nobody's house episode 4
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00:00I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I...
00:30Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
01:00Oh, stop playing games now, Biddy. I'm trying to pack.
01:23Look, I know it's you now, so just stop it, will you?
01:30Ow! Serves you right.
01:36Oh, nobody! What did you do that for?
01:40I know it's you. Now, what's the matter? You know we've got to pack, ready to go away.
01:47Oh, has he been playing games with you too, has he?
01:49He's so silly sometimes.
01:51He was in a mood last night as well. All that rushing around the house, like trying to go to sleep in a gale.
01:57He knows we can't leave for Grandma's until we've packed. I think he's very selfish.
02:02Very selfish? What about you two going away and leaving me like this? Do you watch Selfish?
02:07Well, we're only going for one night.
02:09Blimey, don't you think we're leaving for good, the way you're carrying on?
02:12Well?
02:13Well, why don't you come with us?
02:14Of course, I've told you before. If I leave this house for any amount of time, I'll come back and find another ghost ticking over me arms.
02:20I'd lose me arm then, wouldn't I?
02:21Oh, you've haunted this house for years all along, yet here you are complaining about being by yourself for one night.
02:28Mates, aren't we, eh? Mates who'd stick together. Besides, it's me birthday.
02:32I thought you told you didn't know when you were born.
02:34Me birthday when I become a ghost, clever.
02:36My stads aren't in this house. 140 years ago come tomorrow night.
02:40Tomorrow? Well, we'll be back by then. Tell you what, now, we'll have a party for you.
02:44Oh, yeah, great. A party for me.
02:46Just the three of us, up here.
02:48Since you two come to live here, I haven't felt much like a ghost.
02:55Competition in the insurance business is very tough nowadays, Mr Sinclair.
02:59That's why we're offering low premiums to selected clients that we feel are a good risk.
03:05To tell you the truth, I couldn't afford a very high premium.
03:07Most of the capital we had when we started this business is tied up in stock.
03:11Which is exactly why you should be insured.
03:13It seems to me you have some fairly valuable antiques,
03:16and I'm assuming you have some even more valuable things that you don't have on display.
03:20Yes, yes, indeed.
03:21Most of the jewellery and whatnot we keep locked in the safe.
03:25Safe?
03:26Behind the picture.
03:28Oh, very wise.
03:30Could I take a look?
03:31Yes, yes, of course.
03:34Oh, yes, that looks quite secure.
03:37What do you have inside?
03:38Er, jewellery and whatnot.
03:40Could I see that?
03:41Yes, go on.
03:42Thank you.
03:48I can see you're a very cautious man, Mr Sinclair.
03:50We like that.
03:56Oh, very nice.
03:59Yes.
04:00Well, you're very wise to keep those under lock and key.
04:03There must be five or six hundred pounds worth there.
04:05Oh, close to a thousand.
04:07I hope you have some sort of burglar alarm system fitted.
04:09Yes.
04:10Could I see that?
04:11Why not?
04:18Is that it?
04:19Er, no, no, that's, er, that's the dog.
04:22Now, we've got an alarm on the, on the door here,
04:25one on the inside of the door leading from the house,
04:28and, er, oh, shop window.
04:30Ah, yes, well, they look good enough.
04:32Um, tell me, Mr Sinclair, what value would you place on the contents?
04:37The placement value of all the stuff we have in the shop.
04:40Er, something in the region of 5,000.
04:43Hmm.
04:44Right, well, I'll tell you what I do.
04:46I'm sufficiently impressed with your security system
04:48to offer you the lowest premiums to cover the house and contents,
04:51plus, let's say, a 10,000 limit on the stock in hand in the shop.
04:55Oh, premium charges are on page five of the brochure.
04:58Well, it's lucky of you I called in.
04:59You're getting quite a bargain.
05:01I'll drop back on Monday when you've had time to consider the proposal.
05:04Oh, all right.
05:05I'll hand the stash now.
05:06Oh, there's one more thing.
05:08Is the property left unoccupied for any length of time?
05:10No, not really.
05:11Oh, I sometimes take the family to stay with my mother on a Saturday.
05:14Saturday today?
05:15Yes.
05:16Oh, we're back tomorrow.
05:17We always come back on Sunday.
05:18Ah, well, as long as it's not for too long.
05:20The company aren't too keen to give cover in those circumstances.
05:23Right, well, don't feel you're being rushed into anything,
05:25but do consider the proposal seriously.
05:26I think it's a good offer.
05:27Bye-bye.
05:28Have a nice weekend.
05:29Goodbye.
05:30Bye.
05:31Hello.
