me last night.
00:35Yes.
00:35But when did you actually fall off the wagon and bust your vow for a dry January?
00:43I made it until January 10th, and I started on January 3rd.
00:49She didn't even start on New Year's Day.
00:52She started on the 3rd.
00:53Oh, that's right.
00:53So she had the party weekend.
00:55And you ate three days into January before you started dry January.
00:59That's 10% of the month.
01:01So I was doing so well.
01:04And then on Monday, it was Monday, and we, you know, were sitting outside eating dinner, and I was just like, you know what would really go well with these screaming kids?
01:13And sushi.
01:14Scotch.
01:14A whole bottle of Pinot Noir.
01:17A whole bottle of Chardonnay.
01:21Doug, do you still have that moonshine, Doug?
01:23I need the moonshine to put up with these kids.
01:25A whole cardboard case of White Claw.
01:28Yeah.
01:29He's into that.
01:31Doug, Doug drinks, he drinks White Claw.
01:35White Claw like water.
01:36It's just so strange.
01:37Oh, my God.
01:38Doug actually calls it Water Claw.
01:40He does.
01:41Oh, my.
01:42He does.
01:43But I had this big glass of wine.
01:45They gave me a big pour at this restaurant on Monday.
01:48And I posted.
01:48Why did you all, if you're participating in dry, folks, by the way, for those that don't know, I think most do, dry January is a pledge that during the month of January, you cut alcohol out of your diet.
02:02That you just go dry for the month of January.
02:04Well, especially after the drunken debauchery of the holidays.
02:06Yeah.
02:06I mean, you're coming off of New Year's Eve and the holidays and people decide, hey, we're going to start the new year alcohol free for the month.
02:13So, Roxanne jumps on the bandwagon, albeit three days late.
02:18Her dry January began on January 3rd.
02:21Just got to the party.
02:22And it ended a week later on January 10th.
02:26So, why did you allow?
02:28You were at a restaurant?
02:29Yes.
02:29Outside, I had the video to prove it.
02:31You were outdoors.
02:32Yes.
02:33And who ordered the wine?
02:36Me.
02:37I did.
02:37Oh, you ordered.
02:38She ordered the wine.
02:39She's like, you know, it sounds good with these crazy kids.
02:42I seriously said that.
02:43You made the conscious decision that dry January, you had your kids with you?
02:48Yes.
02:48Yes.
02:49Both our children were there.
02:49And it's an outdoor area.
02:51They've got a fountain.
02:52They've got a fire pit.
02:53What restaurant was this?
02:54This is Sushi Alive by my house.
02:57And so, they're running to the fire pit.
02:58They're running to the fountain.
02:59I'm like chasing them.
03:01Sit back down.
03:01Sit back down.
03:02And then I just couldn't do it anymore.
03:03So, you have the kids that are running all over the place.
03:06And people are saying, my God, those parents, can they control their kids?
03:12This is just unfair.
03:13The kids are screaming.
03:15They're running all over the place.
03:16What if your kid tripped and went right into the fire fountain?
03:18I know.
03:19Two separate things.
03:20There's a water fountain and a fire pit.
03:22Not a fire fountain.
03:23Whatever.
03:23A fire fountain would be scary as hell.
03:25That would never pass code.
03:26Like a volcano.
03:27A couple of code violations right there.
03:32Is that a fountain of fire?
03:33Why don't you send your kids to the rim of the Kilauea volcano in Hawaii?
03:37How ironic is that?
03:38It's a sushi place with a fountain of fire.
03:40Stuff it isn't even cooked.
03:41All right.
03:41So, you decide the kids are driving me nuts.
03:44I'm going to get sloshed.
03:45Yes, I did.
03:46I did.
03:47And I just said, Doug, I can't do it.
03:49Go get Daviana out of the fountain and give me a glass of wine.
03:53Your kids were climbing in the fountain?
03:56It was their bath for the night.
03:58You know, I'm really opposed.
04:00I really look down on those parents that have the kids on those leashes.
04:05But it sounds like you need to...
04:07Daviana got a leash for Christmas.
04:09Oh, really?
04:10Yes, because we are going to take a trip to an amusement park at some point.
04:13She's never been.
04:14Did it come from PetSmart?
04:15It came from Chewy.
04:16It came from Chewy.
04:18It's so easy.
04:18They deliver right to your house.
04:20Does Chewy sell kid leashes?
04:22Do they?
04:22Well, they sell dog leashes.
04:24But with a little engineering, you can make it a kid leash.
04:27And for small kids, you just get a large dog.
04:29If you want the harness version.
04:31You know the harness leashes?
04:32I use those for our dogs.
04:33The trick is to put a backpack on the kid and you latch the leash to the backpack.
04:37That's the kind that she has.
04:38It looks like a little butterfly backpack.
04:39And then for snacks, do you give your kids greenies?
04:41You know the little greenies?
04:43Yeah.
04:44M&M's.
04:45Green M&M's.
04:45No, no, no.
04:46Greenies are for dogs.
04:46No, it's the dog treat.
04:47The greenies.
04:48Not green M&M's.
04:49It strengthens teeth and gums.
04:51Exactly.
04:52And bad breath.
04:52And dogs love them.
04:53Yeah.
04:54And kids.
04:54Well, let me tell you, I posted my story with my wine glass and I can't tell you how many
05:00people hit me back.
05:01I already fell off too.
05:02I already stopped drinking or, oh my gosh, I'm so sick of these alcohol-free seltzer
05:07things I've been drinking.
05:08So I am not the only bad January dry person that can't stick to it.
05:13Man, you fell off quickly.
05:15You start late.
05:16You fall off early.
05:17I mean, how does it get worse?