MJTV: MJ Asks Roxanne Awkward "First Date" Questions
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00:00Welcome to Antonio's. Thank you for coming. How can I help you? What a lovely woman with such a hideous mouth.
00:08Alright, so now let me ask you. I like this place a lot better. I'm going to be much more relaxed.
00:16Yikes. If you're going on a first date, make sure to ask these questions.
00:23Huh? Hmm? Alright.
00:27Any diseases?
00:28If you're going on a first date, make sure you ask these questions.
00:37I might go to phones on this and maybe talk to some folks that have some memories of a recent first date.
00:44Important first date data? Stuff you need to have?
00:47Yeah, this was a piece that was in USA Today a day ago.
00:52Okay, if you're getting dating advice from USA Today, life isn't working out.
00:56The reason why I'm bringing this up, well, you'll find that in a minute.
01:00Why am I bringing this up? Going on a first date, make sure to ask these questions.
01:05And the story just says, most people go on a date with the intention to get to know somebody.
01:09It sounds simple enough, but it's not always that easy.
01:11And then, if you're struggling to come up with questions for a first date, start exploring what you want to know about the other person.
01:21Are there deal breakers or red flags?
01:25Then it says, you know, manage your expectations, blah, blah.
01:30But then there's like this whole list of questions that you can ask on a first date.
01:37It says, questions may vary or the setting and context of your date is obviously going to determine certain things.
01:46But the story says that if you're feeling stuck, here are some suggestions of questions that you can actually ask to get to know somebody.
01:58All right, so put this stuff in the context.
02:00You're on the first date with somebody.
02:02And this is a suggestion in the story in USA Today of questions you can ask.
02:09How do you unwind?
02:10What is your favorite memory as a child?
02:13Okay.
02:14Why don't you give me a chance to answer?
02:15These are terrible.
02:16What are people surprised to learn about you?
02:18Roxanne, what are people surprised to learn about you?
02:20I would never answer that if you just asked me that straight up.
02:23I would have a conversation with you and get to know you.
02:25These are like for robots.
02:26You know what?
02:26Hold on.
02:27Let me pretend.
02:28This is a good idea.
02:28Can we get some restaurant ambience going?
02:30Hey, do me a favor.
02:33Coop, go to YouTube and get me 10 hours of restaurant background noise.
02:39No, restaurant ambience, please, is all you need to look up.
02:42I want to feel it.
02:43All right, so where are we?
02:44Where are we having our first date?
02:46Oh, Chili's.
02:46No way.
02:48Applebee's?
02:49Yeah, absolutely.
02:50Yeah, we fancy like Applebee's on a date night.
02:54Got that Barber Street stay with the Oreo shake.
02:57Yeah, I'm trying to impress Roxanne on our first date.
03:00I'm letting her get the Bourbon Street steak with the Oreo shake.
03:04Hey, guys, welcome to Applebee's.
03:05I'm your server, Chet.
03:06I'll be taking care of you guys tonight.
03:09Oh, there it is.
03:10Oh, this is nice.
03:10This is a great place.
03:12Okay.
03:13How long is this ambience, by the way?
03:14This is 10 hours.
03:15Oh, good.
03:16Perfect.
03:17What is the actual YouTube title here?
03:20Busy Restaurant Diner 10 Hours Ambience Sounds.
03:23Yeah.
03:23That's great.
03:24Who am I on a date with?
03:25I'm on a date with Roxanne.
03:28I'm the server.
03:29Guys, welcome to Applebee's.
03:31Hi, Chet.
03:31That's a lot of flair you have on your suspenders.
03:34Hey, thanks a lot.
03:34You know, I was the server of the month every month since 2014.
03:39Hey, Chet, would you mind telling my date that he can take his mask off because we're
03:41seated now in the booth?
03:42He's safe?
03:43Yeah, Chet.
03:44Who am I?
03:45Sir, who are you?
03:46I don't know.
03:46Why am I here?
03:47Froggy's the sommelier.
03:49Excuse me.
03:49Would you like to try some of the wine at Applebee's?
03:53Would you like me to get the Applebee's Sommelier again?
03:55I have the yellow tail or is it the bare foot?
04:00Sir, sir, you're at your table.
04:01You can take your mask off.
04:03Oh, my God.
04:03You're so hideously ugly, sir.
04:04Please put your mask back on.
04:05Please put it back on.
04:06All right.
04:07So I'm on the date with Roxanne.
04:09All right.
04:09Can I get you guys some drinks?
04:10Maybe some apps?
04:10I'm going to start asking questions.
04:12Okay.
04:12So I'm going out on the first date with Roxanne.
04:15And I happen to see this USA Today piece.
04:18So I'm just going to start rolling out these questions.
04:20So I have the easy part.
04:21I'm just myself.
04:22Okay.
04:22No, you just need to answer my questions.
04:24All right.
04:24Hey, Roxanne, how do you unwind?
04:27What do you do to unwind?
04:29That's too personal.
04:32Oh, my.
04:33What?
04:34You can't say, like, go to the beach?
04:36You're the worst date ever.
04:38Wait a sec.
04:39Unless you're not.
04:40I'm more intrigued now.
04:42What do you do to unwind?
04:43I'm just kidding.
04:44I'm just kidding.
04:45No, it's okay.
04:46What do I do to unwind?
04:47I like to listen to ASMR videos.
04:51Wow, this girl's a freak.
04:54All right.
04:54Here's the next question.
04:55So what is your favorite memory as a child?
04:59My favorite memory as a child is, let me see.
