MJTV: Roxanne might get kicked off a flight today...
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00:00She's going to order, you know, like a scotch.
00:02Hit me.
00:06So, Roxanne, you're headed to Kalamazoo.
00:10Yes.
00:10Today.
00:11Today.
00:11You have no idea what airline you're on.
00:13I think it's American, maybe.
00:17Do you fly into Detroit?
00:19Chicago.
00:20Okay.
00:20So, yeah, from Chicago, a bunch of things go to Grand Rapids.
00:23Right.
00:23All right, so you fly Tampa, Chicago, and then you're flying Chicago to Kalamazoo.
00:28Exactly.
00:28No, Grand Rapids.
00:30I'm sorry.
00:31Well, to Grand Rapids.
00:32And why do you think that you could possibly end up on the news?
00:37Well, here's the deal.
00:39Daviana just, she's flown before, but she's flown under the age of two.
00:45All right, so Daviana is your four-year-old daughter.
00:49No, she's my just two-year-old daughter.
00:52I'm sorry.
00:52All right, all right.
00:53So, what's the name of the four-year-old?
00:55Evelyn Jade.
00:56Evelyn Jade is your four-year-old, and then Daviana is the two-year-old.
01:01And she just turned two.
01:03She's only been on a plane two times, and when she was on the plane, she was one-something.
01:09Oh, so, oh.
01:10And so she's never worn a mask.
01:13Oh, no.
01:15And we were not anticipating taking this trip, so I haven't been, like, practicing masks with
01:20her.
01:20Oh, you're going to get thrown off the flight.
01:23Yes.
01:23Oh, she's not going to want them.
01:24She's not.
01:25And I tried to put one on her the other day, and she just chucked it off.
01:30She's not going to want to wear the mask, and you're required, what, two and over, you
01:34have to wear a mask, right?
01:35Two and over.
01:35Two and over.
01:36And then we're like, wait, is she at the cusp?
01:38Should we just try to act like she's not two, but she's a big, big two?
01:44Yes, that's exactly what you should do.
01:46Oh, my God.
01:46She's going to be thrown off the plane.
01:50So, I mean, I'm literally picturing, I'm going to have to sit there and hold it over
01:54her face, and she's going to be screaming.
01:56Roxanne, you are way off base.
01:58Just listen.
01:58She is one in 11 months.
02:00Right?
02:01That's what I'm thinking.
02:02Listen, you're talking to somebody who told Disney World that his daughter was two until
02:07she was five.
02:08Wait a second.
02:09Okay?
02:10Yeah, it's great.
02:11It's great.
02:11You get in, you say, oh, she's one year and 11 months.
02:16Don't they know on the passenger manifest?
02:19That's the problem.
02:20Faster.
02:20No.
02:21That's the problem.
02:22They've got a passenger manifest.
02:24If you ever see the flight attendants, they have that computer printout.
02:27They know every passenger on that flight.
02:30They, I believe, have age.
02:32They know what seat assignment you have.
02:35They know, I think if you're an employee, if you're a non-rev or non-revenue seat, they
02:42have a lot of information.
02:44So, they're going to know that little devilana here.
02:47What is it?
02:49Daviana.
02:49Oh, I'm sorry.
02:50They're going to know that she is of mask-wearing age on the airplane.
02:55Well, she has her own seat now.
02:57That's the thing.
02:58You have to get a two-year-old their own seat.
03:00They're not a lap baby anymore.
03:01She's going to be ordering her own drinks as well.
03:03She's going to order, you know, like a scotch.
03:05Hit me.
03:08Look at these two I'm traveling with.
03:10Oh, man.
03:10They're driving me nuts.
03:11This, this bald dude and, and, and this neurotic mother that has no idea what airline we're
03:17on.
03:18Doesn't.
03:20Yeah.
03:20Hello?
03:21Yeah.
03:21Yeah.
03:21Doesn't, doesn't Kalamazoo sound like a city just filled with doofuses?
03:26Like that name is just, where are you from?
03:28Oh, don't, I'm from Kalamazoo.
03:30A bunch of dummies there.
03:34I think they call it K-Zoo sometimes, which might be worse.
03:38I'm from Kalamazoo.
03:40What a horrible place.
03:42Whenever I think of Kalamazoo, I think of when the Flintstones jumped the shark with that
03:49green little Martian guy, Kazoo.
03:51Do you remember that?
03:52Oh, yes.
03:55That's Kazoo.
03:56Yes.
03:57That's whenever I think of Kalamazoo.
03:59I think of that Kazoo character from the, the old Flintstones.
04:02So that was jumping the shark.
04:04Just so all three of you idiots feel really bad.
04:07I want you to know Kalamazoo is an Indian word and it means where animals who are wounded
04:14by Indians crawl to die.
04:17What?
04:18It means where doofuses live.
04:20Are you making this?
04:21Oh, wait a minute.
04:22You've got it on your computer.
04:23Is this real?
04:24According to the Google, according to the Google, you type in meaning of Kalamazoo.
04:28Fester is on the Google right now.
04:32It's a, it's a, Kalamazoo is derived from a Potawatomi, Potawatomi, Potawatomi tribe
04:39term meaning the area where animals wounded by Indians crawl to die.
04:46What an uplifting name for a city.
04:50I mean, the chamber of commerce at that time really should have thought a little bit more.
04:55Welcome to Pet Sematary, it sounds like.
04:57What's better, guys?
04:58City of death or Kalamazoo?
05:01What do we go with?
05:02Oh, no.
05:02All right.
05:02Thanks.
05:03All right.
05:04We're just getting rolling today.
05:05All right.
05:06So, will your daughter, the devil, will she, will she wear her mask on the airplane today
05:12or throw a tantrum and you guys get ejected off the flight?
05:16Okay.
05:16I prefer independent spirit.
05:18Nice.