Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman who is in trouble for zapping a guys package with a stun gun and Andy knows he wouldn't be able to handle the torture.
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00:00This lady in Louisiana took ball busting to a new extreme.
00:13Please say Nadira Tardif tried to settle a fight with a man by repeatedly zapping him with her pink stun gun, including several times in the balls.
00:26I cannot imagine the pain of that.
00:29I can't. I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
00:31Your nuts aren't designed for it.
00:34The balls, I think, would be the last place on my body I would agree to.
00:39You run the risk of ruining your balls.
00:41If I wanted you to tell me a secret, if I wanted you to tell me a secret.
00:47You'd threaten to zap my balls?
00:48I would zap them once.
00:51And then I would say, now tell me the secret.
00:56You just spill.
00:57And I bet you spill those beans.
00:58One balls, that will do it.
01:01I'm pretty sure.
01:02Jack Bauer ain't got nothing on you.
01:05It'd be like that.
01:07What was it in James Bond where he put him in that chair and his balls were hanging?
01:11And he was beating his balls underneath the chair.
01:16I didn't see that.
01:17Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:19Like whacking him.
01:20Yeah, I forgot about that.
01:21Yeah.
01:21But I would be stunning him until you told me everything.
01:25Everything about your old son.
01:26That was in a James Bond movie?
01:27It was, wasn't it?
01:28It was in...
01:29I believe it was.
01:29It was the new guy.
01:31Oh, yeah.
01:31It was the very first one that he was in.
01:34Daniel Craig.
01:35Daniel Craig.
01:36James Bond.
01:37That's fine.
01:38Was it James Bond torture?
01:39Was it James Bond's balls?
01:41Yes.
01:41I believe it was James Bond's balls.
01:42Is he no royale, was it?
01:44Probably.
01:45It sounds like something out of an S&M porno.
01:46That's why I was like...
01:47There it is.
01:47Is Jack Frost in his whiter's hair?
01:49Let's listen in here.
01:50Let's see.
01:51Come on.
01:51Come on.
01:52Let's see.
01:53Come on.
01:53Listen.
01:55Oh, my God.
01:57Yeah.
01:57So he swings it under the chair as his balls are dangling through the chair.
02:00Mm-mm.
02:01Yeah.
02:01I'm done scratching my balls.
02:04Are you done scratching my balls?
02:05And he's laughing.
02:06So James Bond is tougher than all of us remember.
02:10Yeah.
02:11Yeah.
02:11James Bond is tough nuts.
02:12I would have been a different James Bond in that scene.
02:14He'd have hit me once and I'd be like...
02:16He'd have passed out immediately.
02:21That's right, yeah.
02:23You mean Andy Bond would be different?
02:25Way different.
02:28It's done.
02:30The scene would have been quick.
02:31Twitching.
02:31He wouldn't have even got to hit you.
02:33No.
02:33You know, like, listen, I'm going to swing this at your balls unless you tell me the password.
02:38The password is what you want to say.
02:40Here it is.
02:41Here's every national secret I know.
02:46Don't do whatever you're thinking of doing.
02:48Yeah, this is how Andy would be in that scene.
02:52Hey, kid.
02:53I want you to spill your guts.
02:55Tell us everything.
02:56Everything.
02:58Everything.
02:59Everything.
03:00Okay, I'll talk.
03:03Yep.
03:03In the third grade, I cheated on my history account.
03:06In the fourth grade, I stole my Uncle Max's little pad.
03:09I glued it on my face.
03:10But I believe Moses and my Hebrews will play.
03:13In the fifth grade, I got great sister reading tales and stares.
03:17And I played it on the top.
03:17Bond.
03:17Andy Bond.
03:19And then one third lunch, I got nuts.
03:25And I faked out.
03:26And they kicked me out.
03:28That is accurate.
03:29A new take on James Bond.
03:31Yeah.
03:32Andy Bond.
03:33He'll tell you everything you want to know.
03:35Any torture scene I'd be in, I would spill the beans.
03:40What are you going to do with those chains?
03:43Okay, listen.
03:44Listen to me very carefully.
03:46The password to the nuclear launch codes is exactly...
03:49Are you going to write it down?
03:50Get a pen.
03:51Put your chains down.
03:52Grab a pen.
03:55A car battery.
03:57Okay.
03:57I'll tell you the secret location of the base.
04:01Get a map.
04:02Get me a map.
04:05Put down the battery and get a map.
04:09A medieval mace.
04:10Oh, man.
04:11Okay.
04:12All right.
04:13I'll tell you exactly where the airfield lies.
04:16That would be the worst agent ever.
04:18The worst agent in history.
04:20Bond.
04:21Andy Bond.
04:22I'll take your right to him, my boss.
04:24I'll take your right to him.
04:26Tell me a little whatever you want to know.
04:32Andy Bond.
04:33Andy Bond.
04:35Name's Bond.
04:35Andy Bond.
04:38James is his younger brother.
04:41He pulled some strings and got me in.
04:45I am not as good.
04:47What is that, a spork?
04:49Hey, man, listen.
04:50I don't really care.
04:51I'm not good at this job.
04:53I'm going to level with you.
04:54You caught me.
04:55I'm caught.
04:56All right.
04:57Don't do anything rash.
04:58Wait a second.
04:59Great idea.
05:00Yeah.
05:01James Bond and his brother Andy Bond.
05:03Yes.
05:04The same movie.
05:04Oh, my God.
05:06And James is always having to save Andy.
05:07James is still awesome.
05:10Right.
05:10And it handles everything.
05:13And Andy's terrible.
05:14Yeah.
05:15That's a great movie idea.
05:16That is a great.
05:17James kicks in the door and is like, hey, listen.
05:20And he gets the guy or whatever.
05:21And I'm like, boy, I'm glad you showed up.
05:24Wow.
05:25It's good you killed him, too, because I told him everything.
05:28I told him something about you.
05:31I told him where you live.
05:34Thank God he's dead.
05:36Good thing that you were here.
05:40He just held up some sandpaper.
05:41I don't even know what he was going to do with.
05:46Whoa.
05:47Oh, but Andy Green is James Bond's troublesome younger brother.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Get a dog to do a tank with sharks.
05:55I'm like, okay, whatever.
05:57Stop it.
05:58Stop the device.
05:59That laser thing is going up your legs.
06:02I'm in a real pickle, huh?
06:04You let me go.
06:05I'll tell you everything.
06:07I love it.
06:08I love the idea.
06:09It would definitely be funny to see.