05:03I would say seeing snow for the first time.
05:05And I went on.
05:08That's enough.
05:08All right.
05:09Next question.
05:10Next.
05:10What are people surprised to learn about you?
05:14Oh, I'm double-jointed.
05:16My thumbs are double-jointed.
05:17Do you want to give that information out on the first date?
05:20Yeah.
05:20I mean, you may have to hold that card to yourself for a while.
05:23Can we go back to your place now?
05:24That sounds like.
05:25Let's skip the mozzarella sticks.
05:27That's really third date information.
05:29All right.
05:30Next.
05:32How do you spend your free time?
05:33Um, I spend my free time, um, taking care of my kids.
05:38By the way, I have two children.
05:40What?
05:40You didn't tell me that in your profile?
05:43You have two kids?
05:44Two kids.
05:45Yeah.
05:45On the bottom of her profile where it said two trophies on the shelf.
05:48That's what that meant.
05:49Yeah.
05:49That's it.
05:49That was code for, I have two young children.
05:51So I take care of my kids.
05:53But Mike.
05:53Oh, this is a nice restaurant.
05:55I like this.
05:56Wait.
05:56It just shifted to lounge music.
05:59We changed restaurants real quick.
06:01I gave Coop a better selection.
06:04Hey, Coop, did that just change midstream?
06:06No, no, no.
06:07I went to a different one.
06:08Oh, you put us in a new restaurant.
06:10Yeah, we're in a new restaurant.
06:11The wait times are too long at the other one.
06:12All right.
06:13So here, Froggy's going to be your server.
06:15Chet is no longer working at the Applebee's.
06:17You have a new server.
06:18Hello.
06:18Welcome to Antonio's.
06:20Thank you for coming.
06:22How can I help you?
06:23What a lovely woman with such a hideous mouth.
06:27All right.
06:27So now let me ask.
06:29I like this place a lot better.
06:30I'm going to be much more relaxed.
06:31All right.
06:32A few more questions.
06:34What are you looking for in a relationship, Roxanne?
06:37Okay.
06:38So I do like guys with a sense of humor.
06:40All right.
06:41All right.
06:42I mean, are you guys going to order?
06:43Or am I going to stand here as you ask each other questions?
06:47Oh, do you want this one?
06:48Here, let me give you this wine.
06:49What are some of the specials today, Antonio?
06:54Well, we have a spaghetti and the meatballs.
06:57We have a lasagna.
07:01We have a cheese stick.
07:03A cheese stick?
07:04Just a single cheese stick.
07:06It's a special.
07:07And we have a tiny chicken.
07:09Mini chickens.
07:10Mini chickens.
07:11The size of the postage stamp.
07:13Is it like a chicken with dwarfism?
07:16No, it's a whole chicken, but mini.
07:18You pop them in your mouth.
07:21Bones and all.
07:23This date is very awkward, by the way.
07:26I've got two more questions.
07:27All right.
07:27I'll be back with your mini chicken.
07:29Roxanne, where do you envision yourself five years from now?
07:33Oh, well, I work with this great group of gentlemen on a morning show.
07:38And so I just envision myself there with those gentlemen.
07:42What show?
07:42Don't mind me asking.
07:43I'm just a server.
07:44What show?
07:45All right, and the final question.
07:47I love the jazz band in the lounge.
07:50Yeah, I do too.
07:50Yeah, hang on.
07:51What show do you listen to, man?
07:53It's the MJ Morning Show.
07:55Oh, that show, Doody.
07:56Yes.
07:56All right.
07:57So, Roxanne, what do you think of our date so far?
07:59We were at Applebee's, and then suddenly we were transported to Antonio's Italian.
08:05I like it.
08:06Yeah.
08:06Yes, Antonio.
08:07Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt.
08:08Go ahead.
08:09You're on a date.
08:09All right, can you leave now?
08:11I want to talk.
08:12This is my first date.
08:12I'll be back with the plate of the mini chicken.
08:16All right.
08:17All right.
08:18Roxanne, have you ever had sex on the first date?
08:24We're on a date, and you're asking me that?
08:25Yeah, yeah.
08:26No.
08:26Is that on your list?
08:27Does USA Today say that as a suggested question?
08:30No, that's not on the list.
08:31Oh, okay.
08:31All right.
08:33Whoa.
08:35That was just your improv.
08:36I just thought I'd just toss it in as the grand finale to this bit.
08:40Honestly, if you wanted a longer conversation, ask about the date she doesn't have it on
08:44first date.
08:44Can we leave this on for the whole show?
08:46Should we do it from now on?
08:48It's like the Tom Steele show.
08:49Should the MJ morning show just be like it's coming from a lounge every morning?
08:54It should be.
08:55Welcome to the morning show lounge.
08:57Hey.
08:57That's the best morning lounge.
09:00I'm just here eating some Bourbon Street steak.
09:01Can we have some raindrops, too?
09:03Like some nice jazzy rain?
09:04Is that true?
09:05Never on the first date?
09:05No.
09:06MJ?
09:07Inappropriate.
09:08You know, Doug and I were together.
09:09We were like friend dating from like six months.
09:13How about you?
09:13Did you ever have sex with Death Beth?
09:16What was her name?
09:16Death.
09:17Death.
09:17No, Beth wasn't Death.
09:19The mom was Death Beth.
09:20Listen, Michelle's listening now.
09:22Please don't bring up.
09:22Oh, you can ask Roxanne, but I can't ask you?
09:24Don't bring up the exes, all right?
09:26We stop.