05:32Hello.
05:33Hello, darling.
05:34Hello, darling.
05:35Customer or creditor?
05:37Neither.
05:38Insurance salesman.
05:39Oh, yuck.
05:40He's got a nice chair.
05:41Made me think a bit.
05:43We really should insure everything, you know.
05:45We could be cleared out by a burglar one night.
05:47Yeah, I suppose so.
05:49Oh, what a day.
05:51Never mind.
05:52You can sleep on the drive down to Mother's.
05:53Oh, darling, I hate to have to tell you, but...
05:56What?
05:57Well, you know we've had this outbreak of flu amongst us.
06:00You're working tomorrow.
06:01You're not coming.
06:02Sorry.
06:03Oh, don't worry.
06:04I'll take the kids anyway.
06:05You have a nice restful night without us in your hair.
06:07Restful?
06:08I've got a ton of ironing to do,
06:10including our bedroom curtains and bedspread.
06:12Well, can't you leave them, have a bit of a rest?
06:14And have all the time watching while I get ready for bed.
06:16And, of course, a raised eyebrow or two.
06:18I don't know.
06:19Not that I should be able to sleep well with you all away, anyway.
06:22Darling.
06:23Hmm?
06:24Don't overdo it.
06:25I won't.
06:26Now, I suppose I'd better get your things packed.
06:28Well, all right, you can have the party in here.
06:30But as long as you don't make a mess.
06:32Cos, well, you know how untidy you are.
06:34Stop nagging.
06:35You're worse than Mum.
06:36What is it?
06:37What happens?
06:38What do you mean?
06:39Well, I mean, I have heard of birthday parties.
06:41Used to have them down at that old man's house for them posh kids.
06:44But I ain't never had one.
06:45All of us workhouse kids did.
06:46Oh, you've never been to a party?
06:47Never?
06:48Sometimes at Christmas.
06:49Vic, you send down a few bob.
06:51Used to get a bowel of ale, some tatties and a bit of leg up.
06:54But ain't a party, is it?
06:55Not a proper one.
06:56No, it's not, nobody.
06:57Well, there's a picture of a party here.
06:59Oh, yeah.
07:01Oh, that's a doll's tea party, you loon.
07:03Well, it's the same sort of thing, isn't it?
07:05See, nobody does that to a tea party.
07:07We all sit round in paper hats and eat jellies and sandwiches.
07:09And treats and sandwiches.
07:10And things.
07:11And for the person whose birthday it is,
07:13well, there's a big cake.
07:14Like, like that.
07:17What's all them candles for?
07:19Oh, well, once for each year.
07:21If you're 14 years old, you get 14 candles, see?
07:23Yeah, I'm 100 and odd.
07:25Oh, yeah, well.
07:27You better be the same age as me, then.
07:29This'll be your 14th birthday.
07:31So I get 14 candles?
07:32Right, and at the end of the party,
07:33we light all the candles,
07:34and you have to blow them out with one breath.
07:36Blow them out, like what for?
07:38Oh, I don't know, you just do.
07:40Well, it's like saying goodbye to the 13 years
07:42and hello to the 14th.
07:43Sort of symbolic.
07:44Sounds like fun.
07:45What happens next?
07:46Oh, then we play games and things.
07:49What's that?
07:50Oh, you can get biscuits and that,
07:51but what about a birthday cake?
07:53Hey, we can have one of them
07:54that your mum makes for Sunday tea.
07:56Well, I don't really...
07:57Well, I sits in there sometimes and watches her.
07:59She puts all sorts of nuts and jam and...
08:01I'd like to see about that, nobody.
08:02Then there's the presents.
08:03Presents?
08:04Well, everybody who comes to your party
08:05brings you a present.
08:06Tom, Ginny, come on, you two.
08:08OK, Mum.
08:09See you, nobody.
08:10See you.
08:11Bye, nobody.
08:12You can get everything ready for the party
08:13while we're gone.
08:16Just get everything ready for the party
08:17while we're gone, OK?
08:18Get what ready?
08:19Tom!
08:20What?
08:21Don't forget me present.
08:22OK.
08:24I don't know anything about birthday parties.
08:27Quiet!
08:28Elephants!
08:29It's raining.
08:31There.
08:32That's everything you'll need.
08:33Packed into the car.
08:34Thank you, darling.
08:36What are you doing?
08:37Locking up the crown jewels?
08:38There you go, too careful.
08:39I don't think he's going to break in
08:40while I'm here, are they?
08:41Oh, you're not coming to your gran's, Mum?
08:43Sorry, loves.
