Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a massive brush fire in Long Island that was likely caused by people making S'mores for breakfast.
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00:00Oh Chuck, hey, daylight saving time is here, you're actually doing okay, those one hour energy shots must have worked.
00:05Dave, these one hour energy shots have me awake, I feel great, I am shocked.
00:11Say it, say it.
00:13Dave, you were right.
00:14Yeah!
00:20Dave and Chuck the Freak salute, the douchebag of the day.
00:25Today's douchebags are some chubby folks that really wanted some s'mores and ended up starting a massive brush fire.
00:35Oh, God.
00:39Why did we make the fire so big?
00:42I'm going to eat the s'mores and try to put it out.
00:43Massive brush fires that raged across Long Island for a few days were started by some folks trying to cook s'mores for breakfast.
00:59Where?
01:00Oh, for breakfast.
01:02For breakfast.
01:03Breakfast s'mores, come on.
01:06Breakfast s'mores.
01:07You can't go start a fire and cook s'mores for breakfast.
01:11I just feel like I hear a narrator almost just being like, and that's when the s'mores fire started.
01:17And they took everything from us.
01:19They were eating them for breakfast.
01:21All of Long Island burn.
01:25The great s'mores fire.
01:27These residents started a fire in their backyard about 9 o'clock Saturday morning to cook up the sweet s'mores breakfast treats despite heavy winds.
01:39That's crazy.
01:41911.
01:42There we go.
01:42Breakfast s'mores.
01:44We were making breakfast s'mores.
01:45Things got out of hand.
01:46Calm down, sir.
01:47Calm down.
01:47Yeah, yeah.
01:48Explain what happened.
01:49Yeah, we were making breakfast.
01:50I told him we should have got the popcorn.
01:52I said we should have just got the s'more popcorn.
01:54Well, they didn't, they wanted real s'mores for breakfast.
01:59That's it.
01:59That's how normal people do it.
02:01Right.
02:01Just put it in the toaster, you know.
02:04Yeah.
02:05Oh, boy.
02:05Now they had difficulty getting their fire started because of the gusty conditions, so they tried to light up a giant piece of cardboard.
02:11Oh, that'll fly.
02:12That'll fly all the way away.
02:14The cardboard ignited and the entire backyard area went up in flames.
02:19Oh, crap.
02:20Save the mark, man.
02:21Save the mark.
02:22I get him.
02:22I get him.
02:23I get him.
02:24Who cares about the house?
02:27Can you imagine?
02:28They show up.
02:29They're like, is anyone trapped?
02:31We couldn't find the graham crackers.
02:34They got hurt in the back.
02:35We lost three, four, maybe five boxes of graham crackers.
02:37Get to the back quick.
02:38You can save them.
02:39Yeah, they're still there burning.
02:41They're still there burning.
02:43I like them too, silly bit.
02:44Yeah, I mean, if you can save me, he just brings the golden honey.
02:47The fires tore eastbound into Long Island's Pine Barrens and West Hampton and Suffolk County before they were finally knocked down by emergency responders from more than 90 fire departments.
03:01Whoa.
03:01Yeah.
03:02I'm surprised they admitted it, that it was the s'mores.
03:04Well, I mean, they probably had like chocolate on them and stuff.
03:08They probably, all they do, right, they just walk to the end of the fire, right?
03:16So like, they're like, they walk to the end of the fire and then there's just like a couple
03:19fat guys eating s'mores in the morning and like, hey boys, what's up?
03:24Like, they know they did it.
03:28Look there.
03:29That is crazy.
03:30That's like the fattest, maybe the fattest disaster of all time.
03:33I know, it could be for sure.
03:34Absolutely.
03:35The flames spread two and a half miles wide and two miles long with windy conditions spreading
03:42them quickly and eventually destroying at least one commercial building and damaging another.
03:47Two fire personnel were injured battling the blazes, but they were released from area hospitals.
03:52But you, you and your big chubby breakfast s'mores ass started.
03:59How do you live with yourself after that?
04:01I mean, at least they haven't killed anyone yet, right?
04:04No.
04:04Society had become too fat.
04:07Several people had made breakfast s'mores and took Long Island first.
04:13That is how Long Island failed.
04:15It's the story that will be told.
04:17Year was 2025.
04:20The great fire began.
04:22It consumed all of New York state.
04:26It was started by breakfast s'mores.
04:30As most of the fires of those 10 years were started.
04:33I mean, I've heard of people having like s'mores waffles or s'mores pancakes maybe, but I've
04:37never heard of just straight up breakfast s'mores.
04:38Yeah, I mean, you're saying by the dignity at that point, right?
04:41It sounds like something like if you're high or something, you wake up and you're like,
04:44yeah, let's have, I don't know.
04:45Yeah, you're right.
04:46They're probably thin.
04:47You gotta be, I don't think there's any way.
04:50No.
04:50No, I mean, to me, it doesn't add up.
04:54To want that flavor combination that early, you are fat.
04:56You start a fire to get it?
04:58You have to start a fire.
05:01Get him to rip me.
05:03Get him to rip me.
05:04And couldn't they just melt them in the oven?
05:06You can always make one inside.
05:09There's like so many other ways to make s'mores.
05:11Oh, there's so many.
05:12I think the s'mores maker should be held responsible for the cost of this.
05:15I think so.
05:15They started it.
05:16Oh, them, yeah.
05:18They're going to be, maybe they'll be fined, but I mean, that's a lot of money.
05:22We're going to have to accuse you of s'moresin'.
05:24Not s'moresin'.
05:26Yeah, it's a new crime.
05:27It's s'mores arson.
05:28They don't let you eat s'mores for the rest of your life.
05:31Oh, my God.
05:33S'moresinists.
05:34I'd be fine.
05:35That's me.
05:35I'm a s'moresinist.
05:37I ain't starting no fires because s'mores don't do it for me.
05:40I never got into them.
05:42I don't know.
05:42I don't know.
05:43They're good.
05:43They're okay, you know?
05:45If you already have a fire going.
05:47I'm not burning down the county.
05:49Although you've had to for your kids before, right?
05:51Oh, yeah, I have.
05:52But at the same time, what is shocking to me always is people live in a forest.
05:57Like, they live in a forest, and they have no idea what not to do.
06:03They're like, it's like 80 Maryland Airmen wins.
06:06You think we can make a fire?
06:07I think it'd be a great time for some s'mores.
06:09I've got this huge cardboard box.
06:11Want to light it up?
06:12I believe their chubbiness took over, right?
06:14They had to have those s'mores no matter what the conditions are.
06:17I mean, I do like the idea, like, you know how dangerous this is, but we have to do it.
06:22We're playing a dangerous game.
06:25Don't worry.
06:26We'll be able to stomp it out if it starts.
06:28And they just couldn't.
06:31Yep, nope.
06:32Help, no, we've lost Long Island!
06:35We've lost Long Island!
06:36We tried to save everybody.
06:38Long Island's gone!
06:39We've lost Long Island because of s'mores.
06:42They got, like, marshmallow dripping down their face.
06:44Yep, they can't help it.
06:45Help!
06:48My hands are just sticky.
06:49Okay.
06:50You.
06:50You.
06:51You.
06:52No.
06:58You.
06:58You.
06:59You.
07:02You.