Remember Dusa, the maid you can almost romance but then she explains that the power dynamics would make it weird since you’re the Prince of Hades and she’s a floating head? She got over it. She fully smooches you and then all her little snake hair heads smooch you too. She’s even pro-patriarchy now! She likes the power dynamics. She’s gone full Handmaid's Tale right wing grift. Nyx has a podcast.
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FunTranscript
00:00you're seriously missing out dude remember doosa the maid you can almost romance but then she
00:13explains that the power dynamics would make it weird since you're the prince of the underworld
00:17she's a floating head yeah she got over it she fully smooches you and then all her little snake
00:24heads smooch you too i don't believe you she likes the power dynamics she gets off on it dude
00:29she's gone full handmaid's tale right wing grift nyx has a podcast bro even if that was true
00:37which it isn't i said no spoilers that's the whole point you mean the whole point of not playing hades
00:422 right the long anticipated follow-up to one of your favorite games man don't start even though
00:48it's out already it's not out early access is not out if i played through it now i would forever
00:53know there's a more complete version more polished gameplay completed story that i will never ever
00:58experience i mean you could just play it again but that's like unwrapping a present
01:03wrapping it and opening it again it's not the same thing like having your cake and eating it too
01:08then eating the cake poo not at all like being second in line at a gangbang you disgust me
01:13like replaying a game you already played in early access nailed it like stop it just stop you went
01:20past it so then what are you playing uh something else you know i can just look at your discord profile
01:25and see right not if i turn invisible first too late oh man myth gods of asgard dude that's a blatant
01:33hades ripoff hey you keep talking up hades 2 and i need something to tide me over you can use hades 2
01:39to tide you over what is free to play free to play adam my god sir what have you done i've spent 40
01:47dollars on upgrades and unique characters is what i've done oh man oh no i am so sorry about that for
01:54you look i'd rather scratch the itch and wait for the whole hades release i don't really see the
01:58point of this new culture where everything is early access why do we even want early access i can wait
02:03i can wait till the thing's done in fact i would prefer that i don't want to see the table read of
02:06a sitcom or like a half rendered pixar movie but early access has given us some incredible games or
02:12improvements to games that would have been broken without the input of the fan base and people do
02:17watch unfinished movies this is exactly like focus grouping a movie before you release it you're
02:22allowed to do that baldur's gate 3 slay the spire darkest dungeon subnautica all famously benefited
02:29from early access fine then it's good that there's a little sliver of people who'll do that like a
02:33focus group but the problem is now it's become a sales gimmick things go into exclusive vip pre-alpha
02:38purely to build buzz or worse to ship an unfinished game and maybe that early money helps them finish said
02:45game like how cyberpunk 2077 got so much better later so what i pay for the first half of deadpool 6
02:52and then they use that money to go shoot the second half what is this madness said the man sitting
02:57there paying real money for something that bills itself as free and is completely artistically
03:02bankrupt and not in the good sexy way hey it's not a total hades ripoff it's all focused on norse
03:08mythology instead did you know they had nine realms and a big tree in the middle no i did not because i
03:12have not played god of war 2018 or skyrim or hellblade or valheim or the banner saga or god of war 3 or
03:21god of war ragnarok that's their word for apocalypse who norse the norses the men from up norse i see
03:27so can you romance odin at least see odin's o face you know he can pop his eyeballs out plenty of erotic
03:34options there actually the writing is pretty subpar and way less horny less horny what's even the point
03:39then hades is basically a dating sim that we're allowed to play because the combat is also good
03:44yeah yeah in hades 2 you can romance cerberus now but you gotta unlock the peanut butter boom three
03:51heads are better than one dude it's the teeth and the disgust hat trick they said he couldn't do it
03:56but he put peanut butter on his genitals so the dog that guards the gates of hell would give him toothy
04:01oral michael swain ladies and gentlemen talk about early access all access i'll show up early you get
04:07what i'm saying early access lets small teams get into the conversation and try out their game's
04:13hook without barrier to entry like if the loop catches on that interest from the community can
04:18often propel the team to a finish line that let's be honest most games don't reach void train you can't
04:25just make up games lots of survival games actually early access is the perfect way to fine-tune like
04:31sons of the forest or rust or even like satisfactory it would be impossible to employ the number
04:37of testers you'd need to polish something and balance something that complex on an indie dev budget
04:43right but hades was already a smash hit and hades 2 is intentionally not reinventing the wheel polish
04:48is already there supergiant know they're going to ace this and i really don't feel like they need
04:52feedback as much as they want to generate buzz and get the gates to hades land open again as soon as
04:57possible right and they are open and we're all in here having fun while you're continuing to shove the
05:02sisyphus rock up the mountain because osha hasn't cleared the conveyor belt for use yet sisyphus
05:08who see that's how you can tell i haven't played hades 2 because i would know that get it not really
05:12i'm too focused on enjoying my 95 complete gaming experience so i guess it's good that early access
05:18exists but it can also become a crutch so it needs to be evaluated on like a case-by-case basis right
05:24stuff is complex and has nuance yeah so we have to use our judgment to discern things i know sucks yeah i hate it too
05:33hey everybody so great to be back on cracked if you like this video hit that like button and if you
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05:56twice a month and we're very serious about it we've been doing it for years miss you guys great to see you again