08:44I've got to work tomorrow.
08:45Oh, Mum.
08:47I've forgotten a book...
08:48Don't keep me long.
08:49Go on.
08:51I still think we should have left Walter with you.
08:53Oh, that's silly.
08:54I'd only have to leave him on his own all day tomorrow.
08:56Don't forget to lock up the shop.
08:57Nobody.
08:58Nobody?
08:59Hey, that one's shorter, is it?
09:00Mum's not coming with us.
09:01I'll have company after all, then.
09:03I just thought to tell you
09:04cos no-one knew you'd go barging right into her
09:06and frighten the living daylights out of her.
09:08Me?
09:09So you just behave, right?
09:10In fact, it's your responsibility to look after Mum.
09:13On one condition.
09:15What?
09:16Yes, can you look at that lovely spongy cake for the party?
09:18Oh, nobody.
09:21All right.
09:22But you behave, right?
09:23Yes, good.
09:24I've got to go.
09:25Coming, Dad.
09:26See you, nobody.
09:27Bye, love.
09:28Bye.
09:29Bye-bye.
09:30Be on your mother's way.
09:32Hey, don't forget to kiss.
09:34Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:36Bye.
09:37Bye.
09:38Bye.
09:39Bye.
09:40Bye.
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11:35Bye.
11:36Bye.
11:37Bye.
11:38Bye.
11:40Bye.
11:41Bye.
11:42Bye.
11:43Bye.
11:44I am leaving the curtains.
11:45I will sleep in Gillis room tonight to save embarrassing the neighbours.
11:45Right.
11:46Right.
11:47Good night, darling.
11:48See you all tomorrow.
11:49Bye.
11:50Bye.
11:51Bye.
11:52Oh, no.
12:22Is she with us, Norbert Yeager?
12:51There's no need to whisper.
12:52They're all away, the entire family.
12:54Too clever be half, you are.
12:57Where are you going?
12:58Checking the rest of the house and opening the back door.
13:00Back door? What on earth for?
13:02You amateurs.
13:04Suz, we've got a second way out, clever dick.
13:06You don't know about this game, do you?
13:09When I set up a job, smiley, there's no need for these stupid precautions.
13:12I use my brains, they're foolproof.
13:14Aye, well I've spent too much time in the knicks to trust clever little lads like you.
13:53No, no, no.
13:55Don't play tricks.
13:58Lucy!
14:13That was you, wasn't it? That was you.
14:16Was what?
14:19No, it couldn't have been.
14:21What's the matter with you?
14:23The ghost. I've seen it.
14:25Ghost?
14:26What ghost?
14:28What on earth are you talking about?
14:30They always said this place was haunted and now I know it's true.
14:33I've seen it.
14:35I thought it was you lurking about with a sheet over your head
14:38and I grabbed the sheet and nothing.
14:40There was nothing there.
14:42Don't be such an idiot.
14:44There's no such thing as ghosts, you're imagining it.
14:46It's dark, isn't it?
14:47But I've seen it.
14:48You probably saw a shadow coming into the moonlight from outside.
14:51But I grabbed it and Lucy shut up.
14:55You're behaving like a hysterical old woman.
14:57Now come on.
14:58Let's do what we came here for.
15:00Let's get cracky on this safe.
15:01It's behind the picture.
15:04All right, all right.
15:06That's fair shook me up, that.
15:08I couldn't have sworn...
15:10Come on, come on, get on with it.
15:13It's here.
15:15I can feel it.
15:20Don't be silly.
15:22It's just a draft.
15:23It's an old house, bang, full of creaking and odd noises.
15:26Come on, get on with it.
15:27Otherwise we'll be here all night.
15:31Right, I'm going to look at the back rooms.
15:33You're not going to leave me?
15:34Are you scared of the dark?
15:35Come on, get on with it.
15:36Stop behaving like a two-year-old.
15:46Right, now for you, my baby.
15:52There's no such thing as ghosts.
16:16Whoa.
16:21Ah, got you.
16:26Smiley.
16:28Smiley.
16:30Smiley, come on, wake up.
16:32Oh, my head.
16:33What's happened to you?
16:34Oh, someone hit me, I think.
16:36What?
16:37Oh, you must have knocked these books off the shelf or something.
16:40Come on, get the hell out of here.
16:42You must have knocked these books off the shelf or something.
16:44Come on, get that safe open.
16:46I opened it.
16:47Well, it doesn't look open to me.
16:49I distinctly remember opening that.
16:51Oh, yes.
16:52Look, I was told you were the best man with a safe in this area.
16:55Up to now, all you've done is behave like a scared kid.
16:57Now get on with it.
17:00Where are you going now?
17:01I'm going to do the upstairs rooms, aren't I?
17:12I'm going to do the upstairs rooms.
17:42Go away, Moody.
17:44What's up?
17:45What is he?
17:48Grab the stuff.
17:49Get me out of here.
17:53Hey, hey.
17:54What's happened?
17:56You've seen it, haven't you?
17:58Shut up.
17:59Come on.
18:03Get out of the way.
18:04Smiley.
18:05Get past it, you stupid...
18:12Get in.
18:21What are we going to do, Moody?
18:23What are we going to do?
18:24Through there.
18:25The door.
18:30It's only a cellar.
18:31That won't do.
18:32It'll do me.
18:37Smiley.
18:38Open the door.
18:42Open the door.
18:59Police.
19:00Is that the police?
19:01Could you please send someone immediately?
19:03I've trapped two burglars in the cellar.
19:05Yes.
19:06Jane Sinclair, Cornerstones Antique Shop, 84 Valley Road.
19:10Cornerstones Antique Shop.
19:13Cornerstones.
19:16Here.
19:17Don't forget these.
19:18Be careful with this.
19:19It's extremely valuable.
19:21Now then.
19:22It's all right, Dad.
19:23I can do that.
19:24Come on, police station.
19:26I'll make you a cup of tea before you go.
19:27I could do with something stronger before I make that statement.
19:30I must say, I don't relish that.
19:31Why not, Daddy?
19:33Never you mind.
19:34No, never mind.
19:37I think nobody will like it.
19:40Like what?
19:41This.
19:42It's your present.
19:43That?
19:44It's to keep you company if we have to go away again.
19:46What the heck's that?
19:47It's an old magic lantern.
19:48Dad's put an electric light bulb in it.
19:50Magic.
19:51It shows pictures.
19:52What, like that contraption downstairs?
19:54That telly thing?
19:55No, this used to belong to our great-granddad.
19:57They used to live a few miles away from here.
19:59Roxley, I think it was.
20:01Roxley?
20:02Used to be a market there on Mondays.
20:03Good place for nicking, that was.
20:05Do you remember what it looked like?
20:06Oh, it's all changed now.
20:08Hey!
20:09That's it!
20:10That's the market!
20:11Oh, great.
20:12Granddad used to live here way back.
20:14He collected all these, including some that you'll really like.
20:18That's Town Hall.
20:19Used to live near there.
20:20What else have you got?
20:21Oh, there's over a hundred.
20:22Most of them are from around here.
20:23A hundred?
20:24By heck.
20:25This should bring back a few memories.
20:33Come on, darling.
20:34You can't put it off any longer.
20:36Yeah.
20:37I should have called in at the police station
20:38on the way home from Mother's.
20:39Five o'clock in the morning?
20:42Oh, being taken in like that.
20:43I feel such a fool.
20:44Well, you weren't to know.
20:46That insurance salesman, though.
20:47He seemed so genuine.
20:48Most villains do, love.
20:49When you think about it,
20:50the line he spun when he was here,
20:52it was so obvious.
20:55Rates were so low.
20:57I'm so gullible.
20:59Oh, perhaps it'll teach me not to be so greedy.
21:04I still can't work out what it was waking me up.
21:07I was absolutely fast asleep.
21:09Those burglars must have been making a terrible noise.
21:12Thought we were all away, didn't they?
21:14Yeah.
21:15Yes.
21:17Must have been very scary for you.
21:19Not really.
21:20I think I frightened them more than they frightened me.
21:23They thought I was a ghost.
21:30Do you really like it, nobody?
21:32Aye, it's the only present I've ever had.
21:36Ah, that's Beale Street.
21:38That's where Tanezara's was.
21:40We used to go down there for Heirlot Sundays.
21:42I could tell you a tale or two about that place.
21:44Me and lads, old Jack, Copperhead, Toby, Sixtoes...
21:47Sixtoes?
21:48Well, they called him that because he had six toes on one foot.
21:50Then they were blind, so...
21:51Because you...
21:52No, we didn't really know whether she was blind or not,
21:54because she never missed when it came to handing out a clout round here-alls.
22:03That's Workhouse.
22:05That must have been awful.
22:06Looks like prison.
22:08Ah, well...
22:09Sort of family, see?
22:10We stuck together, we had to.
22:12Times were hard, especially at Workhouse.
22:14But to me, it was home.
22:15The only one I'd really ever had, that I could remember like.
22:18And them that were in there were me family.
22:20Bye. That were a long time ago.
22:32THE END
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